Wednesday August 27, 2014....


    Back to School week has happened!  Daughter has started 4th Grade with her first Male Teacher and she's not real sure he isn't boring.  I explained she just had to get to know him.  Son one had him and loved him. I'm sure she'll be fine.   She needs a lot of brushing up on her math though... I didn't really think about math during the summer.  Son 2 started at his new school and seems to like it.  He attends from 9 - 2 and goes at his own pace.
     Work has been good. Trying to keep things up at work so I can be making more money. Home is peaceful for the most part and although there are still so many unknowns and stresses I don't remember the last time I was so happy.
      Strangest thing happened the other day.  My boyfriend tells me he can take the kids to my moms house because he's going that way anyway.  Then he takes them to my moms the very next day, allowing me to go straight on to work and not be late.  I took them today and he was not mad but concerned why I didn't just let him take them.  He's so wonderful I just don't even know what to do with myself.  I find myself sitting around with a stupid grin on my face because of something he has said or done for me.  I could go on and on all the wonderful things he does. Not used to anyone helping me get kids around.  That will be something I still need to work on.
I don't think either husbands ever volunteered to pick my kids up or get them to the babysitter until we weren't together anymore and they had to.
He's wonderful I tell you.
     Fall has come sneaking in on me.  First it was that blasted tree changing colors in the middle of July.  Then it was the rainstorms blasting through with cooler temps.  I don't quite smell Halloween but I am starting to feel it prickling at my neck.  It is the season of my favorite Holiday.  Halloween.  I also enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas although I don't enjoy Winter.  I'm always freezing anyway but that much more in the winter, not too mention having to drive on the ice packed sludge roads while a million more people are trying to go past me way too fast.. the stress.. we all know how it is and I don't know many people who like driving on winter roads.
       Feeling like I should go make some sort of dinner for my kids. I am a mother after all  :)
    

Friday August 22, 2014....  


     Hanging out at home doing some cleaning.  People coming through the house in the morning.  Used to have set plans on Friday but now, well without Sister/friend and her family I really never have plans.  It's ok I suppose.  I still don't know what I've done.  I still feel I have a right to know what I've done. She has her reasons.  I have no idea what they are but she has a right to them I suppose.  I'm pretty much needing to just concentrate on my life.
     Fall has made a very sudden arrival, a lot sooner than I had hoped.  The greens and fading to yellow and leaves long tinted with gold are turning orange and red, drying in the dying afternoon sun, and falling to the ground. Soon I'll be spending most of my time keeping the leaves cleaned up but it is always nice out in the crisp autumn air.
     I always ruin the season by my solid hatred of winter snow.  It's not that I hate winter, or even snow for that matter.  I just hate risking my life to get back and forth across the city at the break of dawn in the freezing cold with a foot of slush on the roads and traffic backed up for hours. Even leaving early just means it's less cleaned up.  I hate it.  I'm already pining for spring and summer and hoping things will just hurry up.
     This year has been the best year I have had in quite some time. I hope that they just keep getting better.
     

Wednesday August 20, 2014...


    Today was a Wednesday for sure.  Long and boring.  The power went out at work and we were on generator power all day.  It was nice the lights were down low there was some fun in the environment. I was backup so I took a couple sup calls and hung out.  We had a potluck that went over ok and finally I was off.
     The weather has cooled a bit and the leaves are changing color. Not looking forward to raking leaves.  Guess it won't be too bad. I do it every year.   What I'm really not looking forward to truth be told is the snow.  Winter, the treacherous roads at 6:00 am. Having to get up hours early to just get to work on time. ...  Winter how I dread you...
    Life is going ok for now and I'm sure drama will rear it's head any moment. I am trying to live a less stressed and happier life.  So far so good.

Wednesday August 13, 2014...


   I'm gonna gush a lot about my man today.  I was having the most long blah day and I check my phone on break to find he has texted me one simple sentence.  "I'm so happy to have you in my life..."
    It made me smile the rest of the workday and I was still smiling when I left the parking lot.  I have been smiling since I've been home and of course thinking about him.  He makes me happy and I'm reminded of the saying "It's the small things that make us happiest..."   One sentence..
     I'm intrigued with how he never makes promises.  He comes home from working a 12 hour shift and cleans the bathroom or completely takes care of the yard, mowing and trimming included.  He makes me dinner or does the dishes.  I never have to ask him to help with anything.  He just does it.  He never gets mad at me either.  Not for anything.  He doesn't make fun of me for being sick and he doesn't care if I sit there doing nothing while he cleans. He doesn't just sit there promising to do it and then do nothing.   I don't even know what to think. I do know that I never want to lose him.
     I know I am so happy that most of the time there is a smile on my face. I don't know about when I'm sleeping but I could maybe ask.  I feel stressed about some things, the house situation, money situation..but at the same time I feel like everything is finally right in my life. I am not going crazy freaking out with stress.
     God will lead the way for us and we will have the things we need in life.  We are finally on the right path and I can't wait to see what is in store for us.  Glad to finally have some idea of a future.

Tuesday August 12, 2014...


    It's been a long slow day today.  Not much going on at work.   Came home and have gotten a few things done.  Dinner is at least going and I washed a sink load of dishes and started laundry.
     It's cloudy today.  We are supposed to get a lot of rain this week.  Flash flood warnings are in effect. Looks like fall is right around the corner regardless of what I want.  I really wanted to be moved by now.  I really did.
      Things are good around here.  The yard is looking great thanks to my man, the house is clean the kids will all be home soon and things will be back to business. I wanted to get them on schedules while living in our new place. oh man....
      Hope we can find a place.  I'm starting to get worried. I don't know what we are supposed to do if we can't find a place. I'll keep looking but we may have to downgrade to 3 bdrm and hope for a family room or den to make a 5th.  I guess things are always rocky at first. That's how you get to all the good stuff.

Sunday August 10, 2014.....


    The summer has gone so fast.   The kids are back at school in a couple weeks and Son 2 is going to a different school this year.   I don't know how it's gonna work and how he's gonna get his license but hopefully they can help him with that this year before he graduates.  Daughter is going into 5th grade and is getting excited although she has been at her Dad's house the last couple weeks and now wants to have more time at home ....
      We have been getting more crap taken out to the front for the neighborhood clean up.  I'm glad they have those, it's made it nice to get rid of some stuff. If they don't clean it up tomorrow I'll be able to get even more out. We are still waiting on the money from the divorce to get a place.  I don't know how else we will come up with first and last months rent at once. I need a better job. Or another job... something.
     I'll keep praying that we can get a place soon because I think it would do us a world of good to get moved into our own place and start our life without the intrusion in it.  Can't wait to have a lifetime with my man because he is wonderful.  He works so hard for me.  I'm proud to call myself his girlfriend and love him very much.  Never thought it would happen for me but here he is.  God is good.

Thursday August 7, 2014....


    I hate that you get paid only to turn all of your money over to your bills.  Hi money... Bye money....  Now what to do til next pay check?  I can't live like this much longer.   I need a second job.  anyone know someone hiring for really flexible hours in the evenings?  let me know....
    Dr. visit was just for blood so we'll see if they change my meds again.  Having a Thyroid Disease really sucks.   I am used to it but it still really sucks and I'm tired of being sick all the time.  I just want to make it through a week without puking or having diarrhea.  
    The sun is shining and the temperatures aren't too bad today.  I really don't feel like cooking so it's leftovers or going out.  I think I want to go out.  hmmm decisions... decisions.....

Tuesday August 5, 2014....

  I'm in denial that it is already August.  I can't believe the summer is almost over and we haven't even been to the Zoo.  We haven't been to Lagoon, or even done very many BBQ's although I feel like I've had more than I normally did.   I don't want them going back to school yet.  BOO!!
    There I'm done.  The rain was magnificent today, beating so hard on the metal roof of my work that you couldn't even tell it was rain.  A co-worker had to point out that it was raining and motion to the window for me to look.  It was awesome!!  Awesome I tell you...
    I was hoping to come home and veg today but I don't know if it's gonna happen or not.  I don't want to cook, we can have left overs.. I just don't want to clean... hmmm I don't think it's gonna work.  I'll probably have to pull weeds or do laundry or dishes or something.  aaaaaaaaaaaarrrr
gghhh the troubles of being an adult. 
    Didn't get to see much sun today but I am just noticing a bright blue slice of sky through the clouds that are starting to dissipate.  Just enough to maybe have a nice sunset tonight. 

Monday August 4, 2014....
   
    Still nothing from the courts and only a bill from the lawyer.  How am I supposed to find a place and get moved without my money from that 401k?  How am I supposed to pay him more money?  I don't know what to do..
     However the sun is shining through breaks in the soggy gray clouds.  There will be a rainbow at the end of the storm. Hopefully it will leave the air smelling cleaner. 
      Work was there and then it was gone.  I found out that I may have been responsible for someone being suspended for the last week.  Never meant for that to happen just doing my job. Hope everything works out for him because I really liked him he's a good team mate.  Otherwise things seem to be looking up for me.  Maybe I'll try not to jinx it, but I will backing up next week.  I had a really good score this month which should put me at the top of my game again soon. 
     I really need to gain a different and more positive attitude at work.  I need more money and it would be great if I could get that from the company I already work for. 
     My supervisor really makes me want to do better.  Be better.  Be stronger.  She's quite strong herself.  I wasn't sure at first but I think I like her.   She's way younger than me but I could be friends with her.
     As far as home life it's like a dream.  Son 1 is still only talking to me when he wants something.  Son 2 is out of town but of course wants me to go and enroll him at a new school that will make it so I have to drive to that area twice a day.  No biggie I'm a billionaire......
      Daughter will be going into 5th grade.   When did she get so big?  She keeps growing too and is always having growing pains.  She'll be towering over me soon enough.  Blink and we miss it.  They've grown and they hate us.  Hope it all works out.
      My love is wonderful and keeps me very happy.  Can't say there hasn't been compromises already but things are new still there will be plenty more to come.  I try to stay supportive and loving since that is how he is with me.
My happiest moment will be when my son finally accepts things and comes back to being my son.  I miss him very much.
      Listening to some tunes and can't stop dancing.  Been listening to a lot more music lately as it's my sweethearts passion.  I don't mind Im just used to different things. T.V doesn't allow you to have the noise without the picture and sometimes all you need is the background.
      Dancing has got to be good for the soul....