Wednesday October 22, 2014....
I could go on about the wonderful morning I've had but I'll just say that someone smashed out my side passenger back window during the night. I have my thoughts as to who it was but since there is no proof I'll just move on. the glass is cleaned up for the most part and I have an appointment to get it fixed at 2. It will cost us everything we had saved for rent so far but it will be fixed. I don't know what else we would do. I had to take the day off because I don't want my car sitting in the parking lot with no window in it. It's an inconvenience but oh well I'll get over it and move on.
The day has been perfectly lovely today. It's a cool autumn day that has a bright sun and yet you can tell it's fall. It's not the same bright sun as the summer sun. The leaves are fluttering in the slight breeze and I can smell Halloween. I need to get planning Jazmins Halloween Party because it's next week. Yay!!!
We still haven't heard anything on the house and I'm starting to get really worried about that. Deep breath. One more thing I can't do anything about. I need to check into getting a loan of some sort. We need rent money.
The kids are doing ok. Boy 2 is still moping about but was atleast responsive to me today. The girl is doing good and remains her normal hopeful and cheerful self. Boy 1 is doing ok as well. We are all hanging in there with the stress everyone must feel.
Better days are ahead for us I am going to just hold the faith and know that better days are a head for us. We are all going to get through this fine.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Tuesday October 21, 2014...
It's getting a little harder to breathe. Time just ticking away. Tick. Tick. Tick. We still haven't heard we aren't getting the house but we haven't been able to move in yet and we only have about 400. dollars saved. I don't know what we are going to do. I keep saying I need a second job but don't really want one. I already have a full time job and I really don't want another one. If only I could find a way to make money from home. Real money. Like a second job I can actually work around my hours and my family. ahhhh always the dream I guess.
Things are kinda sad around here due to the fact that there has been another break up. The whole thing with the house. Kids wanting cars and jobs and all the things kids want. I really have no idea how we are even gonna have Christmas this year. Oh well I should be hoping we are moved before the snow flies.
I don't look forward to the drive I will admit. It's so far out there and it gets crazy heading South. I'm sure I'll get used to it. I love the house and feel we were led to it. I think we could make many happy memories in our own house. I know we have already made many happy memories and this chapter of our lives has only just begun. It feels like it has always been this way. so strange....
The weather has finally started to show fall. The leaves are fluttering to the ground turning orange and brown and crunching underfoot. The sound reminding me of a million childhood memories mostly of trick or treat. Don't enjoy the cold temperatures creeping in but grateful that it hasn't been colder. Still not wearing any heavy jackets and that is something to be thankful for.
It's getting a little harder to breathe. Time just ticking away. Tick. Tick. Tick. We still haven't heard we aren't getting the house but we haven't been able to move in yet and we only have about 400. dollars saved. I don't know what we are going to do. I keep saying I need a second job but don't really want one. I already have a full time job and I really don't want another one. If only I could find a way to make money from home. Real money. Like a second job I can actually work around my hours and my family. ahhhh always the dream I guess.
Things are kinda sad around here due to the fact that there has been another break up. The whole thing with the house. Kids wanting cars and jobs and all the things kids want. I really have no idea how we are even gonna have Christmas this year. Oh well I should be hoping we are moved before the snow flies.
I don't look forward to the drive I will admit. It's so far out there and it gets crazy heading South. I'm sure I'll get used to it. I love the house and feel we were led to it. I think we could make many happy memories in our own house. I know we have already made many happy memories and this chapter of our lives has only just begun. It feels like it has always been this way. so strange....
The weather has finally started to show fall. The leaves are fluttering to the ground turning orange and brown and crunching underfoot. The sound reminding me of a million childhood memories mostly of trick or treat. Don't enjoy the cold temperatures creeping in but grateful that it hasn't been colder. Still not wearing any heavy jackets and that is something to be thankful for.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Saturday October 18, 2014.....
Tick Tick Tick still nothing on the money or the house. Starting to really get stressed. I'm gonna have to start looking into other places if I don't hear back soon. I really thought this one was going to be good. I really like it.
We went to the Witch Festival at Gardner Village today. It was really fun. They had a maze and Giant jumping pillow. We played a scavenger hunt and ate some cheesy pepperoni bread. They also had pony rides and face painting but we didn't end up participating in that.
Konner and Jazmin both had a really good time there. I like to do fun Halloween things with the kids. Memories are what they need more of instead of screens and video games.
Tick Tick Tick still nothing on the money or the house. Starting to really get stressed. I'm gonna have to start looking into other places if I don't hear back soon. I really thought this one was going to be good. I really like it.
We went to the Witch Festival at Gardner Village today. It was really fun. They had a maze and Giant jumping pillow. We played a scavenger hunt and ate some cheesy pepperoni bread. They also had pony rides and face painting but we didn't end up participating in that.
Konner and Jazmin both had a really good time there. I like to do fun Halloween things with the kids. Memories are what they need more of instead of screens and video games.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Thursday October 16, 2014....
Nothing like forgetting your boss on bosses day. She was in a bad mood all day.. kept wondering why. I feel like maybe it was a blonde moment or something. We have plans for her tomorrow though, hopefully I can find a way to get her away from her desk when I get there in the morning.
We'll tell her we wanted to surprise her instead. ha ha I made her éclair cake and we got her flowers and a necklace. Hope she likes it.
Can't wait for the weekend. Think I'll take the kids to the witch festival at Gardner Village on Saturday. It is supposed to be free with pony rides and face painting, and trick or treating. Should be a good time.
Nothing like forgetting your boss on bosses day. She was in a bad mood all day.. kept wondering why. I feel like maybe it was a blonde moment or something. We have plans for her tomorrow though, hopefully I can find a way to get her away from her desk when I get there in the morning.
We'll tell her we wanted to surprise her instead. ha ha I made her éclair cake and we got her flowers and a necklace. Hope she likes it.
Can't wait for the weekend. Think I'll take the kids to the witch festival at Gardner Village on Saturday. It is supposed to be free with pony rides and face painting, and trick or treating. Should be a good time.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Monday October 13, 2014....
I should learn to not take Benadryl on a work night.. I couldn't wake up all day and was working in a daze most of the day. Not surprisingly I was back up supervisor all day so it wasn't hard to stay in the daze...
The weather has been great for October and I hope it holds out til we get moved.. crossing our fingers that is soon. Haven't heard back yet but things were sounding good when last I heard.
Boy 2 has his heart broken again with another girl telling him she wants to date more than one person... he did everything for her and she'll never find anyone as good but her loss I guess. I'm gonna get me a shotgun!
I should learn to not take Benadryl on a work night.. I couldn't wake up all day and was working in a daze most of the day. Not surprisingly I was back up supervisor all day so it wasn't hard to stay in the daze...
The weather has been great for October and I hope it holds out til we get moved.. crossing our fingers that is soon. Haven't heard back yet but things were sounding good when last I heard.
Boy 2 has his heart broken again with another girl telling him she wants to date more than one person... he did everything for her and she'll never find anyone as good but her loss I guess. I'm gonna get me a shotgun!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Sunday October 12, 2014...
The month is sliding right by. I haven't even decorated for Halloween this year and was so hoping to decorate the new house. There is always Thanksgiving I suppose, but Halloween is my favorite. I still have to get Jazmin a costume. She is wanting to be a Pirate this year. I think I'll be a witch or Elvira. We are going to a Halloween party this year so either I'll be sexy Elvira or we will dress as a couple like Dr. and Nurse or Priest and Nun or something. Not sure it's been a really long time since I had someone to dress up with.
Kids are all doing great. Everyday we get stronger together and hopefully getting into a new place will be a whole new start for all of us.
Tayson is hoping to get a job when we get moved and Bailey is hoping to get a new job. They all want cars, but I would just be grateful to have ours paid for. We need to get our bills paid and get more money freed up for the house payment.
As for my sweetie and I we are also doing great. He takes good care of me and is always so loving and kind. I think more and more each day that I don't know how I've lived this long without him, and how I could ever live without him in the future... He's wonderful.
The month is sliding right by. I haven't even decorated for Halloween this year and was so hoping to decorate the new house. There is always Thanksgiving I suppose, but Halloween is my favorite. I still have to get Jazmin a costume. She is wanting to be a Pirate this year. I think I'll be a witch or Elvira. We are going to a Halloween party this year so either I'll be sexy Elvira or we will dress as a couple like Dr. and Nurse or Priest and Nun or something. Not sure it's been a really long time since I had someone to dress up with.
Kids are all doing great. Everyday we get stronger together and hopefully getting into a new place will be a whole new start for all of us.
Tayson is hoping to get a job when we get moved and Bailey is hoping to get a new job. They all want cars, but I would just be grateful to have ours paid for. We need to get our bills paid and get more money freed up for the house payment.
As for my sweetie and I we are also doing great. He takes good care of me and is always so loving and kind. I think more and more each day that I don't know how I've lived this long without him, and how I could ever live without him in the future... He's wonderful.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Monday October 6, 2014....
Well today has definitely been a Monday. Work was ok short of it being it's usual craziness, I was my usual Monday morning tired. Half way through the day I found that my account was near being depleted and my car payment hadn't gone through. Got off work deposited a check and made the car payment, back to $29.00. Cool. Child support goes in tomorrow.... oh wait, the car insurance hasn't cleared... $153.00, Sweet no problem that'll clear fine.... where does a parents money go. I haven't bought myself anything in so long I can't remember the last time I actually spent money on me. I work 40 hours a week and my sweetie has paid my utilities so where is my money going???
Oh ya food for the teenagers, gas to drive the teenagers around, special body wash for the teenagers... special shampoo for the teenagers, picture day at school for two kids, gas to get to work to pay for the teenagers.... oh please tell me when it ends.
Other than teenager woes I am doing great and things couldn't be better. Well if we don't count the days ticking down to homelessness... then it couldn't be better...
Well today has definitely been a Monday. Work was ok short of it being it's usual craziness, I was my usual Monday morning tired. Half way through the day I found that my account was near being depleted and my car payment hadn't gone through. Got off work deposited a check and made the car payment, back to $29.00. Cool. Child support goes in tomorrow.... oh wait, the car insurance hasn't cleared... $153.00, Sweet no problem that'll clear fine.... where does a parents money go. I haven't bought myself anything in so long I can't remember the last time I actually spent money on me. I work 40 hours a week and my sweetie has paid my utilities so where is my money going???
Oh ya food for the teenagers, gas to drive the teenagers around, special body wash for the teenagers... special shampoo for the teenagers, picture day at school for two kids, gas to get to work to pay for the teenagers.... oh please tell me when it ends.
Other than teenager woes I am doing great and things couldn't be better. Well if we don't count the days ticking down to homelessness... then it couldn't be better...
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Sunday October 5, 2014....
Just sent paperwork to the potential landlord. Hoping to hear something good this week about the living conditions. It was a beautiful day and I have just been taking it easy getting the laundry done and going grocery shopping. I don't like grocery shopping it's expensive.
I need another job to just feed these teenagers. It costs a small fortune. The kids are doing good. Daughter has parent teacher conference next week and then Halloween at the end of the month.. Still my favorite holiday. I also like the changing of the season and the leaves falling and changing colors. The sound and feel of the leaves crunching under your feet and the smell of not only fall but Halloween.
Daughter has chosen to be a Pirate this year. Haven't heard anything on the class party yet. Guess when I go to the conference I'll ask about the party and make sure I can help with it. It is our tradition to do her party and spend the day together and then go trick or treating. It is our weekend so I'm sure she will have fun trick or treating. If we have moved she can trick or treat in our neighborhood too.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Monday September 29, 2014...
Been a pretty great day. The weather of course is Fall, leaves are starting to fall and the mornings are colder. The air crisper and sun starts to fade much sooner than it used to. I miss summer already...
The house owner is still saying all is well but that he's busy with several properties and he's getting paperwork together. I don't know what to think. I want to move and I want to do it pronto. I want to be moving on with my life without this place in the way.
The kids are already fighting over rooms and beds and oh my god I really just want to pack me and my sweetheart up and runaway... but they are our kids so we'll have to deal with it. Hopefully they will all grow up and start acting responsible on their own. .... one can dream....
Been a pretty great day. The weather of course is Fall, leaves are starting to fall and the mornings are colder. The air crisper and sun starts to fade much sooner than it used to. I miss summer already...
The house owner is still saying all is well but that he's busy with several properties and he's getting paperwork together. I don't know what to think. I want to move and I want to do it pronto. I want to be moving on with my life without this place in the way.
The kids are already fighting over rooms and beds and oh my god I really just want to pack me and my sweetheart up and runaway... but they are our kids so we'll have to deal with it. Hopefully they will all grow up and start acting responsible on their own. .... one can dream....
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Sunday September 28, 2014....
It has been a wonderfully relaxing weekend. We took boy 2 over to see the house hung out with kids watched a movie an got a visit from the twin and his woman. Good times. Today we slept until noon. we have been hanging with the grand son and soon need to get the other daughter from work. Family. It's what it's about.
I have been so happy and relaxed this weekend I hope the week goes good. Dentists appointments this week as well as hearing about the house.
Still wish there was one more day to the weekend though.
The week will bring a whole new insight on things I'm sure. Whether we need to keep looking or just keep packing. I really want the house though. It's so cute. I love the yard... one track mind I know..
So as not to bore the world to death I'll stop right there and let you know what we find out... to be continued.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Saturday September 27, 2014....
Still no word since they said my credit was good and they were working on the numbers. I just want to remove the for sale sign and start moving myself in. I can't wait to finally be out of Limbo. We took boy 2 over today to look at it and he of course loved it. He was in full agreement that we remove the sign. I can't wait...
The day has been delightfully wet but not so delightfully cold. I am freezing and can barely type because my fingers are so cold. Most of that has to do with my thyroid issues but I am still not really looking forward to winter. The long drives in the scary icy snow.... yuck!
I am happy that we are all getting along and everyone seems to be looking forward to moving and being out of here. School seems to have settled well with the kids and they are already on their way to their first time off with UEA.. It will be Christmas before we know it. Tayson will graduate this year which makes me happy because I despise the school district and want out of it's clutches as soon as possible. He also really wants to be working and can't work with Chris or Tom when he's in school all day. Hopefully once he graduates he will be able to get on helping one of them.
I'm antsy to get through this year and on to a new Limbo free year. I'm hoping to make more money next year. I want us to have a good life and I don't want my honey feeling like he is the only one having to support everyone. He always tells me he thinks I'm doing good and I shouldn't worry but I know better. We barely have anything left once our bills are paid and it will be worse once we are having to pay rent as well. We need to get on a budget and stick to it so we can succeed with everything.
My honey was off this past week and yesterday he went to my mothers house and mowed her lawn, edged her lawn, trimmed all her bushes and fixed her cooler. He also took my son out to see his girlfriend, and played at the park in the river with my daughter. When I came home from work she said "I had the best day with this guy" It always makes my day when she is so happy. Boy 2 called him Dad today too... ok he was being a little sarcastic but things just feel so good lately. Don't know if any of us have smiled this much in the last several years.
Still no word since they said my credit was good and they were working on the numbers. I just want to remove the for sale sign and start moving myself in. I can't wait to finally be out of Limbo. We took boy 2 over today to look at it and he of course loved it. He was in full agreement that we remove the sign. I can't wait...
The day has been delightfully wet but not so delightfully cold. I am freezing and can barely type because my fingers are so cold. Most of that has to do with my thyroid issues but I am still not really looking forward to winter. The long drives in the scary icy snow.... yuck!
I am happy that we are all getting along and everyone seems to be looking forward to moving and being out of here. School seems to have settled well with the kids and they are already on their way to their first time off with UEA.. It will be Christmas before we know it. Tayson will graduate this year which makes me happy because I despise the school district and want out of it's clutches as soon as possible. He also really wants to be working and can't work with Chris or Tom when he's in school all day. Hopefully once he graduates he will be able to get on helping one of them.
I'm antsy to get through this year and on to a new Limbo free year. I'm hoping to make more money next year. I want us to have a good life and I don't want my honey feeling like he is the only one having to support everyone. He always tells me he thinks I'm doing good and I shouldn't worry but I know better. We barely have anything left once our bills are paid and it will be worse once we are having to pay rent as well. We need to get on a budget and stick to it so we can succeed with everything.
My honey was off this past week and yesterday he went to my mothers house and mowed her lawn, edged her lawn, trimmed all her bushes and fixed her cooler. He also took my son out to see his girlfriend, and played at the park in the river with my daughter. When I came home from work she said "I had the best day with this guy" It always makes my day when she is so happy. Boy 2 called him Dad today too... ok he was being a little sarcastic but things just feel so good lately. Don't know if any of us have smiled this much in the last several years.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Wednesday September 24, 2014....
Looked at and put in an application for a beautiful 4 bedroom house today. It is rent to own has plenty of room and beautiful new appliances. It's further than I think I really thought we would like but the price isn't bad and I really liked it. Plus we would be renting to own it instead of just renting it.
I'm hopeful but yet don't want to be disappointed if we can't move into that one. I can't help but be excited though it's the first one that seems to be big enough for everyone involved and even close to what we can afford a month.
Maybe things are at least looking more hopeful than I was thinking they were yesterday. Cross fingers and wish luck that we can get into this house or one similar. ....
Looked at and put in an application for a beautiful 4 bedroom house today. It is rent to own has plenty of room and beautiful new appliances. It's further than I think I really thought we would like but the price isn't bad and I really liked it. Plus we would be renting to own it instead of just renting it.
I'm hopeful but yet don't want to be disappointed if we can't move into that one. I can't help but be excited though it's the first one that seems to be big enough for everyone involved and even close to what we can afford a month.
Maybe things are at least looking more hopeful than I was thinking they were yesterday. Cross fingers and wish luck that we can get into this house or one similar. ....
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Tuesday September 23, 2014.....
Well I am not so good about this lately. Blogging takes a computer of which my daughter is always hogging. Between her "shows" and her homework, I don't get to do much but pay bills... anyway here we are the end of September. We have to be out of this house in roughly 7 weeks and we don't even have a lead on a place to live. We need at least 4 bedrooms but 5 would be better. There is nothing we can afford...
I haven't gotten the 401k money from the ex yet, no surprises there I guess except I really thought they would have it figured out since they had the papers and then they dated them all wrong. Wonderful!! That man is such a treat. I'm embarrassed she has to call him her father. I'm just going to call him sperm donor.
Praying and praying it's all I know to do at this point. I'm feeling really useless and wouldn't blame my sweetie if he wanted to bolt because I make crap for money and after today will not be getting another raise until next February it's looking like and I'm never going to get my promotion. Good times there!!!
Why is it that every day there is another challenge I don't know how to get through? I know Pray about it.... God knows how to get through it...just wish he would show me some light so I can see it too.
Well I am not so good about this lately. Blogging takes a computer of which my daughter is always hogging. Between her "shows" and her homework, I don't get to do much but pay bills... anyway here we are the end of September. We have to be out of this house in roughly 7 weeks and we don't even have a lead on a place to live. We need at least 4 bedrooms but 5 would be better. There is nothing we can afford...
I haven't gotten the 401k money from the ex yet, no surprises there I guess except I really thought they would have it figured out since they had the papers and then they dated them all wrong. Wonderful!! That man is such a treat. I'm embarrassed she has to call him her father. I'm just going to call him sperm donor.
Praying and praying it's all I know to do at this point. I'm feeling really useless and wouldn't blame my sweetie if he wanted to bolt because I make crap for money and after today will not be getting another raise until next February it's looking like and I'm never going to get my promotion. Good times there!!!
Why is it that every day there is another challenge I don't know how to get through? I know Pray about it.... God knows how to get through it...just wish he would show me some light so I can see it too.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Wednesday September 17, 2014....
Went to the Specialist today. Wasn't impressed that he will help me. He immediately started saying that he was going to test me for other diseases. I don't want to be treated for other diseases I want to be treated for the disease I already have. Let's start there okay??
Otherwise have a had a pretty good Wednesday. Work goes well and home is good.. except for that not having anywhere to live part. That part is getting a little stressful.
More people came through the house today. A young couple with 3 boys. My honey said "no way with 3 boys in this place?!" Ha Ha welcome to my world. At one time I had 3 boys and a toddler girl. good times. I don't blame people for hating it. I do to.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Tuesday September 16, 2014....
Another day that flew right by me out the door. I am home now and have been relaxing for far too long.. I really should have started getting stuff done by now but I'm distracted.
Things are seeming strange. Can't really put my finger on it, probably just the stress of getting moved and trying to find a place we can afford. I really don't know what is up with rentals these days, if it's just me or what the deal is but 5 houses I have checked on have all gotten the same response with different names and numbers all wanting to know when they can get the deposit.. I'm certainly not stupid enough to send a deposit without seeing the house and seeing a lease and getting that all taken care of. 5 houses.. Not sure how to tell if something is really for rent or not.
Time is ticking away and I'm starting to get stressed about what we are going to do and where we are going to go. I don't know how everything is going to work and it's driving me crazy. Crazy I tell ya!
Fall has begun and the leaves are changing color. I'd really like to go for a drive and check out the canyon but I don't know if we'll get time to do that this year. Maybe next year. Everything has been so up in the air. I can't wait til we are settled and can really start living our lives.
Another day that flew right by me out the door. I am home now and have been relaxing for far too long.. I really should have started getting stuff done by now but I'm distracted.
Things are seeming strange. Can't really put my finger on it, probably just the stress of getting moved and trying to find a place we can afford. I really don't know what is up with rentals these days, if it's just me or what the deal is but 5 houses I have checked on have all gotten the same response with different names and numbers all wanting to know when they can get the deposit.. I'm certainly not stupid enough to send a deposit without seeing the house and seeing a lease and getting that all taken care of. 5 houses.. Not sure how to tell if something is really for rent or not.
Time is ticking away and I'm starting to get stressed about what we are going to do and where we are going to go. I don't know how everything is going to work and it's driving me crazy. Crazy I tell ya!
Fall has begun and the leaves are changing color. I'd really like to go for a drive and check out the canyon but I don't know if we'll get time to do that this year. Maybe next year. Everything has been so up in the air. I can't wait til we are settled and can really start living our lives.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Tuesday September 9, 2014....
Today another end will lead to some other beginning I'm sure. There's a reason for everything, and though I may not see it now, there is a reason I will find later. Friendships don't last forever I suppose...
To happier things the kids seem to be doing well in school and I got boy 2's graduation pics from school back. No cap and gown there, he's sporting his stitch tank top. Gotta love it...
The weather has turned cooler and the leaves have started to change. I love the fall with all the colors and crunching the leaves underfoot as you walk down the sidewalk. The days of course will get shorter and the nights longer. I love Halloween as well. Can't wait to start decorating but really really wish I had a new place already.
My worst fear right now is having to move in 4 ft of snow. Not fun even if the Kern boys are the quickest movers I've seen. We are running out of time. I hope we find something soon.
Today another end will lead to some other beginning I'm sure. There's a reason for everything, and though I may not see it now, there is a reason I will find later. Friendships don't last forever I suppose...
To happier things the kids seem to be doing well in school and I got boy 2's graduation pics from school back. No cap and gown there, he's sporting his stitch tank top. Gotta love it...
The weather has turned cooler and the leaves have started to change. I love the fall with all the colors and crunching the leaves underfoot as you walk down the sidewalk. The days of course will get shorter and the nights longer. I love Halloween as well. Can't wait to start decorating but really really wish I had a new place already.
My worst fear right now is having to move in 4 ft of snow. Not fun even if the Kern boys are the quickest movers I've seen. We are running out of time. I hope we find something soon.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Monday September 1, 2014...
Labor day today. I awoke in my babys arms warm and safe. The sun shining through the window. I get paid to be home today which is always a wonderful feeling. I have to work next Saturday but am hoping and praying either someone will pick up the shift or they offset me tomorrow. So far neither thing has happened.
It's been a blissful weekend. My honey got 4 days off as well as I and we have spent every minute together. I love it. The last husband never wanted to be around me and when I planned a date for us to spend time together he would spend the whole time staring at his clock as though he couldn't wait to be out of my presence. I'm not missing that. Now I am made to feel needed, special, respected, loved. I'm never letting him go.
The kids are back in school and things seem to be going well the first week. Hopefully things will continue to go well. Son two is really liking his new school which allows him to pick his own schedule and has better food.
Haven't heard anything about the 401k yet. Guess the ex really doesn't care if his daughter is sleeping in my van or not. I will get by. God is looking down on us and he's going to make everything all right.
Looking forward to someday soon my life beginning in a whole new wonderful light. Love not having so much stress, well I still have all the same stress but I love that I am not sick over it. I feel like with my honey I can get through anything. It will all work out.
Labor day today. I awoke in my babys arms warm and safe. The sun shining through the window. I get paid to be home today which is always a wonderful feeling. I have to work next Saturday but am hoping and praying either someone will pick up the shift or they offset me tomorrow. So far neither thing has happened.
It's been a blissful weekend. My honey got 4 days off as well as I and we have spent every minute together. I love it. The last husband never wanted to be around me and when I planned a date for us to spend time together he would spend the whole time staring at his clock as though he couldn't wait to be out of my presence. I'm not missing that. Now I am made to feel needed, special, respected, loved. I'm never letting him go.
The kids are back in school and things seem to be going well the first week. Hopefully things will continue to go well. Son two is really liking his new school which allows him to pick his own schedule and has better food.
Haven't heard anything about the 401k yet. Guess the ex really doesn't care if his daughter is sleeping in my van or not. I will get by. God is looking down on us and he's going to make everything all right.
Looking forward to someday soon my life beginning in a whole new wonderful light. Love not having so much stress, well I still have all the same stress but I love that I am not sick over it. I feel like with my honey I can get through anything. It will all work out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Wednesday August 27, 2014....
Back to School week has happened! Daughter has started 4th Grade with her first Male Teacher and she's not real sure he isn't boring. I explained she just had to get to know him. Son one had him and loved him. I'm sure she'll be fine. She needs a lot of brushing up on her math though... I didn't really think about math during the summer. Son 2 started at his new school and seems to like it. He attends from 9 - 2 and goes at his own pace.
Work has been good. Trying to keep things up at work so I can be making more money. Home is peaceful for the most part and although there are still so many unknowns and stresses I don't remember the last time I was so happy.
Strangest thing happened the other day. My boyfriend tells me he can take the kids to my moms house because he's going that way anyway. Then he takes them to my moms the very next day, allowing me to go straight on to work and not be late. I took them today and he was not mad but concerned why I didn't just let him take them. He's so wonderful I just don't even know what to do with myself. I find myself sitting around with a stupid grin on my face because of something he has said or done for me. I could go on and on all the wonderful things he does. Not used to anyone helping me get kids around. That will be something I still need to work on.
I don't think either husbands ever volunteered to pick my kids up or get them to the babysitter until we weren't together anymore and they had to.
He's wonderful I tell you.
Fall has come sneaking in on me. First it was that blasted tree changing colors in the middle of July. Then it was the rainstorms blasting through with cooler temps. I don't quite smell Halloween but I am starting to feel it prickling at my neck. It is the season of my favorite Holiday. Halloween. I also enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas although I don't enjoy Winter. I'm always freezing anyway but that much more in the winter, not too mention having to drive on the ice packed sludge roads while a million more people are trying to go past me way too fast.. the stress.. we all know how it is and I don't know many people who like driving on winter roads.
Feeling like I should go make some sort of dinner for my kids. I am a mother after all :)
Back to School week has happened! Daughter has started 4th Grade with her first Male Teacher and she's not real sure he isn't boring. I explained she just had to get to know him. Son one had him and loved him. I'm sure she'll be fine. She needs a lot of brushing up on her math though... I didn't really think about math during the summer. Son 2 started at his new school and seems to like it. He attends from 9 - 2 and goes at his own pace.
Work has been good. Trying to keep things up at work so I can be making more money. Home is peaceful for the most part and although there are still so many unknowns and stresses I don't remember the last time I was so happy.
Strangest thing happened the other day. My boyfriend tells me he can take the kids to my moms house because he's going that way anyway. Then he takes them to my moms the very next day, allowing me to go straight on to work and not be late. I took them today and he was not mad but concerned why I didn't just let him take them. He's so wonderful I just don't even know what to do with myself. I find myself sitting around with a stupid grin on my face because of something he has said or done for me. I could go on and on all the wonderful things he does. Not used to anyone helping me get kids around. That will be something I still need to work on.
I don't think either husbands ever volunteered to pick my kids up or get them to the babysitter until we weren't together anymore and they had to.
He's wonderful I tell you.
Fall has come sneaking in on me. First it was that blasted tree changing colors in the middle of July. Then it was the rainstorms blasting through with cooler temps. I don't quite smell Halloween but I am starting to feel it prickling at my neck. It is the season of my favorite Holiday. Halloween. I also enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas although I don't enjoy Winter. I'm always freezing anyway but that much more in the winter, not too mention having to drive on the ice packed sludge roads while a million more people are trying to go past me way too fast.. the stress.. we all know how it is and I don't know many people who like driving on winter roads.
Feeling like I should go make some sort of dinner for my kids. I am a mother after all :)
Friday, August 22, 2014
Friday August 22, 2014....
Hanging out at home doing some cleaning. People coming through the house in the morning. Used to have set plans on Friday but now, well without Sister/friend and her family I really never have plans. It's ok I suppose. I still don't know what I've done. I still feel I have a right to know what I've done. She has her reasons. I have no idea what they are but she has a right to them I suppose. I'm pretty much needing to just concentrate on my life.
Fall has made a very sudden arrival, a lot sooner than I had hoped. The greens and fading to yellow and leaves long tinted with gold are turning orange and red, drying in the dying afternoon sun, and falling to the ground. Soon I'll be spending most of my time keeping the leaves cleaned up but it is always nice out in the crisp autumn air.
I always ruin the season by my solid hatred of winter snow. It's not that I hate winter, or even snow for that matter. I just hate risking my life to get back and forth across the city at the break of dawn in the freezing cold with a foot of slush on the roads and traffic backed up for hours. Even leaving early just means it's less cleaned up. I hate it. I'm already pining for spring and summer and hoping things will just hurry up.
This year has been the best year I have had in quite some time. I hope that they just keep getting better.
Hanging out at home doing some cleaning. People coming through the house in the morning. Used to have set plans on Friday but now, well without Sister/friend and her family I really never have plans. It's ok I suppose. I still don't know what I've done. I still feel I have a right to know what I've done. She has her reasons. I have no idea what they are but she has a right to them I suppose. I'm pretty much needing to just concentrate on my life.
Fall has made a very sudden arrival, a lot sooner than I had hoped. The greens and fading to yellow and leaves long tinted with gold are turning orange and red, drying in the dying afternoon sun, and falling to the ground. Soon I'll be spending most of my time keeping the leaves cleaned up but it is always nice out in the crisp autumn air.
I always ruin the season by my solid hatred of winter snow. It's not that I hate winter, or even snow for that matter. I just hate risking my life to get back and forth across the city at the break of dawn in the freezing cold with a foot of slush on the roads and traffic backed up for hours. Even leaving early just means it's less cleaned up. I hate it. I'm already pining for spring and summer and hoping things will just hurry up.
This year has been the best year I have had in quite some time. I hope that they just keep getting better.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Wednesday August 20, 2014...
Today was a Wednesday for sure. Long and boring. The power went out at work and we were on generator power all day. It was nice the lights were down low there was some fun in the environment. I was backup so I took a couple sup calls and hung out. We had a potluck that went over ok and finally I was off.
The weather has cooled a bit and the leaves are changing color. Not looking forward to raking leaves. Guess it won't be too bad. I do it every year. What I'm really not looking forward to truth be told is the snow. Winter, the treacherous roads at 6:00 am. Having to get up hours early to just get to work on time. ... Winter how I dread you...
Life is going ok for now and I'm sure drama will rear it's head any moment. I am trying to live a less stressed and happier life. So far so good.
Today was a Wednesday for sure. Long and boring. The power went out at work and we were on generator power all day. It was nice the lights were down low there was some fun in the environment. I was backup so I took a couple sup calls and hung out. We had a potluck that went over ok and finally I was off.
The weather has cooled a bit and the leaves are changing color. Not looking forward to raking leaves. Guess it won't be too bad. I do it every year. What I'm really not looking forward to truth be told is the snow. Winter, the treacherous roads at 6:00 am. Having to get up hours early to just get to work on time. ... Winter how I dread you...
Life is going ok for now and I'm sure drama will rear it's head any moment. I am trying to live a less stressed and happier life. So far so good.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Wednesday August 13, 2014...
I'm gonna gush a lot about my man today. I was having the most long blah day and I check my phone on break to find he has texted me one simple sentence. "I'm so happy to have you in my life..."
It made me smile the rest of the workday and I was still smiling when I left the parking lot. I have been smiling since I've been home and of course thinking about him. He makes me happy and I'm reminded of the saying "It's the small things that make us happiest..." One sentence..
I'm intrigued with how he never makes promises. He comes home from working a 12 hour shift and cleans the bathroom or completely takes care of the yard, mowing and trimming included. He makes me dinner or does the dishes. I never have to ask him to help with anything. He just does it. He never gets mad at me either. Not for anything. He doesn't make fun of me for being sick and he doesn't care if I sit there doing nothing while he cleans. He doesn't just sit there promising to do it and then do nothing. I don't even know what to think. I do know that I never want to lose him.
I know I am so happy that most of the time there is a smile on my face. I don't know about when I'm sleeping but I could maybe ask. I feel stressed about some things, the house situation, money situation..but at the same time I feel like everything is finally right in my life. I am not going crazy freaking out with stress.
God will lead the way for us and we will have the things we need in life. We are finally on the right path and I can't wait to see what is in store for us. Glad to finally have some idea of a future.
I'm gonna gush a lot about my man today. I was having the most long blah day and I check my phone on break to find he has texted me one simple sentence. "I'm so happy to have you in my life..."
It made me smile the rest of the workday and I was still smiling when I left the parking lot. I have been smiling since I've been home and of course thinking about him. He makes me happy and I'm reminded of the saying "It's the small things that make us happiest..." One sentence..
I'm intrigued with how he never makes promises. He comes home from working a 12 hour shift and cleans the bathroom or completely takes care of the yard, mowing and trimming included. He makes me dinner or does the dishes. I never have to ask him to help with anything. He just does it. He never gets mad at me either. Not for anything. He doesn't make fun of me for being sick and he doesn't care if I sit there doing nothing while he cleans. He doesn't just sit there promising to do it and then do nothing. I don't even know what to think. I do know that I never want to lose him.
I know I am so happy that most of the time there is a smile on my face. I don't know about when I'm sleeping but I could maybe ask. I feel stressed about some things, the house situation, money situation..but at the same time I feel like everything is finally right in my life. I am not going crazy freaking out with stress.
God will lead the way for us and we will have the things we need in life. We are finally on the right path and I can't wait to see what is in store for us. Glad to finally have some idea of a future.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Tuesday August 12, 2014...
It's been a long slow day today. Not much going on at work. Came home and have gotten a few things done. Dinner is at least going and I washed a sink load of dishes and started laundry.
It's cloudy today. We are supposed to get a lot of rain this week. Flash flood warnings are in effect. Looks like fall is right around the corner regardless of what I want. I really wanted to be moved by now. I really did.
Things are good around here. The yard is looking great thanks to my man, the house is clean the kids will all be home soon and things will be back to business. I wanted to get them on schedules while living in our new place. oh man....
Hope we can find a place. I'm starting to get worried. I don't know what we are supposed to do if we can't find a place. I'll keep looking but we may have to downgrade to 3 bdrm and hope for a family room or den to make a 5th. I guess things are always rocky at first. That's how you get to all the good stuff.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Sunday August 10, 2014.....
The summer has gone so fast. The kids are back at school in a couple weeks and Son 2 is going to a different school this year. I don't know how it's gonna work and how he's gonna get his license but hopefully they can help him with that this year before he graduates. Daughter is going into 5th grade and is getting excited although she has been at her Dad's house the last couple weeks and now wants to have more time at home ....
We have been getting more crap taken out to the front for the neighborhood clean up. I'm glad they have those, it's made it nice to get rid of some stuff. If they don't clean it up tomorrow I'll be able to get even more out. We are still waiting on the money from the divorce to get a place. I don't know how else we will come up with first and last months rent at once. I need a better job. Or another job... something.
I'll keep praying that we can get a place soon because I think it would do us a world of good to get moved into our own place and start our life without the intrusion in it. Can't wait to have a lifetime with my man because he is wonderful. He works so hard for me. I'm proud to call myself his girlfriend and love him very much. Never thought it would happen for me but here he is. God is good.
The summer has gone so fast. The kids are back at school in a couple weeks and Son 2 is going to a different school this year. I don't know how it's gonna work and how he's gonna get his license but hopefully they can help him with that this year before he graduates. Daughter is going into 5th grade and is getting excited although she has been at her Dad's house the last couple weeks and now wants to have more time at home ....
We have been getting more crap taken out to the front for the neighborhood clean up. I'm glad they have those, it's made it nice to get rid of some stuff. If they don't clean it up tomorrow I'll be able to get even more out. We are still waiting on the money from the divorce to get a place. I don't know how else we will come up with first and last months rent at once. I need a better job. Or another job... something.
I'll keep praying that we can get a place soon because I think it would do us a world of good to get moved into our own place and start our life without the intrusion in it. Can't wait to have a lifetime with my man because he is wonderful. He works so hard for me. I'm proud to call myself his girlfriend and love him very much. Never thought it would happen for me but here he is. God is good.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Thursday August 7, 2014....
I hate that you get paid only to turn all of your money over to your bills. Hi money... Bye money.... Now what to do til next pay check? I can't live like this much longer. I need a second job. anyone know someone hiring for really flexible hours in the evenings? let me know....
Dr. visit was just for blood so we'll see if they change my meds again. Having a Thyroid Disease really sucks. I am used to it but it still really sucks and I'm tired of being sick all the time. I just want to make it through a week without puking or having diarrhea.
The sun is shining and the temperatures aren't too bad today. I really don't feel like cooking so it's leftovers or going out. I think I want to go out. hmmm decisions... decisions.....
I hate that you get paid only to turn all of your money over to your bills. Hi money... Bye money.... Now what to do til next pay check? I can't live like this much longer. I need a second job. anyone know someone hiring for really flexible hours in the evenings? let me know....
Dr. visit was just for blood so we'll see if they change my meds again. Having a Thyroid Disease really sucks. I am used to it but it still really sucks and I'm tired of being sick all the time. I just want to make it through a week without puking or having diarrhea.
The sun is shining and the temperatures aren't too bad today. I really don't feel like cooking so it's leftovers or going out. I think I want to go out. hmmm decisions... decisions.....
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Tuesday August 5, 2014....
I'm in denial that it is already August. I can't believe the summer is almost over and we haven't even been to the Zoo. We haven't been to Lagoon, or even done very many BBQ's although I feel like I've had more than I normally did. I don't want them going back to school yet. BOO!!
There I'm done. The rain was magnificent today, beating so hard on the metal roof of my work that you couldn't even tell it was rain. A co-worker had to point out that it was raining and motion to the window for me to look. It was awesome!! Awesome I tell you...
I was hoping to come home and veg today but I don't know if it's gonna happen or not. I don't want to cook, we can have left overs.. I just don't want to clean... hmmm I don't think it's gonna work. I'll probably have to pull weeds or do laundry or dishes or something. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrr
gghhh the troubles of being an adult.
Didn't get to see much sun today but I am just noticing a bright blue slice of sky through the clouds that are starting to dissipate. Just enough to maybe have a nice sunset tonight.
I'm in denial that it is already August. I can't believe the summer is almost over and we haven't even been to the Zoo. We haven't been to Lagoon, or even done very many BBQ's although I feel like I've had more than I normally did. I don't want them going back to school yet. BOO!!
There I'm done. The rain was magnificent today, beating so hard on the metal roof of my work that you couldn't even tell it was rain. A co-worker had to point out that it was raining and motion to the window for me to look. It was awesome!! Awesome I tell you...
I was hoping to come home and veg today but I don't know if it's gonna happen or not. I don't want to cook, we can have left overs.. I just don't want to clean... hmmm I don't think it's gonna work. I'll probably have to pull weeds or do laundry or dishes or something. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrr
gghhh the troubles of being an adult.
Didn't get to see much sun today but I am just noticing a bright blue slice of sky through the clouds that are starting to dissipate. Just enough to maybe have a nice sunset tonight.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Monday August 4, 2014....
Still nothing from the courts and only a bill from the lawyer. How am I supposed to find a place and get moved without my money from that 401k? How am I supposed to pay him more money? I don't know what to do..
However the sun is shining through breaks in the soggy gray clouds. There will be a rainbow at the end of the storm. Hopefully it will leave the air smelling cleaner.
Work was there and then it was gone. I found out that I may have been responsible for someone being suspended for the last week. Never meant for that to happen just doing my job. Hope everything works out for him because I really liked him he's a good team mate. Otherwise things seem to be looking up for me. Maybe I'll try not to jinx it, but I will backing up next week. I had a really good score this month which should put me at the top of my game again soon.
I really need to gain a different and more positive attitude at work. I need more money and it would be great if I could get that from the company I already work for.
My supervisor really makes me want to do better. Be better. Be stronger. She's quite strong herself. I wasn't sure at first but I think I like her. She's way younger than me but I could be friends with her.
As far as home life it's like a dream. Son 1 is still only talking to me when he wants something. Son 2 is out of town but of course wants me to go and enroll him at a new school that will make it so I have to drive to that area twice a day. No biggie I'm a billionaire......
Daughter will be going into 5th grade. When did she get so big? She keeps growing too and is always having growing pains. She'll be towering over me soon enough. Blink and we miss it. They've grown and they hate us. Hope it all works out.
My love is wonderful and keeps me very happy. Can't say there hasn't been compromises already but things are new still there will be plenty more to come. I try to stay supportive and loving since that is how he is with me.
My happiest moment will be when my son finally accepts things and comes back to being my son. I miss him very much.
Listening to some tunes and can't stop dancing. Been listening to a lot more music lately as it's my sweethearts passion. I don't mind Im just used to different things. T.V doesn't allow you to have the noise without the picture and sometimes all you need is the background.
Dancing has got to be good for the soul....
Still nothing from the courts and only a bill from the lawyer. How am I supposed to find a place and get moved without my money from that 401k? How am I supposed to pay him more money? I don't know what to do..
However the sun is shining through breaks in the soggy gray clouds. There will be a rainbow at the end of the storm. Hopefully it will leave the air smelling cleaner.
Work was there and then it was gone. I found out that I may have been responsible for someone being suspended for the last week. Never meant for that to happen just doing my job. Hope everything works out for him because I really liked him he's a good team mate. Otherwise things seem to be looking up for me. Maybe I'll try not to jinx it, but I will backing up next week. I had a really good score this month which should put me at the top of my game again soon.
I really need to gain a different and more positive attitude at work. I need more money and it would be great if I could get that from the company I already work for.
My supervisor really makes me want to do better. Be better. Be stronger. She's quite strong herself. I wasn't sure at first but I think I like her. She's way younger than me but I could be friends with her.
As far as home life it's like a dream. Son 1 is still only talking to me when he wants something. Son 2 is out of town but of course wants me to go and enroll him at a new school that will make it so I have to drive to that area twice a day. No biggie I'm a billionaire......
Daughter will be going into 5th grade. When did she get so big? She keeps growing too and is always having growing pains. She'll be towering over me soon enough. Blink and we miss it. They've grown and they hate us. Hope it all works out.
My love is wonderful and keeps me very happy. Can't say there hasn't been compromises already but things are new still there will be plenty more to come. I try to stay supportive and loving since that is how he is with me.
My happiest moment will be when my son finally accepts things and comes back to being my son. I miss him very much.
Listening to some tunes and can't stop dancing. Been listening to a lot more music lately as it's my sweethearts passion. I don't mind Im just used to different things. T.V doesn't allow you to have the noise without the picture and sometimes all you need is the background.
Dancing has got to be good for the soul....
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Thursday July 31, 2014.........
Such a nice day at work. So busy it flew by and the meeting with the President went smoothly and they were gone. They loved us as usual. He said they are raising the pay scales this year so hopefully we will get better raises.
We are going camping this weekend and it's so much work I wish I could hire someone to pack for me. ha ha I know lazy right. It should be fun once we get there. Everyone will get to meet my honey and he can meet my crazy family.
Jazmin is also home this weekend with us which is cool because she was with me last weekend as well. Guess I better get back to the packing and arranging the car so we can fit everyone. ugh....
Such a nice day at work. So busy it flew by and the meeting with the President went smoothly and they were gone. They loved us as usual. He said they are raising the pay scales this year so hopefully we will get better raises.
We are going camping this weekend and it's so much work I wish I could hire someone to pack for me. ha ha I know lazy right. It should be fun once we get there. Everyone will get to meet my honey and he can meet my crazy family.
Jazmin is also home this weekend with us which is cool because she was with me last weekend as well. Guess I better get back to the packing and arranging the car so we can fit everyone. ugh....
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Wednesday July 30, 2014....
Hump day is really not my cup of tea. It always seems to be twice it's normal length which is already way too long to me. My daughter is staying with her Dad for his visit. Son 2 is in Oregon staying with his Dad. Son 1 isn't speaking to me and is a grown man anyway. It's quiet. Blessed quiet.
We are going camping this weekend and I have not gotten anything ready or even know how I'm paying for the trip. Good times. Wish I made a lot more money. Two jobs maybe? ... hmmm we'll see.
My supervisor is going to be out of town for another week and I'll be backing up for her again. She has to go back for more biopsies because she is not in remission anymore. I'll probably be backing up a lot more while she's getting her treatments. I hope it's giving me experience that I can use while applying for another position because I tell you I need to make more money.
I have been so happy lately that all the daily stresses and things piled on me by others have just not been as bad as they used to be. They seem to roll off me easier and I see the situation then start looking for a solution rather than stressing about it. I think I'm at that part of my life that I have decided to live for me rather than for everyone else. I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy. If you don't like it be on your way.
Hump day is really not my cup of tea. It always seems to be twice it's normal length which is already way too long to me. My daughter is staying with her Dad for his visit. Son 2 is in Oregon staying with his Dad. Son 1 isn't speaking to me and is a grown man anyway. It's quiet. Blessed quiet.
We are going camping this weekend and I have not gotten anything ready or even know how I'm paying for the trip. Good times. Wish I made a lot more money. Two jobs maybe? ... hmmm we'll see.
My supervisor is going to be out of town for another week and I'll be backing up for her again. She has to go back for more biopsies because she is not in remission anymore. I'll probably be backing up a lot more while she's getting her treatments. I hope it's giving me experience that I can use while applying for another position because I tell you I need to make more money.
I have been so happy lately that all the daily stresses and things piled on me by others have just not been as bad as they used to be. They seem to roll off me easier and I see the situation then start looking for a solution rather than stressing about it. I think I'm at that part of my life that I have decided to live for me rather than for everyone else. I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy. If you don't like it be on your way.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Monday July 28th, 2014....
And it begins. The ex is wanting the daughter for the rest of the summer. She told him she was excited to go visit. Nothing I can do to
keep her here if she doesn't want to be here. First time she has ever told him she wanted to go. Makes a person wonder....
At least she is older and can let me know if anything is going on that shouldn't be otherwise she'll just have to deal with him never being there, leaving her sitting at strangers houses to be babysat and basically ignoring and neglecting her. Good times.
God I can't wait until it's over and they are all 18. I can't wait until I don't have to be responsible for all this. They can see him or not their choice. I am praying for a lot of things to be over lately. Like I would really like to get my money and get out of here so that nightmare is over. I would really like boy 1 to either jump on board and be happy for me or get his place and take responsibility for himself. I would really like boy 2 to graduate so I can stop worrying about him as well.
I really wish that Jazmin's Dad would just disappear because he is not a good Dad. I don't know if I can deal with him for another 8 + years. I would rather he leave without a trace than be in her life. He does it to be spiteful and we all know it. He was a horrible Dad to Zack yet Zack still goes to see him I don't get it....
And it begins. The ex is wanting the daughter for the rest of the summer. She told him she was excited to go visit. Nothing I can do to
keep her here if she doesn't want to be here. First time she has ever told him she wanted to go. Makes a person wonder....
At least she is older and can let me know if anything is going on that shouldn't be otherwise she'll just have to deal with him never being there, leaving her sitting at strangers houses to be babysat and basically ignoring and neglecting her. Good times.
God I can't wait until it's over and they are all 18. I can't wait until I don't have to be responsible for all this. They can see him or not their choice. I am praying for a lot of things to be over lately. Like I would really like to get my money and get out of here so that nightmare is over. I would really like boy 1 to either jump on board and be happy for me or get his place and take responsibility for himself. I would really like boy 2 to graduate so I can stop worrying about him as well.
I really wish that Jazmin's Dad would just disappear because he is not a good Dad. I don't know if I can deal with him for another 8 + years. I would rather he leave without a trace than be in her life. He does it to be spiteful and we all know it. He was a horrible Dad to Zack yet Zack still goes to see him I don't get it....
Saturday, July 26, 2014
July 26, 2014.....
I have been having a perfectly wonderful Birthday weekend. Worked on Thursday and then came home to the most wonderful sight, My man doing crafts with my daughter. Man I love him. She was all smiles showing me what they were doing.
We had a BBQ and watched the neighbors fine display of fireworks and even though I worked I had such a wonderful time when I got home it was like having the whole day off. The sun was shining and we had a water balloon fight with Jazmin and her friends.
Friday we went to the park and had a picnic then went and visited a few people. We went to another park and the kids had a really good time. I was beat from all the heat but had another wonderful day. Today My man changed out my brakes, we ran some errands and went to lunch then came home and all of us took a nap. Him and my daughter are currently out shopping for my Birthday... or they are out getting drinks. I told him I only wanted him for my Birthday and he said I already have him so I told him I don't want or need anything. I'll hope he's just out getting drinks.
Other than still not having a place to move my life is pretty perfect right now. I may not have much of anything but I feel right now as though there is nothing I could possibly need. I'm leaving everything to God. He's got my back and so far things are going great.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Tuesday July 22, 2014.....
Happy Birthday shout out to my brother who I'm sure would never read this so I'll call instead. Hoping his day was at least good. My workday went fast , I have been home gotten gas & groceries and started laundry. I also changed my clothes and started dinner.
My daughter should be home tonight if all goes well. I miss her. I haven't seen her for 4 days. It's the longest I've ever been away from her. Strange how much I miss her.....
Need to keep looking for a place to live and also a second job. I need to at least be able to cover a portion of the rent. I don't know what I'll do to keep everything going and work two jobs but people do it all the time right? My man keeps saying he's got it and we can do this together but I guess I'm still in the mode that says I have to do it myself because who else can I trust?
Other than that and praying the house will sell, my life has been pretty good lately. My house is clean because he never stops cleaning. He appreciates me cooking and cleaning and I find that I enjoy spending time together no matter what we are doing or who we are with. I just like being with him. He makes me feel well.. sounds cliché, but he makes me feel complete.
Wish everyone else would jump on board.
Happy Birthday shout out to my brother who I'm sure would never read this so I'll call instead. Hoping his day was at least good. My workday went fast , I have been home gotten gas & groceries and started laundry. I also changed my clothes and started dinner.
My daughter should be home tonight if all goes well. I miss her. I haven't seen her for 4 days. It's the longest I've ever been away from her. Strange how much I miss her.....
Need to keep looking for a place to live and also a second job. I need to at least be able to cover a portion of the rent. I don't know what I'll do to keep everything going and work two jobs but people do it all the time right? My man keeps saying he's got it and we can do this together but I guess I'm still in the mode that says I have to do it myself because who else can I trust?
Other than that and praying the house will sell, my life has been pretty good lately. My house is clean because he never stops cleaning. He appreciates me cooking and cleaning and I find that I enjoy spending time together no matter what we are doing or who we are with. I just like being with him. He makes me feel well.. sounds cliché, but he makes me feel complete.
Wish everyone else would jump on board.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Monday July 21, 2014.....
Doing the back up supervisor gig at my work this week. I know sounds all important and wonderful doesn't it? No so much. It mainly means that I get to take all the Sup calls from all the self absorbed idiots of the world who think it matters if there or is or isn't a period after an abbr. I tell you all here and now, NO IT DOES NOT MATTER. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT IF THERE IS A PERIOD AT THE END OF THE ABBREVIATION. WE ARE NOT REQUIRED BY LAW TO PUT IT THERE.
Thank you feels good to get that out. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and my man is home from work.... Happy Monday.
Doing the back up supervisor gig at my work this week. I know sounds all important and wonderful doesn't it? No so much. It mainly means that I get to take all the Sup calls from all the self absorbed idiots of the world who think it matters if there or is or isn't a period after an abbr. I tell you all here and now, NO IT DOES NOT MATTER. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT IF THERE IS A PERIOD AT THE END OF THE ABBREVIATION. WE ARE NOT REQUIRED BY LAW TO PUT IT THERE.
Thank you feels good to get that out. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and my man is home from work.... Happy Monday.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Saturday July 19, 2014....
Nothing on the house yet. We thought we may have a buyer but haven't heard anything all week. Nobody has been through either which is kindof worrying me, not that I like the constant interruption in my life.
Haven't heard anything on papers and nothing about the 401k. I don't know what is going on but don't want my lawyer racking anymore money on the bill so I refuse to call and see. Almost everything I own is being packed and drug out to the disgusting garage. yay. I guess it does look better for people coming through the house but I really didn't want everything we own out in the garage. Oh well moving on....
Life is good but stressful. I haven't found anything for rent that I can even begin to afford and I have no idea what job to get in the evenings that will pay enough to cover rent. I'm pretty much at a loss. The days just go on and I'm still stuck in limbo. Can't wait until we are actually homeless and it is all truly over with. Then and only then I will figure out which path I'm supposed to take.
I wish I could explain to certain people why I don't want their money, why I want to pay for everything yourself. I've been called a money grabbing bitch for so long I really do not ever want that being said about me again. I need to be able to support myself. what to do.... what to do....
Nothing on the house yet. We thought we may have a buyer but haven't heard anything all week. Nobody has been through either which is kindof worrying me, not that I like the constant interruption in my life.
Haven't heard anything on papers and nothing about the 401k. I don't know what is going on but don't want my lawyer racking anymore money on the bill so I refuse to call and see. Almost everything I own is being packed and drug out to the disgusting garage. yay. I guess it does look better for people coming through the house but I really didn't want everything we own out in the garage. Oh well moving on....
Life is good but stressful. I haven't found anything for rent that I can even begin to afford and I have no idea what job to get in the evenings that will pay enough to cover rent. I'm pretty much at a loss. The days just go on and I'm still stuck in limbo. Can't wait until we are actually homeless and it is all truly over with. Then and only then I will figure out which path I'm supposed to take.
I wish I could explain to certain people why I don't want their money, why I want to pay for everything yourself. I've been called a money grabbing bitch for so long I really do not ever want that being said about me again. I need to be able to support myself. what to do.... what to do....
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Wednesday July 16, 2014.....
Taking son 2 to the airport for his month long visit in Oregon with his dad. I tell ya I sure do miss him when he's gone. No idea how you get used to this but I know it will be over soon and he'll be back. Hope he has a good time with his Dad.
My life still going great. Nothing on the house yet. No idea where we are going still homeless? perhaps... things could be worse though. I could live with the ex still..
Can't believe it's already the middle of July. Time sure flies when you are having fun. I almost wish I could fast forward though and get through the rest of the crap. Can't wait to be done with the house and moved and past the stress of what to do? What to do?
My new boyfriend doesn't let me stress too much which is nice but still it's always there in my head... Still looking for a better paying job or a second job. Once I can support myself I will be much less stressed!!!
Taking son 2 to the airport for his month long visit in Oregon with his dad. I tell ya I sure do miss him when he's gone. No idea how you get used to this but I know it will be over soon and he'll be back. Hope he has a good time with his Dad.
My life still going great. Nothing on the house yet. No idea where we are going still homeless? perhaps... things could be worse though. I could live with the ex still..
Can't believe it's already the middle of July. Time sure flies when you are having fun. I almost wish I could fast forward though and get through the rest of the crap. Can't wait to be done with the house and moved and past the stress of what to do? What to do?
My new boyfriend doesn't let me stress too much which is nice but still it's always there in my head... Still looking for a better paying job or a second job. Once I can support myself I will be much less stressed!!!
Monday, July 14, 2014
Monday July 14th, 2014.....
Another Monday night upon us. I don't really mind Mondays for the most part they always go fast at work. I have tomorrow off because I have to work on Saturday this week.
It is a hot summer today and we have the cooler and all available fans going. downstairs is definitely better than upstairs. I can't wait until we can find a bigger place.
No offers have been placed yet and it's been a few days since anyone has looked at it. I don't know what's going on. He is gonna have to stop paying the mortgage so it can go into short sale. I don't know what else to tell him.
My new life is so far going really well. I don't know where we are going with it but I know that this man takes care of me very well. I smile when he walks in a room, he cleans, he cooks, he's good with the kids, the ones who let him anyway. He works on my car and makes everything around me better. He does things for me without wanting anything in return. Can you imagine? He hasn't once called me names or screamed at me. I may be dreaming. Everyday he takes better and better care of me and I know he loves me even if he doesn't tell me (which he does) The difference of being a man of action and well... not a man...
Another Monday night upon us. I don't really mind Mondays for the most part they always go fast at work. I have tomorrow off because I have to work on Saturday this week.
It is a hot summer today and we have the cooler and all available fans going. downstairs is definitely better than upstairs. I can't wait until we can find a bigger place.
No offers have been placed yet and it's been a few days since anyone has looked at it. I don't know what's going on. He is gonna have to stop paying the mortgage so it can go into short sale. I don't know what else to tell him.
My new life is so far going really well. I don't know where we are going with it but I know that this man takes care of me very well. I smile when he walks in a room, he cleans, he cooks, he's good with the kids, the ones who let him anyway. He works on my car and makes everything around me better. He does things for me without wanting anything in return. Can you imagine? He hasn't once called me names or screamed at me. I may be dreaming. Everyday he takes better and better care of me and I know he loves me even if he doesn't tell me (which he does) The difference of being a man of action and well... not a man...
Friday, July 11, 2014
July 11, 2014.....
Friday finally!!! Loved today because my honey visited me at work. It was such a nice surprise and made my whole day..
Other than the heat the day has been wonderful. We are getting ready to go to Chuck E. Cheese with the kids. It gives me a headache but the kids really like it so that makes it all worthwhile. I really like that we are making memories together and I am so happy.
Friday finally!!! Loved today because my honey visited me at work. It was such a nice surprise and made my whole day..
Other than the heat the day has been wonderful. We are getting ready to go to Chuck E. Cheese with the kids. It gives me a headache but the kids really like it so that makes it all worthwhile. I really like that we are making memories together and I am so happy.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Sunday July 6, 20014.....
The long weekend is over, I could cry.. Whaaaa! ok the whining is over. It's been a wonderful weekend that I wouldn't change a thing about. I have been smiling and happy all weekend we haven't had many interruptions and the company I keep these days is wonderful.
My boyfriend is wonderful plain and simple. He doesn't sit on the couch saying "Honey, I promise I'll do those dishes and take out the garbage". No he doesn't say a thing he just cleans out the fridge, vacuums, dusts, scrubs whatever... oh my I don't even know what to think about it. He shows me every day that he loves me and I am so grateful to have him in my life there are no words.
The long weekend is over, I could cry.. Whaaaa! ok the whining is over. It's been a wonderful weekend that I wouldn't change a thing about. I have been smiling and happy all weekend we haven't had many interruptions and the company I keep these days is wonderful.
My boyfriend is wonderful plain and simple. He doesn't sit on the couch saying "Honey, I promise I'll do those dishes and take out the garbage". No he doesn't say a thing he just cleans out the fridge, vacuums, dusts, scrubs whatever... oh my I don't even know what to think about it. He shows me every day that he loves me and I am so grateful to have him in my life there are no words.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Friday July 4th, 2014.....
Independence Day!!! I love the BBQ's and hanging out with family and friends. I don't so much like the fireworks everyone does in the streets all over town but the big boomers at the park are cool. I don't like fighting the crowds though and we don't have Jazmin this weekend so we are just hanging out here relaxing. We have been to a BBQ already and I was so hot. It is most certainly July.
Things are going good with me. The kids are doing good too except Son 1 is still struggling with something. Son 2 is going for a month to see his Dad in Oregon. He leaves on the 16th and returns on like the 18th or something of August.
Work is work but I need a better paying job. I really need to get out of here and get on my own. I hate being here still. We have no privacy and people are always coming through the house. Rusty is starting his drama and I'm sure that is not going to stop anytime soon because he is jealous and I'm sure the regret is rocking him pretty hard right now. Not my problem, I'm done caring what he is doing. I have my own life that is so much more peaceful and wonderful than I thought I would ever find.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Thursday July 3, 2014.....
Off work and happy to be home. The start of a Holiday week. Three days off with my honey. Now if only there weren't going to be people here irritating us all day. Three different people coming through to see the house they don't want. I'm so tired of having no privacy, no solitude, and no warning when these people just show up. I know it's only a minute they are here but it's still a very large inconvenience. I don't think I ever want to be in this spot selling a house again. I hate it!!!!
I can't wait until it is over. I can't wait until he no longer has anything to do with my life my future or even knowing anything about me and what goes on with me. I really wish he had disappeared like he kept promising to do.
I am so happy starting my new life with my man. He is kind and sweet and considerate. He is respectful and loving. He always thinks about me and what he can do for me. I love him so much.
Off work and happy to be home. The start of a Holiday week. Three days off with my honey. Now if only there weren't going to be people here irritating us all day. Three different people coming through to see the house they don't want. I'm so tired of having no privacy, no solitude, and no warning when these people just show up. I know it's only a minute they are here but it's still a very large inconvenience. I don't think I ever want to be in this spot selling a house again. I hate it!!!!
I can't wait until it is over. I can't wait until he no longer has anything to do with my life my future or even knowing anything about me and what goes on with me. I really wish he had disappeared like he kept promising to do.
I am so happy starting my new life with my man. He is kind and sweet and considerate. He is respectful and loving. He always thinks about me and what he can do for me. I love him so much.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Wednesday July 2, 2014....
Glad work is over today!! Come home to a fresh set of stresses but I have chosen to be happy so vented those stresses to my sweetheart who is wonderful and listens to me whine like a champ, and we have since had a lovely evening.
I swear I could get used to this happiness thing. No drama no fighting nobody calling me names and treating me like crap. Wow! Who knew!
I didn't know love could be like this. I thought I had loved Terry a great deal but this is something different and more wonderful than even that.
I never knew but I'm grateful that I have finally found someone I can trust with my heart. It's a wonderful feeling.
Glad work is over today!! Come home to a fresh set of stresses but I have chosen to be happy so vented those stresses to my sweetheart who is wonderful and listens to me whine like a champ, and we have since had a lovely evening.
I swear I could get used to this happiness thing. No drama no fighting nobody calling me names and treating me like crap. Wow! Who knew!
I didn't know love could be like this. I thought I had loved Terry a great deal but this is something different and more wonderful than even that.
I never knew but I'm grateful that I have finally found someone I can trust with my heart. It's a wonderful feeling.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Tuesday July 1, 2014...
July already!! What a wonderful day! Work was a breeze and just flew right by. Home has been more work than I had anticipated today but nothing I couldn't handle. Especially with the help of my man.
Things are going good except we are still homeless. Nothing has gotten here as far as the money or the paperwork, oh well. He'll get it here eventually.
I am so happy lately. Every day is just better and better than the day before. It feels so good....
July already!! What a wonderful day! Work was a breeze and just flew right by. Home has been more work than I had anticipated today but nothing I couldn't handle. Especially with the help of my man.
Things are going good except we are still homeless. Nothing has gotten here as far as the money or the paperwork, oh well. He'll get it here eventually.
I am so happy lately. Every day is just better and better than the day before. It feels so good....
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Tuesday June 24, 2014...
Sorry haven't been on of late, I have been busy living life. Strange and bizarre isn't it. I am packing and cleaning and throwing stuff out. People are coming through our house at a rate I didn't imagine. Not a bad thing really I just don't know where we are going yet.
My life is so happy lately. Even with the stress of having people always coming through, and my son hating me and not knowing where we are going to be living, hasn't dented my happiness lately. My man makes my days so much better.
Work is going ok and I need to be making more money but at least I have a job and it gives me a paycheck. Summer is here and I am pretty much out of time off. I have stuff scheduled that I suppose I could cancel so I have time but we'll see how it goes. We are going camping close to home this year so that should be ok. I'm taking my birthday weekend off don't really have any plans just not going to work. Love Long weekends so that is kindof a good present to myself.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Wednesday June 11, 2014....
Well so only two more days until I can hopefully see my sweetie. This long distance thing is new to me despite my last husband never being home. I guess the difference is that I actually want to be with this person.
I miss him so much when he is not here and I can't even imagine what it would be like to have him around everyday. It sounds like heaven to me.
I haven't been this happy for a long time even though the days are ticking by and the house will be up for sale and if it sales we have no place to go. I don't know what we will do. Still waiting on the money he is supposed to be getting me. Hope it gets here soon.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Monday June 9, 2014...
The day at work went by pretty quick. It was torture for awhile but then we got busy and it flew by. I have tomorrow scheduled off to get some more done on the house they will be listing it this week.
I haven't gotten the money from the 401k yet so that I can pay for first and last months rent. I also need to be able to pay the pet deposit and I don't know how I will keep the rent paid. I assume it'll all work out. I have high hopes for my future.
My sweetheart is wonderful and takes such good care of me. He has done a lot for me this past weekend and although it is not his problem, and although he doesn't have any need to be doing it he just randomly keeps cleaning. He's pretty cute when he's cleaning. or maybe I'm just not used to seeing that sort of thing. Either way he's really cute when he's cleaning.
I don't know how to explain it but he only has to look at me to make me smile. I am happy by his mere presence and I can't get enough of it. I don't know when I ever felt like this before.
The day at work went by pretty quick. It was torture for awhile but then we got busy and it flew by. I have tomorrow scheduled off to get some more done on the house they will be listing it this week.
I haven't gotten the money from the 401k yet so that I can pay for first and last months rent. I also need to be able to pay the pet deposit and I don't know how I will keep the rent paid. I assume it'll all work out. I have high hopes for my future.
My sweetheart is wonderful and takes such good care of me. He has done a lot for me this past weekend and although it is not his problem, and although he doesn't have any need to be doing it he just randomly keeps cleaning. He's pretty cute when he's cleaning. or maybe I'm just not used to seeing that sort of thing. Either way he's really cute when he's cleaning.
I don't know how to explain it but he only has to look at me to make me smile. I am happy by his mere presence and I can't get enough of it. I don't know when I ever felt like this before.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Sunday June 8, 2014....
My honey has really out done himself. He has probably done more for me this one weekend than the ex did in a year. He has fixed my kitchen light, replaced the bulbs in the fridge, whacked all the weeds front and back. Planted plants and flowers, moved his stuff to storage, loaded the trailer to move my stuff to storage, painted the front door cleaned off the cabinets, bleached out the sink, bought me a beautiful flower pot for my porch, and spent time with me.
I feel so blessed. I don't know why we had to wait so long to be with each other but I guess that we had lessons to learn. I can't wait until all the drama is over and we can live our lives together.
They are listing the house and putting up the signs this week. I'm excited and nervous all at once. I don't know where we are going or what is going to happen but I know that everything will work out right. I can't wait for our future together. I have been waiting a lifetime to be with my sweetie. I can't wait to love him for many to come.
My honey has really out done himself. He has probably done more for me this one weekend than the ex did in a year. He has fixed my kitchen light, replaced the bulbs in the fridge, whacked all the weeds front and back. Planted plants and flowers, moved his stuff to storage, loaded the trailer to move my stuff to storage, painted the front door cleaned off the cabinets, bleached out the sink, bought me a beautiful flower pot for my porch, and spent time with me.
I feel so blessed. I don't know why we had to wait so long to be with each other but I guess that we had lessons to learn. I can't wait until all the drama is over and we can live our lives together.
They are listing the house and putting up the signs this week. I'm excited and nervous all at once. I don't know where we are going or what is going to happen but I know that everything will work out right. I can't wait for our future together. I have been waiting a lifetime to be with my sweetie. I can't wait to love him for many to come.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Friday June 6, 2014...
Friday and I still have to work tomorrow. I'm hoping that I get sent away early. we are hoping to get things moved to storage so should be good times.
I am so happy I can't stop smiling. My honey comes home in about an hour. I'm pretty excited about it. My son isn't but I guess it will just take him some extra time since he's extra stubborn.
the count down begins.....
Friday and I still have to work tomorrow. I'm hoping that I get sent away early. we are hoping to get things moved to storage so should be good times.
I am so happy I can't stop smiling. My honey comes home in about an hour. I'm pretty excited about it. My son isn't but I guess it will just take him some extra time since he's extra stubborn.
the count down begins.....
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Thursday June 5, 2014...
The stress begins. I have just begun on the house and haven't even gotten anything moved out as far as clutter. I was hoping I would have a couple more weeks to get stuff thrown out. Not the case. My Bro will be here this weekend to put up the sign and take pics of the house. I really don't know how those are going to look because this place is a disaster.
My love will be home tomorrow and promises to help clear some stuff out and get it to the storage. I can't wait until I figure out how I'm gonna pay for my own place, plus I need to find someplace. But ya let's just put it up for sale this minute. No stress....
I am anxious to move on with my life but at the same time I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to my mom's house because my love can't go there. I mean he can visit but he can't stay there. This was so much easier when I thought he could go to his brothers house. I need to find another job. A second job that can pay rent. I need atleast 800 more a month to be able to pay my own way. What's that 2 full time jobs? ha ha no problem.
I am so happy. I don't remember being so happy in a long time. A very long time. My love makes me smile just being there. I love doing things with him and for him his happiness makes me even happier than I already am. He's so thoughtful and sweet. He's very caring and romantic as well. I just love him. I am so happy that we are happy.
The stress begins. I have just begun on the house and haven't even gotten anything moved out as far as clutter. I was hoping I would have a couple more weeks to get stuff thrown out. Not the case. My Bro will be here this weekend to put up the sign and take pics of the house. I really don't know how those are going to look because this place is a disaster.
My love will be home tomorrow and promises to help clear some stuff out and get it to the storage. I can't wait until I figure out how I'm gonna pay for my own place, plus I need to find someplace. But ya let's just put it up for sale this minute. No stress....
I am anxious to move on with my life but at the same time I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to my mom's house because my love can't go there. I mean he can visit but he can't stay there. This was so much easier when I thought he could go to his brothers house. I need to find another job. A second job that can pay rent. I need atleast 800 more a month to be able to pay my own way. What's that 2 full time jobs? ha ha no problem.
I am so happy. I don't remember being so happy in a long time. A very long time. My love makes me smile just being there. I love doing things with him and for him his happiness makes me even happier than I already am. He's so thoughtful and sweet. He's very caring and romantic as well. I just love him. I am so happy that we are happy.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Tuesday June 3, 2014....
Day off since I work on Saturday. Don't want to work on Saturday it's going to drain 8 hours of my limited time with my baby. Oh well gots to pay the bills, always a slave to the paycheck.
I have been so happy lately that I run out of time in my day before I have time to sit down and blog. I am getting the house DE cluttered and ready to be put on the market. I still have a lot to do and don't know why it seems like I've done nothing so far. Tayson has completed the front room, dining room, and started on the kitchen yesterday. It looks so much better. I still need to paint and do something with the yard.
The kids are all good. Today is their last day of school then out for the summer. Lucky's! I wish I was out for the summer! Oh ya I know, the paycheck.
Not everyone is happy for me that I am so happy. My mother says I should concentrate on my kids and not be seeing anyone. She says I should just be single. Alone for life like her. No thanks. I have never done what I was told and a couple of haters aren't going to stop my happiness train. My honey makes me very happy and I have waited a long time to be with him. I want to spend the rest of my days taking care of him.
It's so strange with him I don't feel like I have to be someone I'm not. I don't feel like I have to do certain things or do them a certain way just to please him. I feel so safe just being me. Like he will love me no matter what I do or say. He also doesn't call me names and make me feel awful about myself for no reason. He just makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. I am madly in love with him. I know I never thought I would be with anyone again. He's not just anyone though. He's everything.
Day off since I work on Saturday. Don't want to work on Saturday it's going to drain 8 hours of my limited time with my baby. Oh well gots to pay the bills, always a slave to the paycheck.
I have been so happy lately that I run out of time in my day before I have time to sit down and blog. I am getting the house DE cluttered and ready to be put on the market. I still have a lot to do and don't know why it seems like I've done nothing so far. Tayson has completed the front room, dining room, and started on the kitchen yesterday. It looks so much better. I still need to paint and do something with the yard.
The kids are all good. Today is their last day of school then out for the summer. Lucky's! I wish I was out for the summer! Oh ya I know, the paycheck.
Not everyone is happy for me that I am so happy. My mother says I should concentrate on my kids and not be seeing anyone. She says I should just be single. Alone for life like her. No thanks. I have never done what I was told and a couple of haters aren't going to stop my happiness train. My honey makes me very happy and I have waited a long time to be with him. I want to spend the rest of my days taking care of him.
It's so strange with him I don't feel like I have to be someone I'm not. I don't feel like I have to do certain things or do them a certain way just to please him. I feel so safe just being me. Like he will love me no matter what I do or say. He also doesn't call me names and make me feel awful about myself for no reason. He just makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. I am madly in love with him. I know I never thought I would be with anyone again. He's not just anyone though. He's everything.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Wednesday May 28, 2014....
It's a beautiful day. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping and I am smiling. I like to smile it feels good. I have been so happy lately. It helps a lot that I'm seeing someone who doesn't put me down every two minutes. He doesn't want me to be what I am not. He just likes being with me. It's so different and strange to what I am used to. He also doesn't make promises to do something and then not do it. He just says what do you need done? and then he does it. It's so nice!!
It's a beautiful day. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping and I am smiling. I like to smile it feels good. I have been so happy lately. It helps a lot that I'm seeing someone who doesn't put me down every two minutes. He doesn't want me to be what I am not. He just likes being with me. It's so different and strange to what I am used to. He also doesn't make promises to do something and then not do it. He just says what do you need done? and then he does it. It's so nice!!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Friday May 23, 2014....
Happiness is not over rated. I have felt so good this past week. Even court couldn't bring me down. The smile on my face feels so right. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm smiling. I just find myself with this big grin.
Boy two has managed to already completely declutter the living room and start on the dining area. At this rate I won't have to do much ha ha. We have to get as much as we can from the house so I can find a place to move. I can't be here forever. I also need to find a second job or better paying job so I can keep up on the rent. Something will work out. I believe God has my back.
The ex was bothering me and I said we just needed to try and go on with our lives. I told him that I have already moved on with mine. He says "good for you" don't know if it was sarcastic or not. Don't care.
He kept telling me I'd be happier than I had ever been, when I came to live here with him. I guess I just had to leave him to actually be happy because now I am definitely happier than I have ever been. Now I just want to have some stability and a place to live. Oh ya, we are moving right on with our lives. I'm so happy to finally be doing so.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Wednesday May 21, 2014....
The best day of my life!!! I am free!!! Nothing ever goes without a price so we will be homeless to have the freedom but I am free. I am divorced and will get final papers within 2 weeks. Then we just have to get the properties sold and I am truly free of him.
God has got to have a bigger plan for me. I hope it includes my friend that makes me so happy I could burst, but I know I deserve something good and I have Faith God is bringing me to it.
I have to keep a smile on my face and forget the past which includes today and everything before it. The past is going to kill me. I need to put it away and move on. I can do this. Millions of moms support themselves all the time. I can to.
I won't let him destroy my soul. I won't let him destroy me. I have made it this far fairly put together I intend to make it the rest of the way out to freedom with a smile on my face and bounce in my step. Who knows what tomorrow could bring. Maybe i'll find that dream job that will pay more than he could ever hope to make and I can tell him where exactly he can shove his worthless money. Til then I'll keep praying that a miracle awaits me and I won't actually have to be homeless.
The best day of my life! Smile on my face and sun shining down on me. Tomorrow can only get better.
The best day of my life!!! I am free!!! Nothing ever goes without a price so we will be homeless to have the freedom but I am free. I am divorced and will get final papers within 2 weeks. Then we just have to get the properties sold and I am truly free of him.
God has got to have a bigger plan for me. I hope it includes my friend that makes me so happy I could burst, but I know I deserve something good and I have Faith God is bringing me to it.
I have to keep a smile on my face and forget the past which includes today and everything before it. The past is going to kill me. I need to put it away and move on. I can do this. Millions of moms support themselves all the time. I can to.
I won't let him destroy my soul. I won't let him destroy me. I have made it this far fairly put together I intend to make it the rest of the way out to freedom with a smile on my face and bounce in my step. Who knows what tomorrow could bring. Maybe i'll find that dream job that will pay more than he could ever hope to make and I can tell him where exactly he can shove his worthless money. Til then I'll keep praying that a miracle awaits me and I won't actually have to be homeless.
The best day of my life! Smile on my face and sun shining down on me. Tomorrow can only get better.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Tuesday May 20, 2014....
Tomorrow is the big day!!! I am all smiles and I am sure that tomorrow being the final court day is has something to do with it but more importantly.....
I have reconnected with an old friend who has always been just a friend and although he doesn't remember or get it, I have always found him to be honorable and respectful. He has always been really, really good to me. I don't know how else to say it. My mom of course hates him. Well hate may be to strong a word but she doesn't like him. More to the point she doesn't like me being with anyone. She wants me to be alone like her. It's a problem. I need my own place. I don't want to be alone. I will if I have to be but Id rather have someone around who makes me smile like he does.
He's in St. George , UT working and we text and talk. I need to be able to go on with my life but don't want to do anything but sit and think about him and smile. I don't even remember the last time I was this happy.
I hope it doesn't end, but if it does at least I have had a relief from the sadness.
Smile!!!
Tomorrow is the big day!!! I am all smiles and I am sure that tomorrow being the final court day is has something to do with it but more importantly.....
I have reconnected with an old friend who has always been just a friend and although he doesn't remember or get it, I have always found him to be honorable and respectful. He has always been really, really good to me. I don't know how else to say it. My mom of course hates him. Well hate may be to strong a word but she doesn't like him. More to the point she doesn't like me being with anyone. She wants me to be alone like her. It's a problem. I need my own place. I don't want to be alone. I will if I have to be but Id rather have someone around who makes me smile like he does.
He's in St. George , UT working and we text and talk. I need to be able to go on with my life but don't want to do anything but sit and think about him and smile. I don't even remember the last time I was this happy.
I hope it doesn't end, but if it does at least I have had a relief from the sadness.
Smile!!!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Thursday May 15, 2014.....
Smiling from ear to ear.. fighting graves disease, hospital wants me back for another mammogram. Court pushed back yet another week. Hovering on the brink of homelessness my car getting worse each day. Smile from ear to ear.
Funny how old friends can make you feel. I'm sure it won't last but it feels good to have someone even interested in me in any way at all. I might smile all weekend.
Smiling from ear to ear.. fighting graves disease, hospital wants me back for another mammogram. Court pushed back yet another week. Hovering on the brink of homelessness my car getting worse each day. Smile from ear to ear.
Funny how old friends can make you feel. I'm sure it won't last but it feels good to have someone even interested in me in any way at all. I might smile all weekend.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Wednesday May 14, 2014...
Court was postponed again. Now the 22nd. Trying to keep a positive outlook even though it's hard with everything going on. Starting my day feeling peaceful though and that's a good sign.
Had a mammogram yesterday, just got a call asking if I can come back they need to see me. Not feeling as peaceful as this morning. Feeling rather ill.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring? Don't know how much more I can take. Already fighting graves disease, trying to get through a 3 year divorce, about to be homeless with my kids, and now this. Yes I can handle cancer! NOT!!!!
Court was postponed again. Now the 22nd. Trying to keep a positive outlook even though it's hard with everything going on. Starting my day feeling peaceful though and that's a good sign.
Had a mammogram yesterday, just got a call asking if I can come back they need to see me. Not feeling as peaceful as this morning. Feeling rather ill.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring? Don't know how much more I can take. Already fighting graves disease, trying to get through a 3 year divorce, about to be homeless with my kids, and now this. Yes I can handle cancer! NOT!!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Sunday May 11, 2014...
What an amazing day it's been!!! Ahhh Mother's Day. It's my favorite. I stayed in bed most of the day and had breakfast served to me in bed by son 2 who even did the dishes after. Daughter made me presents some with clay and some with paper all of them equally darling. Son 1 gave me an Orchid and put gas in my car.
All of them have been sweet and wonderful to me all day. I love this day and I love being a Mother. So blessed. Out of all the stresses and wondering what we will have, I have the most important thing in my kids.
I am very blessed to have them and to be their MOM.
What an amazing day it's been!!! Ahhh Mother's Day. It's my favorite. I stayed in bed most of the day and had breakfast served to me in bed by son 2 who even did the dishes after. Daughter made me presents some with clay and some with paper all of them equally darling. Son 1 gave me an Orchid and put gas in my car.
All of them have been sweet and wonderful to me all day. I love this day and I love being a Mother. So blessed. Out of all the stresses and wondering what we will have, I have the most important thing in my kids.
I am very blessed to have them and to be their MOM.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Saturday May 10, 2014....
Yes it's true, I've made it to Saturday!!! Tomorrow is Mother's Day which is of course my favorite day. I don't do anything on Mothers Day. I barely get dressed most of the time. My kids are nice to me that day, they cook for me and they don't fight. They clean and do extra chores so I don't have to. My daughter has been working on "presents" all week and I'm so excited to see what she has made me.
Trying to get my household chores done today so I can continue my nothingness tomorrow. This coming week will be one of trials and stress but I am hoping to get through it with a smile on my face and hopefully with my head held high and a smile on my face.
Divorce week is upon us and we should find out if in fact we are homeless. I know this will relieve a lot of stress for all of us my children included. Best of all it will be over and I can begin to move forward.
Put a smile on your face and don't let anyone take your happiness. It's not worth being miserable for anyone.
Yes it's true, I've made it to Saturday!!! Tomorrow is Mother's Day which is of course my favorite day. I don't do anything on Mothers Day. I barely get dressed most of the time. My kids are nice to me that day, they cook for me and they don't fight. They clean and do extra chores so I don't have to. My daughter has been working on "presents" all week and I'm so excited to see what she has made me.
Trying to get my household chores done today so I can continue my nothingness tomorrow. This coming week will be one of trials and stress but I am hoping to get through it with a smile on my face and hopefully with my head held high and a smile on my face.
Divorce week is upon us and we should find out if in fact we are homeless. I know this will relieve a lot of stress for all of us my children included. Best of all it will be over and I can begin to move forward.
Put a smile on your face and don't let anyone take your happiness. It's not worth being miserable for anyone.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Friday May 9, 2014.....
Happiness is FRIDAY!!! Long day at work, had to be supervisor back up so when it rains it pours, you are either taking a bunch of supervisor calls or sitting and staring at the wall. Either way it's no fun!
But I am home now and my Sister is on her way to hang out. The kids are gone so I have the house to myself and short of being super tired I think it should be a wonderful night.
Surround yourself with people
that reflect who you want to be and
how you want to feel
energies are contagious!!
Happiness is FRIDAY!!! Long day at work, had to be supervisor back up so when it rains it pours, you are either taking a bunch of supervisor calls or sitting and staring at the wall. Either way it's no fun!
But I am home now and my Sister is on her way to hang out. The kids are gone so I have the house to myself and short of being super tired I think it should be a wonderful night.
Surround yourself with people
that reflect who you want to be and
how you want to feel
energies are contagious!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Wednesday May 7, 2004....
The rain falling on the roof at work this morning was like there were a million drummers beating on the roof with their bare hands. It was awesome! I stopped mid sentence to listen and then had to apologize to the customer.. Out the window it was dark gray and you couldn't see the building across the Stream. It didn't last near long enough.
Wish I wasn't so cold all the time though. This Thyroid disease really sucks! My hair is falling out, I can't lose weight, I'm always freezing no matter the temp, I can't absorb my iron so my anemia is really bad lately and my memory is going. Thank you Graves Disease.
But I am grateful for the rain storm and the dark clouds and my hoodie that I would gladly live in all year round. Not much of a fashion statement I know but then I never was into fashion.
Grateful the day turned out so good. Grateful that boy 2 got some driving in today and was smiling and laughing. Grateful daughter didn't have homework and went to bed without fights ensuing. Grateful tomorrow is Thursday (even though I wish I didn't work on Friday) Grateful the week hasn't been too bad. I've laughed and smiled through every problem today and it really has been a joyful day.
Here's hoping tomorrow will be just as lovely and perhaps the weather will start clearing up for Mothers Day on Sunday. Someone took my shift at work so I don't have to work on Saturday and get I my full Mothers Day weekend. (another thing to be grateful for.)
The rain falling on the roof at work this morning was like there were a million drummers beating on the roof with their bare hands. It was awesome! I stopped mid sentence to listen and then had to apologize to the customer.. Out the window it was dark gray and you couldn't see the building across the Stream. It didn't last near long enough.
Wish I wasn't so cold all the time though. This Thyroid disease really sucks! My hair is falling out, I can't lose weight, I'm always freezing no matter the temp, I can't absorb my iron so my anemia is really bad lately and my memory is going. Thank you Graves Disease.
But I am grateful for the rain storm and the dark clouds and my hoodie that I would gladly live in all year round. Not much of a fashion statement I know but then I never was into fashion.
Grateful the day turned out so good. Grateful that boy 2 got some driving in today and was smiling and laughing. Grateful daughter didn't have homework and went to bed without fights ensuing. Grateful tomorrow is Thursday (even though I wish I didn't work on Friday) Grateful the week hasn't been too bad. I've laughed and smiled through every problem today and it really has been a joyful day.
Here's hoping tomorrow will be just as lovely and perhaps the weather will start clearing up for Mothers Day on Sunday. Someone took my shift at work so I don't have to work on Saturday and get I my full Mothers Day weekend. (another thing to be grateful for.)
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday May 5, 2014...
Today went ok at work and it's almost to tomorrow. I'm hoping if I look ahead to tomorrow and think about getting off it will go fast. hmmmm maybe?
Stop criticizing yourself
don't worry
forgive yourself
Be grateful
Have dreams
Have fun
Have a relationship with yourself
Be kind & generous
Stop criticizing others
Develop your spiritual life
See the good
Be truthful even to yourself
see & appreciate beauty
love whoever is around to be loved
finding happiness.... I hope we all find it and hold on to it. We are the only
ones to make ourselves happy. Nobody else has that control. Now if I can just remember that and let go of everything else.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Sunday May 4, 2014....
Was a beautiful weekend although I didn't get much done. Spent a little time out side weeding and mowing. Spent a lot of time wondering what the next couple weeks will bring.
Really nervous for my mammogram although I'm sure everyone gets nervous I really wish I could have these sorts of things come up and not even stress about it. What's to stress about yet right? Really nervous for my divorce to be finalized, find out if we are homeless or not. Again, no need to worry until it gets here. Hope it all comes and goes quickly so I can go on with my life.
Thankful for my kids and family and friends. My kids are my everything and I don't know what I would do without them even though they act like ungrateful teenagers at times. Here's is hoping that as they grow up they will like me again and know that everything I do I do for them.
Keep praying for peace for us all. Praying that we can all find happiness in a world so full of ugliness.
Was a beautiful weekend although I didn't get much done. Spent a little time out side weeding and mowing. Spent a lot of time wondering what the next couple weeks will bring.
Really nervous for my mammogram although I'm sure everyone gets nervous I really wish I could have these sorts of things come up and not even stress about it. What's to stress about yet right? Really nervous for my divorce to be finalized, find out if we are homeless or not. Again, no need to worry until it gets here. Hope it all comes and goes quickly so I can go on with my life.
Thankful for my kids and family and friends. My kids are my everything and I don't know what I would do without them even though they act like ungrateful teenagers at times. Here's is hoping that as they grow up they will like me again and know that everything I do I do for them.
Keep praying for peace for us all. Praying that we can all find happiness in a world so full of ugliness.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Thursday May 1, 2014....
Sunny blue day. Work went on as though the energizer bunny was in charge and I am very thankful to be at the end of it. Not feeling very happy lately I guess I'm just getting really stressed with court getting so close and not knowing what's going to happen or if we'll be homeless or not.... I really don't want to have to tell my kids I'm so lame I can't give them a place to live....
Anyway I am still grateful for those kids and also that I have a job even though it doesn't pay enough to live on. I am grateful I can still laugh with my family and friends and even with myself. I'm grateful I can enjoy music and the few happy memories I can afford to make with my kids. Grateful to have it dry and warm for a few days as well.
Stress Less
Dance it out
Go for a walk
talk about it
breathe
Go to bed earlier
Focus on what you can control
think about good times
Ask for a hug
Look for opportunities in the struggle
Smile
Helpful hints I use some of these myself already. Here's to happier days tomorrow and never giving up no matter what the struggle.
Sunny blue day. Work went on as though the energizer bunny was in charge and I am very thankful to be at the end of it. Not feeling very happy lately I guess I'm just getting really stressed with court getting so close and not knowing what's going to happen or if we'll be homeless or not.... I really don't want to have to tell my kids I'm so lame I can't give them a place to live....
Anyway I am still grateful for those kids and also that I have a job even though it doesn't pay enough to live on. I am grateful I can still laugh with my family and friends and even with myself. I'm grateful I can enjoy music and the few happy memories I can afford to make with my kids. Grateful to have it dry and warm for a few days as well.
Stress Less
Dance it out
Go for a walk
talk about it
breathe
Go to bed earlier
Focus on what you can control
think about good times
Ask for a hug
Look for opportunities in the struggle
Smile
Helpful hints I use some of these myself already. Here's to happier days tomorrow and never giving up no matter what the struggle.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Tuesday April 29, 2014....
The sun is coming out again and today the sky was blue. I was stuck inside work all day while it all passed me by and then came home to eat dinner and do nothing. I'm extremely lazy lately. I started new medication so here's hoping it makes me feel better.
"Never give up hope, Situations can change overnight
& problems can dissolve in the light of a new day."
The sun is coming out again and today the sky was blue. I was stuck inside work all day while it all passed me by and then came home to eat dinner and do nothing. I'm extremely lazy lately. I started new medication so here's hoping it makes me feel better.
"Never give up hope, Situations can change overnight
& problems can dissolve in the light of a new day."
Monday, April 28, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Sunday April 27, 2014...
Bittersweet Sunday. Love that I have the day off but sad I have to work tomorrow. If only the week didn't go so slow. If only my life was already moved on and I didn't have to fear the future. Ahhh well can't have everything you want I suppose.
I am grateful to have gotten a few things done even if not what I really wanted to get done. Oh well, it's ok it's not going to kill me to just relax. I wish I could get some divine inspiration for my future though. I really need to figure it out soon. It would have been better to have found a better paying job by now. Since I have not my only choice is to keep looking.
The day may have been rainy but it has ended sunny with fairly blue sky. I am hoping that it gets warmer soon. I'm tired of the rain and cold. I really need to get some sun and let it help put my head in the right place.
Grateful to have a job and grateful for the chance to pay for most of my life myself. Grateful to have my kids and my family and friends. I may not have much of a life but I'm grateful for what I do have. No matter how much I don't have I do have hope and my faith my be at it's breaking point but I want to believe in a future of happiness and I want to believe I can get there on my own.
Bittersweet Sunday. Love that I have the day off but sad I have to work tomorrow. If only the week didn't go so slow. If only my life was already moved on and I didn't have to fear the future. Ahhh well can't have everything you want I suppose.
I am grateful to have gotten a few things done even if not what I really wanted to get done. Oh well, it's ok it's not going to kill me to just relax. I wish I could get some divine inspiration for my future though. I really need to figure it out soon. It would have been better to have found a better paying job by now. Since I have not my only choice is to keep looking.
The day may have been rainy but it has ended sunny with fairly blue sky. I am hoping that it gets warmer soon. I'm tired of the rain and cold. I really need to get some sun and let it help put my head in the right place.
Grateful to have a job and grateful for the chance to pay for most of my life myself. Grateful to have my kids and my family and friends. I may not have much of a life but I'm grateful for what I do have. No matter how much I don't have I do have hope and my faith my be at it's breaking point but I want to believe in a future of happiness and I want to believe I can get there on my own.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Saturday April 26, 2014....
Rainy day today. It has also been cold. I could do without the temperature changes of spring I think. The day has been good although I haven't done much today. The laundry is half done and the dishes got done. That's about it. I did color today which tends to take up a bunch of time.
Last night I ate at Zupas and had the Wisconsin cauliflower soup and it was delightful. I also had the Turkey Cranberry sandwich which was also wonderful. I haven't eaten there before but I think I will be wanting to eat there again.
Doing ok despite the fact there is mere weeks left until I am faced with being homeless with my kids. I haven't been able to find a job paying more than what I am making now and don't make enough to pay for rent or a mortgage. I'm sure we'll be ok though. When all is said and done. At least I'll be divorced and can start making a new start of things on my own. I'm excited for the unknown of it.
He says he's excited too. I hope when it's done I have enough to make a life for my kids. I hope I can find a better paying job as well. I want to support myself.
Rainy day. Too cold as well. Wish I had of stayed in bed. Trying to keep an open mind on the future. Trying to keep a smile on my face. They say we make our own happiness.
Rainy day today. It has also been cold. I could do without the temperature changes of spring I think. The day has been good although I haven't done much today. The laundry is half done and the dishes got done. That's about it. I did color today which tends to take up a bunch of time.
Last night I ate at Zupas and had the Wisconsin cauliflower soup and it was delightful. I also had the Turkey Cranberry sandwich which was also wonderful. I haven't eaten there before but I think I will be wanting to eat there again.
Doing ok despite the fact there is mere weeks left until I am faced with being homeless with my kids. I haven't been able to find a job paying more than what I am making now and don't make enough to pay for rent or a mortgage. I'm sure we'll be ok though. When all is said and done. At least I'll be divorced and can start making a new start of things on my own. I'm excited for the unknown of it.
He says he's excited too. I hope when it's done I have enough to make a life for my kids. I hope I can find a better paying job as well. I want to support myself.
Rainy day. Too cold as well. Wish I had of stayed in bed. Trying to keep an open mind on the future. Trying to keep a smile on my face. They say we make our own happiness.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Thursday April 24th, 2014....
Well it hasn't been the best couple of days but I'm getting over it and the weekend is upon us so that's good. Yesterday I spent the day getting my tires fixed. I had a flat that looked as though the road had taken a tasty bite of it. Air was whistling out pretty well. My glove box also broke. It won't shut and just jostles around as you drive.
Tomorrow will probably something else breaking, oh and the dude doing the tire said "your bearing is going out. It's not out yet but its getting some play" he was kind enough to price that repair out at 364 dollars and had nothing to say when I told him the last time they did work they broke my transmission. "that's not good" was all he could say to that.
Good times. But I'm smiling. I found a new Dr. and went yesterday. Waiting to hear how the blood results are. I hope we can get my medication right and I can start feeling better. I don't even remember what it's like to eat and not be in pain after.
I am thankful for what little life I have and for the small things I take for granted every day. I'll keep smiling and trying to move forward in a positive direction...
Well it hasn't been the best couple of days but I'm getting over it and the weekend is upon us so that's good. Yesterday I spent the day getting my tires fixed. I had a flat that looked as though the road had taken a tasty bite of it. Air was whistling out pretty well. My glove box also broke. It won't shut and just jostles around as you drive.
Tomorrow will probably something else breaking, oh and the dude doing the tire said "your bearing is going out. It's not out yet but its getting some play" he was kind enough to price that repair out at 364 dollars and had nothing to say when I told him the last time they did work they broke my transmission. "that's not good" was all he could say to that.
Good times. But I'm smiling. I found a new Dr. and went yesterday. Waiting to hear how the blood results are. I hope we can get my medication right and I can start feeling better. I don't even remember what it's like to eat and not be in pain after.
I am thankful for what little life I have and for the small things I take for granted every day. I'll keep smiling and trying to move forward in a positive direction...
Thursday, April 17, 2014
you all think your leaving me
broken in the rain
but everyday you build me stronger
soon I'll be strong enough to leave
as soon as I find my passion
I'll leave you all in my dust
wondering where I went off to
I may seem vulnerable now
to weak to make it work
you think you can break me down
doesn't matter what it takes
but I'll come back
you'll be wondering where I've been
and you'll see that you always
underestimated me.
broken in the rain
but everyday you build me stronger
soon I'll be strong enough to leave
as soon as I find my passion
I'll leave you all in my dust
wondering where I went off to
I may seem vulnerable now
to weak to make it work
you think you can break me down
doesn't matter what it takes
but I'll come back
you'll be wondering where I've been
and you'll see that you always
underestimated me.
Thursday April 17, 2014......
Today is such a challenge I am not finding much happiness in it so I'm going to go with some things I'm thankful for instead. I'm thankful that my car is still running even with all it's problems. I'm thankful for my kids and my family & friends.
I'm thankful I can go to bed and put today behind me and Im thankful if I wake in the morning I can hope for a better day.
Today is such a challenge I am not finding much happiness in it so I'm going to go with some things I'm thankful for instead. I'm thankful that my car is still running even with all it's problems. I'm thankful for my kids and my family & friends.
I'm thankful I can go to bed and put today behind me and Im thankful if I wake in the morning I can hope for a better day.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Wednesday April 16, 2014....
Today has been awesome. Sunshine and blue skies. Took daughter to the children's museum at Gateway. So not worth the money to get in but she had a good time so that was good. We found a good sale and got her some really "her" shoes for cheap and ate lunch at Panda. mmmmm orange chicken.
All in all I got a bit done as well after she went to her Dad's for his visit I got the rest of my papers to my attorney and stopped on an Easter errand. Then I came home did laundry and dishes and started dinner. Homeade Chicken Enchiladas.
I have been trying to picture myself doing something to start my business going. I think I'm gonna make me a website to sell my paper crafts and then I don't have to pay someone else to let me sell on their site.
"You are never too old to set a new
goal or to dream a new dream"
C. S. Lewis
Today has been awesome. Sunshine and blue skies. Took daughter to the children's museum at Gateway. So not worth the money to get in but she had a good time so that was good. We found a good sale and got her some really "her" shoes for cheap and ate lunch at Panda. mmmmm orange chicken.
All in all I got a bit done as well after she went to her Dad's for his visit I got the rest of my papers to my attorney and stopped on an Easter errand. Then I came home did laundry and dishes and started dinner. Homeade Chicken Enchiladas.
I have been trying to picture myself doing something to start my business going. I think I'm gonna make me a website to sell my paper crafts and then I don't have to pay someone else to let me sell on their site.
"You are never too old to set a new
goal or to dream a new dream"
C. S. Lewis
Tuesday April 16, 2014....
Today was a success, at least I hope it was. Made it through the day with a smile on my face and wasn't too stressed out about anything. We ended up ordering in but I am just so sore and tired. I don't know what is wrong with me lately but feel sure I could benefit from a massage.
Got out and took a walk with daughter tonight that helped clear the mind and make me feel like it's Friday. I'm off tomorrow just to spend some time with daughter who is on Spring Break. The sun and fresh air sure do wonders for a person.
"Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts
to finding peace of mind and happiness"
Today was a success, at least I hope it was. Made it through the day with a smile on my face and wasn't too stressed out about anything. We ended up ordering in but I am just so sore and tired. I don't know what is wrong with me lately but feel sure I could benefit from a massage.
Got out and took a walk with daughter tonight that helped clear the mind and make me feel like it's Friday. I'm off tomorrow just to spend some time with daughter who is on Spring Break. The sun and fresh air sure do wonders for a person.
"Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts
to finding peace of mind and happiness"
Monday, April 14, 2014
Monday April 14, 2014.....
Thought my day would get better once I was clocked off at work and headed home. It did not. I couldn't print up my check stubs because the site was down, my brake fluid light came on and wouldn't go off, I was late getting home dinner was late getting on the plates and my son didn't even eat because he was already so hungry he had a sandwich.
But as I type this in, my head hurting and my eyes bugging out there is a smile upon my face. Yes that is right. A smile on my face. I started freaking out earlier letting my head tell me my life sucks, then I took a deep breath bought more fluid and figure out where to put it. Got my son to work, the papers to my lawyer and dinner was late but still delicious.
"Life will be just about as happy as we decide to make it."
Thought my day would get better once I was clocked off at work and headed home. It did not. I couldn't print up my check stubs because the site was down, my brake fluid light came on and wouldn't go off, I was late getting home dinner was late getting on the plates and my son didn't even eat because he was already so hungry he had a sandwich.
But as I type this in, my head hurting and my eyes bugging out there is a smile upon my face. Yes that is right. A smile on my face. I started freaking out earlier letting my head tell me my life sucks, then I took a deep breath bought more fluid and figure out where to put it. Got my son to work, the papers to my lawyer and dinner was late but still delicious.
"Life will be just about as happy as we decide to make it."
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Thursday April 10, 2014....
The sun is shining and the sky is blue! I love Spring days like this. It still has a cool chill to the air but the weather is brilliant. I love not having to wear a coat when I leave the house.
I have a lot to get done today and I'll don't know if I'll do it or leave it for another day but I want to make the most of my day and hopefully it will go in a positive direction.
Smiling through my morning! Happy Thursday!!
The sun is shining and the sky is blue! I love Spring days like this. It still has a cool chill to the air but the weather is brilliant. I love not having to wear a coat when I leave the house.
I have a lot to get done today and I'll don't know if I'll do it or leave it for another day but I want to make the most of my day and hopefully it will go in a positive direction.
Smiling through my morning! Happy Thursday!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Wednesday April 9, 2014.....
It is warm and sunny today in SLC!!! The sun is blazing down upon us and I am in short sleeves. It's wonderful! Work is over and it's my rotation for Saturday this week so tomorrow is my day off instead. Not real sure what I want to do but some of it will be spent helping my mom and then I have to figure out how to get my registration.
Enough about me and my day off. I have had a happy day today all in all and haven't really done anything but it's not been too awfully stressful and despite not finding my registration I feel fairly good. (except for the usual gut wrenching pain in my stomach.)
"Happiness is a direction, not a place.
I may not be there yet but I'm closer than
I was yesterday..."
It is warm and sunny today in SLC!!! The sun is blazing down upon us and I am in short sleeves. It's wonderful! Work is over and it's my rotation for Saturday this week so tomorrow is my day off instead. Not real sure what I want to do but some of it will be spent helping my mom and then I have to figure out how to get my registration.
Enough about me and my day off. I have had a happy day today all in all and haven't really done anything but it's not been too awfully stressful and despite not finding my registration I feel fairly good. (except for the usual gut wrenching pain in my stomach.)
"Happiness is a direction, not a place.
I may not be there yet but I'm closer than
I was yesterday..."
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Tuesday April 8, 2014....
"When life puts you in tough situations,
Don't say "Why me?"
Just say "Try me!"
Today was a great day. Warm, sunny, blue skies. Worked my 8 hours, picked up the kids and got home. Chores and dinner then out for a walk with the kids. Took the boy driving and while on our way home discovered my car registration is no where to be found. I don't have any idea where it has gone. I am not really sure what to do.
My insurance cards aren't there either so I'll get those printed and put in the car but I'm at a loss where they are. That put a damper on the day but I'll try to still smile and go to bed in peace instead of stressed.
Happy Tuesday everyone.
"When life puts you in tough situations,
Don't say "Why me?"
Just say "Try me!"
Today was a great day. Warm, sunny, blue skies. Worked my 8 hours, picked up the kids and got home. Chores and dinner then out for a walk with the kids. Took the boy driving and while on our way home discovered my car registration is no where to be found. I don't have any idea where it has gone. I am not really sure what to do.
My insurance cards aren't there either so I'll get those printed and put in the car but I'm at a loss where they are. That put a damper on the day but I'll try to still smile and go to bed in peace instead of stressed.
Happy Tuesday everyone.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Monday April 7, 2014...
Another painless Monday. They sun is bright in the lovely blue sky so you can imagine what kind of mood I'm in. I love sunshine!!!!! Sunshine makes me so happy. Not only the warmth but I think I really need the light.
Work was there and finally gone, we are home and have been for a bit now. We are almost ready to eat dinner. I am trying a new recipe Creamy Pepperoni Ziti. I'll let you know but it smells spicy.
We also tried Cheesy broccoli casserole the other night and it was delicious as well. They will both be do overs I would guess. I like trying new recipes but my kids aren't always so sure. Indeed it is a do over! Another recipe for week day nights and would even be good for a potluck.
Creamy Pepperoni Ziti
Pckg. Ziti noodles cooked and drained
salt, pepper, and garlic to taste
onion, green pepper, mushroom, tomato, chopped
3/4 cup pepperoni chopped
1/2 c half and half
1/4 c chicken broth
3/4 cup mozzarella
1 can cream of mushroom soup
mix everything together
bake in casserole dish for 20 minutes covered
then 5 - 10 minutes uncovered til brown and bubbly
Voila!!! It was quick and easy and tastes delicious. Now you can all enjoy. Happy Monday!
Another painless Monday. They sun is bright in the lovely blue sky so you can imagine what kind of mood I'm in. I love sunshine!!!!! Sunshine makes me so happy. Not only the warmth but I think I really need the light.
Work was there and finally gone, we are home and have been for a bit now. We are almost ready to eat dinner. I am trying a new recipe Creamy Pepperoni Ziti. I'll let you know but it smells spicy.
We also tried Cheesy broccoli casserole the other night and it was delicious as well. They will both be do overs I would guess. I like trying new recipes but my kids aren't always so sure. Indeed it is a do over! Another recipe for week day nights and would even be good for a potluck.
Creamy Pepperoni Ziti
Pckg. Ziti noodles cooked and drained
salt, pepper, and garlic to taste
onion, green pepper, mushroom, tomato, chopped
3/4 cup pepperoni chopped
1/2 c half and half
1/4 c chicken broth
3/4 cup mozzarella
1 can cream of mushroom soup
mix everything together
bake in casserole dish for 20 minutes covered
then 5 - 10 minutes uncovered til brown and bubbly
Voila!!! It was quick and easy and tastes delicious. Now you can all enjoy. Happy Monday!
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Sunday April 6, 2014.....
Things that help lift your spirits and make you happy..
*familiar scents i.e.... brownies, crispy treats, cake, bread
*music
* Sunshine
* Exercise
Today rained off and on but ended with a beautiful blue sky and sun setting. All in all it was an ok weekend but wished we could have gotten a little more done.
Seeing Captain America was fun and I did get some groceries and hopefully the week will be full of smiles since the sun will be out and the temperatures will be climbing.
Things that help lift your spirits and make you happy..
*familiar scents i.e.... brownies, crispy treats, cake, bread
*music
* Sunshine
* Exercise
Today rained off and on but ended with a beautiful blue sky and sun setting. All in all it was an ok weekend but wished we could have gotten a little more done.
Seeing Captain America was fun and I did get some groceries and hopefully the week will be full of smiles since the sun will be out and the temperatures will be climbing.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Saturday April 5, 2014....
Going to see Captain America today. Getting out of the house is something I need to do. I never go anywhere. People say I should be out living life not holed up in my house day after day...
We'll see if it makes me any happier to leave. The sun has finally come out a little. I am glad that I can see it for a minute. I'm feeling vulnerable this weekend but glad to be off a couple days to rest and relax.
Going to see Captain America today. Getting out of the house is something I need to do. I never go anywhere. People say I should be out living life not holed up in my house day after day...
We'll see if it makes me any happier to leave. The sun has finally come out a little. I am glad that I can see it for a minute. I'm feeling vulnerable this weekend but glad to be off a couple days to rest and relax.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Tuesday April 1, 2014....
My health is playing tricks on me for April fools.... I've been feeling rancid all day. First I started getting symptoms of needing iron. I took the iron at the first signs and put my head down during break. The iron made my vision return but also made me sick to my stomach and oh boy.....
Needless to say I came home and slept. I now have the kids and I'm back home safe and sound. My stomach is still upset but feels at least a little better although now my head is starting to throb. Fun times!
"You will never be truly happy if you
continuously hold on to the things that
make you unhappy..
Let things go and move on...
My health is playing tricks on me for April fools.... I've been feeling rancid all day. First I started getting symptoms of needing iron. I took the iron at the first signs and put my head down during break. The iron made my vision return but also made me sick to my stomach and oh boy.....
Needless to say I came home and slept. I now have the kids and I'm back home safe and sound. My stomach is still upset but feels at least a little better although now my head is starting to throb. Fun times!
"You will never be truly happy if you
continuously hold on to the things that
make you unhappy..
Let things go and move on...
Monday, March 31, 2014
Monday March 31, 2014.....
It might take a day, It might take a year
Just hold on to Faith and let go of fear....
Funny to be seeing some of the quotes I'm seeing today. The one above and earlier "Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations."
My day didn't start as I had planned, it didn't continue as I had planned. I had to use an hour of sick time which blew my 100% attendance for the month. I had a great day at work but when I got to get daughter she was sick and running a fever and had been at school all day sick. Boy 2 was already home sick for the day.
We got home and I settled her in with some Ibuprofen. She seems to be a little better now. The boy says he's dizzy. Not really sure.
The day has been going full tilt all day. I was leaving the building at the end of my day, and thinking "didn't I just get here?" I am going to hope that the entire week goes that fast. It would be a wonderful change to the normal drag.
Happy that my Monday is to the point where I am home with the kids. Happy that dinner is done and it's delicious. Now I can relax.....
It might take a day, It might take a year
Just hold on to Faith and let go of fear....
Funny to be seeing some of the quotes I'm seeing today. The one above and earlier "Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations."
My day didn't start as I had planned, it didn't continue as I had planned. I had to use an hour of sick time which blew my 100% attendance for the month. I had a great day at work but when I got to get daughter she was sick and running a fever and had been at school all day sick. Boy 2 was already home sick for the day.
We got home and I settled her in with some Ibuprofen. She seems to be a little better now. The boy says he's dizzy. Not really sure.
The day has been going full tilt all day. I was leaving the building at the end of my day, and thinking "didn't I just get here?" I am going to hope that the entire week goes that fast. It would be a wonderful change to the normal drag.
Happy that my Monday is to the point where I am home with the kids. Happy that dinner is done and it's delicious. Now I can relax.....
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Sunday March 30. 2014...
Didn't sleep my entire morning away today. Woke up feeling more lonely and sentimental than yesterday which is definitely not a good thing for my happiness.
Boy 1 is home today so I am not alone and my sis says she'll have boy 2 home in a couple hours and she's gonna go to the book store with me so I'm excited for that. Things to take our minds off things.
Book stores are places of happiness anyway right? I could hang out in Barnes and Noble for hours and not notice the time slip away. They also have Starbucks so the smell is wonderful and you can't help but indulge in a delightful coffee as well. Yes definitely a place of HAPPINESS.
Daughter will be home later as well so everything will be back in place and hopefully these constant thoughts about him will go away.
I must get to the store and get my shopping done so I can be ready when they get here. I still need to write the list. I'm trying an entire week of new recipes for dinners this week from a new cook book I bought at work. I'll let you know how they turn out.
Didn't sleep my entire morning away today. Woke up feeling more lonely and sentimental than yesterday which is definitely not a good thing for my happiness.
Boy 1 is home today so I am not alone and my sis says she'll have boy 2 home in a couple hours and she's gonna go to the book store with me so I'm excited for that. Things to take our minds off things.
Book stores are places of happiness anyway right? I could hang out in Barnes and Noble for hours and not notice the time slip away. They also have Starbucks so the smell is wonderful and you can't help but indulge in a delightful coffee as well. Yes definitely a place of HAPPINESS.
Daughter will be home later as well so everything will be back in place and hopefully these constant thoughts about him will go away.
I must get to the store and get my shopping done so I can be ready when they get here. I still need to write the list. I'm trying an entire week of new recipes for dinners this week from a new cook book I bought at work. I'll let you know how they turn out.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Saturday March 29, 2014....
Today was half way over when I decided to climb out of bed. I don't know what I was expecting to do today but I guess my body felt bed was the thing. I am feeling a little lonely today.
The kids are gone. Boy 1 is at work, Boy 2 is at his cousins, and the daughter is with her Father for his weekend. I have trapped myself at home by letting boy 1 take the car to work instead of just dropping him off.
There are chores to do and so I of course will work on those but I would rather be off seeing a movie or going to lunch or something. My life is passing me by and I don't know what to do with it. Feeling not so happy today but hopeful the blues will go away as the day progresses. It doesn't help that today was supposed to be full of sunshine and warmth and instead it is gray, and extremely windy. Yuck!
If I had a tv in my bedroom I think I would just go back to bed and pretend the whole day didn't even happen. Tomorrow is stormy but perhaps happier? we'll see...
Today was half way over when I decided to climb out of bed. I don't know what I was expecting to do today but I guess my body felt bed was the thing. I am feeling a little lonely today.
The kids are gone. Boy 1 is at work, Boy 2 is at his cousins, and the daughter is with her Father for his weekend. I have trapped myself at home by letting boy 1 take the car to work instead of just dropping him off.
There are chores to do and so I of course will work on those but I would rather be off seeing a movie or going to lunch or something. My life is passing me by and I don't know what to do with it. Feeling not so happy today but hopeful the blues will go away as the day progresses. It doesn't help that today was supposed to be full of sunshine and warmth and instead it is gray, and extremely windy. Yuck!
If I had a tv in my bedroom I think I would just go back to bed and pretend the whole day didn't even happen. Tomorrow is stormy but perhaps happier? we'll see...
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