Wednesday November 13, 2013....

    I would like to say something thought provoking but my mind is always jumbled with thoughts of how I'm going to afford to raise my kids off the streets and out of shelters..  so thoughts are not to provoking.
    Work went by far too slow for my liking but I managed to be smiling when I left.  I didn't even pound my head against the desk today.  I try and remind myself, when asked the same question for the 5th time in less than a minute, that perhaps the lovely person on the other end of the phone just can't hear me well, I know sometimes I can't hear them worth anything. 
    I try to get through my calls with a smile, mostly successful and my hopes are that I will get a decent score on my calls this month. That would be good.
    I am thankful for my shower, hot water and my fluffy soft robe.   I am thankful I had food to feed my kids another day and a dry place for them to sleep for now. I am thankful it didn't snow today and was somewhat warm again.
    I am thankful I have a job and a paycheck to pay the never ending bills. I am thankful I am on this journey to become happy because by now, if I weren't I may be contemplating suicide.  I wouldn't do it, I would just be thinking it everyday and that does nobody any good.  Much better to be smiling. 
     I will hold my head high, I will go on and be stronger than I ever was before.  I don't know how, I don't know where but it will be better than it's ever been, for me and for them.