January 31, 2017....
Tuesday. Not much happens on Tuesday that is good. I'll start with my blessings, no snow today, even though there was also not really any sun. I had a good day at work as far as things go. Got J ok and we got home without too much delay. I don't know what is happening with my taxes but I do know that I'm still praying they get in before his do. I really need to get some of my bills paid. I don't understand why he gets to wipe everything clean and not have to be responsible for anything.
Don't get it.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Sunday
January 29, 2017....
Stayed in my jammies in my room the entire day. I only left for food, bathroom breaks and laundry. I also managed to get a load of dishes done as well. I'm sad and I am confused and I really wish I didn't want to eat because I feel fat and boring and ugly. That's how my weekend went. Found out my love has told me twice now he won't talk to a certain person and I find out he spoke to her again. I'm so hurt. I don't understand what she has done for him in the past several months (she lives in another state) that she/her feelings are more important than mine. Why has she just like that become more important to him than me, the person he claims to love. Maybe more importantly what is wrong with me that the people I'm with never want to be with me. Am I really that boring? I'm invisible. Wish I could afford my therapy again.
Stayed in my jammies in my room the entire day. I only left for food, bathroom breaks and laundry. I also managed to get a load of dishes done as well. I'm sad and I am confused and I really wish I didn't want to eat because I feel fat and boring and ugly. That's how my weekend went. Found out my love has told me twice now he won't talk to a certain person and I find out he spoke to her again. I'm so hurt. I don't understand what she has done for him in the past several months (she lives in another state) that she/her feelings are more important than mine. Why has she just like that become more important to him than me, the person he claims to love. Maybe more importantly what is wrong with me that the people I'm with never want to be with me. Am I really that boring? I'm invisible. Wish I could afford my therapy again.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Wednesday..
January 11, 2017...
Well as of yesterday the asshole donor will get away with putting the 401k debt on his bankruptcy. I don't feel like I should have to pay for a lawyer to fight for a debt that I already won in court and he was court ordered to pay. The laws make no sense. The judge did nothing to protect me or my kids. I hate the whole thing but still refused to get a lawyer to fight for it again. He still wouldn't pay it and they still wouldn't make him. Oddly enough I'm now just hoping that Karma really screws him right over and leaves him homeless and broke and it can't happen soon enough. In the meantime I'm going on with my life and starting to try and think of things I can do on the side to make more money so I can get the dam bills paid and have money to do stuff, like fix my car when it breaks, or go out to eat at a real restaurant, buy groceries when I need them and not have to worry where to get the money. I don't know I just think I need to be putting my money else where and not into all these bills.
My credit is ok at the moment but I need to make sure that I am getting my bills paid in full and on time so that it will climb back up again. Thankfully I have been forced to work my full hours at work and my checks are bigger than they have ever been. I'm also going to cancel a few things so that the increase in my medical isn't as traumatic. I guess I'm just hoping to make it out of this year with more money than I came into it with. I don't really care what I have to do to get the bills paid I just want it done. I want to go to San Diego this year on vacation and possibly next year to Disney land and Hogwarts. I want to see the ocean and sit on the beach with a cocktail. I want to experience it with my love. I'm excited.
Well as of yesterday the asshole donor will get away with putting the 401k debt on his bankruptcy. I don't feel like I should have to pay for a lawyer to fight for a debt that I already won in court and he was court ordered to pay. The laws make no sense. The judge did nothing to protect me or my kids. I hate the whole thing but still refused to get a lawyer to fight for it again. He still wouldn't pay it and they still wouldn't make him. Oddly enough I'm now just hoping that Karma really screws him right over and leaves him homeless and broke and it can't happen soon enough. In the meantime I'm going on with my life and starting to try and think of things I can do on the side to make more money so I can get the dam bills paid and have money to do stuff, like fix my car when it breaks, or go out to eat at a real restaurant, buy groceries when I need them and not have to worry where to get the money. I don't know I just think I need to be putting my money else where and not into all these bills.
My credit is ok at the moment but I need to make sure that I am getting my bills paid in full and on time so that it will climb back up again. Thankfully I have been forced to work my full hours at work and my checks are bigger than they have ever been. I'm also going to cancel a few things so that the increase in my medical isn't as traumatic. I guess I'm just hoping to make it out of this year with more money than I came into it with. I don't really care what I have to do to get the bills paid I just want it done. I want to go to San Diego this year on vacation and possibly next year to Disney land and Hogwarts. I want to see the ocean and sit on the beach with a cocktail. I want to experience it with my love. I'm excited.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Sunday
January 7, 2017..
Pretty great day today. Went to the At Home store and bought me the cutest frame. I think I'm gonna go back tomorrow and get Jazmin her frame for the Eiffel Tower picture she has had for awhile now. We need to get it hung up and off the floor. I may get me a couple more frames. Or I saw the cutest hooks that were owls. I was thinking getting it to put on the wall behind the door so people can hang there coats on them. They have so many things that I just love. I did my grocery shopping yesterday so I didn't have to do that but we did run some errands, got the oil changed in my car and a new air filter. My love takes such good care of me.
I made Chicken Yokisaba for dinner and it turned out wonderful. I don't go by the recipe but here is what I used for it. I was following a recipe as far as ingredients but I didn't use the proper measurements for the sauce and so forth. Here are the ingredients and I'll let you decide how much to use of everything. I will put measurements I remember from the recipe...
Chicken Yokisaba
2 Chicken Breast cut into thin strips
Broccoli chopped into bit size pieces
1/2 cabbage sliced into thin slices.
shredded carrots
T fresh ginger
1 small onion sliced in thin slices
2 pckgs ramen noodles
sauce
1/4 c soy sauce
1/4 Worcester sauce
2 t sugar
2 T ketchup
seasoning packets from the ramen
cook the sliced chicken in a little olive or peanut oil til not pink. add vegies and cook until tender.
meanwhile boil water and cook ramen noodles. (set seasoning aside for sauce) when noodles are tender 2-3 minutes drain and set aside.
Mix sauce ingredients and pour over vegies, meat, and noodles. mix and enjoy.
We all enjoyed and I've been picking at the leftovers all night. You all enjoy as well. I looked up the recipe on pinterest by searching "Chicken Yokisaba"
Pretty great day today. Went to the At Home store and bought me the cutest frame. I think I'm gonna go back tomorrow and get Jazmin her frame for the Eiffel Tower picture she has had for awhile now. We need to get it hung up and off the floor. I may get me a couple more frames. Or I saw the cutest hooks that were owls. I was thinking getting it to put on the wall behind the door so people can hang there coats on them. They have so many things that I just love. I did my grocery shopping yesterday so I didn't have to do that but we did run some errands, got the oil changed in my car and a new air filter. My love takes such good care of me.
I made Chicken Yokisaba for dinner and it turned out wonderful. I don't go by the recipe but here is what I used for it. I was following a recipe as far as ingredients but I didn't use the proper measurements for the sauce and so forth. Here are the ingredients and I'll let you decide how much to use of everything. I will put measurements I remember from the recipe...
Chicken Yokisaba
2 Chicken Breast cut into thin strips
Broccoli chopped into bit size pieces
1/2 cabbage sliced into thin slices.
shredded carrots
T fresh ginger
1 small onion sliced in thin slices
2 pckgs ramen noodles
sauce
1/4 c soy sauce
1/4 Worcester sauce
2 t sugar
2 T ketchup
seasoning packets from the ramen
cook the sliced chicken in a little olive or peanut oil til not pink. add vegies and cook until tender.
meanwhile boil water and cook ramen noodles. (set seasoning aside for sauce) when noodles are tender 2-3 minutes drain and set aside.
Mix sauce ingredients and pour over vegies, meat, and noodles. mix and enjoy.
We all enjoyed and I've been picking at the leftovers all night. You all enjoy as well. I looked up the recipe on pinterest by searching "Chicken Yokisaba"
Friday, January 6, 2017
Friday
January 6, 2017...
Finally Friday!! As though I worked a full week or something ha! Today started out pretty brutal.
I either turned the alarm off or it didn't go off I woke up at 650. Yes I do work at 6. ahhhhhhhh
I made a mad dash at got there by 730. I have no idea what they will do to me but I really have no idea what happened. I can't change it though so I have to just laugh and move on. I guess my co worker did the same thing but managed to rush and still make it on time. My body didn't wake me up either which was weird. I have been exhausted though.
The weekend is finally here. I love Friday because it's the furthest day from Monday of the weekend. No plans but maybe I can get some scrapbooking in or something. I was supposed to pick up my 25 dollar gift card that I won but I totally spaced it. Oh well we shall get it on Monday. Yuck Monday....
Fam is all the same. Doing the same ole same ole. We are all recovering or trying to stave off the dreaded head cold. It's been going on forever and I feel as though I'll never be rid of the cough. My lungs hurt from coughing. I would think I would be getting abs from all the contracting of my stomach muscles while coughing. My tongue even hurts from coughing.
Hopefully it will be gone soon but my love says his lungs hurt when he breathes so I hope he is not getting pneumonia or bronchitis. He of course says he's fine. The lies we tell ourselves to prevent going to the Dr. Need to make a shopping list and go grocery shopping. What a dreaded chore. I really don't like grocery shopping. It's so tedious and expensive. When you are done you are so exhausted that you don't want to cook the food you just bought, you want someone to bring you food while you lay in your jammies and cuddle up watching Netflix.
Life is expensive really.
Finally Friday!! As though I worked a full week or something ha! Today started out pretty brutal.
I either turned the alarm off or it didn't go off I woke up at 650. Yes I do work at 6. ahhhhhhhh
I made a mad dash at got there by 730. I have no idea what they will do to me but I really have no idea what happened. I can't change it though so I have to just laugh and move on. I guess my co worker did the same thing but managed to rush and still make it on time. My body didn't wake me up either which was weird. I have been exhausted though.
The weekend is finally here. I love Friday because it's the furthest day from Monday of the weekend. No plans but maybe I can get some scrapbooking in or something. I was supposed to pick up my 25 dollar gift card that I won but I totally spaced it. Oh well we shall get it on Monday. Yuck Monday....
Fam is all the same. Doing the same ole same ole. We are all recovering or trying to stave off the dreaded head cold. It's been going on forever and I feel as though I'll never be rid of the cough. My lungs hurt from coughing. I would think I would be getting abs from all the contracting of my stomach muscles while coughing. My tongue even hurts from coughing.
Hopefully it will be gone soon but my love says his lungs hurt when he breathes so I hope he is not getting pneumonia or bronchitis. He of course says he's fine. The lies we tell ourselves to prevent going to the Dr. Need to make a shopping list and go grocery shopping. What a dreaded chore. I really don't like grocery shopping. It's so tedious and expensive. When you are done you are so exhausted that you don't want to cook the food you just bought, you want someone to bring you food while you lay in your jammies and cuddle up watching Netflix.
Life is expensive really.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Thursday
January 5, 2017...
Second day back to work after the holidays. Next week is going to seem really long. We were busy as all get out today so glad that we were all there to take the calls or it could have been horrifying. Debbie even came in early to help the service levels. (we don't know what the service levels are except they are usually bad when one of us is gone.) My cough was horrendous but I made it through my shift and didn't lose my voice or hack away in anyone's ear so I guess it went pretty good.
I'm feeling really insecure lately. I just keep gaining weight and I'm doing nothing different than I always do. Not doing so good on my exercising though but I swear I almost wish I was still all riddled with anxiety so I could shed the pounds again. Ahhh I guess we'll do anything to be thin won't we? I just miss being able to move better I guess. Plus my love keeps talking to his women friends and I know I should not be jealous but I so am. I know he loves me and what not but I don't know what sign it is to these other single ladies when he makes it ok for them to call him and text him whenever they want, I feel like they feel he isn't happy in his relationship and who knows what that might lead to. I guess I'm just not ready to find that I'm being replaced again and that's how it makes me feel. Yesterday he even was going to borrow money to one of them for her rent. REALLY you just call some man and ask him to pay your rent?!? And he was going to borrow it to her. Not a word to me. I know it's not my money it's his but we are supposed to be together so you would think he would at least pass it by me but no. None of my business is what I take from it, although he says it's no big deal because her check showed up and she could pay her own rent. crisis averted. Except it's not our crisis it's some other woman's crisis. See I'm awful.
The snow fell hard last night, took me almost an hour to clean off my car and get to work. I wasn't late thank god but it sure was the wonderful commute. Saw several bad accidents although my car handled it like a pro and I was safely there and home. Now I need to go out and shovel but having only a couple hours of sleep I'm already exhausted.
Second day back to work after the holidays. Next week is going to seem really long. We were busy as all get out today so glad that we were all there to take the calls or it could have been horrifying. Debbie even came in early to help the service levels. (we don't know what the service levels are except they are usually bad when one of us is gone.) My cough was horrendous but I made it through my shift and didn't lose my voice or hack away in anyone's ear so I guess it went pretty good.
I'm feeling really insecure lately. I just keep gaining weight and I'm doing nothing different than I always do. Not doing so good on my exercising though but I swear I almost wish I was still all riddled with anxiety so I could shed the pounds again. Ahhh I guess we'll do anything to be thin won't we? I just miss being able to move better I guess. Plus my love keeps talking to his women friends and I know I should not be jealous but I so am. I know he loves me and what not but I don't know what sign it is to these other single ladies when he makes it ok for them to call him and text him whenever they want, I feel like they feel he isn't happy in his relationship and who knows what that might lead to. I guess I'm just not ready to find that I'm being replaced again and that's how it makes me feel. Yesterday he even was going to borrow money to one of them for her rent. REALLY you just call some man and ask him to pay your rent?!? And he was going to borrow it to her. Not a word to me. I know it's not my money it's his but we are supposed to be together so you would think he would at least pass it by me but no. None of my business is what I take from it, although he says it's no big deal because her check showed up and she could pay her own rent. crisis averted. Except it's not our crisis it's some other woman's crisis. See I'm awful.
The snow fell hard last night, took me almost an hour to clean off my car and get to work. I wasn't late thank god but it sure was the wonderful commute. Saw several bad accidents although my car handled it like a pro and I was safely there and home. Now I need to go out and shovel but having only a couple hours of sleep I'm already exhausted.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Monday
January 2, 2016...
Well Happy New Year to us!! We have both been sick our entire weekend and didn't party on New Years. In fact we didn't even stay up long after 12. The fever has been awful and hopefully will be gone now. Just a headache, sinuses and a cough left behind.
Guess we'll have that over with and we can move on to a healthier new year. I would like to work out more, pay off my bills, and go on a vacation. We are thinking San Diego. The beach, my love can show me around his old stomping grounds since he used to live there with his dad. Sounds wonderful to me. Then maybe Hogwarts and Disney land next year. Just have to be a penny pincher and put everything I can into savings. If I can get one bill paid I can use that payment to pay down another bill and so on and so forth until they are all gone. I can't wait to reach that goal. I also want us to go more places with the girl and make more memories as a family. Perhaps camping or something when N gets out.
I think every year with my love is wonderful. Living my dreams. I love him so much. I was taking care of him fri - sunday but when he saw I was sick to he got up and made me dinner. No other guy I've been with has done that. He's been taking care of me all day. I love him more and more. I hope we get to grow old together.
Well Happy New Year to us!! We have both been sick our entire weekend and didn't party on New Years. In fact we didn't even stay up long after 12. The fever has been awful and hopefully will be gone now. Just a headache, sinuses and a cough left behind.
Guess we'll have that over with and we can move on to a healthier new year. I would like to work out more, pay off my bills, and go on a vacation. We are thinking San Diego. The beach, my love can show me around his old stomping grounds since he used to live there with his dad. Sounds wonderful to me. Then maybe Hogwarts and Disney land next year. Just have to be a penny pincher and put everything I can into savings. If I can get one bill paid I can use that payment to pay down another bill and so on and so forth until they are all gone. I can't wait to reach that goal. I also want us to go more places with the girl and make more memories as a family. Perhaps camping or something when N gets out.
I think every year with my love is wonderful. Living my dreams. I love him so much. I was taking care of him fri - sunday but when he saw I was sick to he got up and made me dinner. No other guy I've been with has done that. He's been taking care of me all day. I love him more and more. I hope we get to grow old together.
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