December 29, 2016...
Well the fun is over. K is coming home on the seven o'clock flight and then it will be back to the constant badgering for rides and what not. Oh man don't they ever move out? His little brother is doing wonderful in Oregon and just put his phone into his own account and took it off my bill. I really wish K would grow up too. J is still with her donor and I've no idea where B is, probably with her friends. I loved having the house to myself, it was wonderful. Oh well maybe some day.
New Years this weekend. I really don't want to go anywhere because I'd like to get stupid drunk and hang with my love. I don't want to drive and I don't want to sleep at someone else's house so I really need to just stay home, watch movies and pig out. Sounds good to me. Guess I should run it past my love but I'm sure he'll be fine with it.
A new year. Wow! Not sure what type of goals I want to make this year but I know it should have something to do with going on vacation, paying bills off, and making more money. Second job? My own business? Not really sure but I know that I am so tired of living pay check to pay check and never getting to buy anything for myself or go anywhere new or fun. I always just go camping every year but I would really like to do something else. A real vacation somewhere I've never been, like San Francisco, or Disney Land, Hogwarts... the ideas are limitless especially since I really haven't been many places. Kind of a home body I guess.
Guess I had better start getting those goals in order and talk to K about raising the rent, he'll probably be mad but oh well he really needs to start growing up and taking care of himself. Tough love they tell me. "They" being my therapist and my love and my co workers. Friends don't charge their kids rent so they don't really get it. He'll have to pay some his first check and some his second check. A budget would be good and he should really start putting money into an account so he can get a car. What kind of guy his age doesn't want a car? It's strange I think. Millennial's! They just want to live at home and play video games. I couldn't wait to get moved out on my own and didn't mind spending all my money on rent and utilities. It was my own life and it was wonderful.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Tuesday
December 27, 2016....
Been to lazy to get on but the holiday was a success. My love and I spent the day with our girls and although we didn't have any of the boys it was still enjoyable for the most part. I have loved having 4 days off and I am already looking forward to next weekend, another long one and I'm hoping I got the 2nd off as well although I don't think they have loaded that week yet. For some reason it won't let me log into the page to check my schedule so I'm assuming they are working on it now. Hopefully we will find out soon.
Kids are all good. B is back home until august and is looking for a full time job so she can save up money to pay for the next semester, although I think she should save up for a couple semesters so she doesn't have to worry about it for awhile. Too much stress while at school working on your homework and what not. T is doing good and he is still living in Oregon and K is now visiting there for the holidays but will be back in a couple days. He won't like that we are raising the rent but maybe it will give him the push he needs. I don't know. He needs to get out and get living his life.
Other kids are all doing good as far as I know. J goes to her donor tomorrow and will stay with him until next Sunday poor thing, glad it's not me that has to be with him. He's such a sorry excuse for a man. He's contesting that my claim to the 401k money isn't true and is wanting to change it to an unsecured debt which he could then add to the bankruptcy that was done last year. I wasn't going after the money because I don't have money for another lawyer and court costs but it doesn't seem fair to me that I can be awarded something in court and he can just have it dissolved because he can't stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Why do I and my kids have to suffer so that he has no consequences for the cheating, lying, stealing, mental and emotional abuse? Why does he get to just walk away from it free and clear and happy. I tell you I feel like I must be a really horrible person since I did nothing this time but have my heart broken. How long will I have to suffer for my past mistakes and why doesn't he have to pay what he is supposed to? I'm paying off loans that I never should of had to get. I'll be paying my 401k loan for another 5 years. What did I get for it? A lawyer who did nothing to stand up for me. It's the principal of the thing. He should have to pay for his own mistakes. I shouldn't have to.
Been to lazy to get on but the holiday was a success. My love and I spent the day with our girls and although we didn't have any of the boys it was still enjoyable for the most part. I have loved having 4 days off and I am already looking forward to next weekend, another long one and I'm hoping I got the 2nd off as well although I don't think they have loaded that week yet. For some reason it won't let me log into the page to check my schedule so I'm assuming they are working on it now. Hopefully we will find out soon.
Kids are all good. B is back home until august and is looking for a full time job so she can save up money to pay for the next semester, although I think she should save up for a couple semesters so she doesn't have to worry about it for awhile. Too much stress while at school working on your homework and what not. T is doing good and he is still living in Oregon and K is now visiting there for the holidays but will be back in a couple days. He won't like that we are raising the rent but maybe it will give him the push he needs. I don't know. He needs to get out and get living his life.
Other kids are all doing good as far as I know. J goes to her donor tomorrow and will stay with him until next Sunday poor thing, glad it's not me that has to be with him. He's such a sorry excuse for a man. He's contesting that my claim to the 401k money isn't true and is wanting to change it to an unsecured debt which he could then add to the bankruptcy that was done last year. I wasn't going after the money because I don't have money for another lawyer and court costs but it doesn't seem fair to me that I can be awarded something in court and he can just have it dissolved because he can't stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Why do I and my kids have to suffer so that he has no consequences for the cheating, lying, stealing, mental and emotional abuse? Why does he get to just walk away from it free and clear and happy. I tell you I feel like I must be a really horrible person since I did nothing this time but have my heart broken. How long will I have to suffer for my past mistakes and why doesn't he have to pay what he is supposed to? I'm paying off loans that I never should of had to get. I'll be paying my 401k loan for another 5 years. What did I get for it? A lawyer who did nothing to stand up for me. It's the principal of the thing. He should have to pay for his own mistakes. I shouldn't have to.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Tuesday
December 20, 2016...
Wow another long day. glad it's over. I'm home I've cranked up the heater to combat the cold seeping into our windows. We sorely need new ones. I am already excited for spring and winter just started with it's bitter cold and icy snow. I feel likes it's been going on for months but it really hasn't. I'm sure we haven't seen the worst of it yet either. So far it has managed to snow either after I get home or before I leave work and they have it cleared before I have to drive. It hasn't been bad so far though, knock on wood.
Work was work it was long and boring although it wasn't as slow as yesterday so I was busier after all and that always makes the time go faster. They gave us 2 movie tickets today at work, To celebrate the end of the year they said. I'll take it. I think I've gotten more from them this year than in most years past. I got picked for a 100 dollar gift card at the holiday party, then they gave us 50 dollar gift cards to honey baked ham for Christmas and now we got the movie tickets. I hope that keeps up. I don't mind them giving me extra money. It is one of the few perks we enjoy there. I used to get the monthly incentive every month for highest commission but no longer get that because our call type doesn't earn commission. They do however still make us take those calls however. Just like they refuse to give me my promotion but make me do the same work without the higher pay and then when I complain they write me up and refuse my promotion again. It's a good time there. They say they have the worst communication on the surveys and they don't understand. It's because everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of being written up and punished. Nobody wants to lose their job over an opinion but we shouldn't fear speaking up if we need to.
Christmas is this weekend and while everyone is excited for the holiday I'm actually excited for the four day weekend. Two days paid!! Yes!! I have plans all day Friday, Saturday and probably Sunday but Monday and Tuesday are mine. Don't know what I want to do yet but it won't involve going to any kind of party or get together. I'm going to have my fill of hosting parties by the time Christmas is over and we still have New Years the next weekend. I'm exhausted and glad that it's almost over although then a new year of birthday parties starts up. That's exhausting as well.... Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. .. Ya that's probably it. I'll be a cat lady soon ha ha
Wow another long day. glad it's over. I'm home I've cranked up the heater to combat the cold seeping into our windows. We sorely need new ones. I am already excited for spring and winter just started with it's bitter cold and icy snow. I feel likes it's been going on for months but it really hasn't. I'm sure we haven't seen the worst of it yet either. So far it has managed to snow either after I get home or before I leave work and they have it cleared before I have to drive. It hasn't been bad so far though, knock on wood.
Work was work it was long and boring although it wasn't as slow as yesterday so I was busier after all and that always makes the time go faster. They gave us 2 movie tickets today at work, To celebrate the end of the year they said. I'll take it. I think I've gotten more from them this year than in most years past. I got picked for a 100 dollar gift card at the holiday party, then they gave us 50 dollar gift cards to honey baked ham for Christmas and now we got the movie tickets. I hope that keeps up. I don't mind them giving me extra money. It is one of the few perks we enjoy there. I used to get the monthly incentive every month for highest commission but no longer get that because our call type doesn't earn commission. They do however still make us take those calls however. Just like they refuse to give me my promotion but make me do the same work without the higher pay and then when I complain they write me up and refuse my promotion again. It's a good time there. They say they have the worst communication on the surveys and they don't understand. It's because everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of being written up and punished. Nobody wants to lose their job over an opinion but we shouldn't fear speaking up if we need to.
Christmas is this weekend and while everyone is excited for the holiday I'm actually excited for the four day weekend. Two days paid!! Yes!! I have plans all day Friday, Saturday and probably Sunday but Monday and Tuesday are mine. Don't know what I want to do yet but it won't involve going to any kind of party or get together. I'm going to have my fill of hosting parties by the time Christmas is over and we still have New Years the next weekend. I'm exhausted and glad that it's almost over although then a new year of birthday parties starts up. That's exhausting as well.... Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. .. Ya that's probably it. I'll be a cat lady soon ha ha
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Saturday
December 17, 2016...
What an enjoyable day. Woke up to the light feathering of snowflakes falling, made coffee and enjoyed that in bed while reading my book. Took a nap and got some laundry done. Also organized a closet and got a roast in the oven. I'm now cooking potatoes which should be done any time now. I'm starving so I can't wait.
The weather is cold and I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads A lot of people don't. We do need new windows though. I swear I'm always freezing. They are advertising a sweatshirt on facebook that says "I'm freaking cold!" I want it. It's so me. I may just order it for myself. I practically live in sweatshirts and they are all falling apart so I need new ones anyway. I just wonder if it's a thick one or just a random thin one. Too expensive to buy it if it's just a thin one.
I can't wait to get paid and be able to have a little money to spend for Christmas. I worked my full 80 hours so I should have a bigger paycheck than I'm used to and T paid my Verizon bill so I don't have to pay that. I'm almost done with J's but I need stocking stuffers and my love. I got my mom a pan but if I find a new mop for a good price I'm gonna get her one of those too.
I'm procrastinating it but wanting to get on line and find something I can do from home besides just surveys. I started doing some of those but stopped getting the emails and don't remember where it was there are so many. I used to do one that paid me out about 35 dollars a week. Doesn't seem like much, but I made it watching tv with my kids while doing the survey so it was basically free money and it helped out a lot when I was a single mom paying for everything by myself.
Now I have my love who pays for so much. I love him so much. He never complains except when it comes to the older kids. B is home from school for awhile so she can save for tuition. I'm not sure but I think she isn't looking into enough student loan options. Either way she's back home for awhile and that is going to be more food again and more laundry stuff. ugh... parenting never ends.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Thursday
December 15, 2016...
Every day this week has felt like a Monday. I have not been doing my norm at work and it's thrown me off big time. I have been helping with testing and it changes my whole day around. I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday and hopeful that next week is better.
Christmas is coming up next week. I'm excited for it. Mostly just to have it over with I think. I like the lights and shopping and giving but I don't like the financial stress and the never pleasing anyone. I must admit my Christmas's have been quite relaxing since my love has been part of them. I think it's because I don't feel like I have to pretend I'm enjoying things. I actually do.
I think the new year is one of my favorite times because I'm always so hopeful the new year will be full of adventure and happiness and it's usually 12 months of stress and problems. This year I'm sure will be no exception, I'll be happy and hopeful and then around March I'll realize it's no different than this year or last. But there is always the hoping and praying for it to be so.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow and I hope it waits until I'm done with work. I don't want to drive in it with the crazies. They are bad enough on dry roads and even worse when there is rain. It's like the water falls and they all lose their minds and forget how to drive. They catch up by June but then the roads are dry again so they'll go back to driving 50 everywhere. Ugh traffic is my enemy lately.
Every day this week has felt like a Monday. I have not been doing my norm at work and it's thrown me off big time. I have been helping with testing and it changes my whole day around. I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday and hopeful that next week is better.
Christmas is coming up next week. I'm excited for it. Mostly just to have it over with I think. I like the lights and shopping and giving but I don't like the financial stress and the never pleasing anyone. I must admit my Christmas's have been quite relaxing since my love has been part of them. I think it's because I don't feel like I have to pretend I'm enjoying things. I actually do.
I think the new year is one of my favorite times because I'm always so hopeful the new year will be full of adventure and happiness and it's usually 12 months of stress and problems. This year I'm sure will be no exception, I'll be happy and hopeful and then around March I'll realize it's no different than this year or last. But there is always the hoping and praying for it to be so.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow and I hope it waits until I'm done with work. I don't want to drive in it with the crazies. They are bad enough on dry roads and even worse when there is rain. It's like the water falls and they all lose their minds and forget how to drive. They catch up by June but then the roads are dry again so they'll go back to driving 50 everywhere. Ugh traffic is my enemy lately.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
sunday
December 11, 2016....
Got some more Christmas shopping done today and almost finished my Christmas cards, although I'm still missing some addresses. T paid my phone bill and I'm excited to get my next check because I'll be able to get more presents. Yay! The weekend went really fast as usual. We went to a Christmas get together and went and saw some lights then had dinner and drinks at our friends house it was fun but very cold and we had to make a pit stop at their friends house for a birthday party. We didn't know anyone but it was ok I guess.
Today I have mostly been napping and making cards while doing laundry. The rest of my house is suffering though. I need to get it cleaned this week and make some Christmas treats with J. We didn't do any baking last year and I want to do some this year. I have cake mixes to start with cupcakes tomorrow and then hopefully we can make sugar cookies on day this week. Next weekend I want to make more varieties but she won't be with me so I'll be on my own.
Christmas is two weeks away and I can't wait I get a 4 day weekend. two days paid and the other two the weekend. then I only work three and get another 3 day weekend. Then our time off banks are refilled and we get to pick more time off. Yay! I want to take a week off in March I think. Just to spring clean and relax. Then another week In the Summer. July sometime I'm thinking. We are supposed to be able to pick days off tomorrow so I'm hoping I can do that while Im hanging out by myself from 6 to 7. We normally don't get many calls and so I'm hoping it all goes good and I can get some in before everyone else. Like the day after Thanksgiving and perhaps the day after Christmas depending on when it is and if I decide I need an extra day off for it. Plus my birthday and I like taking presidents day off with J. This is her last year that I'll be taking days off with her. She starts Jr high next year and will be more on her own. K leaves next week to go and see his Dad and family in Oregon. I'll send T's Christmas present with him.
Love that they get to travel and see different states with their dad. Love that they get to go and have an enjoyable Christmas and not have to be here all the time where I never have money to make it nice. Atleast they have that.
Got some more Christmas shopping done today and almost finished my Christmas cards, although I'm still missing some addresses. T paid my phone bill and I'm excited to get my next check because I'll be able to get more presents. Yay! The weekend went really fast as usual. We went to a Christmas get together and went and saw some lights then had dinner and drinks at our friends house it was fun but very cold and we had to make a pit stop at their friends house for a birthday party. We didn't know anyone but it was ok I guess.
Today I have mostly been napping and making cards while doing laundry. The rest of my house is suffering though. I need to get it cleaned this week and make some Christmas treats with J. We didn't do any baking last year and I want to do some this year. I have cake mixes to start with cupcakes tomorrow and then hopefully we can make sugar cookies on day this week. Next weekend I want to make more varieties but she won't be with me so I'll be on my own.
Christmas is two weeks away and I can't wait I get a 4 day weekend. two days paid and the other two the weekend. then I only work three and get another 3 day weekend. Then our time off banks are refilled and we get to pick more time off. Yay! I want to take a week off in March I think. Just to spring clean and relax. Then another week In the Summer. July sometime I'm thinking. We are supposed to be able to pick days off tomorrow so I'm hoping I can do that while Im hanging out by myself from 6 to 7. We normally don't get many calls and so I'm hoping it all goes good and I can get some in before everyone else. Like the day after Thanksgiving and perhaps the day after Christmas depending on when it is and if I decide I need an extra day off for it. Plus my birthday and I like taking presidents day off with J. This is her last year that I'll be taking days off with her. She starts Jr high next year and will be more on her own. K leaves next week to go and see his Dad and family in Oregon. I'll send T's Christmas present with him.
Love that they get to travel and see different states with their dad. Love that they get to go and have an enjoyable Christmas and not have to be here all the time where I never have money to make it nice. Atleast they have that.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Wednesday...
December 7,2016...
Love Wednesdays because I get to come right home and don't have to stop and wait for the girl. I got my errands done today and was still home about 3. Now I need to be working on my chores and my Christmas cards but really, I just feel like taking a nap. Don't want to waste the time though bedtime comes fast enough. At least the week is going fast. I really need to figure out a way to like my work again because the time just goes so slow I never want to be there.
Christmas is a few weeks away. Can't wait until it's over though. It's always so stressful and I don't think anyone even remembers what the holiday is for anyway. His name is Jesus and he was born that day. We should send him presents...
Hoping I get to do some baking this week. I think J would have fun making cookies with me. We didn't do much baking last year but the year before we did all kinds of baking. Took us all day and lasted a couple days before it was gone. I didn't even get to take any to the neighbors or my mother. Hopefully this year we can make the time. We have several parties in the coming weeks and so I don't know but my fingers are crossed because it would make a nice tradition now that she is getting bigger.
Love Wednesdays because I get to come right home and don't have to stop and wait for the girl. I got my errands done today and was still home about 3. Now I need to be working on my chores and my Christmas cards but really, I just feel like taking a nap. Don't want to waste the time though bedtime comes fast enough. At least the week is going fast. I really need to figure out a way to like my work again because the time just goes so slow I never want to be there.
Christmas is a few weeks away. Can't wait until it's over though. It's always so stressful and I don't think anyone even remembers what the holiday is for anyway. His name is Jesus and he was born that day. We should send him presents...
Hoping I get to do some baking this week. I think J would have fun making cookies with me. We didn't do much baking last year but the year before we did all kinds of baking. Took us all day and lasted a couple days before it was gone. I didn't even get to take any to the neighbors or my mother. Hopefully this year we can make the time. We have several parties in the coming weeks and so I don't know but my fingers are crossed because it would make a nice tradition now that she is getting bigger.
Monday, December 5, 2016
Monday
December 5, 2016....
Monday done and almost gone. I was not ready for Monday and really don't know what happened to the weekend but I'm pretty sure we weren't meant to just work, never having any time to see the world we live in or to spend time with the people we love doing things in nature or at home. Nope it's nothing but work.
Today was of course busy for the segment I came from. They didn't make me take those calls today but I swear every time they do I want to just leave and I can't anymore no matter the anxiety. My FMLA is over. I haven't gone to therapy since before Halloween so I don't think they would renew it. I don't miss the therapy and am glad I'm not going anymore but I wish the whole dreadful thing hadn't happened. I swear that man ruined me and now has everyone convinced I'm the one that did everything. I saw on his facebook page a statement, "It's the one cheating that is right in another relationship while the other one stays to heal and clean up the mess." I had to laugh because I think I had posted that shortly after he finally moved out after cheating on me. Good times!
I'm hoping the rest of the week it slows down so that we can get some relaxing done before the new year which is our biggest time at my work. Excited for the new year though so that I can get more time in my bank since my last day is scheduled the Tuesday after Christmas. Another four day weekend and I am already counting down which is not good by all means.
Monday done and almost gone. I was not ready for Monday and really don't know what happened to the weekend but I'm pretty sure we weren't meant to just work, never having any time to see the world we live in or to spend time with the people we love doing things in nature or at home. Nope it's nothing but work.
Today was of course busy for the segment I came from. They didn't make me take those calls today but I swear every time they do I want to just leave and I can't anymore no matter the anxiety. My FMLA is over. I haven't gone to therapy since before Halloween so I don't think they would renew it. I don't miss the therapy and am glad I'm not going anymore but I wish the whole dreadful thing hadn't happened. I swear that man ruined me and now has everyone convinced I'm the one that did everything. I saw on his facebook page a statement, "It's the one cheating that is right in another relationship while the other one stays to heal and clean up the mess." I had to laugh because I think I had posted that shortly after he finally moved out after cheating on me. Good times!
I'm hoping the rest of the week it slows down so that we can get some relaxing done before the new year which is our biggest time at my work. Excited for the new year though so that I can get more time in my bank since my last day is scheduled the Tuesday after Christmas. Another four day weekend and I am already counting down which is not good by all means.
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