Friday November 29, 2013....

     Paying bills today, always cheers a person right up.  I also went out today and bought my daughter a coat and boots. Not even Christmas stuff, but she needs them when it snows this week.  Everything is so expensive that it makes me sad I spent so much and it wasn't even Christmas.   Oh well....  I still ended my day smiling.
      My girl and I got our tree up, my son said he wanted to have a different tree than everyone else, and put all the longest branches in the middle so he looks like a chunky tree.  At first I was kindof not with the program, but then thought, 'what difference does it make?  He gets to have an opinion about the tree, we still have a beautiful tree. It still twinkles brightly and all the ornaments go on still.  In the end we left it how he had it.
      I am still so thankful for everything I have that is important.   I don't have a 5 bedroom mansion, but I have my kids, I don't have a new sports car, but I still make it to work, I don't have a million dollars but I do have my utilities paid and some food in the fridge.   It's all in how you look at things.   I may be homeless soon, but I will still have my inner peace.  I may not have money for vacations, but I have my health. I may not have enough to save for the future, but I have a future to watch unfold.
       I am thankful for the seasons, although there is one I could do without.  I am thankful for holidays, that give me extra time off. I am thankful for having the flexibility to see the things my kids do in school, and I am thankful that my kids go to good schools.
     I am thankful that I had the opportunity to live in a wonderful neighborhood growing up, and that my kids get the same opportunity.  I am thankful my kids love me and are good kids that mind what they are told, I don't have to worry about them when I am not around.   I am thankful they are helpful and that they humor me with traditions teenagers don't really care about.
      I am thankful for my siblings, even though they are all boys..  I am thankful for the childhood I lived so that I know how to handle the present moment and keep going with my head held high and a smile on my face.  The important thing is that I have a smile and I know more and more each day that no matter what happens I am becoming a new me.  I am becoming a happier and more peaceful me.
      I'm still working on the deep breath, and smile......  It's a work in progress....   

Thursday November 28, 2013.....

     No Thanksgiving miracles but I am still Thankful for the food that I'm pretty sure is busting to pop out.  I feel so stuffed I took the saying gobble til ya wobble a little too seriously.
      I am thankful for my family coming to my house for thanksgiving, I am thankful for my kids being home with me making wonderful memories, I am thankful there is no ice on the streets, I am thankful I still have several days off from work.  I am thankful my belly is so full of wonderful food, I am thankful my kids got enough wonderful food to fill them up as well.
      I am thankful for having time to play games with my daughter and forever thankful for the joy my kids give me.  I am thankful for my job and paycheck, for my car, and for having such a great life.  I am thankful for all my friends and coworkers that help me through each day.  I am thankful for having a heated dry place to sleep and spend our time together.
      I am thankful for indoor plumbing and hot showers, I am thankful for the wonderful scents of Thanksgiving dinner cooking in my little shabby kitchen.  Tasting just as wonderful as if it was cooked in a mansion.  I am thankful that I can smile when things are ruff, and thankful I haven't had a heart attack from all the food I just stuffed down.
      I am thankful I have a camera to capture the wonderful memories even if it isn't the one I really want.  I am thankful that I have so many things to be thankful for and that each day I think of more.
     I am thankful for the weather so far, I am thankful we have had it so mellow thus far.   I am thankful my son has a job and that my kids can go to school.  I am thankful they go to schools that are somewhat safe and that they have the opportunity to learn and grow.  I am thankful I know how to read, so I can escape into a new and different world and leave my problems behind.
      The new year is coming, and as always I will wish on a better year to come.  I don't know if this will be that year, but I know I am deserving some sunshine in my life real soon...

Wednesday November 27, 2013.....

     So thankful it is a holiday weekend.  Also thankful I have a four day weekend ahead of me.   During the month of November it easy to think of things that you are thankful for and I have been posting that on social networking sites as well as here, but I find that the list of things I'm thankful for, far out weigh the list of things that are wrong in my life.  The wrong things may be big right now, but may not necessarily be big tomorrow.
      Looking at things a little better has made me far less stressed than I used to be and helped my mind not be so muddled with things that may or may not happen.  I realize you can't bury your head and just think all is well, but at the same time if I just stay positive and keep thinking of the things that are good and right, it's easier to smile and look forward to tomorrow.
       I am thankful I get my kids for Thanksgiving dinner and I'm thankful I get to host the dinner at my house with my mom and brother coming to visit, I don't get many visitors so that is nice.   I am thankful we have food to eat and a dry warm place to be together.   I am thankful for my family and friends, and for everyone that puts up with me and my many moods. I am thankful for social networking sites that help me stay close to all my friends and family and I'm thankful for my computer that allows me to live so much easier.
       I am thankful for the long fall and the dry roads, I am thankful for my job and my paychecks.   I am thankful for my car even though it's having a time right now, I am thankful for my nieces and nephews and the happiness they bring me as well.  I am thankful for so much that none if it comes to me in order, like I'm thankful for my sight, hearing, and speech, and also for my health , as good as it is right now.  I am thankful for everything I have seen and done in my life, and I am thankful that I can pray whenever I feel the need.
       I am thankful for long hot summers, blue skies and sunshine.   I am thankful for flowers and summer and spring and fall even though they are not long enough.  I am thankful for living in such a beautiful state and being able to enjoy it's beauty, hiking , camping and just driving through.  I am thankful for being born in the freedom of the United States and appreciate every soldier who has fought to keep it so.
       I can go on, and on.. but I really need to get something done around this house, to host a Thanksgiving dinner for my family.   Be Thankful and safe to you all... Happy Thanksgiving eve.....

Tuesday November 26, 2013....

   I am thankful my car got me to and from work.  I'm thankful I have a job to go to and a pay check associated.  I am thankful for the wonderful flavors of garlic and sea salt with a little olive oil, I am thankful for a full stomach and knowing that my kids have eaten.  I am thankful I could put gas in my car and I pray it keeps running a while longer.
    I am thankful for my childrens laughter and for the laughter they give me with all their pranks and brilliant ideas. I love them so. I'm thankful for the holidays to bring us together and remind us even more how thankful we should be.
   I am thankful for having clothes to wear and shoes that don't have holes, even though I wear the holy ones more :)  I am thankful for the weather and would rather have the rain and cold winds than anything more.  I am thankful for all my blessings , even the ones I don't know I have. I try and find more in each day to be thankful for.
   I am also thankful I have brothers to help me out and put up with me even when they don't want to.  I am thankful for the process of taking a deep breath, it's gotten me through a couple situations today. 
   I am thankful for having the opportunity to be a home owner, no matter the shack that it really is.  It's dry atleast and doesn't keep the heat out much but it's dry.  I hope I can have the same outlook when we are moved out. 
    I am thankful for my job but I am still hopeful that I can find something that pays more.  I really deserve to have my own place.  My kids deserve their own rooms.  We are decent people and we deserve decent things. I am thankful for sleep as well and I can hear my soft squishy bed, and my fluffy pillows calling my name... so for now.. be thankful.

Monday November 25, 2013...

    Hello and I'm sorry I have not written my daily progress for the last couple days, I was getting online a couple days ago and received the blue screen of death so needless to say I had to get some issues fixed.  
     Today was definitely Monday, but never fear, I still left with a smile on my face, the sky was blue, the sun was out, or rather on it's way down nightfall.  Still smiling though.
     It is Thanksgiving week and  I am soooo excited for the long weekend.  I was expecting to have to work but at the last minute got it off. I'm pretty excited. I don't know what I am doing for money for Christmas but hopefully something great will come up.
     I am thankful my car is still running even though my transmission is going out.  I am thankful I have a job to go to each day and a pay check that comes with it.  I am thankful for my family, friends, co workers, and kids.  I am thankful I have a dry place to lay my head and food to feed my kids.   I am grateful I had gas to get to work.
     I am thankful people still use checks , even though I get out of patience for anyone writing a check in front of me at a convenience store.  I am thankful for Holidays to bring family together to make memories. I am thankful I can enjoy the little things, and I think of more each day.  I am thankful for the birds and for the butterflies.  I am thankful for hot coffee in the cold, and warm blankets and fireplaces.   I am thankful for candle light
and quiet nights at home.  I am thankful for so many things I may not ever mention. 
     Each day there is more to be thankful for and each day I find it easier to smile.  Easier to let things go, and easier to pray and just leave it in god's hands, then deal with what I'm given later.

Thursday November 21, 2013...

   Thankful for having a day off in the middle of the week.  Wish it hadn't been such winter weather but it is that time of year I supposed.  Today was a suffocating day though, with dark clouds pressing down upon me, crushing my lungs.  I made it through though, and although I didn't accomplish much , I did accomplish a few things and that is alright.
     I am getting Christmas fever even though I have no money to get Christmas with.  I really wish I could figure out a way to make money on the side. I know there has to be something, someway.  I'll keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and I 'm sure something will come to me.
     We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year, I hope it is ok with everyone but I think that it would mean a lot to the kids and especially Jazmin to have it here with it being our last year in this house.
     I am thankful we have been able to experience having our own place, with our own yard and space for our pets.   The house has always been leaving a lot to desire in the space department in general but I am grateful to be out of the wind, rain, snow and cold.  I am thankful to have a job to be able to pay the heat bill and I am thankful to have a steady paycheck no matter how small it is.  Some people don't have anything at all.
     I am thankful for the experiences I have had, even if they haven't all been good, I am learning and growing and becoming stronger than I ever thought I could be.  I will surpass this phase and move toward a brighter tomorrow.  I will do it with a smile on my face and a grateful heart and soul.  The stresses they will come and go, but I will remain looking forward and every day trying to make myself a better person, to find who I want to be.

Wednesday November 20, 2013...

   Today there have been a couple challenges in traffic and dealing with the masses, (notice I didn't say idiots) I actually did some deep breathing and slowed down and let things happen as they needed to.  It was remarkable not getting myself all worked up.
    I am grateful that it's rain and so far, not snow.  I'm grateful I haven't had to drive in the dangerous stuff thus far in the season.  I am hopeful that it continues around us and not over us. Not that it isn't a beautiful sight to see but it's just so dangerous to drive on.
    I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and gas to get to the job that I am also thankful for.  I am thankful when I get a paycheck even though it all goes to bills, atleast I have the check to pay them.  I am thankful for my co-workers who care about my struggles and make a point of finding out how I am and what's going on with me.
    I am thankful as always for my family and friends, for the support that they all show and the endless hours of venting they endure.  I am thankful for my kids and the laughter and love they bring me. I am thankful God let me be their mom.
    I am thankful that I am on this journey to happiness and find it working more everyday.  Although there are always set backs, things that happen that still get under my skin and push the stress buttons up to high, I still feel like there is more and more peace settling itself inside my soul.
    Each day that passes I find myself thinking more about my future and what I can do to improve it, and less and less about the past, it's pain, and the things I cannot change.  I need to leave the past behind where it belongs and move forward into a new future filled with happiness, and peace.

Tuesday November 19, 2013...

    I am thankful more and more each day but think you will all tire of the same old things.  I am of course thankful for my children, always first and foremost.  I am thankful I have a job to get up for and an alarm to wake me up and get me going. 
     I am thankful my work gives us Einstein Bros. Bagels when we earn a reward, and they also supply lots of yummy schmear.  We ate some today and get more in the next few weeks for winning the traveling trophy.  A silly reward really but one that earns food, and well atleast they notice the little things we do, that's got to make you feel good too.
     I am thankful for my car that takes us to and fro and I am thankful that I had money to fill the tank.  I am thankful that when I come home after a bad day at work there waits my family, telling me hello, asking about my day and genuinely caring how it all went down.
    I am thankful for my daughter, who every day teaches me that someone else might have it worse and at least we are not as bad off as some people.  We have each other and there is always a bright side in her mind.  She makes me laugh and makes me feel loved.  She thanks me for the things I do for her and most kids don't .   I am thankful for my boys who teach me patience and make me laugh.
     I am thankful for a warm dry bed to lay my head at night and although I don't want what's coming it's nice to have a reason to get up for another day. I am thankful for the job and the pay check it provides.  I'm thankful that I can atleast make something to support my kids and give them the necessities of life.
     Off to lay down and get some rest, hope that when the sun rises again it won't be white and icy.  But if it is I will pray for a safe journey and be thankful tomorrow when I am home safe again.

Monday November 18, 2013....

     Ahhh Monday, what can we say about you?  I'm just going to say that atleast the workday went quickly and I wish they all went so fast.   My mom made us dinner so I didn't have to cook when I got home, which is also another welcome thing that almost never happens to me. 
      I got to read a little of my book and got some laundry and dishes done.  I put in a full day at work, and helped daughter with her homework, all in all a pretty peaceful day.  I am smiling as we speak.  Not for any real reason other than it hasn't been awful today and I'm thankful.
       I have also discovered quite recently that the raw pain of recent events has suddenly lifted.  It comes back on occasion, just for a second trying to push it's ugly head into memories.  I am able to block it out more and more.  Each day is still a struggle but it gets so much easier.
       I am thankful I didn't have to make dinner tonight and had more time for other things. I am thankful my daughter gets her homework done without too much trouble from me, and I'm thankful she is getting better at reading and also loves having me read to her.  I am thankful I have sight to see the words, and the knowledge to read books.  I am thankful we still have a dry place to sleep and food to eat.
      I am as always thankful for my family and friends, and I'm thankful for Jesus, dying for my sins.  I am thankful for the dry roads so far and hope that when the storms do come they aren't bad during driving times.  I am thankful for my health (though it could be better) I am thankful for the peace that enters my heart and drives away the stress and anxiety from my soul.  May each day get better and each moment get happier until I've healed myself , patched my heart and listened to my soul.

Sunday November 18, 2013...

     Although the weekend started out badly It ended pretty good.  We had a wonderful Sunday dinner and although it's late as usual, I guess we are ready to start another week.
      The grind is starting to become the grind and hopefully soon I can have enough change in my life for it to become something different. Maybe soon I'll actually be happy for Monday to come a long. 
      I am thankful for quiet weekends at home, and playing games, laughing and talking.  I am thankful for holidays to celebrate and things that bring family together.   I am thankful for Turkey and Pie and everything in between, and remember all the wonderful memories of how it used to be.
      I am thankful that no matter what happens tomorrow, I will learn and grow and become that much stronger.   I am thankful that though I thought I was broken forever I am slowly learning that not only will I not be broken forever, but I will also be better than I ever was before.

Thursday November 14, 2014....

    Winter is upon us and doesn't look like it's gonna stop, right at the go.  It's supposed to snow all weekend and I hope it doesn't snow bad.  The temps are also supposed to drop tomorrow.  Fun stuff!!
      Smiled a lot today.  Can't wait until I am done and everything is figured out.  Then I'll be able to start moving on with my life.  Now that makes me very happy.  I found myself also taking some deep breaths today, although to be fair I woke up pretty dizzy so I was also taking deep breaths trying to get my dizziness to go away.
     I am thankful for snow when I can sit at a window and drink coffee while watching it come down, knowing I don't have to drive in it.  I am thankful for my job and my family friends, and children.
     I am thankful for the life I have with my kids and I'm thankful I had food for them another day.  I am thankful we have heat as the temperatures begin to drop.  I am thankful I am becoming this new person that doesn't always stress, and doesn't always look at the negative.
     I am thankful that no matter what has happened in the past, I will eventually move on to better and brighter things.
    

Wednesday November 13, 2013....

    I would like to say something thought provoking but my mind is always jumbled with thoughts of how I'm going to afford to raise my kids off the streets and out of shelters..  so thoughts are not to provoking.
    Work went by far too slow for my liking but I managed to be smiling when I left.  I didn't even pound my head against the desk today.  I try and remind myself, when asked the same question for the 5th time in less than a minute, that perhaps the lovely person on the other end of the phone just can't hear me well, I know sometimes I can't hear them worth anything. 
    I try to get through my calls with a smile, mostly successful and my hopes are that I will get a decent score on my calls this month. That would be good.
    I am thankful for my shower, hot water and my fluffy soft robe.   I am thankful I had food to feed my kids another day and a dry place for them to sleep for now. I am thankful it didn't snow today and was somewhat warm again.
    I am thankful I have a job and a paycheck to pay the never ending bills. I am thankful I am on this journey to become happy because by now, if I weren't I may be contemplating suicide.  I wouldn't do it, I would just be thinking it everyday and that does nobody any good.  Much better to be smiling. 
     I will hold my head high, I will go on and be stronger than I ever was before.  I don't know how, I don't know where but it will be better than it's ever been, for me and for them.

Tuesday November 12, 2013....


    I am thankful we had a warm sunny day today, I am grateful it is almost Thanksgiving and we get to see family and eat wonderful foods. I am grateful that I am not such a horrible person that I can only think of myself and not my child (children).
    I am thankful that I am on a quest for happiness and that I am truly wanting to let this all go.  I am thankful as always for my children and my family and friends.
    Even through a really tough day I have walked away from it with nothing more than a little headache, laughter in my voice and a smile on my face. I will never be the wretched thing he has become, and that too makes me so full of gratitude.

Saturday November 9, 2013.....

    What a great day.  Beautiful warm sunshine and blue skies.   I slept in, made coffee, checked out my face book, did laundry, dishes, took my son to work, raked my yard, cleaned my house, read in my book, made a fall wreath for my front door, made dinner, cleaned the garbage out of my car,  picked my son up, caught up with my show on Netflix and I still have tomorrow left before the new week begins.
     I am antsy for Tuesday court will not be fun I'm sure of it, but I'm leaving it in God's hands and whatever happens, is what is supposed to happen so I am trying not to stress out to much. 
     I have smiled a lot today.  I was smiling when I woke to sun and blue skies, I was smiling when I was raking (because I love raking the crunchy fall leaves up), I was smiling when my house was cleaner, laughing out right while I watched my show, smiled while making my wreath and was smiling almost to tears at how beautiful the sunset was tonight.  It was like a sunset ocean in the sky.  The clouds looked like ocean waves all in pink and orange with a blue sky background.  The most beautiful thing I have ever seen this far in my life. I am thankful I was able to see it.
    Thankful I got so much done today and didn't sit around moping and being sad and depressed.   I am thankful I got to start my Christmas shopping yesterday with my sister.   I am thankful as always for my wonderful kids and family and friends.
     I am thankful for the warm sun on my face and for having a beautiful warm weekend even those are gonna be few all too soon.  I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and a warm dry place for them to sleep.
     I am thankful I have a credit card I can use to get my car fixed tomorrow and hopefully it won't be to awfully much.   I am thankful it hasn't broken down yet even though it takes a lot of punishment from me.  
     The more thankful I become, the more aware of the little things I am.  I find each day's trials to be a little less stressful and know in my heart that whatever tomorrow brings positivity will only make everything better.   One day at a time....

Thursday November 7, 2013....

    Today started with a beautiful sunrise.  Got to work on time, and it pretty much went down from there.  With the exception of wanting to bash my head into my desk a couple of times, I plugged on through it with a smile on my face.   Thank goodness for my friends laughing with me and helping me get through it.
     We had a wonderful dinner of homemade spaghetti and garlic butter croissants.  Ran my son on some errands and came home and read which is one of my favorite past times and does make me happy.
     I'm starting to realize how much it does help to try and laugh through the stress, and also how much the problems seem less stressful when you are finding so many things to be grateful for. 
     I keep seeing so many things that say to be grateful for what you have, don't focus on what you don't have and just live your life and be happy.  I'm happy to say that it may sound silly but it is so true.  I don't have a million dollars.  I don't have a place to call home.  I don't have enough money to truly support my kids. I don't always have food to feed them, but, I do have a job that pays me money to support them better than I could without a job.  I do have a dry place with heat for them to sleep, and I have a family and friends who always make sure we have food to eat even if it means going to eat with them.
   I am thankful for all that I do have, and find that my priorities of what I want have certainly changed since I have found my self on my own.  It's not about the movies, toys, electronics, or the material items but the necessities and really that's all that matters.
    I am thankful to have my children they are my life and I would be nothing without them.  I am thankful as always for my family and friends.  I am also thankful for the sunrise and sunset each day I get to witness it.  I am thankful for eyes to see the beautiful colors around me.  I am thankful for laughter and hope.  I am thankful for the ability to cook food my children enjoy.  I am thankful I can read and write, two of the most important things to me.  
     I am thankful I am me, and even though so days I wish I was anyone but me, I know there is a reason God made me who I am , and I pray I can become everything he wanted me to be.

Wednesday November 6, 2013...

    Today I was trying to be upbeat and happy, at least more happy than I was yesterday.  I managed it most of the day although my customers were trying my patience all day.  I guess everyone has their days but I would just like to repeat Monday as far as customers calling in. 
     Got my sons tooth fixed today and was able to feed my kids some take out for a change.  All in all a pretty good day.  I am really tired though and plan to be getting to bed earlier than normal.  Hoping I won't have more of the weird dreams I had last night.
     I am grateful I was able to get my son to the dentist, grateful we could have take out for a change, and grateful it didn't snow today.  I am grateful as always for my family and friends and my wonderful children.
     I am grateful that no matter what tomorrow will come and someday I will find my path.  I am grateful I am strong enough to smile when I am feeling like crying and grateful that when I am literally dizzy from the stress I can calm myself with a deep breath and a prayer.
     I am grateful for my job and it's paycheck no matter how small and I'm grateful they offer insurance so I don't have to pay for Obama's.  I am grateful he won't be president forever and pray the next one will be better.
     I am grateful we had a warm place to lay our heads tonight and that I can afford to pay my gas bill.  I am grateful I got my leaves cleaned up before it got cold.  I am grateful ORS finally got my some money from the deadbeat and that will hopefully start going better.  I am grateful this nightmare is almost over and no matter what happens in court, I am moving forward with my life.

Tuesday,  November 5, 2013....

   I am really not happy today, too much going on but I am smiling through it and still thankful for a lot of stuff so here goes,
    I am thankful I made it safely to drop off my kiddos and get back across the city to work in the icy snow storm we woke up to.  I am thankful I have a job to risk my life getting to and that it at least pays most of the bills. I am thankful that I have food to feed my kids this week and a warm place for them to lay their heads at night.
    I am thankful for the ability to read and write and smile through the tears. I am thankful as always for my family and the friends who I bore to death with the constant venting about the unfairness of the everyday dramas in my life.
     I am thankful I can see and hear and touch and feel and even though my heart is guarded by a steel enforced door, I still have the ability to love the ones who don't hurt me.  I am thankful the sun came out and melted the nasty snow leaving dry roads to travel home on. 
     The more things I think of being thankful for the more the stressful things seem non significant.   Tomorrow I will pray for a better day and answers to today's stress.

Monday November 4, 2013.....

   Tired beyond all reason, was up all too late last night, made it through the day God made me, and I prayed this morning that it would go fast and that I would have a good day, and guess what, it went speedy quick and I had an excellent day.  Maybe not everything went my way, I am supposed to take my son to a dentist appointment and can't get the time off but otherwise the day was great.
    I'm thankful to have had such a good day, I'm thankful we had money for groceries and gas in the car. I'm thankful I could pay the bills.  I'm thankful we have a dry place to sleep and heat to keep us warm.
    As always I'm thankful for my family , and friends and my kids most of all they are my greatest blessing.
    I have kept a smile on my face today and taken a couple deep breaths but being this tired I'm surprised the moods weren't swinging.  Perhaps all this staying conscience of being happy is working.

Sunday November 3, 2013....

    Today was a relaxing day.  I've done nothing but a couple loads of laundry.  Mostly spent the day watching Supernatural with my kids.  I love and hate that show all at the same time.  It snowed this morning.  Nothing much, but still I am not ready to be driving back and forth in it.  I'm not ready for a lot of things but especially not snow.
     I have had a lot of things going through my head today, not all of them happy, but not all of them sad either.   In my quest for happiness I think that you can't always be happy every minute of every day.  There are so many things that are getting me down.  Still though smiling seems to be a good way to get past them. 
      When a new horror begins to unfold, like my son jumping off a moving vehicle and breaking his front tooth, I take a deep breath and as I feel the stress coming on heavy , I simply remind myself that I am stronger than this.  I can get over this one, and the next one and the one after that.  After all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and if it kills you, well you are dead so it can't stress you out right?
       I am thankful for my friends, family, and especially my kids.   I am thankful for their love, even the teenager who doesn't say it often, and I am thankful that I had food to feed them for the weekend and a warm dry place for them to sleep.  I am thankful for the weekend even though it isn't long enough, and I'm thankful that I have a job to go to during the week. 
      I am thankful for so much more but tonight think i'll just leave with that.  Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully new and wonderful things will happen in it.

Saturday November 2, 2013....

    Thankful for a beautiful fall day, spent with my daughter and family.  Cleaned the house and raked leaves in the yard, went to the zoo with my daughter, and then visited my mom for her Birthday.  Raked some of her leaves too, then came home and watched a movie with my daughter and Son. 
     It was  a lovely relaxing day.  I wish Saturdays had a bunch more hours in them but I guess I'll just wake up tomorrow and make the most of that day as well.  I prefer to sleep in and do nothing on Sundays, but maybe if I start doing different things than normal, I'll get different results in my life.
      I'm thankful as always for my family and friends. I'm thankful it's the month to tell everyone all you are thankful for.  I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and time to spend with my daughter.   I am thankful I am becoming less stressed and more calm when things happen in my life, and I am thankful that with each new thing I have to be thankful for , it's one more thing to make me happy.
      I'm thankful that I have a job and a paycheck to pay the bills, and I'm thankful for the roof over our heads and the heat that warms us.  I'm thankful we have somewhere to lay our heads at night, when so many don't .
    I'm thankful that I can smile through the stress and realize that my head makes things so much worse than they really are. I'm thankful I am starting to see that tomorrow holds such promise and just because he held us back from having anything nice, doesn't mean that I can't have a better home and dreams in the future.   I'm thankful , for that matter, that I can dream in the first place.
     I'm thankful for all my friends that are still here putting up with me even though so many couldn't.  I'm thankful for their love and support no matter what I'm venting and how Im hating, they just understand and let me get it all off my chest.
       Tomorrow is supposed to snow.  I'm not too thankful for that although I am thankful for the water it brings us here in this desert state.  Stay tuned , depending on the amount of snow that falls will determine the smile on my face tomorrow... but for now, forgive, deep breath, and smile.....