December 29, 2016...
Well the fun is over. K is coming home on the seven o'clock flight and then it will be back to the constant badgering for rides and what not. Oh man don't they ever move out? His little brother is doing wonderful in Oregon and just put his phone into his own account and took it off my bill. I really wish K would grow up too. J is still with her donor and I've no idea where B is, probably with her friends. I loved having the house to myself, it was wonderful. Oh well maybe some day.
New Years this weekend. I really don't want to go anywhere because I'd like to get stupid drunk and hang with my love. I don't want to drive and I don't want to sleep at someone else's house so I really need to just stay home, watch movies and pig out. Sounds good to me. Guess I should run it past my love but I'm sure he'll be fine with it.
A new year. Wow! Not sure what type of goals I want to make this year but I know it should have something to do with going on vacation, paying bills off, and making more money. Second job? My own business? Not really sure but I know that I am so tired of living pay check to pay check and never getting to buy anything for myself or go anywhere new or fun. I always just go camping every year but I would really like to do something else. A real vacation somewhere I've never been, like San Francisco, or Disney Land, Hogwarts... the ideas are limitless especially since I really haven't been many places. Kind of a home body I guess.
Guess I had better start getting those goals in order and talk to K about raising the rent, he'll probably be mad but oh well he really needs to start growing up and taking care of himself. Tough love they tell me. "They" being my therapist and my love and my co workers. Friends don't charge their kids rent so they don't really get it. He'll have to pay some his first check and some his second check. A budget would be good and he should really start putting money into an account so he can get a car. What kind of guy his age doesn't want a car? It's strange I think. Millennial's! They just want to live at home and play video games. I couldn't wait to get moved out on my own and didn't mind spending all my money on rent and utilities. It was my own life and it was wonderful.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Tuesday
December 27, 2016....
Been to lazy to get on but the holiday was a success. My love and I spent the day with our girls and although we didn't have any of the boys it was still enjoyable for the most part. I have loved having 4 days off and I am already looking forward to next weekend, another long one and I'm hoping I got the 2nd off as well although I don't think they have loaded that week yet. For some reason it won't let me log into the page to check my schedule so I'm assuming they are working on it now. Hopefully we will find out soon.
Kids are all good. B is back home until august and is looking for a full time job so she can save up money to pay for the next semester, although I think she should save up for a couple semesters so she doesn't have to worry about it for awhile. Too much stress while at school working on your homework and what not. T is doing good and he is still living in Oregon and K is now visiting there for the holidays but will be back in a couple days. He won't like that we are raising the rent but maybe it will give him the push he needs. I don't know. He needs to get out and get living his life.
Other kids are all doing good as far as I know. J goes to her donor tomorrow and will stay with him until next Sunday poor thing, glad it's not me that has to be with him. He's such a sorry excuse for a man. He's contesting that my claim to the 401k money isn't true and is wanting to change it to an unsecured debt which he could then add to the bankruptcy that was done last year. I wasn't going after the money because I don't have money for another lawyer and court costs but it doesn't seem fair to me that I can be awarded something in court and he can just have it dissolved because he can't stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Why do I and my kids have to suffer so that he has no consequences for the cheating, lying, stealing, mental and emotional abuse? Why does he get to just walk away from it free and clear and happy. I tell you I feel like I must be a really horrible person since I did nothing this time but have my heart broken. How long will I have to suffer for my past mistakes and why doesn't he have to pay what he is supposed to? I'm paying off loans that I never should of had to get. I'll be paying my 401k loan for another 5 years. What did I get for it? A lawyer who did nothing to stand up for me. It's the principal of the thing. He should have to pay for his own mistakes. I shouldn't have to.
Been to lazy to get on but the holiday was a success. My love and I spent the day with our girls and although we didn't have any of the boys it was still enjoyable for the most part. I have loved having 4 days off and I am already looking forward to next weekend, another long one and I'm hoping I got the 2nd off as well although I don't think they have loaded that week yet. For some reason it won't let me log into the page to check my schedule so I'm assuming they are working on it now. Hopefully we will find out soon.
Kids are all good. B is back home until august and is looking for a full time job so she can save up money to pay for the next semester, although I think she should save up for a couple semesters so she doesn't have to worry about it for awhile. Too much stress while at school working on your homework and what not. T is doing good and he is still living in Oregon and K is now visiting there for the holidays but will be back in a couple days. He won't like that we are raising the rent but maybe it will give him the push he needs. I don't know. He needs to get out and get living his life.
Other kids are all doing good as far as I know. J goes to her donor tomorrow and will stay with him until next Sunday poor thing, glad it's not me that has to be with him. He's such a sorry excuse for a man. He's contesting that my claim to the 401k money isn't true and is wanting to change it to an unsecured debt which he could then add to the bankruptcy that was done last year. I wasn't going after the money because I don't have money for another lawyer and court costs but it doesn't seem fair to me that I can be awarded something in court and he can just have it dissolved because he can't stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Why do I and my kids have to suffer so that he has no consequences for the cheating, lying, stealing, mental and emotional abuse? Why does he get to just walk away from it free and clear and happy. I tell you I feel like I must be a really horrible person since I did nothing this time but have my heart broken. How long will I have to suffer for my past mistakes and why doesn't he have to pay what he is supposed to? I'm paying off loans that I never should of had to get. I'll be paying my 401k loan for another 5 years. What did I get for it? A lawyer who did nothing to stand up for me. It's the principal of the thing. He should have to pay for his own mistakes. I shouldn't have to.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Tuesday
December 20, 2016...
Wow another long day. glad it's over. I'm home I've cranked up the heater to combat the cold seeping into our windows. We sorely need new ones. I am already excited for spring and winter just started with it's bitter cold and icy snow. I feel likes it's been going on for months but it really hasn't. I'm sure we haven't seen the worst of it yet either. So far it has managed to snow either after I get home or before I leave work and they have it cleared before I have to drive. It hasn't been bad so far though, knock on wood.
Work was work it was long and boring although it wasn't as slow as yesterday so I was busier after all and that always makes the time go faster. They gave us 2 movie tickets today at work, To celebrate the end of the year they said. I'll take it. I think I've gotten more from them this year than in most years past. I got picked for a 100 dollar gift card at the holiday party, then they gave us 50 dollar gift cards to honey baked ham for Christmas and now we got the movie tickets. I hope that keeps up. I don't mind them giving me extra money. It is one of the few perks we enjoy there. I used to get the monthly incentive every month for highest commission but no longer get that because our call type doesn't earn commission. They do however still make us take those calls however. Just like they refuse to give me my promotion but make me do the same work without the higher pay and then when I complain they write me up and refuse my promotion again. It's a good time there. They say they have the worst communication on the surveys and they don't understand. It's because everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of being written up and punished. Nobody wants to lose their job over an opinion but we shouldn't fear speaking up if we need to.
Christmas is this weekend and while everyone is excited for the holiday I'm actually excited for the four day weekend. Two days paid!! Yes!! I have plans all day Friday, Saturday and probably Sunday but Monday and Tuesday are mine. Don't know what I want to do yet but it won't involve going to any kind of party or get together. I'm going to have my fill of hosting parties by the time Christmas is over and we still have New Years the next weekend. I'm exhausted and glad that it's almost over although then a new year of birthday parties starts up. That's exhausting as well.... Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. .. Ya that's probably it. I'll be a cat lady soon ha ha
Wow another long day. glad it's over. I'm home I've cranked up the heater to combat the cold seeping into our windows. We sorely need new ones. I am already excited for spring and winter just started with it's bitter cold and icy snow. I feel likes it's been going on for months but it really hasn't. I'm sure we haven't seen the worst of it yet either. So far it has managed to snow either after I get home or before I leave work and they have it cleared before I have to drive. It hasn't been bad so far though, knock on wood.
Work was work it was long and boring although it wasn't as slow as yesterday so I was busier after all and that always makes the time go faster. They gave us 2 movie tickets today at work, To celebrate the end of the year they said. I'll take it. I think I've gotten more from them this year than in most years past. I got picked for a 100 dollar gift card at the holiday party, then they gave us 50 dollar gift cards to honey baked ham for Christmas and now we got the movie tickets. I hope that keeps up. I don't mind them giving me extra money. It is one of the few perks we enjoy there. I used to get the monthly incentive every month for highest commission but no longer get that because our call type doesn't earn commission. They do however still make us take those calls however. Just like they refuse to give me my promotion but make me do the same work without the higher pay and then when I complain they write me up and refuse my promotion again. It's a good time there. They say they have the worst communication on the surveys and they don't understand. It's because everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of being written up and punished. Nobody wants to lose their job over an opinion but we shouldn't fear speaking up if we need to.
Christmas is this weekend and while everyone is excited for the holiday I'm actually excited for the four day weekend. Two days paid!! Yes!! I have plans all day Friday, Saturday and probably Sunday but Monday and Tuesday are mine. Don't know what I want to do yet but it won't involve going to any kind of party or get together. I'm going to have my fill of hosting parties by the time Christmas is over and we still have New Years the next weekend. I'm exhausted and glad that it's almost over although then a new year of birthday parties starts up. That's exhausting as well.... Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. .. Ya that's probably it. I'll be a cat lady soon ha ha
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Saturday
December 17, 2016...
What an enjoyable day. Woke up to the light feathering of snowflakes falling, made coffee and enjoyed that in bed while reading my book. Took a nap and got some laundry done. Also organized a closet and got a roast in the oven. I'm now cooking potatoes which should be done any time now. I'm starving so I can't wait.
The weather is cold and I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads A lot of people don't. We do need new windows though. I swear I'm always freezing. They are advertising a sweatshirt on facebook that says "I'm freaking cold!" I want it. It's so me. I may just order it for myself. I practically live in sweatshirts and they are all falling apart so I need new ones anyway. I just wonder if it's a thick one or just a random thin one. Too expensive to buy it if it's just a thin one.
I can't wait to get paid and be able to have a little money to spend for Christmas. I worked my full 80 hours so I should have a bigger paycheck than I'm used to and T paid my Verizon bill so I don't have to pay that. I'm almost done with J's but I need stocking stuffers and my love. I got my mom a pan but if I find a new mop for a good price I'm gonna get her one of those too.
I'm procrastinating it but wanting to get on line and find something I can do from home besides just surveys. I started doing some of those but stopped getting the emails and don't remember where it was there are so many. I used to do one that paid me out about 35 dollars a week. Doesn't seem like much, but I made it watching tv with my kids while doing the survey so it was basically free money and it helped out a lot when I was a single mom paying for everything by myself.
Now I have my love who pays for so much. I love him so much. He never complains except when it comes to the older kids. B is home from school for awhile so she can save for tuition. I'm not sure but I think she isn't looking into enough student loan options. Either way she's back home for awhile and that is going to be more food again and more laundry stuff. ugh... parenting never ends.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Thursday
December 15, 2016...
Every day this week has felt like a Monday. I have not been doing my norm at work and it's thrown me off big time. I have been helping with testing and it changes my whole day around. I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday and hopeful that next week is better.
Christmas is coming up next week. I'm excited for it. Mostly just to have it over with I think. I like the lights and shopping and giving but I don't like the financial stress and the never pleasing anyone. I must admit my Christmas's have been quite relaxing since my love has been part of them. I think it's because I don't feel like I have to pretend I'm enjoying things. I actually do.
I think the new year is one of my favorite times because I'm always so hopeful the new year will be full of adventure and happiness and it's usually 12 months of stress and problems. This year I'm sure will be no exception, I'll be happy and hopeful and then around March I'll realize it's no different than this year or last. But there is always the hoping and praying for it to be so.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow and I hope it waits until I'm done with work. I don't want to drive in it with the crazies. They are bad enough on dry roads and even worse when there is rain. It's like the water falls and they all lose their minds and forget how to drive. They catch up by June but then the roads are dry again so they'll go back to driving 50 everywhere. Ugh traffic is my enemy lately.
Every day this week has felt like a Monday. I have not been doing my norm at work and it's thrown me off big time. I have been helping with testing and it changes my whole day around. I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday and hopeful that next week is better.
Christmas is coming up next week. I'm excited for it. Mostly just to have it over with I think. I like the lights and shopping and giving but I don't like the financial stress and the never pleasing anyone. I must admit my Christmas's have been quite relaxing since my love has been part of them. I think it's because I don't feel like I have to pretend I'm enjoying things. I actually do.
I think the new year is one of my favorite times because I'm always so hopeful the new year will be full of adventure and happiness and it's usually 12 months of stress and problems. This year I'm sure will be no exception, I'll be happy and hopeful and then around March I'll realize it's no different than this year or last. But there is always the hoping and praying for it to be so.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow and I hope it waits until I'm done with work. I don't want to drive in it with the crazies. They are bad enough on dry roads and even worse when there is rain. It's like the water falls and they all lose their minds and forget how to drive. They catch up by June but then the roads are dry again so they'll go back to driving 50 everywhere. Ugh traffic is my enemy lately.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
sunday
December 11, 2016....
Got some more Christmas shopping done today and almost finished my Christmas cards, although I'm still missing some addresses. T paid my phone bill and I'm excited to get my next check because I'll be able to get more presents. Yay! The weekend went really fast as usual. We went to a Christmas get together and went and saw some lights then had dinner and drinks at our friends house it was fun but very cold and we had to make a pit stop at their friends house for a birthday party. We didn't know anyone but it was ok I guess.
Today I have mostly been napping and making cards while doing laundry. The rest of my house is suffering though. I need to get it cleaned this week and make some Christmas treats with J. We didn't do any baking last year and I want to do some this year. I have cake mixes to start with cupcakes tomorrow and then hopefully we can make sugar cookies on day this week. Next weekend I want to make more varieties but she won't be with me so I'll be on my own.
Christmas is two weeks away and I can't wait I get a 4 day weekend. two days paid and the other two the weekend. then I only work three and get another 3 day weekend. Then our time off banks are refilled and we get to pick more time off. Yay! I want to take a week off in March I think. Just to spring clean and relax. Then another week In the Summer. July sometime I'm thinking. We are supposed to be able to pick days off tomorrow so I'm hoping I can do that while Im hanging out by myself from 6 to 7. We normally don't get many calls and so I'm hoping it all goes good and I can get some in before everyone else. Like the day after Thanksgiving and perhaps the day after Christmas depending on when it is and if I decide I need an extra day off for it. Plus my birthday and I like taking presidents day off with J. This is her last year that I'll be taking days off with her. She starts Jr high next year and will be more on her own. K leaves next week to go and see his Dad and family in Oregon. I'll send T's Christmas present with him.
Love that they get to travel and see different states with their dad. Love that they get to go and have an enjoyable Christmas and not have to be here all the time where I never have money to make it nice. Atleast they have that.
Got some more Christmas shopping done today and almost finished my Christmas cards, although I'm still missing some addresses. T paid my phone bill and I'm excited to get my next check because I'll be able to get more presents. Yay! The weekend went really fast as usual. We went to a Christmas get together and went and saw some lights then had dinner and drinks at our friends house it was fun but very cold and we had to make a pit stop at their friends house for a birthday party. We didn't know anyone but it was ok I guess.
Today I have mostly been napping and making cards while doing laundry. The rest of my house is suffering though. I need to get it cleaned this week and make some Christmas treats with J. We didn't do any baking last year and I want to do some this year. I have cake mixes to start with cupcakes tomorrow and then hopefully we can make sugar cookies on day this week. Next weekend I want to make more varieties but she won't be with me so I'll be on my own.
Christmas is two weeks away and I can't wait I get a 4 day weekend. two days paid and the other two the weekend. then I only work three and get another 3 day weekend. Then our time off banks are refilled and we get to pick more time off. Yay! I want to take a week off in March I think. Just to spring clean and relax. Then another week In the Summer. July sometime I'm thinking. We are supposed to be able to pick days off tomorrow so I'm hoping I can do that while Im hanging out by myself from 6 to 7. We normally don't get many calls and so I'm hoping it all goes good and I can get some in before everyone else. Like the day after Thanksgiving and perhaps the day after Christmas depending on when it is and if I decide I need an extra day off for it. Plus my birthday and I like taking presidents day off with J. This is her last year that I'll be taking days off with her. She starts Jr high next year and will be more on her own. K leaves next week to go and see his Dad and family in Oregon. I'll send T's Christmas present with him.
Love that they get to travel and see different states with their dad. Love that they get to go and have an enjoyable Christmas and not have to be here all the time where I never have money to make it nice. Atleast they have that.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Wednesday...
December 7,2016...
Love Wednesdays because I get to come right home and don't have to stop and wait for the girl. I got my errands done today and was still home about 3. Now I need to be working on my chores and my Christmas cards but really, I just feel like taking a nap. Don't want to waste the time though bedtime comes fast enough. At least the week is going fast. I really need to figure out a way to like my work again because the time just goes so slow I never want to be there.
Christmas is a few weeks away. Can't wait until it's over though. It's always so stressful and I don't think anyone even remembers what the holiday is for anyway. His name is Jesus and he was born that day. We should send him presents...
Hoping I get to do some baking this week. I think J would have fun making cookies with me. We didn't do much baking last year but the year before we did all kinds of baking. Took us all day and lasted a couple days before it was gone. I didn't even get to take any to the neighbors or my mother. Hopefully this year we can make the time. We have several parties in the coming weeks and so I don't know but my fingers are crossed because it would make a nice tradition now that she is getting bigger.
Love Wednesdays because I get to come right home and don't have to stop and wait for the girl. I got my errands done today and was still home about 3. Now I need to be working on my chores and my Christmas cards but really, I just feel like taking a nap. Don't want to waste the time though bedtime comes fast enough. At least the week is going fast. I really need to figure out a way to like my work again because the time just goes so slow I never want to be there.
Christmas is a few weeks away. Can't wait until it's over though. It's always so stressful and I don't think anyone even remembers what the holiday is for anyway. His name is Jesus and he was born that day. We should send him presents...
Hoping I get to do some baking this week. I think J would have fun making cookies with me. We didn't do much baking last year but the year before we did all kinds of baking. Took us all day and lasted a couple days before it was gone. I didn't even get to take any to the neighbors or my mother. Hopefully this year we can make the time. We have several parties in the coming weeks and so I don't know but my fingers are crossed because it would make a nice tradition now that she is getting bigger.
Monday, December 5, 2016
Monday
December 5, 2016....
Monday done and almost gone. I was not ready for Monday and really don't know what happened to the weekend but I'm pretty sure we weren't meant to just work, never having any time to see the world we live in or to spend time with the people we love doing things in nature or at home. Nope it's nothing but work.
Today was of course busy for the segment I came from. They didn't make me take those calls today but I swear every time they do I want to just leave and I can't anymore no matter the anxiety. My FMLA is over. I haven't gone to therapy since before Halloween so I don't think they would renew it. I don't miss the therapy and am glad I'm not going anymore but I wish the whole dreadful thing hadn't happened. I swear that man ruined me and now has everyone convinced I'm the one that did everything. I saw on his facebook page a statement, "It's the one cheating that is right in another relationship while the other one stays to heal and clean up the mess." I had to laugh because I think I had posted that shortly after he finally moved out after cheating on me. Good times!
I'm hoping the rest of the week it slows down so that we can get some relaxing done before the new year which is our biggest time at my work. Excited for the new year though so that I can get more time in my bank since my last day is scheduled the Tuesday after Christmas. Another four day weekend and I am already counting down which is not good by all means.
Monday done and almost gone. I was not ready for Monday and really don't know what happened to the weekend but I'm pretty sure we weren't meant to just work, never having any time to see the world we live in or to spend time with the people we love doing things in nature or at home. Nope it's nothing but work.
Today was of course busy for the segment I came from. They didn't make me take those calls today but I swear every time they do I want to just leave and I can't anymore no matter the anxiety. My FMLA is over. I haven't gone to therapy since before Halloween so I don't think they would renew it. I don't miss the therapy and am glad I'm not going anymore but I wish the whole dreadful thing hadn't happened. I swear that man ruined me and now has everyone convinced I'm the one that did everything. I saw on his facebook page a statement, "It's the one cheating that is right in another relationship while the other one stays to heal and clean up the mess." I had to laugh because I think I had posted that shortly after he finally moved out after cheating on me. Good times!
I'm hoping the rest of the week it slows down so that we can get some relaxing done before the new year which is our biggest time at my work. Excited for the new year though so that I can get more time in my bank since my last day is scheduled the Tuesday after Christmas. Another four day weekend and I am already counting down which is not good by all means.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Tuesday
November 29, 2016...
Long day at work but it seems as though the evening is just speeding right along. I still haven't gotten my tree up. I usually do it Thanksgiving weekend. Oh well. I'm also putting the tree downstairs this year so that will be different as well.
It's also the first year I don't have to buy toys for any of the kids living here. Konner and Kade will get a toy but otherwise I don't have to buy them anymore. That is also different. I'm trying to think of new traditions I can do now that the kids are all growing up. They don't care about the Night before Christmas story, and the Christmas movies.
So far we have a busy month filling up. We have a couple parties and probably more on the way I don't know about yet. So far it's spread out pretty good and I'm not hosting any of them. Yay me!
The weather has gotten cold here in Utah. The snow has fallen and blanketed the mountains, bringing joy to all the skiers. We had more snow yesterday than today and are expecting another storm on Thursday. Yay! People need to remember how to drive in it though. Already so many accidents. Slow down people!! I do like the serenity that a snow storm brings. I find it so peaceful to just sit and watch it fall around me. It's so beautiful during the storm and seems to be so quiet while it's falling. Being in the mountains while it storms is the best. Not being much of a skier I wish it would snow only in the mountains and not in the valley ever. That would be great!!!
Long day at work but it seems as though the evening is just speeding right along. I still haven't gotten my tree up. I usually do it Thanksgiving weekend. Oh well. I'm also putting the tree downstairs this year so that will be different as well.
It's also the first year I don't have to buy toys for any of the kids living here. Konner and Kade will get a toy but otherwise I don't have to buy them anymore. That is also different. I'm trying to think of new traditions I can do now that the kids are all growing up. They don't care about the Night before Christmas story, and the Christmas movies.
So far we have a busy month filling up. We have a couple parties and probably more on the way I don't know about yet. So far it's spread out pretty good and I'm not hosting any of them. Yay me!
The weather has gotten cold here in Utah. The snow has fallen and blanketed the mountains, bringing joy to all the skiers. We had more snow yesterday than today and are expecting another storm on Thursday. Yay! People need to remember how to drive in it though. Already so many accidents. Slow down people!! I do like the serenity that a snow storm brings. I find it so peaceful to just sit and watch it fall around me. It's so beautiful during the storm and seems to be so quiet while it's falling. Being in the mountains while it storms is the best. Not being much of a skier I wish it would snow only in the mountains and not in the valley ever. That would be great!!!
Monday, November 21, 2016
Monday
November 21, 2016...
Today has been wet all day. With the wet of course also comes cold with dark gray clouds spread before us. This is not my weather. I need sunshine for at least a bit. I cannot have dark all day long, it makes me want to roll up in a blanket and climb back into bed. I of course had to work all day. Traffic was traffic in Utah. Everyone panicking because there is water on the roads.. looking forward to the snow.
Once at work I always feel as though the prison doors have just closed. Chain myself to my desk and I'm there for the long haul. I wish I made more money. I know I don't do much of anything but I feel since I'm chained to the computer (or more accurately the phone) I should get paid more for my time. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to move up. Maybe when J starts going to school out here I can find a job that is closer and I won't have to worry about traffic so much. For now though I hate it and no matter how I try, I always make it home with plenty of road rage. The flip side to that though is that I'm always so grateful to see my house that I can barely stand it. I'm pretty sure I'm a hermit.
The fam is all doing good. Thanksgiving is coming up and we are doing our annual two dinners. Wish us luck. I'm really needing to get all the fixings and not really sure when I'm gonna get money to do it. Hoping I get a deposit tomorrow so that the shopping will happen. Otherwise people might have to bring more than they really want.
I wish I could find some energy. Energy drinks and coffee don't really seem to do anything for me since I have Dr. Pepper for blood. Ha! I need to be working out and I also need to be cleaning my house getting ready for everyone to get here. I know it will all go over great and I'm hoping we don't get any bed bugs from them. Maybe we can vacuum the furniture and floors when they leave in hopes nothing survives long enough to lay eggs. Good times!!
Today has been wet all day. With the wet of course also comes cold with dark gray clouds spread before us. This is not my weather. I need sunshine for at least a bit. I cannot have dark all day long, it makes me want to roll up in a blanket and climb back into bed. I of course had to work all day. Traffic was traffic in Utah. Everyone panicking because there is water on the roads.. looking forward to the snow.
Once at work I always feel as though the prison doors have just closed. Chain myself to my desk and I'm there for the long haul. I wish I made more money. I know I don't do much of anything but I feel since I'm chained to the computer (or more accurately the phone) I should get paid more for my time. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to move up. Maybe when J starts going to school out here I can find a job that is closer and I won't have to worry about traffic so much. For now though I hate it and no matter how I try, I always make it home with plenty of road rage. The flip side to that though is that I'm always so grateful to see my house that I can barely stand it. I'm pretty sure I'm a hermit.
The fam is all doing good. Thanksgiving is coming up and we are doing our annual two dinners. Wish us luck. I'm really needing to get all the fixings and not really sure when I'm gonna get money to do it. Hoping I get a deposit tomorrow so that the shopping will happen. Otherwise people might have to bring more than they really want.
I wish I could find some energy. Energy drinks and coffee don't really seem to do anything for me since I have Dr. Pepper for blood. Ha! I need to be working out and I also need to be cleaning my house getting ready for everyone to get here. I know it will all go over great and I'm hoping we don't get any bed bugs from them. Maybe we can vacuum the furniture and floors when they leave in hopes nothing survives long enough to lay eggs. Good times!!
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Sunday
November 20, 2016...
Having a perfectly lovely day doing nothing. I should be out pulling weeds and covering it with top soil but I have no money. I'm tired of having no money. I need to get off my butt and start doing some of the paid writing jobs in my time at home. I could use my sitting on Netflix wasting my life time. Some of them that I have seen pay 20 a month some are 50 and up. If I could get a few a month I could have some extra money to get bills paid and a savings built up again.
The weekend goes way to fast. Last night we had my work Christmas party. It was pretty good. It was at the Hilton and we had Chicken, roast tips, mashed potatoes, vegies, salad and cheesecake or chocolate mousse cake. That one was too rich for me but the cheesecake was delicious. There was a magician but I didn't think he was as good as the hypnotist they had last year. He was awesome. I got picked in the drawing and got $100 gift card. We then went to one of our friends Birthday/house warming party. He was pretty toasted by the time we got there. They have a lovely house. It has a castle in the backyard for the kids made of wood. It has a huge yard and space for a garden. We are happy for them.
Got home late and slept in til almost noon. I have done laundry and got a roast in the crock pot but otherwise haven't done much of anything. I worked out a little bit but get frustrated at how quickly I run out of breath. I am so out of shape. I need to keep at it if I want to see results though.
Thanksgiving is this week and we have the Kern clan coming over as usual. It's MiMis birthday on the 27th so I probably should bake her a cake, either that or I'll make B and J make some like they did last time we had the combo party. We will be serving dinner for about 25 or more people and I hope we have enough time to get all the food. I'm praying I get paid a day early so I can go to the store and get the vegies and whip cream and more pies to feed everyone. I have already bought the rolls and a few pies, plus the olives. Holidays are so expensive. Hopefully I'll somehow win some more gift cards in the next couple days. I may at this point be able to get K's entire Christmas free with the gift cards I have saved so far.
Having a perfectly lovely day doing nothing. I should be out pulling weeds and covering it with top soil but I have no money. I'm tired of having no money. I need to get off my butt and start doing some of the paid writing jobs in my time at home. I could use my sitting on Netflix wasting my life time. Some of them that I have seen pay 20 a month some are 50 and up. If I could get a few a month I could have some extra money to get bills paid and a savings built up again.
The weekend goes way to fast. Last night we had my work Christmas party. It was pretty good. It was at the Hilton and we had Chicken, roast tips, mashed potatoes, vegies, salad and cheesecake or chocolate mousse cake. That one was too rich for me but the cheesecake was delicious. There was a magician but I didn't think he was as good as the hypnotist they had last year. He was awesome. I got picked in the drawing and got $100 gift card. We then went to one of our friends Birthday/house warming party. He was pretty toasted by the time we got there. They have a lovely house. It has a castle in the backyard for the kids made of wood. It has a huge yard and space for a garden. We are happy for them.
Got home late and slept in til almost noon. I have done laundry and got a roast in the crock pot but otherwise haven't done much of anything. I worked out a little bit but get frustrated at how quickly I run out of breath. I am so out of shape. I need to keep at it if I want to see results though.
Thanksgiving is this week and we have the Kern clan coming over as usual. It's MiMis birthday on the 27th so I probably should bake her a cake, either that or I'll make B and J make some like they did last time we had the combo party. We will be serving dinner for about 25 or more people and I hope we have enough time to get all the food. I'm praying I get paid a day early so I can go to the store and get the vegies and whip cream and more pies to feed everyone. I have already bought the rolls and a few pies, plus the olives. Holidays are so expensive. Hopefully I'll somehow win some more gift cards in the next couple days. I may at this point be able to get K's entire Christmas free with the gift cards I have saved so far.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Saturday
November 19, 2016....
Today is a beautiful fall day. In fact if there weren't fall leaves blowing all over the lawn it would seem like spring as mello as the temperatures are. I have had the house all to myself today as my love has been helping a friend get ready to move into a new place of his own. I've spent it cleaning and getting ready to go to my work holiday party tonight. I can't believe it's even time for that yet. I haven't bought anybody anything for Christmas yet. I don't even know what to buy for my love. He likes getting tools but I'm not really sure what tools he still needs. I can't afford a table saw although he would love one. I'll think of something. J is getting so big and she just wants stuff for her bedroom and maybe clothes or jewelry and makeup. I'm not sure about the makeup she's still so young but for her birthday she gets a phone and I just got her set up on facebook, under my email so I know who is trying to friend her but otherwise I like sending her pics of cute animals. Plus it gives me another way to get in touch with her. She can text me on messenger. Technology today. When I was a kid I had a phone with a cord and although I could reach it into my room my parents could always listen in on the line upstairs which also was attached to the wall. Ahhh the good old days when you could slam the phone down on someone.
Today has been lovely having time just to myself. I haven't done much cleaning but I'm sure my love won't care and it does look better than when he left. I think all he cares about is that he doesn't have to do it all. He can come home from work and have dinner to eat and not have to make it or go get it. He can have a clean house without having to do all the work himself. He likes that. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me.
I love the holidays starting with my favorite holiday Halloween but I really don't like the stress of having no money for gifts. Maybe someday I'll be debt free and be able to have a lovely Christmas but until then I'm not racking up more debt just for presents. We will make due again this year and hope for a more financially stable year next year. That's coming up soon and always makes me feel like there's hope for a better future.
I sure miss T. He's living his life in Oregon and I guess he's happy but I haven't heard from him so who knows. Miss his face and his smile and his help with dishes and chores. Hope he's doing good and being happy.
The rest of us are all just waiting for Thanksgiving. Gobble Gobble good stuff,.
Today is a beautiful fall day. In fact if there weren't fall leaves blowing all over the lawn it would seem like spring as mello as the temperatures are. I have had the house all to myself today as my love has been helping a friend get ready to move into a new place of his own. I've spent it cleaning and getting ready to go to my work holiday party tonight. I can't believe it's even time for that yet. I haven't bought anybody anything for Christmas yet. I don't even know what to buy for my love. He likes getting tools but I'm not really sure what tools he still needs. I can't afford a table saw although he would love one. I'll think of something. J is getting so big and she just wants stuff for her bedroom and maybe clothes or jewelry and makeup. I'm not sure about the makeup she's still so young but for her birthday she gets a phone and I just got her set up on facebook, under my email so I know who is trying to friend her but otherwise I like sending her pics of cute animals. Plus it gives me another way to get in touch with her. She can text me on messenger. Technology today. When I was a kid I had a phone with a cord and although I could reach it into my room my parents could always listen in on the line upstairs which also was attached to the wall. Ahhh the good old days when you could slam the phone down on someone.
Today has been lovely having time just to myself. I haven't done much cleaning but I'm sure my love won't care and it does look better than when he left. I think all he cares about is that he doesn't have to do it all. He can come home from work and have dinner to eat and not have to make it or go get it. He can have a clean house without having to do all the work himself. He likes that. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me.
I love the holidays starting with my favorite holiday Halloween but I really don't like the stress of having no money for gifts. Maybe someday I'll be debt free and be able to have a lovely Christmas but until then I'm not racking up more debt just for presents. We will make due again this year and hope for a more financially stable year next year. That's coming up soon and always makes me feel like there's hope for a better future.
I sure miss T. He's living his life in Oregon and I guess he's happy but I haven't heard from him so who knows. Miss his face and his smile and his help with dishes and chores. Hope he's doing good and being happy.
The rest of us are all just waiting for Thanksgiving. Gobble Gobble good stuff,.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Tuesday
November 15, 2016...
Another day gone. Glad to be getting closer to the weekend again. I don't have many plans just the holiday party for my work. It's at the Hilton. Free food and entertainment. should be fun if the magician is anything like the guy they had last year. He was a hypnotist. It was a hoot.
Thanksgiving is next week. We will of course have a full house yet again this year. Even more full than last year. I'm almost glad we do a second dinner just so I can have some peace. This year we may be going to three dinners which I really don't like doing. It's just to much. I don't know why we can't either do every other year or something. I get tired of having to have two or three of everything just to spend the holidays with the whole family.
Everything is good here. B might come home this semester and work to save money for school. She doesn't have the money to pay for this semester let alone next. Hopefully she will see reason and go to SLCC for a while. It would be a smart move. K is still leaving here and doesn't seem to be making any head way in leaving. Guess I'm gonna need to talk to him again about the whole thing.
After the holidays I guess we are raising the rent and hopefully that will give him the incentive to get moved out and on his own. I would be happy if he would just get a full time job so he can start supporting himself. Why aren't kids as excited to be on their own as I was? I couldn't wait to have my own life. Guess I'm not as bad a parent, they don't want to get away from me. ha ha
Another day gone. Glad to be getting closer to the weekend again. I don't have many plans just the holiday party for my work. It's at the Hilton. Free food and entertainment. should be fun if the magician is anything like the guy they had last year. He was a hypnotist. It was a hoot.
Thanksgiving is next week. We will of course have a full house yet again this year. Even more full than last year. I'm almost glad we do a second dinner just so I can have some peace. This year we may be going to three dinners which I really don't like doing. It's just to much. I don't know why we can't either do every other year or something. I get tired of having to have two or three of everything just to spend the holidays with the whole family.
Everything is good here. B might come home this semester and work to save money for school. She doesn't have the money to pay for this semester let alone next. Hopefully she will see reason and go to SLCC for a while. It would be a smart move. K is still leaving here and doesn't seem to be making any head way in leaving. Guess I'm gonna need to talk to him again about the whole thing.
After the holidays I guess we are raising the rent and hopefully that will give him the incentive to get moved out and on his own. I would be happy if he would just get a full time job so he can start supporting himself. Why aren't kids as excited to be on their own as I was? I couldn't wait to have my own life. Guess I'm not as bad a parent, they don't want to get away from me. ha ha
Friday, November 11, 2016
Friday
November 11, 2016....
It's Veterans day today so needless to say I got off work at 9:50. Half my shift and only took about 12 calls. Such a good time. Not! It does however leave me time to sit and think about all the things I would rather be doing at home. Sleeping.... cleaning.... scrapbooking.... pulling weeds... that's my brain all day long.
Now I am home and hoping to get something done before I have to go and get my J from school. I almost went and checked her out but didn't know if she was working on anything important today so I decided against it. I'll get something done and then go get her.
Today is a beautiful fall day. The sun in shining. The sky is blue and cloudless. The smog is in place huddled down close over the valley. The temperatures today are supposed to reach 68 with a low tonight of 42 and more sun tomorrow. I hope this last all into December. I can do without winter. There are some people in the world who have never seen snow. I envy them. I guess it's pretty but then it gets dirty and gross looking. It's cold and icy and dangerous. Plus you have to wear coats to stay warm and they are so bulky. Especially when you are in the car driving. I dislike it. I so much prefer the sunshine and warmth of spring and summer.
Thanksgiving is coming up in two weeks. I've no idea what we are going to do with my mom or if we are even having people over from my loves family. Maybe I can just invite my mom to my house and call it a day. Hope we get info on it soon because I have to do the shopping.
The election was held the other day and Trump took it. It was bittersweet. I'm scared he doesn't know how to be President but on the other hand did not want Clinton. I'm over it though and willing to give him a chance. The Clinton supporters however, are sitting around crying, unable to handle that their candidate didn't win. They want a do over. Or lets get rid of the electoral college just so we can try and win that way. People are so distraught and it's ridiculous. Nobody acted like this when Obama was elected the second time. Ya there was unhappy people, but again, no riots. No hate crimes and burning of the flag. It's embarrassing to our country. I just want to reiterate that I dislike people. Not all people just most of them. No certain race. I dislike them equally. But it's exactly these reasons that I am like that. They say Trump is violent and racist yet the Clinton supporters are out vandalizing, threatening him, burning the flag, degrading whites simply because they are white so the "assume" we all voted for Trump. Guess what all white people did not vote for Trump, but I myself know several people of different race who did vote for him. Why is it that anyone can be racist against whites and it's ok? I just want them all to shut up and realize he is the president and they cannot act like that. You are free to your opinion but you are not free to push it onto the rest of humanity. We all share that right. Now that Clinton is out of the picture we can rest assured that at least for now our constitution will remain in tact. While I didn't vote for him I am willing to move on and give him a shot to make some changes. We will pray they are for the better and not the worse.
It's Veterans day today so needless to say I got off work at 9:50. Half my shift and only took about 12 calls. Such a good time. Not! It does however leave me time to sit and think about all the things I would rather be doing at home. Sleeping.... cleaning.... scrapbooking.... pulling weeds... that's my brain all day long.
Now I am home and hoping to get something done before I have to go and get my J from school. I almost went and checked her out but didn't know if she was working on anything important today so I decided against it. I'll get something done and then go get her.
Today is a beautiful fall day. The sun in shining. The sky is blue and cloudless. The smog is in place huddled down close over the valley. The temperatures today are supposed to reach 68 with a low tonight of 42 and more sun tomorrow. I hope this last all into December. I can do without winter. There are some people in the world who have never seen snow. I envy them. I guess it's pretty but then it gets dirty and gross looking. It's cold and icy and dangerous. Plus you have to wear coats to stay warm and they are so bulky. Especially when you are in the car driving. I dislike it. I so much prefer the sunshine and warmth of spring and summer.
Thanksgiving is coming up in two weeks. I've no idea what we are going to do with my mom or if we are even having people over from my loves family. Maybe I can just invite my mom to my house and call it a day. Hope we get info on it soon because I have to do the shopping.
The election was held the other day and Trump took it. It was bittersweet. I'm scared he doesn't know how to be President but on the other hand did not want Clinton. I'm over it though and willing to give him a chance. The Clinton supporters however, are sitting around crying, unable to handle that their candidate didn't win. They want a do over. Or lets get rid of the electoral college just so we can try and win that way. People are so distraught and it's ridiculous. Nobody acted like this when Obama was elected the second time. Ya there was unhappy people, but again, no riots. No hate crimes and burning of the flag. It's embarrassing to our country. I just want to reiterate that I dislike people. Not all people just most of them. No certain race. I dislike them equally. But it's exactly these reasons that I am like that. They say Trump is violent and racist yet the Clinton supporters are out vandalizing, threatening him, burning the flag, degrading whites simply because they are white so the "assume" we all voted for Trump. Guess what all white people did not vote for Trump, but I myself know several people of different race who did vote for him. Why is it that anyone can be racist against whites and it's ok? I just want them all to shut up and realize he is the president and they cannot act like that. You are free to your opinion but you are not free to push it onto the rest of humanity. We all share that right. Now that Clinton is out of the picture we can rest assured that at least for now our constitution will remain in tact. While I didn't vote for him I am willing to move on and give him a shot to make some changes. We will pray they are for the better and not the worse.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Monday..
November 7, 2016....
Welcome to Monday and what a Monday it has been. We were busy at work and for awhile I had to take the other call type that I hate taking, it actually wasn't too bad today and I got a lot of calls for the time I was on them so it made time fly. They switched me back about an hour later and took my own calls the rest of my shift. Hopefully that will leave me safe the rest of this week. We shall see they haven't been rotating very well lately. Made it through my entire shift and wasn't feeling sick until I came home. Good timing I guess.
The time change happened this weekend and I tell you I really despise having the sun going down at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. It was getting so low already it was in my eyes blinding me the entire drive home. I like night time but I don't like the constant dark. Early nights, gray clouds, cold, ice, wet, dangerous... oh how I dislike winter. Today it was a pleasant 62 degrees here in Utah and although I spend most of my time indoors freezing to death it was nice while driving home. I dropped off my ballot and hit the freeway and it wasn't as bad as it usually is but I'm thinking that I probably just got there in between accidents. Yay me!
Now I am home and have to make dinner which isn't really thrilling me. I don't want to clean up the kitchen and cook dinner so that I can clean up the kitchen again. I'm too lazy. Wish I could tell a robot what to make and it would just do it for me. Wouldn't that be nice?
Glad today is over and already can't wait for tomorrow to be over as well. It's gonna be crazy finally knowing which special person is going to win the election this year. Will we be the laughing stock of the world or will be utterly screwed over with the demon witch? We will all have to stay tuned to find out but to tell the truth although I didn't give my vote to either of them, I'm hoping that Trump (I don't think my person stands a chance) will beat Hillary. I really, really hate her. Even her husband chooses other people ha ha anyway that's just my opinion and I'm nobody so I realize it doesn't matter but there it is. On the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens as I'm sure everyone in the world is. Tomorrow will surely be legendary our downfall or our downfall.... fun.
I'll still be doing my usual. Working for nothing, picking up my daughter, and coming home to vegetate in my home until I'm forced to leave for another day of servitude. Oh us Americans know how to live don't we?
Welcome to Monday and what a Monday it has been. We were busy at work and for awhile I had to take the other call type that I hate taking, it actually wasn't too bad today and I got a lot of calls for the time I was on them so it made time fly. They switched me back about an hour later and took my own calls the rest of my shift. Hopefully that will leave me safe the rest of this week. We shall see they haven't been rotating very well lately. Made it through my entire shift and wasn't feeling sick until I came home. Good timing I guess.
The time change happened this weekend and I tell you I really despise having the sun going down at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. It was getting so low already it was in my eyes blinding me the entire drive home. I like night time but I don't like the constant dark. Early nights, gray clouds, cold, ice, wet, dangerous... oh how I dislike winter. Today it was a pleasant 62 degrees here in Utah and although I spend most of my time indoors freezing to death it was nice while driving home. I dropped off my ballot and hit the freeway and it wasn't as bad as it usually is but I'm thinking that I probably just got there in between accidents. Yay me!
Now I am home and have to make dinner which isn't really thrilling me. I don't want to clean up the kitchen and cook dinner so that I can clean up the kitchen again. I'm too lazy. Wish I could tell a robot what to make and it would just do it for me. Wouldn't that be nice?
Glad today is over and already can't wait for tomorrow to be over as well. It's gonna be crazy finally knowing which special person is going to win the election this year. Will we be the laughing stock of the world or will be utterly screwed over with the demon witch? We will all have to stay tuned to find out but to tell the truth although I didn't give my vote to either of them, I'm hoping that Trump (I don't think my person stands a chance) will beat Hillary. I really, really hate her. Even her husband chooses other people ha ha anyway that's just my opinion and I'm nobody so I realize it doesn't matter but there it is. On the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens as I'm sure everyone in the world is. Tomorrow will surely be legendary our downfall or our downfall.... fun.
I'll still be doing my usual. Working for nothing, picking up my daughter, and coming home to vegetate in my home until I'm forced to leave for another day of servitude. Oh us Americans know how to live don't we?
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Sunday
November 6, 2016....
A very lazy weekend. We haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone. Watched a movie Friday night from redbox. cleaned yesterday and watched a movie on Netflix. Today I pretty much laid around all day watching criminal minds. I kindof regret not doing something but oh well there is always tomorrow I suppose.
The girl will be home in a few hours and then it'll be the start of the weekly grind. I'm already looking forward to next Friday. I don't think you should really hate your job so bad that you ruin your weekend dreading it to come. Oh well nothing is perfect in this crazy world
A very lazy weekend. We haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone. Watched a movie Friday night from redbox. cleaned yesterday and watched a movie on Netflix. Today I pretty much laid around all day watching criminal minds. I kindof regret not doing something but oh well there is always tomorrow I suppose.
The girl will be home in a few hours and then it'll be the start of the weekly grind. I'm already looking forward to next Friday. I don't think you should really hate your job so bad that you ruin your weekend dreading it to come. Oh well nothing is perfect in this crazy world
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Saturday
November 5, 2016....
In just a couple days the madness will end and we will have a new president for worse or worst. I
don't like either of the choices but feel she's the worst one. She had her chance while her husband was in office and busy screwing his interns. Even he was choosing someone else. He's probably not even voting for her. Im not. I did register to vote but I don't know where to go and I never got any confirmation that I registered. I'll have to ask my mom because she will know. They said they had to
use what was on your drivers license so that's her address.
Fall is here and the leaves are making my yard feel like thanksgiving. I'm not sure what we are doing as far as my mom. I feel like she should be able to go to dinner with me at my brothers house but she doesn't like being around my dad and his wife. Forgive and let go I say. I love thanksgiving
and cooking Dinner and hosting dinner. I love that my love doesn't just sleep on the couch all day only getting up to eat and then retreat for a nap before eating dessert and going back to sleep while I do I'll the cooking and the clean up. He helps clean the house sparkly and helps cook the turkey and all the other sides.
I must admit I unblocked my ex and got on his facebook the other day. I wanted to know if he was friends with J on hers. I don't want him seeing anything to do with me. I don't even like him being by my property when he picks her up and drops her off. I found it intriguing how he has been to slcc and how he posts things about how if someone is a cheater they are in a relationship when the one who isn't cheating is trying to pick up the pieces and heal. I wondered if he was hurt by someone and I hoped he was. Can't wait to block him again but I have to wait until tomorrow. I never realized how much damage he had done to me until L showed me. I'm glad I have finally gotten the help I needed and am feeling better and more courageous to defend myself when needed.
The holidays are upon us and it's making me feel really grateful for many things. I haven't been playing the game on facebook but may do so the last week or so before Thanksgiving. I can tell you I have been thankful for so many things lately and first and foremost that is my love. He is not only gorgeous and sexy, but he is funny, smart productive a most wonderful provider, takes really good care of me both when I am sick and when I am well. He doesn't judge me when I make mistakes and he is always ready to hold me in his arms. He comes home from a long day at work and doesn't just expect dinner and fall asleep on the couch. He helps make dinner. He asks how my day was. He asks J how her day was. He gives me a big hug and kiss and I welcome it. I am grateful for his constant help around the house and for his listening ear when I need it and his helping hand when I need that as well. I am grateful for his never ending love for me. I am grateful for my children and even when we don't see eye to eye I'm am proud of them all. T is doing good in Oregon. K still doesn't have full time but is working more hours and paying his phone bill steadily, as well as his rent. I need to break the news that if he's still living here in January the rent is going up. My love wants to raise it to 400 but I think 300 is fine. That gives me 50 dollars help with groceries and 50 dollars for his phone then 200 dollars to help with the mortgage. So far I am keeping 100 and he is only getting 100 to help with the rent. It's just not enough. (or so he says)
I'm hoping for Christmas to spend at least 50 on all the kids. I'm talking the big ones because J will probably have a little more spent on her since she still (at the age of 11) believes in Santa. There are some things she has asked for like a bed set and stuff to decorate and organize her room. She's getting so big she didn't ask for any toys at all. It's like she's a teenager already.
Last year I think we were able to get them all some money but I wanted to do more than just the stockings. Although I still want to have the stockings for them too. This year I want to be even more prepared for Christmas by having a brunch. J is with her Dad and won't be home until around 11. We get to sleep in. I'm psyched. I may go and get my mother though and have her come for a bit and eat with us. Then I would like to also have maybe (don't know if I'll be up to it emotionally or financially) but a Christmas party with my loves family would be fun. I want to get his mom something she will like. Something Elvis or Froggy. Her apartment complex is infested with bed bugs and they aren't doing anything about it. I feel like calling the board of health to go and check it out. I find it to be disgusting. Even if we pay to have her apartment treated it's all over so she'll just get them again. I don't want them again ever!!!
I am also grateful for my home. My love and I try to keep it clean as we can and since it's a mansion compared to what I am used to it is not cluttered like my other homes were. It is refreshing to come home each day and I am grateful every day that we were able to get it. I think the best thing about it though is that it is mine with my love. This is where he comes home each night. I love him.
I'm grateful for my job even though it frustrates me and the insurance and atmosphere is going down hill. They can't keep tenured employees and I think my team has the most tenured employees in the building beside custom and leadership. Sad I think. It used to be fun. I'm grateful for Jesus dying for my sins on the cross so that I too may be forgiven. I'm grateful for prayer and for him giving me my love when I asked for him to give me who he made for me. I'll never leave him ever. He'll have to leave me because as far as I'm concerned he's my better half and I can't live without him. I'll have more to tell you about my gratitude as the days go on. Right now Im grateful for the wine I've probably had too much of...
In just a couple days the madness will end and we will have a new president for worse or worst. I
don't like either of the choices but feel she's the worst one. She had her chance while her husband was in office and busy screwing his interns. Even he was choosing someone else. He's probably not even voting for her. Im not. I did register to vote but I don't know where to go and I never got any confirmation that I registered. I'll have to ask my mom because she will know. They said they had to
use what was on your drivers license so that's her address.
Fall is here and the leaves are making my yard feel like thanksgiving. I'm not sure what we are doing as far as my mom. I feel like she should be able to go to dinner with me at my brothers house but she doesn't like being around my dad and his wife. Forgive and let go I say. I love thanksgiving
and cooking Dinner and hosting dinner. I love that my love doesn't just sleep on the couch all day only getting up to eat and then retreat for a nap before eating dessert and going back to sleep while I do I'll the cooking and the clean up. He helps clean the house sparkly and helps cook the turkey and all the other sides.
I must admit I unblocked my ex and got on his facebook the other day. I wanted to know if he was friends with J on hers. I don't want him seeing anything to do with me. I don't even like him being by my property when he picks her up and drops her off. I found it intriguing how he has been to slcc and how he posts things about how if someone is a cheater they are in a relationship when the one who isn't cheating is trying to pick up the pieces and heal. I wondered if he was hurt by someone and I hoped he was. Can't wait to block him again but I have to wait until tomorrow. I never realized how much damage he had done to me until L showed me. I'm glad I have finally gotten the help I needed and am feeling better and more courageous to defend myself when needed.
The holidays are upon us and it's making me feel really grateful for many things. I haven't been playing the game on facebook but may do so the last week or so before Thanksgiving. I can tell you I have been thankful for so many things lately and first and foremost that is my love. He is not only gorgeous and sexy, but he is funny, smart productive a most wonderful provider, takes really good care of me both when I am sick and when I am well. He doesn't judge me when I make mistakes and he is always ready to hold me in his arms. He comes home from a long day at work and doesn't just expect dinner and fall asleep on the couch. He helps make dinner. He asks how my day was. He asks J how her day was. He gives me a big hug and kiss and I welcome it. I am grateful for his constant help around the house and for his listening ear when I need it and his helping hand when I need that as well. I am grateful for his never ending love for me. I am grateful for my children and even when we don't see eye to eye I'm am proud of them all. T is doing good in Oregon. K still doesn't have full time but is working more hours and paying his phone bill steadily, as well as his rent. I need to break the news that if he's still living here in January the rent is going up. My love wants to raise it to 400 but I think 300 is fine. That gives me 50 dollars help with groceries and 50 dollars for his phone then 200 dollars to help with the mortgage. So far I am keeping 100 and he is only getting 100 to help with the rent. It's just not enough. (or so he says)
I'm hoping for Christmas to spend at least 50 on all the kids. I'm talking the big ones because J will probably have a little more spent on her since she still (at the age of 11) believes in Santa. There are some things she has asked for like a bed set and stuff to decorate and organize her room. She's getting so big she didn't ask for any toys at all. It's like she's a teenager already.
Last year I think we were able to get them all some money but I wanted to do more than just the stockings. Although I still want to have the stockings for them too. This year I want to be even more prepared for Christmas by having a brunch. J is with her Dad and won't be home until around 11. We get to sleep in. I'm psyched. I may go and get my mother though and have her come for a bit and eat with us. Then I would like to also have maybe (don't know if I'll be up to it emotionally or financially) but a Christmas party with my loves family would be fun. I want to get his mom something she will like. Something Elvis or Froggy. Her apartment complex is infested with bed bugs and they aren't doing anything about it. I feel like calling the board of health to go and check it out. I find it to be disgusting. Even if we pay to have her apartment treated it's all over so she'll just get them again. I don't want them again ever!!!
I am also grateful for my home. My love and I try to keep it clean as we can and since it's a mansion compared to what I am used to it is not cluttered like my other homes were. It is refreshing to come home each day and I am grateful every day that we were able to get it. I think the best thing about it though is that it is mine with my love. This is where he comes home each night. I love him.
I'm grateful for my job even though it frustrates me and the insurance and atmosphere is going down hill. They can't keep tenured employees and I think my team has the most tenured employees in the building beside custom and leadership. Sad I think. It used to be fun. I'm grateful for Jesus dying for my sins on the cross so that I too may be forgiven. I'm grateful for prayer and for him giving me my love when I asked for him to give me who he made for me. I'll never leave him ever. He'll have to leave me because as far as I'm concerned he's my better half and I can't live without him. I'll have more to tell you about my gratitude as the days go on. Right now Im grateful for the wine I've probably had too much of...
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Tuesday
November 1, 2016.....
Can't believe it's only Tuesday because after the day I have had it feels like it should be a Thursday.
It was back to back calls all day long. Non stop. All day. I really think I am spoiled with the call type I'm on but I still held through I think. I think there was only a few that really got to me but the afternoon calls I turned it around. I need a new job.
November begins today and I'm really thinking it will be over if I blink to long. I cannot believe how quick the days fly by. Im so happy to have my house back. I miss my T and hope that he is doing good but I love having my craft/family room. I love the space and love being able to go and scrapbook again. I can't believe I've had my house back for 2 months now. Yay me!
Finances are yet again downhill this week and I need to go get stuff to take a salad to work tomorrow for a potluck. Hot dogs. oh boy. I don't know why we have to do these things each month. It gets really expensive. I also need to run to the dollar store to get two mugs for the united way auction basket for work. At least they aren't doing the angel tree again or that would be due this week as well. All proceeds go to United way and we donate tens of thousands every year. I believe last year company wide we donated hundreds of thousands because each center does its own thing and the plants do their own thing as well. It feels good and I never know when I'm gonna need help so Im happy to pitch in.
Other than money things here are good. K is still living in the basement though and I don't know what to tell him to do. He needs to get out making his life. I love him but I can't support them forever.
Can't believe it's only Tuesday because after the day I have had it feels like it should be a Thursday.
It was back to back calls all day long. Non stop. All day. I really think I am spoiled with the call type I'm on but I still held through I think. I think there was only a few that really got to me but the afternoon calls I turned it around. I need a new job.
November begins today and I'm really thinking it will be over if I blink to long. I cannot believe how quick the days fly by. Im so happy to have my house back. I miss my T and hope that he is doing good but I love having my craft/family room. I love the space and love being able to go and scrapbook again. I can't believe I've had my house back for 2 months now. Yay me!
Finances are yet again downhill this week and I need to go get stuff to take a salad to work tomorrow for a potluck. Hot dogs. oh boy. I don't know why we have to do these things each month. It gets really expensive. I also need to run to the dollar store to get two mugs for the united way auction basket for work. At least they aren't doing the angel tree again or that would be due this week as well. All proceeds go to United way and we donate tens of thousands every year. I believe last year company wide we donated hundreds of thousands because each center does its own thing and the plants do their own thing as well. It feels good and I never know when I'm gonna need help so Im happy to pitch in.
Other than money things here are good. K is still living in the basement though and I don't know what to tell him to do. He needs to get out making his life. I love him but I can't support them forever.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Sunday
October 30, 2016...
So here we are. Made it through the Halloween party. It was a huge success and there were only a couple people who didn't show up. Everyone loved my food and the kids seemed to have fun doing the game. Although they didn't really do the whole dice rolling thing right. Maybe it would be funner if they had I don't know. Either way they still seemed to enjoy it.
All in all it was a really good time and nice memories. My love had wood for the firepit and we never even lit it so Im thinking perhaps tonight for a bit. Maybe have a glass of wine and sit out by the fire for awhile. I'm so sad I have to work tomorrow and have to miss J's last Halloween parade.
Where did our weekend go. I swear it was just Friday!!
So here we are. Made it through the Halloween party. It was a huge success and there were only a couple people who didn't show up. Everyone loved my food and the kids seemed to have fun doing the game. Although they didn't really do the whole dice rolling thing right. Maybe it would be funner if they had I don't know. Either way they still seemed to enjoy it.
All in all it was a really good time and nice memories. My love had wood for the firepit and we never even lit it so Im thinking perhaps tonight for a bit. Maybe have a glass of wine and sit out by the fire for awhile. I'm so sad I have to work tomorrow and have to miss J's last Halloween parade.
Where did our weekend go. I swear it was just Friday!!
Friday, October 28, 2016
Friday
October 28, 2016....
Welcome to Friday, Halloween party eve. There are lots of preparations to be done to be ready for the party. I'm not really doing any of them. We are having so many people over that I'm starting to be a little overwhelmed. I have to finish decorating but the wind keeps blowing everything around. I have to go over to the liquor store for wine and I have to go grocery shopping so I can make the cupcakes and then have everything ready to start the soups tomorrow. I don't want to have to shop tomorrow.
I also have to carve pumpkins with the girl and finish the game ball for the kids at the party. I'm not sure which movie to play for the kids but I think that Hotel Transylvania 2 is what we will start with and then either Casper or Wallace and Grommet the Were rabbit. I hope that they all have fun.
I know I'll enjoy myself. I'm hoping that everyone doesn't stay forever I'd rather it just be a few people til late. We so far have 20 adults and 15 children if everyone comes that said they were. I won't be hurt if there are fewer people or if people leave kids at home but with my luck there will just be more people. I'm not going to let the anxiety get to me though. one of the kids is a baby. Most are small. They have a game to play and movie to watch plus food to eat. Hope they all have fun.
I will be happy when it is over and then if the rest of the holidays can just whiz by that would be great. Im a humbug grouch lately. I never have money to celebrate how I would like. So guess what? Id rather not celebrate at all. Loving that it is Friday and the weekend is here. Wish I didn't work Monday but who knows maybe next year. Ha Ha next year is seriously like 10 weeks away. I'm hoping that it will be a much better one financially and that we can get the debt under control and paid off even. Those are the dreams of us all
Welcome to Friday, Halloween party eve. There are lots of preparations to be done to be ready for the party. I'm not really doing any of them. We are having so many people over that I'm starting to be a little overwhelmed. I have to finish decorating but the wind keeps blowing everything around. I have to go over to the liquor store for wine and I have to go grocery shopping so I can make the cupcakes and then have everything ready to start the soups tomorrow. I don't want to have to shop tomorrow.
I also have to carve pumpkins with the girl and finish the game ball for the kids at the party. I'm not sure which movie to play for the kids but I think that Hotel Transylvania 2 is what we will start with and then either Casper or Wallace and Grommet the Were rabbit. I hope that they all have fun.
I know I'll enjoy myself. I'm hoping that everyone doesn't stay forever I'd rather it just be a few people til late. We so far have 20 adults and 15 children if everyone comes that said they were. I won't be hurt if there are fewer people or if people leave kids at home but with my luck there will just be more people. I'm not going to let the anxiety get to me though. one of the kids is a baby. Most are small. They have a game to play and movie to watch plus food to eat. Hope they all have fun.
I will be happy when it is over and then if the rest of the holidays can just whiz by that would be great. Im a humbug grouch lately. I never have money to celebrate how I would like. So guess what? Id rather not celebrate at all. Loving that it is Friday and the weekend is here. Wish I didn't work Monday but who knows maybe next year. Ha Ha next year is seriously like 10 weeks away. I'm hoping that it will be a much better one financially and that we can get the debt under control and paid off even. Those are the dreams of us all
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Thursday
October 27, 2016....
Made it through the day at work and haven't been too sick at all today. There were a couple minutes here and there, but for the most part all was well. I picked J up, we finished getting what she needed for her costume, and headed on home.
We need to finish our decorating and so I need to head to the attack to find the head stones. I get tired of trying to figure out how to keep them from blowing everywhere though. Im putting them up rather late though so hopefully they'll stay in place for a few days. Halloween is four days away.
I love Halloween and get really excited for it but I think I would also be excited if I could just stay home curled up in my jammies and eat my taco soup while watching scary movies. That would be rather nice as well. Yay scary things!!!
Next will be our third thanksgiving together and that makes me pretty happy as well. I'm hoping that the holidays are over soon though. The older I get the more I don't like them. They are too stressful with finances and for whatever reason we never have money this time of year. No idea why not but we don't. Stressful!
Deep breaths and one day at a time. I do enjoy the new year though because I'll get my vacation time restocked at work. Hoping to be able to manage it better this year than I did last year. I would really like to have some at the end of the year as well as the beginning and middle. The way I use it you would think it's the last time we would get it. ha ha That's just how bad I want to be out of there. It's no where near as fun as it used to be and communication is horrid.
Well back to the household decorating must be ready for the party on saturday
Made it through the day at work and haven't been too sick at all today. There were a couple minutes here and there, but for the most part all was well. I picked J up, we finished getting what she needed for her costume, and headed on home.
We need to finish our decorating and so I need to head to the attack to find the head stones. I get tired of trying to figure out how to keep them from blowing everywhere though. Im putting them up rather late though so hopefully they'll stay in place for a few days. Halloween is four days away.
I love Halloween and get really excited for it but I think I would also be excited if I could just stay home curled up in my jammies and eat my taco soup while watching scary movies. That would be rather nice as well. Yay scary things!!!
Next will be our third thanksgiving together and that makes me pretty happy as well. I'm hoping that the holidays are over soon though. The older I get the more I don't like them. They are too stressful with finances and for whatever reason we never have money this time of year. No idea why not but we don't. Stressful!
Deep breaths and one day at a time. I do enjoy the new year though because I'll get my vacation time restocked at work. Hoping to be able to manage it better this year than I did last year. I would really like to have some at the end of the year as well as the beginning and middle. The way I use it you would think it's the last time we would get it. ha ha That's just how bad I want to be out of there. It's no where near as fun as it used to be and communication is horrid.
Well back to the household decorating must be ready for the party on saturday
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Wednesday
October 26, 2016....
Came home early today sick as usual. Hoping that it doesn't last long and my body adjusts back to the higher thyroid meds they put me on. I really need to find a way to make more money because I could really dig staying home. I love being home. I could easily become a hermit and never leave except to buy food. Good times!
Everyone is good here. I need to bring up to K how he's doing getting full time to be getting his own place. We are raising the rent in January if he's not gone yet. We are so tired of being broke and he's old enough to be helping out. I so wish he would be finding new friends or a girlfriend or something so he's not alone all the time.
All else is well. need to finish getting ready and decorated for my Halloween party. I'm hoping the kids have fun and the adults as well of course. I'm glad there will be no trick or treating involved. I don't want to have to leave like last year to go trick or treating. It's supposed to be cold on Halloween so I'm glad I'm home that night too.
Came home early today sick as usual. Hoping that it doesn't last long and my body adjusts back to the higher thyroid meds they put me on. I really need to find a way to make more money because I could really dig staying home. I love being home. I could easily become a hermit and never leave except to buy food. Good times!
Everyone is good here. I need to bring up to K how he's doing getting full time to be getting his own place. We are raising the rent in January if he's not gone yet. We are so tired of being broke and he's old enough to be helping out. I so wish he would be finding new friends or a girlfriend or something so he's not alone all the time.
All else is well. need to finish getting ready and decorated for my Halloween party. I'm hoping the kids have fun and the adults as well of course. I'm glad there will be no trick or treating involved. I don't want to have to leave like last year to go trick or treating. It's supposed to be cold on Halloween so I'm glad I'm home that night too.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Tuesday
October 25, 2016...
Made it through the day at work. felt good today except for the fatigue and temperature intolerance. Seemed to be like a fairly slow day even though I took a bunch of calls. I'm leaving early tomorrow and then next week my fmla is expired and Im back to working all day every day unless I'm offered MTO. We'll hope that I don't get sick much anymore.
Thank goodness there is only a couple weeks left in the year and then we'll get more vacation again. Unless of course they decide to take that away from us as well. Starting to dislike that place. The insurance is almost not a benefit at all. I know every thing changes but every year the insurance just gets worse and worse and worse. rant over
The weather today has been lovely. I'm enjoying that it keeps raining like yesterday and making it so I don't have to water my flower beds. Our hose is broke anyway so I'm hoping that I don't have to water again until spring. One less expense for now.
Halloween is about a week away. This Saturday is our big Halloween party and then Monday is the actual day although I have to work this year so I will have to hope that My mom an get me some pictures at the parade and of course I'll get pictures at the party and at home. no biggie I guess, I just have never missed one.
Made it through the day at work. felt good today except for the fatigue and temperature intolerance. Seemed to be like a fairly slow day even though I took a bunch of calls. I'm leaving early tomorrow and then next week my fmla is expired and Im back to working all day every day unless I'm offered MTO. We'll hope that I don't get sick much anymore.
Thank goodness there is only a couple weeks left in the year and then we'll get more vacation again. Unless of course they decide to take that away from us as well. Starting to dislike that place. The insurance is almost not a benefit at all. I know every thing changes but every year the insurance just gets worse and worse and worse. rant over
The weather today has been lovely. I'm enjoying that it keeps raining like yesterday and making it so I don't have to water my flower beds. Our hose is broke anyway so I'm hoping that I don't have to water again until spring. One less expense for now.
Halloween is about a week away. This Saturday is our big Halloween party and then Monday is the actual day although I have to work this year so I will have to hope that My mom an get me some pictures at the parade and of course I'll get pictures at the party and at home. no biggie I guess, I just have never missed one.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Monday
October 24, 2016....
Went to the dr. today. It was as usual very disappointing. "Oh we don't want to change your thyroid meds when something is working. We might change the dosage but we'll see what your blood says" Well my blood hates me and is always good. So I'll never feel better.
Any who, had a pretty productive day but for some reason it didn't really feel like a day off. To dark and lazy I guess I'm not really sure. My honey got to stay home for a bit this morning until the rain tapered off and he was back home when I got home from the Dr. appointment. I do so enjoy the rain when I am off to enjoy my coffee and the sounds and smells. Tomorrow will be back to the grind and I really don't want to. I need to find a better means of making money on my own terms. I'm so tired of never getting to move forward with anything in this company. The insurance is going right downhill as well so we shall see how next year goes. They already can't keep people working there.
Fall is officially here. The leaves are falling all crunchy to the ground, the winds are chilly and sometimes leave you a little breathless as they gust making the dry fall leaves dance and fly. Not really looking forward to winter but about this time of year all I can think is let's get it out of the way. I don't like snow. Christmas eve it's pretty. It's ok on a Saturday morning when I can sit home with my coffee and not go anywhere in the cold, frozen stuff. Why oh why can't it just stay in the mountains. They could have hundreds of feet and down here I could just have the occasional skiff and rain. I don't mind rain at least it's not frozen.
According to facebook I should live in California, which I have always thought as well. I wouldn't have to endure the cold and snow like here and I do think the beach is beautiful but I also don't like earthquakes and the fear of the whole place falling into the ocean is just too much. Guess I'll endure the cold or move to Vegas. Ha!!
The only thing I really hate about going to work is that once you get there you are stuck. You technically can't just stand up and leave when you get tired or bored. No matter how many things you think would be more productive you just get to sit there and make nice. Smile and endure the captivity. It used to be more fun. I'm not really sure what happened. I'm gonna write a book about it someday. Maybe I'll write a book for each of my jobs ha ha that would be funny. Purely fictional of course but oh the fun I could have with the subjects.
Went to the dr. today. It was as usual very disappointing. "Oh we don't want to change your thyroid meds when something is working. We might change the dosage but we'll see what your blood says" Well my blood hates me and is always good. So I'll never feel better.
Any who, had a pretty productive day but for some reason it didn't really feel like a day off. To dark and lazy I guess I'm not really sure. My honey got to stay home for a bit this morning until the rain tapered off and he was back home when I got home from the Dr. appointment. I do so enjoy the rain when I am off to enjoy my coffee and the sounds and smells. Tomorrow will be back to the grind and I really don't want to. I need to find a better means of making money on my own terms. I'm so tired of never getting to move forward with anything in this company. The insurance is going right downhill as well so we shall see how next year goes. They already can't keep people working there.
Fall is officially here. The leaves are falling all crunchy to the ground, the winds are chilly and sometimes leave you a little breathless as they gust making the dry fall leaves dance and fly. Not really looking forward to winter but about this time of year all I can think is let's get it out of the way. I don't like snow. Christmas eve it's pretty. It's ok on a Saturday morning when I can sit home with my coffee and not go anywhere in the cold, frozen stuff. Why oh why can't it just stay in the mountains. They could have hundreds of feet and down here I could just have the occasional skiff and rain. I don't mind rain at least it's not frozen.
According to facebook I should live in California, which I have always thought as well. I wouldn't have to endure the cold and snow like here and I do think the beach is beautiful but I also don't like earthquakes and the fear of the whole place falling into the ocean is just too much. Guess I'll endure the cold or move to Vegas. Ha!!
The only thing I really hate about going to work is that once you get there you are stuck. You technically can't just stand up and leave when you get tired or bored. No matter how many things you think would be more productive you just get to sit there and make nice. Smile and endure the captivity. It used to be more fun. I'm not really sure what happened. I'm gonna write a book about it someday. Maybe I'll write a book for each of my jobs ha ha that would be funny. Purely fictional of course but oh the fun I could have with the subjects.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Thursday
October 20, 2016...
Wasn't it just the first? Oh well we all know how time flies and each day it seems to go a little faster. Unless you are punched in at work at which point it just creeps a long to mock you. I know it's been doing it to me all week.
Today our phones were all funky and a lot of people weren't even getting calls so it was an ok day. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok and then it will be the weekend and I can rest and do nothing like I've been doing for months now. I think this is my year of laziness and no ambition. Next year has got to be better.
I have been oh so tired this week and only want to sleep. I'm hoping that she ( my doctor) can give me something that will actually knock me out for atleast 7 hours. Without the tossing and turning and the constant waking and forcing sleep... Also if she could tell me how to get rid of the constant nagging muscle twitches. It's not only uncomfortable but after a while it literally hurts. I'm pretty tired of getting old and falling a part.
Wasn't it just the first? Oh well we all know how time flies and each day it seems to go a little faster. Unless you are punched in at work at which point it just creeps a long to mock you. I know it's been doing it to me all week.
Today our phones were all funky and a lot of people weren't even getting calls so it was an ok day. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok and then it will be the weekend and I can rest and do nothing like I've been doing for months now. I think this is my year of laziness and no ambition. Next year has got to be better.
I have been oh so tired this week and only want to sleep. I'm hoping that she ( my doctor) can give me something that will actually knock me out for atleast 7 hours. Without the tossing and turning and the constant waking and forcing sleep... Also if she could tell me how to get rid of the constant nagging muscle twitches. It's not only uncomfortable but after a while it literally hurts. I'm pretty tired of getting old and falling a part.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Thursday
October 13, 2016....
Lovely day today. Went to parent teacher conferences. J is doing awesome and kicked the dibels tests butt! Every year she has been under what is normal. They drive a person crazy with it. She is above on all scores with that and doing great so far in the year with everything else. Yay!!
Work was slow and boring and I only have to make it through one more day til the weekend. That means sleep. I'm always excited for sleep. Not sure what else we are doing this weekend. I need to finish all my prep for our Halloween party. We are gonna be busy that weekend. We have our party and then a little birthday party to go to sunday and then Monday will be Halloween. So I really need to get everything ready pretty soon so I don't have to worry about it later. Still need to figure out what my love and I are going to be. I always go with zombie or vampire but something else might be fun too. Im thinking Dr. and naughty nurse. we'll see. should be fun.
Lovely day today. Went to parent teacher conferences. J is doing awesome and kicked the dibels tests butt! Every year she has been under what is normal. They drive a person crazy with it. She is above on all scores with that and doing great so far in the year with everything else. Yay!!
Work was slow and boring and I only have to make it through one more day til the weekend. That means sleep. I'm always excited for sleep. Not sure what else we are doing this weekend. I need to finish all my prep for our Halloween party. We are gonna be busy that weekend. We have our party and then a little birthday party to go to sunday and then Monday will be Halloween. So I really need to get everything ready pretty soon so I don't have to worry about it later. Still need to figure out what my love and I are going to be. I always go with zombie or vampire but something else might be fun too. Im thinking Dr. and naughty nurse. we'll see. should be fun.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Tuesday
October 11, 2016....
So I get to my Dr. appointment a few minutes late and they make me reschedule. Really? Cuz you've never made me sit in the waiting room waiting for the doctor. Then made me wait in the room when I got there, then wait in the waiting room to give blood. I think she can wait 5 minutes although she probably wouldn't even know I was late since I would be in the waiting room anyway.
I'm very frustrated about my life right now. Finances are a joke and my job is always feeling like I'm hanging by a thread. I need to get out of debt I really do. Maybe a second job until I do???
I worry about not having time with J if I work two jobs. My health is joke number 2. I'm just tired of being sick. Tired of being in pain. wish it would go away.
Cloudy and breezy today. Not to cold but cooler than yesterday. Can't decide if I like the cooler temps or the warmer. Guess it doesn't matter I freeze either way. Hoping this winter isn't too bad. I really don't want to drive in it. My car now should be better than the van though and I did get new tires in the back this year. Bring it on I guess. Not ready for Christmas though. This will be our third Christmas together. Seems like it's been so much longer than that.
So I get to my Dr. appointment a few minutes late and they make me reschedule. Really? Cuz you've never made me sit in the waiting room waiting for the doctor. Then made me wait in the room when I got there, then wait in the waiting room to give blood. I think she can wait 5 minutes although she probably wouldn't even know I was late since I would be in the waiting room anyway.
I'm very frustrated about my life right now. Finances are a joke and my job is always feeling like I'm hanging by a thread. I need to get out of debt I really do. Maybe a second job until I do???
I worry about not having time with J if I work two jobs. My health is joke number 2. I'm just tired of being sick. Tired of being in pain. wish it would go away.
Cloudy and breezy today. Not to cold but cooler than yesterday. Can't decide if I like the cooler temps or the warmer. Guess it doesn't matter I freeze either way. Hoping this winter isn't too bad. I really don't want to drive in it. My car now should be better than the van though and I did get new tires in the back this year. Bring it on I guess. Not ready for Christmas though. This will be our third Christmas together. Seems like it's been so much longer than that.
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Sunday
October 9, 2016.....
My favorite month. I have my house almost decorated although I still need to find more of my outside Halloween decorations. We have our party planned and Halloween night planned as well.
I still have to make my menu and start planning the treats and drinks for the kids. I'm thinking we need some dry ice to make the drink all spooky. I need to finish up the house but it's coming a long. My love and I still need to get our costumes ready. We have 2 parties to dress up for and I want to be something for couples. We are thinking he can be a Dr. and I can be a naughty nurse. Then for our Halloween party we can be zombie Dr. and naughty nurse and for Halloween night I can just be a zombie with my little zombie bride. I still need to get her a wig and some flowers for her bouquet. She'll be adorable! Wish I could go to her parade this year. It's her last one. I may leave work when the other ladies get there so that I can see her in her last parade. I've never worked that day but I hear that it is slow. We shall see. We shall see.
Once Halloween is over I need to start thinking about the thanksgiving dinners. I'm thinking of having the one with my mom and family on the Saturday before thanksgiving. Then I'll have a few days before I have to cook another meal. I don't mind but for whatever reason the one with my mom really stresses me out. Hopefully it will go as smoothly as it normally does. I'm sure it will because my love always helps me with the food. I love him and am so blessed that he helps me around the house so much.
Christmas isn't far off either. It was snowing pretty good in park city last week. Only rain here but it's only a matter of time. It keeps getting down to freezing during the nights and I think the garden is done. There are a lot of blooms but not enough time for them to grow before we are frosting every night. Today it is warm and sunny with blue skies and a light breeze. The neighborhood is quiet and the band across the street finally took their ugly trailer and went on their way. Guess we are just needing to learn some patience here in my house hold.
I have only dusted and made brunch. I ran to the store and put in some laundry but otherwise I have just been watching my love clean the house. He's so different than my experience with men so far. I'm used to them on the computer looking at porn and finding people to cheat on me with on the cheating websites. My best friend is having the same problem with her now ex husband. Together for 26 years. He's 9 yrs older than her but tells her she's old and boring and he needs more excitement in his life. Goes out and gets him a 1400 dollar apartment because "he can't live in trash" but reality is he's trying to impress someone (even though he says there no one, he's cheated atleast 5 other times and she's always forgiven him. He's also physically and mentally abusive.) he doesn't help her with anything around the house. Nope it's just porn on the computer because he's "bored" my ex used the same excuse. When I asked him why he wasn't helping me out around the house instead so that we had more time to spend together he said he didn't think about it. ..... men.
Now that I'm with my love and getting treated right by a real man who knows what to do while he's home and I'm at work I feel like every man should take lessons. He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of me, he loves our family and friends and helps take really good care of our kids. There is nothing sexier than a man cleaning the house. Serious. Those of you who think you are so bored and your wife or girlfriend so boring because all they do is clean, try turning off the computer and lifting a hand to help her out around the house. I promise you'll both be happier.
My favorite month. I have my house almost decorated although I still need to find more of my outside Halloween decorations. We have our party planned and Halloween night planned as well.
I still have to make my menu and start planning the treats and drinks for the kids. I'm thinking we need some dry ice to make the drink all spooky. I need to finish up the house but it's coming a long. My love and I still need to get our costumes ready. We have 2 parties to dress up for and I want to be something for couples. We are thinking he can be a Dr. and I can be a naughty nurse. Then for our Halloween party we can be zombie Dr. and naughty nurse and for Halloween night I can just be a zombie with my little zombie bride. I still need to get her a wig and some flowers for her bouquet. She'll be adorable! Wish I could go to her parade this year. It's her last one. I may leave work when the other ladies get there so that I can see her in her last parade. I've never worked that day but I hear that it is slow. We shall see. We shall see.
Once Halloween is over I need to start thinking about the thanksgiving dinners. I'm thinking of having the one with my mom and family on the Saturday before thanksgiving. Then I'll have a few days before I have to cook another meal. I don't mind but for whatever reason the one with my mom really stresses me out. Hopefully it will go as smoothly as it normally does. I'm sure it will because my love always helps me with the food. I love him and am so blessed that he helps me around the house so much.
Christmas isn't far off either. It was snowing pretty good in park city last week. Only rain here but it's only a matter of time. It keeps getting down to freezing during the nights and I think the garden is done. There are a lot of blooms but not enough time for them to grow before we are frosting every night. Today it is warm and sunny with blue skies and a light breeze. The neighborhood is quiet and the band across the street finally took their ugly trailer and went on their way. Guess we are just needing to learn some patience here in my house hold.
I have only dusted and made brunch. I ran to the store and put in some laundry but otherwise I have just been watching my love clean the house. He's so different than my experience with men so far. I'm used to them on the computer looking at porn and finding people to cheat on me with on the cheating websites. My best friend is having the same problem with her now ex husband. Together for 26 years. He's 9 yrs older than her but tells her she's old and boring and he needs more excitement in his life. Goes out and gets him a 1400 dollar apartment because "he can't live in trash" but reality is he's trying to impress someone (even though he says there no one, he's cheated atleast 5 other times and she's always forgiven him. He's also physically and mentally abusive.) he doesn't help her with anything around the house. Nope it's just porn on the computer because he's "bored" my ex used the same excuse. When I asked him why he wasn't helping me out around the house instead so that we had more time to spend together he said he didn't think about it. ..... men.
Now that I'm with my love and getting treated right by a real man who knows what to do while he's home and I'm at work I feel like every man should take lessons. He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of me, he loves our family and friends and helps take really good care of our kids. There is nothing sexier than a man cleaning the house. Serious. Those of you who think you are so bored and your wife or girlfriend so boring because all they do is clean, try turning off the computer and lifting a hand to help her out around the house. I promise you'll both be happier.
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Wednesday
October 5, 2016.....
Came home early from work today and didn't really get home any earlier. The freeway was closed. Or rather both freeways were closed. I-215 had a rollover accident and I-15 had some toxic spill on it. They diverted us off at Redwood road and it took over an hour for me to get home when it usually just takes 20 minutes. So glad I used vacation time to come home just to wait in traffic the entire time. Ugh!!! Can't control it though so I'm trying to shed the anxiety from it. Been home for a bit and I'm still not relaxed, I don't know what the deal is.
Probably finances. Mine suck and I really don't know what we are going to do. I pay my bills and get food and I have nothing left for 2 more weeks. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I am so tired of not having any money. I should be able to cover everything and have a little left to get me through but lately I just have nothing. Nothing. What has changed? No idea but I really need to get it reined in so my credit doesn't bomb.
Family is ok. My love is out of town for work and the girl is at the donors house. Guess I can binge watch my criminal minds. Watching it for the second time. I love it and can't find a show to compare to it.
Came home early from work today and didn't really get home any earlier. The freeway was closed. Or rather both freeways were closed. I-215 had a rollover accident and I-15 had some toxic spill on it. They diverted us off at Redwood road and it took over an hour for me to get home when it usually just takes 20 minutes. So glad I used vacation time to come home just to wait in traffic the entire time. Ugh!!! Can't control it though so I'm trying to shed the anxiety from it. Been home for a bit and I'm still not relaxed, I don't know what the deal is.
Probably finances. Mine suck and I really don't know what we are going to do. I pay my bills and get food and I have nothing left for 2 more weeks. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I am so tired of not having any money. I should be able to cover everything and have a little left to get me through but lately I just have nothing. Nothing. What has changed? No idea but I really need to get it reined in so my credit doesn't bomb.
Family is ok. My love is out of town for work and the girl is at the donors house. Guess I can binge watch my criminal minds. Watching it for the second time. I love it and can't find a show to compare to it.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Saturday...
October 1, 2016....
First day of my favorite month. The fall leaves are starting to fall to the ground and get crunched under foot. The temperatures have started to come down and we are getting a little rain now and again. Kindof nice. My beautiful fall mums are starting to bloom in wonderful fall colors.
I have begun the decorating for Halloween, my favorite holiday. I can't find all of my stuff but so far I have got a lot done. Just need to finish the yard and for that I need to find the rest of my stuff.
Went to a birthday party today. Kids are loud! Glad to be home in our quiet house.
Now I just need to think about what we are going to be for Halloween because we have two parties to dress up for this year. On Halloween night J wants me to be a zombie with her and scare the kids coming for treats . We shall see. I'd rather watch scary movies while she passes out candy.
First day of my favorite month. The fall leaves are starting to fall to the ground and get crunched under foot. The temperatures have started to come down and we are getting a little rain now and again. Kindof nice. My beautiful fall mums are starting to bloom in wonderful fall colors.
I have begun the decorating for Halloween, my favorite holiday. I can't find all of my stuff but so far I have got a lot done. Just need to finish the yard and for that I need to find the rest of my stuff.
Went to a birthday party today. Kids are loud! Glad to be home in our quiet house.
Now I just need to think about what we are going to be for Halloween because we have two parties to dress up for this year. On Halloween night J wants me to be a zombie with her and scare the kids coming for treats . We shall see. I'd rather watch scary movies while she passes out candy.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Thursday
September 29, 2016...
So today I made it through the day despite being super tired. I don't know what to do to be getting more energy but I wish I could figure it out. I need to go pick up some prescriptions, and Im putting that off. I need to work out and I'm putting that off, I need to water my flowers and weed my flower beds but I just really don't want to do anything but lay around and wait for bedtime to arrive
Thank god tomorrow is Friday though and we still get the weekends off. (So far) My love is out of town for the night so I need to go spend some girl time with J. Right now she is watching her show on Netflix. Dinner is cooking and I need to get that in the oven and then go get the prescriptions. ugh... maybe I should try the delivery thing again... it would be cheaper... and I wouldn't have to leave the comfort of my home. Hmmmmm maybe maybe I should just give them a second chance.
First I need to remember to get the Dr. apt. That is a definite must. I was supposed to go months ago but I really don't want to go. I tire of going to the doctor and paying the co pays and having my dosage messed with for the millionth time not to feel any better and sometimes worse.
So today I made it through the day despite being super tired. I don't know what to do to be getting more energy but I wish I could figure it out. I need to go pick up some prescriptions, and Im putting that off. I need to work out and I'm putting that off, I need to water my flowers and weed my flower beds but I just really don't want to do anything but lay around and wait for bedtime to arrive
Thank god tomorrow is Friday though and we still get the weekends off. (So far) My love is out of town for the night so I need to go spend some girl time with J. Right now she is watching her show on Netflix. Dinner is cooking and I need to get that in the oven and then go get the prescriptions. ugh... maybe I should try the delivery thing again... it would be cheaper... and I wouldn't have to leave the comfort of my home. Hmmmmm maybe maybe I should just give them a second chance.
First I need to remember to get the Dr. apt. That is a definite must. I was supposed to go months ago but I really don't want to go. I tire of going to the doctor and paying the co pays and having my dosage messed with for the millionth time not to feel any better and sometimes worse.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Thursday
September 22, 2016........
The weather has taken a drastic turn for the worse. Todays high, rather than the normal 90s, was
79 degrees. I think by the time I got home from therapy it had dropped dramatically except the wind had picked up so it could have just been the wind chill. I'm still waiting for any good rain. So far there has just been sprinkling.
I got myself all worked up over traffic but I really just can't stand stupid drivers. People are driving down the freeway, in stop and go traffic, checking out their phones. Taking selfies. Texting. Doing there makeup. When I finally get in a lane that is moving I am cut off by people crossing the double lines out of the carpool lane. People driving in the passing lane going 50 so the people actually trying to pass have to get around that person as well.
Then there are the people who are riding my ass when there is clearly no place for me to go. Really people I want out as much as you but you don't need to hitch a ride. I'm stressed out enough. It just puts me in a really bad mood. They act like they are doing the world a favor by going slow when in reality we are all trying not to die getting around them so we don't get hit from behind. Then of course are my absolute favorite people. The ones who get in the straight only lane and regardless of signs, and the fact the rest of us have waited patiently to be in the turning lane, they just turn right into you giving you no choice but to let them in and hold up everyone and cause those of us obeying the laws to get backed up have to wait longer. Rant over....
Work was pretty busy all day. I was really, really glad when two o'clock came around and I could finally vacate the premises. I really need to decide what my passion is because I'm so tired of hating my job. I don't like always wondering what the day will bring. I want to know like I used to. I want to go in and enjoy being there like I used to.
Home is good. Other than K always and forever thinking I am obligated to pick him up. It's right up the road for god's sake why can he not just walk?!?!! I used to walk all over the place. If I didn't want to walk I took the bus. I didn't get my first car until I was 23 and pregnant with my first kid. He has lived here for 2 years and hasn't saved anything for a car, or a place of his own. ugh.. he'll be here forever
I'm on one today.. better go try and make myself calm down.
The weather has taken a drastic turn for the worse. Todays high, rather than the normal 90s, was
79 degrees. I think by the time I got home from therapy it had dropped dramatically except the wind had picked up so it could have just been the wind chill. I'm still waiting for any good rain. So far there has just been sprinkling.
I got myself all worked up over traffic but I really just can't stand stupid drivers. People are driving down the freeway, in stop and go traffic, checking out their phones. Taking selfies. Texting. Doing there makeup. When I finally get in a lane that is moving I am cut off by people crossing the double lines out of the carpool lane. People driving in the passing lane going 50 so the people actually trying to pass have to get around that person as well.
Then there are the people who are riding my ass when there is clearly no place for me to go. Really people I want out as much as you but you don't need to hitch a ride. I'm stressed out enough. It just puts me in a really bad mood. They act like they are doing the world a favor by going slow when in reality we are all trying not to die getting around them so we don't get hit from behind. Then of course are my absolute favorite people. The ones who get in the straight only lane and regardless of signs, and the fact the rest of us have waited patiently to be in the turning lane, they just turn right into you giving you no choice but to let them in and hold up everyone and cause those of us obeying the laws to get backed up have to wait longer. Rant over....
Work was pretty busy all day. I was really, really glad when two o'clock came around and I could finally vacate the premises. I really need to decide what my passion is because I'm so tired of hating my job. I don't like always wondering what the day will bring. I want to know like I used to. I want to go in and enjoy being there like I used to.
Home is good. Other than K always and forever thinking I am obligated to pick him up. It's right up the road for god's sake why can he not just walk?!?!! I used to walk all over the place. If I didn't want to walk I took the bus. I didn't get my first car until I was 23 and pregnant with my first kid. He has lived here for 2 years and hasn't saved anything for a car, or a place of his own. ugh.. he'll be here forever
I'm on one today.. better go try and make myself calm down.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Wednesday
September 21, 2016...
Bad headache today. By 1030 it had gotten so miserable that it was making my stomach hurt and I
kept feeling nauseous and left at 1100. I put in vacation so will still get paid. It was boring and I really wanted to come home. I'm so tired and I wanted to get some things done. Plus I don't have to get J today because she goes with the donor. I am already in my jammie bottoms and a tank and I don't know if I want to decorate for Halloween, or take a nap. Either way I should probably get some
laundry going because J's laundry basket is full and so is mine. Probably 2 loads. I suddenly really love to do laundry. I'm sure it's because I have my house back to myself. Yay!!
K is still the only one living here although B is always needing money and we keep getting more and more bills coming in. I'm so tired of bills. I'm also so tired of having no money left after I pay them.
Today is still really warm but there is a storm coming in and it's supposed to get into the 50's. I really was not prepared for it to be that cold for fall this year. I mean it just started. You would think it would be in the 70's not the 50's. Well onward to Halloween and the rest of the holidays I guess. My least favorite part of the year is Nov - Jan. I only make it through February because I have to be excited for my kids birthdays and I know spring is coming and it won't be snowing much longer. I prefer when we get an early spring and don't have to wear coats anymore by this time. Spring and Summer are my favorite. The world wakes up again.
I think perhaps I'll start that laundry, drag some Halloween down from the Attack and then climb into bed and watch a movie. (I'll probably fall asleep and not actually see the movie) So I'll just watch something I've already seen. Like Anabelle, or Exorcist.. Need to start getting my scare on. I haven't appreciated Halloween for awhile so I'm gonna try this year. We are not going trick or treating. J wants to stay home and hand out candy and scare the kids that are older. She loves giving the little kids candy and seeing their costumes. (I think she gets that from my mother because I hate giving out the candy. I used to make T do it.)
Trying to decide if I want to be a witch, a wicked clown, or a zombie for Halloween. We may have a costume party the Saturday before Halloween which is on a Monday this year. All the more reason to stay home. I also saw some cute couples costumes .. peanut butter and jelly sandwich, mustard & ketchup, and bacon and eggs. They were cute. Then there is always the pregnant nun and priest, or the hooker and her pimp. All good couple costumes. Love this holiday!
Bad headache today. By 1030 it had gotten so miserable that it was making my stomach hurt and I
kept feeling nauseous and left at 1100. I put in vacation so will still get paid. It was boring and I really wanted to come home. I'm so tired and I wanted to get some things done. Plus I don't have to get J today because she goes with the donor. I am already in my jammie bottoms and a tank and I don't know if I want to decorate for Halloween, or take a nap. Either way I should probably get some
laundry going because J's laundry basket is full and so is mine. Probably 2 loads. I suddenly really love to do laundry. I'm sure it's because I have my house back to myself. Yay!!
K is still the only one living here although B is always needing money and we keep getting more and more bills coming in. I'm so tired of bills. I'm also so tired of having no money left after I pay them.
Today is still really warm but there is a storm coming in and it's supposed to get into the 50's. I really was not prepared for it to be that cold for fall this year. I mean it just started. You would think it would be in the 70's not the 50's. Well onward to Halloween and the rest of the holidays I guess. My least favorite part of the year is Nov - Jan. I only make it through February because I have to be excited for my kids birthdays and I know spring is coming and it won't be snowing much longer. I prefer when we get an early spring and don't have to wear coats anymore by this time. Spring and Summer are my favorite. The world wakes up again.
I think perhaps I'll start that laundry, drag some Halloween down from the Attack and then climb into bed and watch a movie. (I'll probably fall asleep and not actually see the movie) So I'll just watch something I've already seen. Like Anabelle, or Exorcist.. Need to start getting my scare on. I haven't appreciated Halloween for awhile so I'm gonna try this year. We are not going trick or treating. J wants to stay home and hand out candy and scare the kids that are older. She loves giving the little kids candy and seeing their costumes. (I think she gets that from my mother because I hate giving out the candy. I used to make T do it.)
Trying to decide if I want to be a witch, a wicked clown, or a zombie for Halloween. We may have a costume party the Saturday before Halloween which is on a Monday this year. All the more reason to stay home. I also saw some cute couples costumes .. peanut butter and jelly sandwich, mustard & ketchup, and bacon and eggs. They were cute. Then there is always the pregnant nun and priest, or the hooker and her pimp. All good couple costumes. Love this holiday!
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Tuesday
September 20, 2016...
Home fresh from work and I have to stare at my screen for several minutes to remember what the date is. (yes I know its on the task bar but I was just blank staring the page.) ha ha Fun! Anyway I made it through another full shift and am hoping that I can leave all the madness of being sick behind me now. Work was good it was fairly busy and we all got along really well. There was an open house for hiring and also a tour with one of the banks. I left at two and missed it all. I hope it was the party they had planned.
Tomorrow everything should be back to normal and we can all get on with the week. Wednesday is upon us and I can already see the weekend. I'm hoping it's not as busy as the last one was. I hung with the girl Friday night and we did some scrapbooking. Saturday we went to see Tarzan (thought it was really good but was disappointed there wasn't more help from the different animals, you don't see the animals as much as you would like to really.) That same night I had date night with my love and we went to the house of an old friends/neighbors of my love. There was James giving live entertainment and he rocked. Then his friend was so cute, every time she stepped out the door and heard the music her face would light up and she would start dancing with whatever she happened to be carrying, the crock pot, a bag of chips, bowls of corn, the food was divine. Dinner and a show and dancing $5.00 a head. It was well worth it. Apparently we were such a hit we are now going to be getting invited to game night. Yay, game night!! I haven't been invited to a game night in what seems to be forever.
Fall is coming quickly. I'm excited and sad at the same time, just like every year. I love the dry roads but the fall colors and cooler temps are good and it's the beginning of the holiday season, so that's good to. Halloween if I haven't mentioned is my favorite holiday ever. Then Thanksgiving and Christmas are tied for second. I have already began to decorate my house and I can't wait to pull it all out and go crazy. YAY!
Sunday we went to the Carmelite Festival again. I'm not sure if it's a fair or a festival but it feels more like a festival to me so that's what I call it. It is to raise money for the nun and they sell a ton of great stuff. Hand made quilts and blankets. Hats, scarves and mittens. There is all kinds of jams and jellies and caramels and peanut brittle. There was bouncy toys for the little kids and games they could play for tickets but the pickings in prizes were not very interesting. The girl got play makeup and two pair of earrings. We had both tamales and rice & beans, and an oriental meal that was also delicious. There is also a bagpipe band complete with female dancers also wearing kilts doing so great dances to the bagpipes. We had a lot of fun but I felt like I needed a weekend home just to recover from the weekend I had already had. That hasn't happened in a long time though so I'm not gonna complain.
Home fresh from work and I have to stare at my screen for several minutes to remember what the date is. (yes I know its on the task bar but I was just blank staring the page.) ha ha Fun! Anyway I made it through another full shift and am hoping that I can leave all the madness of being sick behind me now. Work was good it was fairly busy and we all got along really well. There was an open house for hiring and also a tour with one of the banks. I left at two and missed it all. I hope it was the party they had planned.
Tomorrow everything should be back to normal and we can all get on with the week. Wednesday is upon us and I can already see the weekend. I'm hoping it's not as busy as the last one was. I hung with the girl Friday night and we did some scrapbooking. Saturday we went to see Tarzan (thought it was really good but was disappointed there wasn't more help from the different animals, you don't see the animals as much as you would like to really.) That same night I had date night with my love and we went to the house of an old friends/neighbors of my love. There was James giving live entertainment and he rocked. Then his friend was so cute, every time she stepped out the door and heard the music her face would light up and she would start dancing with whatever she happened to be carrying, the crock pot, a bag of chips, bowls of corn, the food was divine. Dinner and a show and dancing $5.00 a head. It was well worth it. Apparently we were such a hit we are now going to be getting invited to game night. Yay, game night!! I haven't been invited to a game night in what seems to be forever.
Fall is coming quickly. I'm excited and sad at the same time, just like every year. I love the dry roads but the fall colors and cooler temps are good and it's the beginning of the holiday season, so that's good to. Halloween if I haven't mentioned is my favorite holiday ever. Then Thanksgiving and Christmas are tied for second. I have already began to decorate my house and I can't wait to pull it all out and go crazy. YAY!
Sunday we went to the Carmelite Festival again. I'm not sure if it's a fair or a festival but it feels more like a festival to me so that's what I call it. It is to raise money for the nun and they sell a ton of great stuff. Hand made quilts and blankets. Hats, scarves and mittens. There is all kinds of jams and jellies and caramels and peanut brittle. There was bouncy toys for the little kids and games they could play for tickets but the pickings in prizes were not very interesting. The girl got play makeup and two pair of earrings. We had both tamales and rice & beans, and an oriental meal that was also delicious. There is also a bagpipe band complete with female dancers also wearing kilts doing so great dances to the bagpipes. We had a lot of fun but I felt like I needed a weekend home just to recover from the weekend I had already had. That hasn't happened in a long time though so I'm not gonna complain.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Thursday
September 15, 2016...
Well here we are already half way through September and I'm just now starting to get back to normal size checks at work. Feeling good enough to make it through the day at work. Now if only I could get some energy. I always feel so sluggish and tired. My body is always aching and my mind is always fuzzy.
Enough complaining, the weather is getting cooler and the leaves are starting to change color and it is fall. Well next week technically but I'm still so excited to be decorating for Halloween and then for Thanksgiving. Even though the end of the year is so expensive and busy with parties and family and visiting friends, I really do enjoy it and I'm especially glad we kick it all off with Halloween! My favorite!!
We are still needing to get K to get a place of his own but otherwise things around here are pretty peaceful and quiet. I have my craft room back and have started scrapbooking already. I have really missed it and will really enjoy it when I get my supplies all stocked up and new albums to fill. I love it, it makes me so happy to just lose myself in the scrapbooking.
Need to start working out. Haven't really done much, but lately I've been trying not to eat any sweets after seven. I have also been picking up my weights now and then but not as much as I should. I really want to get fit again. I felt so much better about myself when I didn't have this fat gut looking at me all the time.
T got a full time job in the deli at Safeway by his Dads house in Salem. He was pretty excited and I am pretty excited for him. Hopefully soon he can start helping with his phone again. I don't know if he still has his account and can transfer money or if he would have to send a check. hmmmm better talk to him about it. k won't be happy when I tell him he needs to start paying for his own. Oh well you have to grow up sometime.
Well here we are already half way through September and I'm just now starting to get back to normal size checks at work. Feeling good enough to make it through the day at work. Now if only I could get some energy. I always feel so sluggish and tired. My body is always aching and my mind is always fuzzy.
Enough complaining, the weather is getting cooler and the leaves are starting to change color and it is fall. Well next week technically but I'm still so excited to be decorating for Halloween and then for Thanksgiving. Even though the end of the year is so expensive and busy with parties and family and visiting friends, I really do enjoy it and I'm especially glad we kick it all off with Halloween! My favorite!!
We are still needing to get K to get a place of his own but otherwise things around here are pretty peaceful and quiet. I have my craft room back and have started scrapbooking already. I have really missed it and will really enjoy it when I get my supplies all stocked up and new albums to fill. I love it, it makes me so happy to just lose myself in the scrapbooking.
Need to start working out. Haven't really done much, but lately I've been trying not to eat any sweets after seven. I have also been picking up my weights now and then but not as much as I should. I really want to get fit again. I felt so much better about myself when I didn't have this fat gut looking at me all the time.
T got a full time job in the deli at Safeway by his Dads house in Salem. He was pretty excited and I am pretty excited for him. Hopefully soon he can start helping with his phone again. I don't know if he still has his account and can transfer money or if he would have to send a check. hmmmm better talk to him about it. k won't be happy when I tell him he needs to start paying for his own. Oh well you have to grow up sometime.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Wednesday
September 7, 2016...
Love it when I feel good and make it through the entire shift at work. That was the case today. I am home now, about to go continue on the scrapbook fest. Maybe throw in some laundry. Who knows. L isn't there to set me off anymore ha ha
My love and L went out of town for a couple days. Off to Moab to work. T seems to be doing well in Oregon so far and B is loving school so far. Now if only I could get K out my basement and out on his own. I'm starting to wonder if he'll ever be able to make it on his own. We will have to see. I think it's going to take something drastic to get him out.
The week is already half over and its our weekend without the grill. We have the Black Sabbath concert on Sunday night. I've been waiting for awhile for that to come up. We've had the tickets so long I sometimes forget we have them. The my love and I may attend the fair happening Saturday up the street from our house. Or maybe we'll stay in bed and sleep the weekend away in each others arms. That's nice too.
Love it when I feel good and make it through the entire shift at work. That was the case today. I am home now, about to go continue on the scrapbook fest. Maybe throw in some laundry. Who knows. L isn't there to set me off anymore ha ha
My love and L went out of town for a couple days. Off to Moab to work. T seems to be doing well in Oregon so far and B is loving school so far. Now if only I could get K out my basement and out on his own. I'm starting to wonder if he'll ever be able to make it on his own. We will have to see. I think it's going to take something drastic to get him out.
The week is already half over and its our weekend without the grill. We have the Black Sabbath concert on Sunday night. I've been waiting for awhile for that to come up. We've had the tickets so long I sometimes forget we have them. The my love and I may attend the fair happening Saturday up the street from our house. Or maybe we'll stay in bed and sleep the weekend away in each others arms. That's nice too.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Tuesday
September 6, 2016...
I feel like the month has already taken off at break neck speed, already the 6th.. Wow! I worked my entire shift today and it was not bad. I got a lot of reading done which I'm kindof confused on the book I'm reading but it was still entertaining.
Started getting out my craft stuff and organizing it so I can start scrapbooking again. I'm so excited to get them all caught up and be able to scrap pages with my love and I. It's funner to do the pages when you actually like the people in them.
I have so many pictures to go through and get scrapped. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it!!! My love is already wondering if he's ever going to see me again. I told him of course, as long as you come visit me down here! ha ha
Other than that our weekend was busy with cleaning and we didn't really relax. This coming weekend seems like it will be the same way. We have a concert on Sunday night and Saturday there
is a fair going on up the street we thought we would go check it out. No kids this coming weekend so I guess I may get more relaxing done regardless. I hope.
I feel like the month has already taken off at break neck speed, already the 6th.. Wow! I worked my entire shift today and it was not bad. I got a lot of reading done which I'm kindof confused on the book I'm reading but it was still entertaining.
Started getting out my craft stuff and organizing it so I can start scrapbooking again. I'm so excited to get them all caught up and be able to scrap pages with my love and I. It's funner to do the pages when you actually like the people in them.
I have so many pictures to go through and get scrapped. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it!!! My love is already wondering if he's ever going to see me again. I told him of course, as long as you come visit me down here! ha ha
Other than that our weekend was busy with cleaning and we didn't really relax. This coming weekend seems like it will be the same way. We have a concert on Sunday night and Saturday there
is a fair going on up the street we thought we would go check it out. No kids this coming weekend so I guess I may get more relaxing done regardless. I hope.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Wednesday
August 31, 2016...
So tired. I am getting used to get up so early though. The new shift is still going by fast and I'm glad I took it. Now if I can figure out how to get to sleep earlier so I can be more alert during the day. Today was bad though, I thought I was going to be falling asleep at my desk.
Now I am home though. Doing a couple loads of laundry. I love that I can use my washer whenever I want again. I really love that we are down so many kids. L is the big one though. Glad he is finally out and I don't have to deal with his friends galore and noise and disrespect. Now if he would just come and take the rest of his stuff that would be great.
We have to go up to USU on Friday so we can get the car. I wish he had of just told her that she couldn't take it last week when she was here. We could have already had it done and over with. Oh well guess that is Friday nights activity. I think we are busy on Saturday too although it is Labor day weekend so I'm happy to have Monday off too.
So tired. I am getting used to get up so early though. The new shift is still going by fast and I'm glad I took it. Now if I can figure out how to get to sleep earlier so I can be more alert during the day. Today was bad though, I thought I was going to be falling asleep at my desk.
Now I am home though. Doing a couple loads of laundry. I love that I can use my washer whenever I want again. I really love that we are down so many kids. L is the big one though. Glad he is finally out and I don't have to deal with his friends galore and noise and disrespect. Now if he would just come and take the rest of his stuff that would be great.
We have to go up to USU on Friday so we can get the car. I wish he had of just told her that she couldn't take it last week when she was here. We could have already had it done and over with. Oh well guess that is Friday nights activity. I think we are busy on Saturday too although it is Labor day weekend so I'm happy to have Monday off too.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Monday..
August 29, 2016...
Came home a couple hours early due to not being able to keep my eyes open. Dropped T off at the airport this morning. He's moving to Oregon to be with his Dad for awhile. I already miss him, my kitchen is a mess. Took me awhile to wash some dishes and I have a load waiting to wash when the dishwasher finishes the one going now. I also threw in some laundry because L moved out yesterday, and B moved out last weekend. I have my washer and dryer back!!!
I will probably not know what to do with myself when they are all gone living their own lives, but for now I really am enjoying that we are going to have our space back and hopefully some of our peace, and sanity.
Here's to cheaper utilities and groceries and let's hope a faster internet since there isn't so many people gaming on it. Wow hopefully T does great in Oregon and finds a job he loves. I'm proud of him for trying at least.
Came home a couple hours early due to not being able to keep my eyes open. Dropped T off at the airport this morning. He's moving to Oregon to be with his Dad for awhile. I already miss him, my kitchen is a mess. Took me awhile to wash some dishes and I have a load waiting to wash when the dishwasher finishes the one going now. I also threw in some laundry because L moved out yesterday, and B moved out last weekend. I have my washer and dryer back!!!
I will probably not know what to do with myself when they are all gone living their own lives, but for now I really am enjoying that we are going to have our space back and hopefully some of our peace, and sanity.
Here's to cheaper utilities and groceries and let's hope a faster internet since there isn't so many people gaming on it. Wow hopefully T does great in Oregon and finds a job he loves. I'm proud of him for trying at least.
Saturday..
August 27, 2016...
It's a beautiful day again today. A little cooler than it has been so that's nice. The month is almost over. So strange how fast time flies. I slept most of the day away. Didn't get up til after 12. I had been awake and just laying there but still it was most relaxing.
Had a lovely evening last night and today we are just cleaning the house and listening to tunes. I was jamming out to Def Leppard earlier. Love them. I've only been to one of their concerts but it was awesome.
It's a beautiful day again today. A little cooler than it has been so that's nice. The month is almost over. So strange how fast time flies. I slept most of the day away. Didn't get up til after 12. I had been awake and just laying there but still it was most relaxing.
Had a lovely evening last night and today we are just cleaning the house and listening to tunes. I was jamming out to Def Leppard earlier. Love them. I've only been to one of their concerts but it was awesome.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Monday..
August 22, 2016....
So not good at keeping up in here. K had his 23rd birthday. B went off to college and in a week T is moving to Oregon to be with his Dad. Then I will be 2 down and 2 to go. L is supposed to be moving out at the end of the month. I'm not holding my breath that it will actually happen but that is the news I hear.
Still needing to get a second job so that I can get my bills paid. I'm so tired of being broke. Nobody will help me with the phones or groceries. K just pays his rent and that is all. I really need to be having them put their phones in their own names.
The first day of 6th grade was today for J. She had a good time and got off half a day for the first day. They go to regular hours starting tomorrow. I'm glad she's back in school and not sleeping all day but I also wish I didn't have to drive her up to my moms. Oh well only one more year and then she's going to school out here. It should fly right by like everything else does....
So not good at keeping up in here. K had his 23rd birthday. B went off to college and in a week T is moving to Oregon to be with his Dad. Then I will be 2 down and 2 to go. L is supposed to be moving out at the end of the month. I'm not holding my breath that it will actually happen but that is the news I hear.
Still needing to get a second job so that I can get my bills paid. I'm so tired of being broke. Nobody will help me with the phones or groceries. K just pays his rent and that is all. I really need to be having them put their phones in their own names.
The first day of 6th grade was today for J. She had a good time and got off half a day for the first day. They go to regular hours starting tomorrow. I'm glad she's back in school and not sleeping all day but I also wish I didn't have to drive her up to my moms. Oh well only one more year and then she's going to school out here. It should fly right by like everything else does....
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Saturday..
August 13, 2016...
Almost K's birthday. He'll be 23. Hope he gets full time and starts saving for his own place. By the time I was his age I was married and having him. Working full time as well. I know it's hard but
we all have to start our lives at some point.
It's my weekend with no J. I try not to do anything on those weekends. The laundry gets done, the house gets cleaned, otherwise you'll find me in my bedroom either napping or watching Netflix and coloring. Ahh what a life. I need to figure out how to make more money so that I can actually go and do things, like travel and go riding. We have a lot of fun when we go riding.
Today my love is on the roof with his twin finishing the new roof on the garage. I have no plans except to change my sheets, and get my laundry done. Such the life right?
Things are starting to look up around here. 3 kids gone by the end of the month and only one left. I'm so excited I can barely stand myself. Hopefully K will be moving out with his cousin and another friend or maybe he'll find his own place, I don't know what will happen but it needs to happen soon or he's gonna have to start paying for his own phone and more on the rent so we aren't having to support him. I want to travel and get money saved so I'm not always so broke. I'm tired of being in poverty.
The day is hot and sunny as usual. My garden is looking really yellow and just the other day it was so dark and looking so good. I don't know what to do with it. The season is ending soon anyway I suppose and we will be on to fall and decorating for Halloween. I'm having to miss J's last Halloween party at school this year because they are moving me to the early shift and the other early person already has that whole week off. Oh well perhaps I can do the Christmas party. She'll be going into Jr. High next year. Can't wait until we are done with schools. That will be exciting.
Almost K's birthday. He'll be 23. Hope he gets full time and starts saving for his own place. By the time I was his age I was married and having him. Working full time as well. I know it's hard but
we all have to start our lives at some point.
It's my weekend with no J. I try not to do anything on those weekends. The laundry gets done, the house gets cleaned, otherwise you'll find me in my bedroom either napping or watching Netflix and coloring. Ahh what a life. I need to figure out how to make more money so that I can actually go and do things, like travel and go riding. We have a lot of fun when we go riding.
Today my love is on the roof with his twin finishing the new roof on the garage. I have no plans except to change my sheets, and get my laundry done. Such the life right?
Things are starting to look up around here. 3 kids gone by the end of the month and only one left. I'm so excited I can barely stand myself. Hopefully K will be moving out with his cousin and another friend or maybe he'll find his own place, I don't know what will happen but it needs to happen soon or he's gonna have to start paying for his own phone and more on the rent so we aren't having to support him. I want to travel and get money saved so I'm not always so broke. I'm tired of being in poverty.
The day is hot and sunny as usual. My garden is looking really yellow and just the other day it was so dark and looking so good. I don't know what to do with it. The season is ending soon anyway I suppose and we will be on to fall and decorating for Halloween. I'm having to miss J's last Halloween party at school this year because they are moving me to the early shift and the other early person already has that whole week off. Oh well perhaps I can do the Christmas party. She'll be going into Jr. High next year. Can't wait until we are done with schools. That will be exciting.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Thursday
August 11, 2016....
I came home early today, I have my appointment with my therapist and had some other things to do as well but I was having a hard time sitting there reading with my stomach turning. It was so slow I didn't figure they would miss me anyway. Work has been really strange lately. Busy the last couple of days and then today, almost nothing. Not complaining.
Taking J to the store quick and then running a few other errands before my apt. I really hope that I don't have to go much longer because I can't keep paying this for therapy. I wish I was a counselor so I could make 50+ an hour. That would be so nice.
School starts for J on the 22nd. We take B to Utah State for school on the 20th, and I drop T at the airport on his way to Oregon where he is moving. That's 3 down and one to go. I think he will be the hardest to get out because he's so picky about who he lives with and what people do that I think he may need his own place. He needs a much better job for that.
I came home early today, I have my appointment with my therapist and had some other things to do as well but I was having a hard time sitting there reading with my stomach turning. It was so slow I didn't figure they would miss me anyway. Work has been really strange lately. Busy the last couple of days and then today, almost nothing. Not complaining.
Taking J to the store quick and then running a few other errands before my apt. I really hope that I don't have to go much longer because I can't keep paying this for therapy. I wish I was a counselor so I could make 50+ an hour. That would be so nice.
School starts for J on the 22nd. We take B to Utah State for school on the 20th, and I drop T at the airport on his way to Oregon where he is moving. That's 3 down and one to go. I think he will be the hardest to get out because he's so picky about who he lives with and what people do that I think he may need his own place. He needs a much better job for that.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Thursday
August 4, 2016...
Woke up very late and was quite late for work, but better late than never I always say. Work was work, they are not going to replace Taylor buddy when he leaves in a couple weeks and so they are going to just make someone take the shift. I figured better to volunteer than be made to do it. My mom is ok with it but Jaz not so much. I'm not a morning person either so I'm not to thrilled either but I do get off at 2 which is nice.
Everything else is about the same here. My love will be home from out of town tomorrow and I'll get a week with him before he leaves again. T is moving out to Oregon on the 29th and I have to get him to the airport at 6. I'm hoping to go in late that day..
I don't think that K is saving to get out and I haven't heard anything about the full time status. I'm gonna have to tell him he needs to start looking for a full time job so that he can be supporting himself. They need to start taking on their own phone bills and such. I just can't keep supporting them non stop its killing me.
Hot as usual today. I didn't even get cold at work until I came back from break and felt the difference in the temperatures. Everyone had been complaining about it all day and I hadn't noticed because I came later and it was still warm. Ended up in my blanket by the end of the day though.
I swear sometimes we have to wear gloves just so our hands are warm enough to type. It really sucks.
Woke up very late and was quite late for work, but better late than never I always say. Work was work, they are not going to replace Taylor buddy when he leaves in a couple weeks and so they are going to just make someone take the shift. I figured better to volunteer than be made to do it. My mom is ok with it but Jaz not so much. I'm not a morning person either so I'm not to thrilled either but I do get off at 2 which is nice.
Everything else is about the same here. My love will be home from out of town tomorrow and I'll get a week with him before he leaves again. T is moving out to Oregon on the 29th and I have to get him to the airport at 6. I'm hoping to go in late that day..
I don't think that K is saving to get out and I haven't heard anything about the full time status. I'm gonna have to tell him he needs to start looking for a full time job so that he can be supporting himself. They need to start taking on their own phone bills and such. I just can't keep supporting them non stop its killing me.
Hot as usual today. I didn't even get cold at work until I came back from break and felt the difference in the temperatures. Everyone had been complaining about it all day and I hadn't noticed because I came later and it was still warm. Ended up in my blanket by the end of the day though.
I swear sometimes we have to wear gloves just so our hands are warm enough to type. It really sucks.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Tuesday..
August 2, 2016...
Stayed home again today. Had to take K to the Dr for his last appointment for his foot. Hoping to figure out why my insurance hasn't paid anything on it yet. He has a bill that is larger than B's for her surgery. I'm not understanding it. I really don't like my insurance company. The insurance for my prescriptions is the worst thing ever. I either get them through the mail or I pay a ton at the pharmacy. So far I have just been paying a ton.
I need to get back on track with my life and get a resume done and find me a better job. I don't know where but I know that there has got to be something out there for me that pays more money. I really need to be able to buy groceries. I'm so broke right now that I feel like it's the end of the world. I am contemplating a second job until I can get some of my bills paid.
This life really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I spent my entire childhood excited to grow up and be an adult and have a family and a husband. Wow, the fairy tale is nice isn't it. I wish they told us about the realities when we were growing up. Like you will be working your entire life to pay for the home you will hardly be in. Enjoy!
Stayed home again today. Had to take K to the Dr for his last appointment for his foot. Hoping to figure out why my insurance hasn't paid anything on it yet. He has a bill that is larger than B's for her surgery. I'm not understanding it. I really don't like my insurance company. The insurance for my prescriptions is the worst thing ever. I either get them through the mail or I pay a ton at the pharmacy. So far I have just been paying a ton.
I need to get back on track with my life and get a resume done and find me a better job. I don't know where but I know that there has got to be something out there for me that pays more money. I really need to be able to buy groceries. I'm so broke right now that I feel like it's the end of the world. I am contemplating a second job until I can get some of my bills paid.
This life really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I spent my entire childhood excited to grow up and be an adult and have a family and a husband. Wow, the fairy tale is nice isn't it. I wish they told us about the realities when we were growing up. Like you will be working your entire life to pay for the home you will hardly be in. Enjoy!
Monday..
August 1, 2016....
I am actually writing on the 2nd as I just noticed it is almost 1. I went in late for work today and have to go in late tomorrow or not at all as I have to figure out how I'm gonna get my prescription
I am completely out of my Zoloft and it's giving me great stress. I keep telling myself to breath
everything will be just fine.
I'm completely out of money and don't know when I'm gonna get the child support. I have been
getting it on Tuesday but because I desperately need it, I don't have a single call from them today.
So depressing. We are also about out of food. I am not sure what to do for dinner tomorrow but as
T says "That's when you get creative". Tomorrow I think I'll try something with hamburger and
potatoes. Maybe I can stop at my moms house and pick up some cheese on the way home from K's appointment. Either way I really am gonna have to be creative because I am out of all starches except a few potatoes. I made two different boxes of pasta today so they could have their
pick and still get something in their stomachs. I'm still hungry so they probably are too.
I don't like being broke but I'm trying to remain optimistic that something will happen to turn things around for us.
August already. Hot as can be today just as it's been for weeks now. I love summer and it makes me sad that I can't tolerate the high temperatures because I sure like to be warm. School will be starting back up soon. So far I have bought J a binder, a folder, and a shirt. Big spender, ya that's me.
Wish I had money to take her to the mall and let her shop and be all spoiled, but I so don't. Maybe in another lifetime.
Things are good for me and my love. He is out of town for work in Moab this week. (He is also working in another city but can't remember what that one was called.. Lola or something) Bless him working in the heat day after day. I couldn't do it. Although I complain on a daily basis about being cold my whole day at work and then coming home and being cold again, he would probably rather be sitting cold in an office all day rather than burning up, but he gets to travel, make the big bucks, and see the world go on while he works. I'm very proud of him. He has a really cool job.
I am actually writing on the 2nd as I just noticed it is almost 1. I went in late for work today and have to go in late tomorrow or not at all as I have to figure out how I'm gonna get my prescription
I am completely out of my Zoloft and it's giving me great stress. I keep telling myself to breath
everything will be just fine.
I'm completely out of money and don't know when I'm gonna get the child support. I have been
getting it on Tuesday but because I desperately need it, I don't have a single call from them today.
So depressing. We are also about out of food. I am not sure what to do for dinner tomorrow but as
T says "That's when you get creative". Tomorrow I think I'll try something with hamburger and
potatoes. Maybe I can stop at my moms house and pick up some cheese on the way home from K's appointment. Either way I really am gonna have to be creative because I am out of all starches except a few potatoes. I made two different boxes of pasta today so they could have their
pick and still get something in their stomachs. I'm still hungry so they probably are too.
I don't like being broke but I'm trying to remain optimistic that something will happen to turn things around for us.
August already. Hot as can be today just as it's been for weeks now. I love summer and it makes me sad that I can't tolerate the high temperatures because I sure like to be warm. School will be starting back up soon. So far I have bought J a binder, a folder, and a shirt. Big spender, ya that's me.
Wish I had money to take her to the mall and let her shop and be all spoiled, but I so don't. Maybe in another lifetime.
Things are good for me and my love. He is out of town for work in Moab this week. (He is also working in another city but can't remember what that one was called.. Lola or something) Bless him working in the heat day after day. I couldn't do it. Although I complain on a daily basis about being cold my whole day at work and then coming home and being cold again, he would probably rather be sitting cold in an office all day rather than burning up, but he gets to travel, make the big bucks, and see the world go on while he works. I'm very proud of him. He has a really cool job.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Saturday
July 30, 2016....
Bored out of my mind!!!! It's hotter than hades here in salt lake today. Felt like 100 first thing this morning. I've started laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. I've checked the garden for vegetables and picked what I could. Now I am bored out of my mind! T is still asleep on the couch and so I can't watch tv or hang in the front room.
We have plans this evening but not the rest of the day. We are bored, did I mention? J is with the donor so we don't have to watch her. The rest can deal with themselves since they are supposed to be adults lol.
When do we get to start worrying about us for a change instead of the grown up adults in our basement? What is wrong with todays generation that they think they are entitled to sit around playing video games and eating our food without ever having to work or earn anything for themselves. L went out and bought a drone for 1000 dollars just because, even though he owes his dad rent money. K spends all his money on video games and food, and B pays her insurance and buys her own stuff but wants my love to pay for her college. I haven't even finished paying for my own college.
I want to travel and save money for my future so I don't have to work forever. I want to be able to afford groceries and to pay my bills without all the stress and worry. Those adult children need to man up and start taking care of themselves. Tough love is coming up soon....
Bored out of my mind!!!! It's hotter than hades here in salt lake today. Felt like 100 first thing this morning. I've started laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. I've checked the garden for vegetables and picked what I could. Now I am bored out of my mind! T is still asleep on the couch and so I can't watch tv or hang in the front room.
We have plans this evening but not the rest of the day. We are bored, did I mention? J is with the donor so we don't have to watch her. The rest can deal with themselves since they are supposed to be adults lol.
When do we get to start worrying about us for a change instead of the grown up adults in our basement? What is wrong with todays generation that they think they are entitled to sit around playing video games and eating our food without ever having to work or earn anything for themselves. L went out and bought a drone for 1000 dollars just because, even though he owes his dad rent money. K spends all his money on video games and food, and B pays her insurance and buys her own stuff but wants my love to pay for her college. I haven't even finished paying for my own college.
I want to travel and save money for my future so I don't have to work forever. I want to be able to afford groceries and to pay my bills without all the stress and worry. Those adult children need to man up and start taking care of themselves. Tough love is coming up soon....
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Tuesday...
July 19, 2016..
Had another restless night. Tired of being exhausted yet wide awake and unable to sleep. I'm out of the anxiety meds that knock me out so I can't take those. Guess it's another thing to discuss with my Dr. I'm sure she has yet more pills to get rid of those twitches.
T has I guess decided to move to Oregon to be with his Dad. I'm happy and sad about it at the same time. I feel bad for K since he was going to be moving in with him but I hope he will be able to move in with his cousin when he comes back in March from the mission he's on now with the marines.
B leaves for school in about 4 weeks. It's gonna be weird with her gone I must say. L is still doing his thing in the basement of my house, atleast he's quiet and being respectful now though. Things seem to be settling down as the summer is gong along. I have not told my mom that T is leaving again, she is going to be so upset but at least he'll be with his dad this time and not on his own. Maybe they can help him see his worth and find something he enjoys doing so he can find a job. I hope it does him some good and leads him to happiness.
Our lives are about the same as far as the other 3 of us. Now if only I could get a job making decent money things would be even better. I would so love to be out of debt. I really would love to go to California on vacation next year. If we drove we could stop and see family in Vegas on our way and it wouldn't cost us for hotels. Dreams.....
Had another restless night. Tired of being exhausted yet wide awake and unable to sleep. I'm out of the anxiety meds that knock me out so I can't take those. Guess it's another thing to discuss with my Dr. I'm sure she has yet more pills to get rid of those twitches.
T has I guess decided to move to Oregon to be with his Dad. I'm happy and sad about it at the same time. I feel bad for K since he was going to be moving in with him but I hope he will be able to move in with his cousin when he comes back in March from the mission he's on now with the marines.
B leaves for school in about 4 weeks. It's gonna be weird with her gone I must say. L is still doing his thing in the basement of my house, atleast he's quiet and being respectful now though. Things seem to be settling down as the summer is gong along. I have not told my mom that T is leaving again, she is going to be so upset but at least he'll be with his dad this time and not on his own. Maybe they can help him see his worth and find something he enjoys doing so he can find a job. I hope it does him some good and leads him to happiness.
Our lives are about the same as far as the other 3 of us. Now if only I could get a job making decent money things would be even better. I would so love to be out of debt. I really would love to go to California on vacation next year. If we drove we could stop and see family in Vegas on our way and it wouldn't cost us for hotels. Dreams.....
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Tuesday
July 12, 2016...
Been on vacation for the last 10 days and it has been wonderful. I haven't taken a vacation like that before where I'm just off for so long in a row. I think I will start doing that every year. Next year I would like to go somewhere else like California or something. I'm bored with camping and although the national parks are awesome I don't really know what it's like to take other types of vacations and I would like to see more of the world than just Utah wilderness.
My love and I had a wonderful trip and it was relaxing and wonderful to be with him for 10 days without interruptions and drama. It was good to see my family I haven't seen in forever and we had a good time.
Coming home was not so good, our door was left wide open for as far as we can tell atleast 2 days. My boys may have left it open but the one staying here also left it open and didn't feel the need to shut it coming and going leaving it wide open for anyone to steal what they want. Whatever not his problem.
Been feeling a bit of anxiety since we returned but I do love my home and was very excited to be back in it when we got here. T cleaned before he left for Idaho so everything but dishes looked good and I didn't have to spend the rest of the day cleaning it. It was nice.
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Thursday..
June 30, 2016....
I'm feeling really down today. I'm low on funds and can't pay my bills. We are low on food as well. I just started my vacation today and was quite excited but then my love called to tell me that they are done but he doesn't feel like driving back today.
So I of course am feeling like I am completely unimportant to him. Not to mention that he's staying at his ex in laws house and so I am self conscious about that as well. I am trying to not dwell on it. I know he's probably tired from working all day and I have had a hellacious time in traffic today as well but I would totally want to get home to him.
I need to think of it more as peace and quiet and alone time for me not a punishment. I need to take the things I'm learning in therapy and use them to calm my mind. I'm sure he loves me. I'm sure he misses me. I'm sure things are never going to be like they once were and it makes me really sad.
The donor is of course an hour and twenty three minutes late picking up his daughter who of course is sitting at the window staring down the road. I have things to do and would rather not be waiting on him. Guess I could just go and let her show herself out but that would be a little rude.
This is not at all what I always pictured my life being as a child. The dream wasn't much but it was still better than always being alone in poverty. At least in the dream there was someone who loved me and kids that were happy and productive. I don't have either of those things. Guess I'll have to start working on that as well.
I'm feeling really down today. I'm low on funds and can't pay my bills. We are low on food as well. I just started my vacation today and was quite excited but then my love called to tell me that they are done but he doesn't feel like driving back today.
So I of course am feeling like I am completely unimportant to him. Not to mention that he's staying at his ex in laws house and so I am self conscious about that as well. I am trying to not dwell on it. I know he's probably tired from working all day and I have had a hellacious time in traffic today as well but I would totally want to get home to him.
I need to think of it more as peace and quiet and alone time for me not a punishment. I need to take the things I'm learning in therapy and use them to calm my mind. I'm sure he loves me. I'm sure he misses me. I'm sure things are never going to be like they once were and it makes me really sad.
The donor is of course an hour and twenty three minutes late picking up his daughter who of course is sitting at the window staring down the road. I have things to do and would rather not be waiting on him. Guess I could just go and let her show herself out but that would be a little rude.
This is not at all what I always pictured my life being as a child. The dream wasn't much but it was still better than always being alone in poverty. At least in the dream there was someone who loved me and kids that were happy and productive. I don't have either of those things. Guess I'll have to start working on that as well.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Wednesday
June 29, 2016...
Worked today but came home early. Not sick or anything but they asked and I just really didn't want to stay. I should though I need the money I just so don't like it there. Just tired today as well and after I picked up the girl and we got home I took a long nap.
Now I am doing laundry and making dinner. All in all not a bad day. The weather looked like rain, gray clouds and wind bending all the trees down and making my wind sock dance and fly. I was really hoping to get the summer storm I love so much but it only sprinkled for a few minutes and then was done. So I still have to go out and water my garden and flowers. It's too hot and the soil doesn't keep the water so I have to water them everyday.
One more day til I'm officially on vacation!! Excited to be off work for a bit. Plus my love will be home soon and he is off with me. A whole week off with my love. Wow. It's like a honeymoon with kids. Ha Ha
J will be with her Dad from tomorrow night until Monday night. So I do get a break from her and T is heading up to Idaho on a bus to see my Son from another Mother so he will be gone for a few days to see him then he leaves again on the 8th to visit his Dad in Idaho. K is going with him for a few days. B comes home Sunday from her trip to California. L comes home with my love tomorrow night. Man I wish I had lots of money so they could all be living someplace else.
Yellowstone will be next week and before we know it J will be heading back to school and we'll be dropping B off in Logan to go to school.
Worked today but came home early. Not sick or anything but they asked and I just really didn't want to stay. I should though I need the money I just so don't like it there. Just tired today as well and after I picked up the girl and we got home I took a long nap.
Now I am doing laundry and making dinner. All in all not a bad day. The weather looked like rain, gray clouds and wind bending all the trees down and making my wind sock dance and fly. I was really hoping to get the summer storm I love so much but it only sprinkled for a few minutes and then was done. So I still have to go out and water my garden and flowers. It's too hot and the soil doesn't keep the water so I have to water them everyday.
One more day til I'm officially on vacation!! Excited to be off work for a bit. Plus my love will be home soon and he is off with me. A whole week off with my love. Wow. It's like a honeymoon with kids. Ha Ha
J will be with her Dad from tomorrow night until Monday night. So I do get a break from her and T is heading up to Idaho on a bus to see my Son from another Mother so he will be gone for a few days to see him then he leaves again on the 8th to visit his Dad in Idaho. K is going with him for a few days. B comes home Sunday from her trip to California. L comes home with my love tomorrow night. Man I wish I had lots of money so they could all be living someplace else.
Yellowstone will be next week and before we know it J will be heading back to school and we'll be dropping B off in Logan to go to school.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
June 28, 2016...
Tuesday...
Made it through another shift and I'm down to 2 days until I go on vacation. I'm so excited. I'm also excited to go to Yellowstone and hope to have a much better trip than I did the last time I was there.
Today was 102 degrees and I sure felt it when I walked of work wearing long pants, a tank top, long sleeve thermal shirt, fleece zip up hoodie. Talk about baking on your way to the car. Love that I work in the arctic and live in the arctic and then I go outside and it's too hot for me. Despite being so blasted hot the clouds have moved in and the wind is picking up. I may get one of my favorite summer rain storms. That would be cool.
So broke from missing so much work and trying to play catch up. I don't even know what I'm gonna do for food the next week. Oh well I hope that things work out and I can get back to making my full pay checks.
I think I need to upgrade my resume and start looking for something else. I really like most of the people I work with but everyone is moving on, and I don't know any of the new people. I always feel like I'm not good enough so I don't apply for anything to move up. I don't know but I think a change would be good as well. Hard to find something with comparable vacation and sick pay. I could do without their insurance for prescriptions though.
Kids are doing the usual. K just got a raise and put in for full time again. Here's hoping he gets it and can get moved out soon. Now T needs to get a full time job and they should be set to move out assuming they can find a place to afford. Maybe something that has utilities included or something. Then I can get rid of L and my home will be free of the adult children. Love them to death but they all need to be moving out and learning to take care of themselves and make their own decisions and mistakes. We all have to do it I did when I was 18. Seems like a million lives ago.
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