December 30, 2013....
Here I am, on the verge on a New Year. I am going to make it the best year yet, I'm not sure how I'm going to do that I just know I am. I am hoping to finally get past the block in my head and figure out what is going to make me money so I can support myself and my kids. Without even Child Support would be ideal but I need to at least be able to pay our mortgage , or rent or whatever..
I am grateful as always for everything I have, and also for everyone in my life. My family, friends and mostly my kids. I am forever grateful I have a job and even though it doesn't cover it all it covers most of it.
I am hopeful for the New Year. I am hopeful it will be the year I am finally divorced and also the year I can support myself. I am also hopeful that I can accomplish some goals and I would like to meet some new people and try something new as well. I don't know, maybe a class or something not sure but would like to try something new. I don't care for resolutions but I am working on a new list of goals short term and long term.
At the top of that list is BE HAPPY. And that is the main thing i'll be working on.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Sunday December 29, 2013...
Lazing about with my daughter, trying not to stress about how I'm going to pay my bills. It sucks the energy and happiness right out of you to stress about everything that you have no control over. I keep learning that lesson. It's better to just wait and see what happens and then stress over what you can actually do something about. The rest is just going to have to take care of itself somehow.
The New Year is upon us and I don't know if I'm going to have a resolution or not. Nobody ever keeps them like a bunch of lies to ourselves that we know ahead of time is never going to happen. But I do wonder if I should have a new set of goals going on. I really need to get myself a better paying job. I also need to get out of debt and get my credit back in order so I can save to buy my own place.
It may take awhile. I may have to work two jobs somehow. I may not get much sleep and probably will be grumpy about it but in the end it will be so much better for me. New goals would be nice since I haven't updated them in awhile and the last ones will still be on the list but hopefully will get crossed off this year.
I am so grateful for everything I have and think that no matter what happens in court I am still ok with a whole life still ahead of me that I can make wonderful with or without someone else in it. I don't know what I am supposed to be taught by all this but I do know that as the years pass by it should be easier and easier.
There have been several set backs this week, but otherwise I am still feeling happier each day. The days that I do have a set back and blow up about something don't hang on forever anymore, and I find that once I have slept on the problems they suddenly don't seem so bad anymore. They are still there of course. I still can't pay my utilities and don't know what I'm gonna do for groceries, but suddenly doesn't seem like something I should worry about. After all, there is not a thing I can do about it.
What I can do is play with my daughter and make memories that will live in her mind and heart forever. I can bake cookies, and clean my house and laugh, and dance and sing out of key. I can relax and watch tv with my daughter snuggled up tight. I don't have to spend my day, stressed and sad and angry and sick. That is my choice. I choose to live it happy....
Lazing about with my daughter, trying not to stress about how I'm going to pay my bills. It sucks the energy and happiness right out of you to stress about everything that you have no control over. I keep learning that lesson. It's better to just wait and see what happens and then stress over what you can actually do something about. The rest is just going to have to take care of itself somehow.
The New Year is upon us and I don't know if I'm going to have a resolution or not. Nobody ever keeps them like a bunch of lies to ourselves that we know ahead of time is never going to happen. But I do wonder if I should have a new set of goals going on. I really need to get myself a better paying job. I also need to get out of debt and get my credit back in order so I can save to buy my own place.
It may take awhile. I may have to work two jobs somehow. I may not get much sleep and probably will be grumpy about it but in the end it will be so much better for me. New goals would be nice since I haven't updated them in awhile and the last ones will still be on the list but hopefully will get crossed off this year.
I am so grateful for everything I have and think that no matter what happens in court I am still ok with a whole life still ahead of me that I can make wonderful with or without someone else in it. I don't know what I am supposed to be taught by all this but I do know that as the years pass by it should be easier and easier.
There have been several set backs this week, but otherwise I am still feeling happier each day. The days that I do have a set back and blow up about something don't hang on forever anymore, and I find that once I have slept on the problems they suddenly don't seem so bad anymore. They are still there of course. I still can't pay my utilities and don't know what I'm gonna do for groceries, but suddenly doesn't seem like something I should worry about. After all, there is not a thing I can do about it.
What I can do is play with my daughter and make memories that will live in her mind and heart forever. I can bake cookies, and clean my house and laugh, and dance and sing out of key. I can relax and watch tv with my daughter snuggled up tight. I don't have to spend my day, stressed and sad and angry and sick. That is my choice. I choose to live it happy....
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Wednesday December 25, 2013....
Well here it is Christmas day, come and gone. The kids seemed to be ok even though we had barely any presents under our tree. They of course were being nice for me. I am having a happy day by sure force of will. I can think of a million things that would have made it a better day for them and everything needs money so never mind.
Still very grateful I got to have my daughter for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning but I really wish I had gotten stuff to make a nice Christmas breakfast for them. I never do anything right but I guess it gives me the chance to make it better next year.
I have been praying for a month now for a Christmas miracle. For someone to show up and leave me some money to either pay my bills and get food or to help with Christmas for the kids. Nothing of course but I found out today that my Aunt who is really broke and wasn't able to get her kids anything, got a box of oranges with 200 dollars from a man she doesn't even know, and another friend got a pair of needed boots outside her door and has no idea who gave those. So, I guess although my prayers weren't answered for me, God knew what he was doing and helped those who needed it more than me. So kudos for God, knowing who to help.
I hope that this year I can find a second job so I can get out of debt and find myself a life. Then next year maybe I can help someone who needs it. Maybe I can be an elf.
Well here it is Christmas day, come and gone. The kids seemed to be ok even though we had barely any presents under our tree. They of course were being nice for me. I am having a happy day by sure force of will. I can think of a million things that would have made it a better day for them and everything needs money so never mind.
Still very grateful I got to have my daughter for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning but I really wish I had gotten stuff to make a nice Christmas breakfast for them. I never do anything right but I guess it gives me the chance to make it better next year.
I have been praying for a month now for a Christmas miracle. For someone to show up and leave me some money to either pay my bills and get food or to help with Christmas for the kids. Nothing of course but I found out today that my Aunt who is really broke and wasn't able to get her kids anything, got a box of oranges with 200 dollars from a man she doesn't even know, and another friend got a pair of needed boots outside her door and has no idea who gave those. So, I guess although my prayers weren't answered for me, God knew what he was doing and helped those who needed it more than me. So kudos for God, knowing who to help.
I hope that this year I can find a second job so I can get out of debt and find myself a life. Then next year maybe I can help someone who needs it. Maybe I can be an elf.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Tuesday December 24, 2013...
Christmas Eve. My daughter is coughing and running a fever but is currently sleeping soundly. Hopefully feeling better tomorrow. I am having a completely wonderful day (since I got off work and collected my children)
We don't have much this year for Christmas and I hope she doesn't ask the dreaded why didn't Santa get you a present Mommy? , question. I always just say that I guess I wasn't very good. I have already opened my present from her and I am always so grateful for the presents my kids make me. She gave me a wreathe and an ornament with her picture on it. I love them both.
I am currently watching A Christmas Story which just always cracks you up. That lamp is classic and I wish I had one to put in my front window for Christmas.
I was not a very nice girl at work but I have since changed my attitude and am hoping to have a lovely day tomorrow and get back to work with a good attitude and get some good scores on my calls.
According to Norad, Santa is in Michigan. He's working his way here and hopefully she'll like the things she gets. I know.. it's not about what you get but to an 8 yr old child it's the best thing in the world and I just hope that she enjoys the big day.
I will enjoy watching them open their presents and enjoy their new things. I will be happy that it is over and I can just concentrate on getting bills paid. The New Year is upon us and I hope that it is indeed a New Year and not the same old disappointment. I know, it is what we make it. Well I say let's make it great.
Christmas Eve. My daughter is coughing and running a fever but is currently sleeping soundly. Hopefully feeling better tomorrow. I am having a completely wonderful day (since I got off work and collected my children)
We don't have much this year for Christmas and I hope she doesn't ask the dreaded why didn't Santa get you a present Mommy? , question. I always just say that I guess I wasn't very good. I have already opened my present from her and I am always so grateful for the presents my kids make me. She gave me a wreathe and an ornament with her picture on it. I love them both.
I am currently watching A Christmas Story which just always cracks you up. That lamp is classic and I wish I had one to put in my front window for Christmas.
I was not a very nice girl at work but I have since changed my attitude and am hoping to have a lovely day tomorrow and get back to work with a good attitude and get some good scores on my calls.
According to Norad, Santa is in Michigan. He's working his way here and hopefully she'll like the things she gets. I know.. it's not about what you get but to an 8 yr old child it's the best thing in the world and I just hope that she enjoys the big day.
I will enjoy watching them open their presents and enjoy their new things. I will be happy that it is over and I can just concentrate on getting bills paid. The New Year is upon us and I hope that it is indeed a New Year and not the same old disappointment. I know, it is what we make it. Well I say let's make it great.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Monday December 23, 2013....
The eve of the big Eve. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am having to trudge off to work. Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to take Jazmin to my moms but yes I have to do that so we have to go early. I'll need to get to bed soon.
I am thankful to have a job though so hopefully the day won't be a complete joke. Today wasn't too bad but the morning seemed to trudge on forever. I hope it's slow so I can read between calls now and then, it helps to make the time go faster.
My daughter is so excited for Santa to visit. I have told her not to get her hopes up to high because I am broke but it's so sweet that she still believes. I hope she believes for awhile.
I am excited to have the day off paid and right in the middle of the week too. Grateful to be able to provide even a small Christmas for my kids because after all something is better than nothing and I have something for all of them. Grateful to have the day off to spend with them. One of them is with his Dad in Oregon and the other will still be home with me when my daughter goes with her Dad.
I am grateful to have some time to reflect on the year and all the things I can be thankful for including that my car is still running and hasn't yet broken down on me.
I am planning to relax and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas day with as little stress as possible. It will make me very happy to have more relaxing going on. Hope everyone else has a Happy Holiday no matter what you celebrate.
The eve of the big Eve. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am having to trudge off to work. Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to take Jazmin to my moms but yes I have to do that so we have to go early. I'll need to get to bed soon.
I am thankful to have a job though so hopefully the day won't be a complete joke. Today wasn't too bad but the morning seemed to trudge on forever. I hope it's slow so I can read between calls now and then, it helps to make the time go faster.
My daughter is so excited for Santa to visit. I have told her not to get her hopes up to high because I am broke but it's so sweet that she still believes. I hope she believes for awhile.
I am excited to have the day off paid and right in the middle of the week too. Grateful to be able to provide even a small Christmas for my kids because after all something is better than nothing and I have something for all of them. Grateful to have the day off to spend with them. One of them is with his Dad in Oregon and the other will still be home with me when my daughter goes with her Dad.
I am grateful to have some time to reflect on the year and all the things I can be thankful for including that my car is still running and hasn't yet broken down on me.
I am planning to relax and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas day with as little stress as possible. It will make me very happy to have more relaxing going on. Hope everyone else has a Happy Holiday no matter what you celebrate.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Thursday December 19, 2013...
Awoke to sheets of ice on everything. Then the snow started. I called it a snow day. I called in all of us and didn't leave til my son needed to be to work at 12.
I need the money but it's not worth our lives. I know its winter and I should just be used to it but come on, our lives should be more important. Would it really kill the city to just shut down for a day and stay home.
We had a good time. I laughed a lot today. I shoveled so many times my arms ache. I played in the snow with my daughter and we laughed and laughed. Such memories were made. Made it all worthwhile.
Tomorrow I will need to creep the kids up to my moms because Tayson wants to go to his friends and Jazmin has her Christmas program. She doesn't want to miss because they draw to see who wins the bike tomorrow and she is so hopeful that sometime it will be her. I hope it is.
I am thankful that my day was so peaceful even though I missed the pay we are safe and alive. We have made some new memories and had a wonderfully relaxing day together. awww Winter
Awoke to sheets of ice on everything. Then the snow started. I called it a snow day. I called in all of us and didn't leave til my son needed to be to work at 12.
I need the money but it's not worth our lives. I know its winter and I should just be used to it but come on, our lives should be more important. Would it really kill the city to just shut down for a day and stay home.
We had a good time. I laughed a lot today. I shoveled so many times my arms ache. I played in the snow with my daughter and we laughed and laughed. Such memories were made. Made it all worthwhile.
Tomorrow I will need to creep the kids up to my moms because Tayson wants to go to his friends and Jazmin has her Christmas program. She doesn't want to miss because they draw to see who wins the bike tomorrow and she is so hopeful that sometime it will be her. I hope it is.
I am thankful that my day was so peaceful even though I missed the pay we are safe and alive. We have made some new memories and had a wonderfully relaxing day together. awww Winter
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Wednesday December 18, 2013....
Grateful it is almost time to sleep but not grateful for the storm that is upon us. I am not ready to make the death wish trip to work tomorrow. I hate how long it takes with every muscle tensed and knuckles white on the steering wheel, barely breathing.
I'm grateful that it is Thursday tomorrow and we are that much closer to another weekend. I am grateful that it is almost Christmas and then we can be done with this wretched holiday for one more year. I say it every year but next year I am definitely going to be ready because this year is sucking.
I'm grateful for heat and the electricity, and job I don't want to die getting to in the morning. I'm grateful that I so far have been able to feed my kids even though I can't provide much else for them. I am to change that and change that I shall.
Today I have spent the day smiling and trying to be as positive as possible at work. The day still went very slow. I have high hopes that tomorrow being a Thursday will go faster than today did.
Guess I should head off to bed to get some sleep so I can leave an hour early tomorrow to creep through the ice and snow. God knows they don't care if we make it alive. Perhaps I should move to Texas, if I lived there they would let me stay home if it snowed a skiff of snow across the road. Oh well we are not in Texas, we are in Utah. Where I should just get over the snow already and move on with a smile on my face. (that would be easier with warm sunshine on my face.)
Grateful it is almost time to sleep but not grateful for the storm that is upon us. I am not ready to make the death wish trip to work tomorrow. I hate how long it takes with every muscle tensed and knuckles white on the steering wheel, barely breathing.
I'm grateful that it is Thursday tomorrow and we are that much closer to another weekend. I am grateful that it is almost Christmas and then we can be done with this wretched holiday for one more year. I say it every year but next year I am definitely going to be ready because this year is sucking.
I'm grateful for heat and the electricity, and job I don't want to die getting to in the morning. I'm grateful that I so far have been able to feed my kids even though I can't provide much else for them. I am to change that and change that I shall.
Today I have spent the day smiling and trying to be as positive as possible at work. The day still went very slow. I have high hopes that tomorrow being a Thursday will go faster than today did.
Guess I should head off to bed to get some sleep so I can leave an hour early tomorrow to creep through the ice and snow. God knows they don't care if we make it alive. Perhaps I should move to Texas, if I lived there they would let me stay home if it snowed a skiff of snow across the road. Oh well we are not in Texas, we are in Utah. Where I should just get over the snow already and move on with a smile on my face. (that would be easier with warm sunshine on my face.)
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Tuesday December 17, 2013....
Tis the season... wish it felt like it. I am usually all into the Christmas Carols and cookie making. Shopping and wrapping. Maybe that's it, no shopping or wrapping going on. I have no money. Short of a Christmas Miracle I'm not going to have any money anytime soon. My kids will soon see a very sparse Christmas. But Grinch says its maybe not found in a store so I suppose we can make the most of it.
I am thankful we are here and mostly healthy for the holidays and that the bills are mostly paid. I am thankful for my job that gives me a paycheck no matter how small it is. I am thankful for the coworkers that make it ok to be there. I would rather work at home though. Wish I could ask Santa for that... a job working from home getting paid lots of money. ha ha Yes!
I keep feeling like there is something I should be doing but then I get on here and I don't know what it is. I wish I could figure it out because I sure need something more. I would love to write a book. I would love to sell my crafts online. Either way if it was successful I would be happy with it. I don't know what to write though.
I was wishing today that Winter was almost over. It's so cold and gray and inverted and miserable. I am eternally grateful that it hasn't snowed too bad, and that the storm we had a couple weeks ago left enough to make it winter, but I am done with it. I know. A lot of people like it to be wintry white for Christmas which I don't get. It has nothing to do with Jesus. I guess it must be the Santa part. I could live without seeing snow again. Wouldn't bother me at all.
Tis the season... wish it felt like it. I am usually all into the Christmas Carols and cookie making. Shopping and wrapping. Maybe that's it, no shopping or wrapping going on. I have no money. Short of a Christmas Miracle I'm not going to have any money anytime soon. My kids will soon see a very sparse Christmas. But Grinch says its maybe not found in a store so I suppose we can make the most of it.
I am thankful we are here and mostly healthy for the holidays and that the bills are mostly paid. I am thankful for my job that gives me a paycheck no matter how small it is. I am thankful for the coworkers that make it ok to be there. I would rather work at home though. Wish I could ask Santa for that... a job working from home getting paid lots of money. ha ha Yes!
I keep feeling like there is something I should be doing but then I get on here and I don't know what it is. I wish I could figure it out because I sure need something more. I would love to write a book. I would love to sell my crafts online. Either way if it was successful I would be happy with it. I don't know what to write though.
I was wishing today that Winter was almost over. It's so cold and gray and inverted and miserable. I am eternally grateful that it hasn't snowed too bad, and that the storm we had a couple weeks ago left enough to make it winter, but I am done with it. I know. A lot of people like it to be wintry white for Christmas which I don't get. It has nothing to do with Jesus. I guess it must be the Santa part. I could live without seeing snow again. Wouldn't bother me at all.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Sunday December 15, 2013...
It has been a weekend of laughter, happiness, and peace. A friend looked at my washer and then we went out doing some Christmas shopping. It was a fun and relaxing way to wind down a Friday. Saturday was just as relaxing, did some laundry at my moms house and then went to Zoo lights with my daughter. We loved it and had a great time. It was very cold but so worth it. I am always grateful to be able to do things with my daughter.
She got to see Santa and get pictures with him. We got hot cocoa and then we got home and played games and read our book. It was a delightful day filled with laughter from her and me.
Today I have been just as grateful to be with my kids in our last few days at the home we have known all these years. Who knows when the divorce will be done and we will be moving on to other things.
I am grateful to the mellow weather thus far and hope that we can have long periods in between each and every storm we get. I am so not wanting to break down in the middle of the winter with my kids. Not fun!
I am thankful that we are here together and healthy for the most part. I am ignoring my thyroid at the moment ha ha I am thankful that even though our Christmas is going to be small, we still have each other and a warm roof over our heads. I am thankful we have some place to lay our heads and we don't have to sleep in a shelter with a million strangers. I am thankful I can still show my kids some kind of life even though it be small.
I am thankful for the opportunities I know I will find if I just open my eyes to them. I am thankful for my family and friends, for my job and the paycheck that comes with it. I am thankful for co workers I have met and what they have done to enrich my life and make it happier. I am thankful for the time God has given me to be here learning and growing, and I am especially Thankful for him letting me be a mother. I love my kids more than my own life. They are my everything.
It has been a weekend of laughter, happiness, and peace. A friend looked at my washer and then we went out doing some Christmas shopping. It was a fun and relaxing way to wind down a Friday. Saturday was just as relaxing, did some laundry at my moms house and then went to Zoo lights with my daughter. We loved it and had a great time. It was very cold but so worth it. I am always grateful to be able to do things with my daughter.
She got to see Santa and get pictures with him. We got hot cocoa and then we got home and played games and read our book. It was a delightful day filled with laughter from her and me.
Today I have been just as grateful to be with my kids in our last few days at the home we have known all these years. Who knows when the divorce will be done and we will be moving on to other things.
I am grateful to the mellow weather thus far and hope that we can have long periods in between each and every storm we get. I am so not wanting to break down in the middle of the winter with my kids. Not fun!
I am thankful that we are here together and healthy for the most part. I am ignoring my thyroid at the moment ha ha I am thankful that even though our Christmas is going to be small, we still have each other and a warm roof over our heads. I am thankful we have some place to lay our heads and we don't have to sleep in a shelter with a million strangers. I am thankful I can still show my kids some kind of life even though it be small.
I am thankful for the opportunities I know I will find if I just open my eyes to them. I am thankful for my family and friends, for my job and the paycheck that comes with it. I am thankful for co workers I have met and what they have done to enrich my life and make it happier. I am thankful for the time God has given me to be here learning and growing, and I am especially Thankful for him letting me be a mother. I love my kids more than my own life. They are my everything.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Wednesday December 11, 2013....
Hump day, been and gone. Wasn't so bad. Extremely busy all day as usual. It was a beautiful day with some blue sky and a little sunshine. Typical smoggy winter day in Utah. No snow, which is perfect for me.
I have a friend coming to help me with my washer situation, (it broke) and so I am hoping for the best with it. I am thankful I still have a dryer and I can wash something in the sink in a pinch. Otherwise it will be off to the Laundromat or a friends house. Not the end of the world.
The holidays are upon us and I have basically been a scrooge because I don't have any money for presents, but maybe that will just make next year all that much better. I have been trying to think of things I can do with or for my kids instead of presents. Maybe that will at least make it memorable.
I am grateful for my friends and family. For their love and support in my everyday. I am grateful for all my blessings however small. I am grateful for my car getting me to work and home again, even with all it's problems. I'm grateful for my job and pay check it creates, no matter how small it be. I am grateful that I have people in my life that make me laugh.
I am grateful for my co workers, they are what get me through each and every day. I am grateful for all the things I learn there. I am grateful for the customers, without I wouldn't have a pay check but I am not grateful for the way they treat us on the phone.
My journey to become happy has come at the perfect time in my life, I think. I am old enough to know I want to work most things out on my own, and ask for help when I need it. I am not too old to still enjoy my life and new found happiness. I know what I want and am just trying to find the means to getting it. What I want is Happiness, and Peace. That's all. I'm coming for it and getting closer each and every day.
Today I asked my ex for some help looking at the washer. Hours went by and he never answered and when he did text to say he was coming over to pick up our daughter he didn't mention it. I assumed, by mistake that he wasn't wanting to help me. That's fine. So I start asking friends, find someone to come look at it and then text him back to let him know so that he doesn't have to worry about it. When he drops her off, he starts coming in to look at it. I tell him that I am having someone else look at it and ask if he got my text, he gets all upset and leaves. I text him again and tell him I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. He texts me telling me that I am mad and treating him like shit. hmmmm I tell him I am not sure what he means but that I have not been mad at him for some time and that in fact I am not mad at all and wasn't mad then, but that I find it amusing he still thinks he has a clue as to what mood I am in or what Im thinking or doing. There were a couple more texts but all in all when it was over, I thought about it and re read the texts, but the more I recognized the behavior the happier I became. It is not me that's miserable anymore. I get up , grudgingly because it's so early, but with a smile on my face, I may have moments of regress throughout the day but for the most part I fall asleep with a smile on my face as well.
After todays exchange I feel even more happy because I can actually feel the progress I have made. I still have my moments , I'm not a completely changed person yet and I think its going to take a long time to get there, but I can feel the change. I can feel there is less stress when you just let it all go. It feels good. It feels good to feel happy.
Hump day, been and gone. Wasn't so bad. Extremely busy all day as usual. It was a beautiful day with some blue sky and a little sunshine. Typical smoggy winter day in Utah. No snow, which is perfect for me.
I have a friend coming to help me with my washer situation, (it broke) and so I am hoping for the best with it. I am thankful I still have a dryer and I can wash something in the sink in a pinch. Otherwise it will be off to the Laundromat or a friends house. Not the end of the world.
The holidays are upon us and I have basically been a scrooge because I don't have any money for presents, but maybe that will just make next year all that much better. I have been trying to think of things I can do with or for my kids instead of presents. Maybe that will at least make it memorable.
I am grateful for my friends and family. For their love and support in my everyday. I am grateful for all my blessings however small. I am grateful for my car getting me to work and home again, even with all it's problems. I'm grateful for my job and pay check it creates, no matter how small it be. I am grateful that I have people in my life that make me laugh.
I am grateful for my co workers, they are what get me through each and every day. I am grateful for all the things I learn there. I am grateful for the customers, without I wouldn't have a pay check but I am not grateful for the way they treat us on the phone.
My journey to become happy has come at the perfect time in my life, I think. I am old enough to know I want to work most things out on my own, and ask for help when I need it. I am not too old to still enjoy my life and new found happiness. I know what I want and am just trying to find the means to getting it. What I want is Happiness, and Peace. That's all. I'm coming for it and getting closer each and every day.
Today I asked my ex for some help looking at the washer. Hours went by and he never answered and when he did text to say he was coming over to pick up our daughter he didn't mention it. I assumed, by mistake that he wasn't wanting to help me. That's fine. So I start asking friends, find someone to come look at it and then text him back to let him know so that he doesn't have to worry about it. When he drops her off, he starts coming in to look at it. I tell him that I am having someone else look at it and ask if he got my text, he gets all upset and leaves. I text him again and tell him I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. He texts me telling me that I am mad and treating him like shit. hmmmm I tell him I am not sure what he means but that I have not been mad at him for some time and that in fact I am not mad at all and wasn't mad then, but that I find it amusing he still thinks he has a clue as to what mood I am in or what Im thinking or doing. There were a couple more texts but all in all when it was over, I thought about it and re read the texts, but the more I recognized the behavior the happier I became. It is not me that's miserable anymore. I get up , grudgingly because it's so early, but with a smile on my face, I may have moments of regress throughout the day but for the most part I fall asleep with a smile on my face as well.
After todays exchange I feel even more happy because I can actually feel the progress I have made. I still have my moments , I'm not a completely changed person yet and I think its going to take a long time to get there, but I can feel the change. I can feel there is less stress when you just let it all go. It feels good. It feels good to feel happy.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Tuesday December 10, 2013....
My car is worse everyday, I don't know where to get money to get it fixed, and my washer broke today too. Froze, and hopefully just a pipe broke but I am broke. I will admit I hid away and had a crying fest. Then I got up and wiped away the tears, (they were not producing any cash) and decided it was much easier to just smile. That's right you heard me. I can't do anything about it so instead of stress, I'm going to smile. :)
I am thankful that even if I can't wash my clothes right now, atleast I can still dry something, and I still have heat and electricity and a roof over my head. I am thankful that the holidays will be here soon and hoping next year I can make them far merrier than this year.
I am thankful I will be going to bed with a full belly and everything else I truly need. I am thankful for my family and for their endless patience with me. I am thankful for everything I do have and everything I will have some day.
I am thankful that time heals wounds and that even when I am down I can still smile. I get closer every day to finding my true passion and putting it to use. I am driven I just don't know what I should be driven about but I need to be doing better in this life. I am thankful for life. I am thankful for Jesus and for everything he does to get me through each day. I am going to head to bed now. No clean clothes but a smile on my face.
My car is worse everyday, I don't know where to get money to get it fixed, and my washer broke today too. Froze, and hopefully just a pipe broke but I am broke. I will admit I hid away and had a crying fest. Then I got up and wiped away the tears, (they were not producing any cash) and decided it was much easier to just smile. That's right you heard me. I can't do anything about it so instead of stress, I'm going to smile. :)
I am thankful that even if I can't wash my clothes right now, atleast I can still dry something, and I still have heat and electricity and a roof over my head. I am thankful that the holidays will be here soon and hoping next year I can make them far merrier than this year.
I am thankful I will be going to bed with a full belly and everything else I truly need. I am thankful for my family and for their endless patience with me. I am thankful for everything I do have and everything I will have some day.
I am thankful that time heals wounds and that even when I am down I can still smile. I get closer every day to finding my true passion and putting it to use. I am driven I just don't know what I should be driven about but I need to be doing better in this life. I am thankful for life. I am thankful for Jesus and for everything he does to get me through each day. I am going to head to bed now. No clean clothes but a smile on my face.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Monday December 9, 2013....
Just a little note today, I am smiling and thankful the snow has stopped. It is cold still though. I am thankful my car is still running and getting me safely home.
I am thankful for all the usual things and also for the ability to have a sick day and just sleep through it. I am thankful that I am not feeling worse although being stuffy isn't any fun either. I am thankful for the laughter my daughter creates and the way she always follows me around being my buddy.
I am thankful that we can heal, and that time numbs the pain and makes everything seem less meaningful. Only the memories come with us. Only the people matter. We'll all be ok in the end. I am thankful I have the love of my family some people don't even have that.
Just a little note today, I am smiling and thankful the snow has stopped. It is cold still though. I am thankful my car is still running and getting me safely home.
I am thankful for all the usual things and also for the ability to have a sick day and just sleep through it. I am thankful that I am not feeling worse although being stuffy isn't any fun either. I am thankful for the laughter my daughter creates and the way she always follows me around being my buddy.
I am thankful that we can heal, and that time numbs the pain and makes everything seem less meaningful. Only the memories come with us. Only the people matter. We'll all be ok in the end. I am thankful I have the love of my family some people don't even have that.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Still Sunday December 8, 2013....
I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact it's December already. I still feel as though we were just hanging up the coats from last winter and here we are starting another winter. I enjoy, oddly enough, the different seasons and taking care of the yard during each one. In the Spring I'm grateful to watch the new flowers poke up, sometimes through a patch of snow.
In the Summer I am grateful to mow the lawn and smell the fresh cut grass, I am grateful to plant a garden and watch it grow vegetables to feed my family. I am grateful to plant flower beds and care for them watching them grow and thrive in color and size. I am thankful for the warm sun and the blue sky.
In the Fall I am thankful for the brilliant colors on the trees and in the mountains. I am thankful for the leaves falling as the temperatures drop and the rains begin. Falling to the ground crunchy and smelling wonderful. I love the crunch as you stomp through them and the smell of Fall and Halloween.
In the Winter I am grateful for many things that don't have to do with the weather. I don't appreciate the bitter cold, the wet icy snow, the chill winds and bitter long nights. I am grateful for the splendid beauty of it all as it glistens in the moonlight. I am grateful for it cleaning out the air and bringing the sun out briefly to warm my face.
I don't know where the year went. I don't know what I have done to make it worthwhile if anything, and I have decided in this quest to be happy I should probably be moving forward, so I also want to add a goal to the New Year of happiness. I don't know what the goal will be yet but I want to accomplish something next year.
I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact it's December already. I still feel as though we were just hanging up the coats from last winter and here we are starting another winter. I enjoy, oddly enough, the different seasons and taking care of the yard during each one. In the Spring I'm grateful to watch the new flowers poke up, sometimes through a patch of snow.
In the Summer I am grateful to mow the lawn and smell the fresh cut grass, I am grateful to plant a garden and watch it grow vegetables to feed my family. I am grateful to plant flower beds and care for them watching them grow and thrive in color and size. I am thankful for the warm sun and the blue sky.
In the Fall I am thankful for the brilliant colors on the trees and in the mountains. I am thankful for the leaves falling as the temperatures drop and the rains begin. Falling to the ground crunchy and smelling wonderful. I love the crunch as you stomp through them and the smell of Fall and Halloween.
In the Winter I am grateful for many things that don't have to do with the weather. I don't appreciate the bitter cold, the wet icy snow, the chill winds and bitter long nights. I am grateful for the splendid beauty of it all as it glistens in the moonlight. I am grateful for it cleaning out the air and bringing the sun out briefly to warm my face.
I don't know where the year went. I don't know what I have done to make it worthwhile if anything, and I have decided in this quest to be happy I should probably be moving forward, so I also want to add a goal to the New Year of happiness. I don't know what the goal will be yet but I want to accomplish something next year.
Sunday December 8, 2013....
Well it is morning and the snow has not stopped. I know everyone just thinks eh, it's Utah isn't it always snowing? The answer is NO it is not always snowing and YES it's as dangerous here as it is every where else although in all other states everyone makes a big deal of it when there is a few inches on the ground, yet we can have 3 feet and it's business as usual. I am thankful for the new day but not for the snow, cold and ice it has brought with it. I want to ask Santa for Summer back.
My graves disease is acting up today and I am trying to ignore it as I am not wanting to spend my day huddled up in the bathroom. I am thankful we have medicine that slightly helps the symptoms so I am not always sick. I am thankful that they found out what was wrong with me and fixed it somewhat so that atleast, I am not going to die from it. Just be eternally sick.
I am thankful I can sit at the window and drink my coffee and watch the mayhem outside without actually having to be out in it. I really dislike winter, it makes me so sad.
I am thankful we have food to eat for a few days and that today there is no work. I am thankful I have a job to go to tomorrow and hope that it isn't as busy as it has been. I am thankful I get to see my daughter tonight and I am thankful she is with me most of the time. I am thankful she is older and not a toddler anymore because she stands a better chance of surviving her Dad.
I am thankful that each day gives me more relief from the pain he caused me and that I have my new goals of becoming more and more happy. I am thankful I can go through the day smiling and looking forward to what tomorrow will bring rather than sitting around crying and having a pity fest. I am thankful I have laughter in my life and that no matter what others put out into the world my God knows the truth of my heart.
Well it is morning and the snow has not stopped. I know everyone just thinks eh, it's Utah isn't it always snowing? The answer is NO it is not always snowing and YES it's as dangerous here as it is every where else although in all other states everyone makes a big deal of it when there is a few inches on the ground, yet we can have 3 feet and it's business as usual. I am thankful for the new day but not for the snow, cold and ice it has brought with it. I want to ask Santa for Summer back.
My graves disease is acting up today and I am trying to ignore it as I am not wanting to spend my day huddled up in the bathroom. I am thankful we have medicine that slightly helps the symptoms so I am not always sick. I am thankful that they found out what was wrong with me and fixed it somewhat so that atleast, I am not going to die from it. Just be eternally sick.
I am thankful I can sit at the window and drink my coffee and watch the mayhem outside without actually having to be out in it. I really dislike winter, it makes me so sad.
I am thankful we have food to eat for a few days and that today there is no work. I am thankful I have a job to go to tomorrow and hope that it isn't as busy as it has been. I am thankful I get to see my daughter tonight and I am thankful she is with me most of the time. I am thankful she is older and not a toddler anymore because she stands a better chance of surviving her Dad.
I am thankful that each day gives me more relief from the pain he caused me and that I have my new goals of becoming more and more happy. I am thankful I can go through the day smiling and looking forward to what tomorrow will bring rather than sitting around crying and having a pity fest. I am thankful I have laughter in my life and that no matter what others put out into the world my God knows the truth of my heart.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Saturday December 7th, 2013...
Have done nothing but laundry today. Made taco soup which I am always grateful for. It's snowing now. Soft and white from the endless gray sky. It doesn't seem to be coming down hard, just floating listlessly from the sky. The wind is picking up though which sends it in intervals of spinning swirls. It looks cold and I don't want to go out in it again to get my son, but will be venturing out in a couple hours.
Still have no idea what to do about Christmas. No idea how to afford presents even though my kids so deserve to have a good Christmas. I am grateful we have a place to live that is warm and dry. I am grateful to have a job to pay the bills. I wish I could find what I am good at, or passionate about and make money from it. I love to write and never know what to write about.
I am grateful for all my family and friends and my children that are an endless joy. I am grateful I am smiling more and less stressed than I have been. It's a lot easier to put it in Gods hands and let go. Saves all kinds of time for appreciating the things around you.
Christmas will work itself out, it always does. Tomorrow will come, I hope it's less snowy, and we will have a new chance to make the right choices that will lead to a happy future.
Have done nothing but laundry today. Made taco soup which I am always grateful for. It's snowing now. Soft and white from the endless gray sky. It doesn't seem to be coming down hard, just floating listlessly from the sky. The wind is picking up though which sends it in intervals of spinning swirls. It looks cold and I don't want to go out in it again to get my son, but will be venturing out in a couple hours.
Still have no idea what to do about Christmas. No idea how to afford presents even though my kids so deserve to have a good Christmas. I am grateful we have a place to live that is warm and dry. I am grateful to have a job to pay the bills. I wish I could find what I am good at, or passionate about and make money from it. I love to write and never know what to write about.
I am grateful for all my family and friends and my children that are an endless joy. I am grateful I am smiling more and less stressed than I have been. It's a lot easier to put it in Gods hands and let go. Saves all kinds of time for appreciating the things around you.
Christmas will work itself out, it always does. Tomorrow will come, I hope it's less snowy, and we will have a new chance to make the right choices that will lead to a happy future.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Thursday December 5, 2013...
I am thankful today for the happy effects of prayer. I am thankful for making it to and from my destinations, and I am thankful that I had food to feed my kids.
I am thankful that I have a good job and a paycheck and even though the bills keep mounting I am thankful to be able to live each day in this life. I am starting to see an end to all the pain and I am greatly relieved.
I am thankful today for the happy effects of prayer. I am thankful for making it to and from my destinations, and I am thankful that I had food to feed my kids.
I am thankful that I have a good job and a paycheck and even though the bills keep mounting I am thankful to be able to live each day in this life. I am starting to see an end to all the pain and I am greatly relieved.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Wednesday December 4, 2013....
Well today felt like it ran as long as yesterday dragged on. Why can't every day go as fast as Monday went. Oh well, we are trudging through it, one day at a time. I am thankful for heat. It is 0 degrees right now. Nice right. I am thankful my car is still running and I am grateful for my job. I am thankful that I don't have to sleep out in this cold.
I am always thankful for my kids and family. I don't know what I would do without them. I am thankful it stopped snowing and even though I know there will be another storm and another .... ugh.... I will be thankful when each and everyone ends. Praying for an early spring.
I have tried to start my day with a prayer, don't know if it's working but some days I think, I don't have to worry about a thing, God's got this. I tell ya it's really a load off for a while. I need to work a little harder on my road rage, especially with the weather being bad. I am not perfect I know it, God knows it, yet he loves me anyway. I'm so blessed.
Well today felt like it ran as long as yesterday dragged on. Why can't every day go as fast as Monday went. Oh well, we are trudging through it, one day at a time. I am thankful for heat. It is 0 degrees right now. Nice right. I am thankful my car is still running and I am grateful for my job. I am thankful that I don't have to sleep out in this cold.
I am always thankful for my kids and family. I don't know what I would do without them. I am thankful it stopped snowing and even though I know there will be another storm and another .... ugh.... I will be thankful when each and everyone ends. Praying for an early spring.
I have tried to start my day with a prayer, don't know if it's working but some days I think, I don't have to worry about a thing, God's got this. I tell ya it's really a load off for a while. I need to work a little harder on my road rage, especially with the weather being bad. I am not perfect I know it, God knows it, yet he loves me anyway. I'm so blessed.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Tuesday December 3, 2013....
Today I am not thankful for the storm, but I am thankful 100 times over that I made it through the day and got home safe and sound with my kids and me and my car all in one piece. I am thankful that I was able to pay the gas bill because it is cold, and I am thankful that I have a warm bed to sleep in.
I was not very polite in traffic today, as far as calling people idiots, all deserved of course, but still I should be taking that deep breath instead. I just don't understand why it is that some people think 5 miles is ok while others think 50 is sufficient. I think 35 was ok but was going 40 at some points during the day. My commute home was a joke and I got home way to late. I am tired, cold and cranky and I hope that it doesn't continue through the night.
I am thankful we are safe and fed, I am thankful we are home and have a few more hours before we have to risk our lives again. I am thankful for all the little things we take for granted, the laughter of our children, the sound of a friends voice on a ruff day, the touch of a friends hand or a hug. I am thankful for all I have seen so far, and all I can still have ahead. I am thankful for the opportunities we all have that I just can't seem to find. I am thankful for being a parent, and having my children grow up by my side. I love them so and find their love to be the most wonderful thing in the world.
I am thankful for my life with all it's trials. I am thankful for who I am even if I don't really know who that is. I put my trust in God and will let him decide what happens next. Always trying to fight it isn't getting me anywhere.
Today I am not thankful for the storm, but I am thankful 100 times over that I made it through the day and got home safe and sound with my kids and me and my car all in one piece. I am thankful that I was able to pay the gas bill because it is cold, and I am thankful that I have a warm bed to sleep in.
I was not very polite in traffic today, as far as calling people idiots, all deserved of course, but still I should be taking that deep breath instead. I just don't understand why it is that some people think 5 miles is ok while others think 50 is sufficient. I think 35 was ok but was going 40 at some points during the day. My commute home was a joke and I got home way to late. I am tired, cold and cranky and I hope that it doesn't continue through the night.
I am thankful we are safe and fed, I am thankful we are home and have a few more hours before we have to risk our lives again. I am thankful for all the little things we take for granted, the laughter of our children, the sound of a friends voice on a ruff day, the touch of a friends hand or a hug. I am thankful for all I have seen so far, and all I can still have ahead. I am thankful for the opportunities we all have that I just can't seem to find. I am thankful for being a parent, and having my children grow up by my side. I love them so and find their love to be the most wonderful thing in the world.
I am thankful for my life with all it's trials. I am thankful for who I am even if I don't really know who that is. I put my trust in God and will let him decide what happens next. Always trying to fight it isn't getting me anywhere.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Sunday December 1, 2013.....
Last day of the wonderful long weekend. I didn't much of anything this weekend, playing with my kids, spending time with family, cooking, got bills paid. My car just keeps getting more issues but is still running, we'll hope that it keeps running for a few more months atleast. I don't know what else to do with it.
I bought a couple more presents, nothing big just something little for Kaleb and a present for my son. Wish I could figure out a way to earn a little bit more for Christmas presents, and to figure out my car. Oh well deep breath and keep plugging along.
Today I slept in but woke with a smile. The sky was blue and the sun was out most of the morning. Didn't do much of anything except laundry and dishes.
I made some Christmas cards and got those ready to mail. I did some grocery shopping although I really have no money for groceries. I think we will be ok until midweek when I will start getting nervous about groceries all over again. I try not to stress anymore, it drains my happiness and makes me feel bad, but sometimes it all just presses down on you.
Seems like everyday is a new problem, a new trial, or test. I think so far I am managing them all ok. I like to think that I am a pretty strong person, and with god by my side I think I should be able to conquer about anything. I am just praying that I will find my path in life and that I will find the love of my life.
I am thankful for my kids and the joy they bring me, I am thankful we were able to have a Happy Holiday with enough food to feed everyone. I am thankful for my job and the pay check it provides. I am thankful for being born in the place I was, so that I could know what it was like to be poor from the start. I am thankful we had enough on my check to pay the bills and get some more food. I am thankful to have a full tank of gas in my car. I am thankful I was able to share in several Family events this weekend, I am thankful that my family and friends still love me and appreciate me even while I am broken. I am thankful for heat and power, water and internet. I am thankful I have all my friends and co workers helping me out with staying positive. I am thankful for my hearing, speech, sight, touch, and taste.
I am thankful for the million things God does for me each day that I don't even know about. I am thankful for the people who I knew and loved before they passed on to another life. I am thankful for the ability to read and write, and I am thankful for the passion to do both. I am thankful for the ability to do what I like to do in my free time and to reach for my goals and hopes and dreams at my leisure.
I am thankful that I have chosen to find peace and happiness instead of focusing on the pain and betrayal. I am thankful that slowly the peace is coming to heal my wounds and help make me strong for the road ahead.
Last day of the wonderful long weekend. I didn't much of anything this weekend, playing with my kids, spending time with family, cooking, got bills paid. My car just keeps getting more issues but is still running, we'll hope that it keeps running for a few more months atleast. I don't know what else to do with it.
I bought a couple more presents, nothing big just something little for Kaleb and a present for my son. Wish I could figure out a way to earn a little bit more for Christmas presents, and to figure out my car. Oh well deep breath and keep plugging along.
Today I slept in but woke with a smile. The sky was blue and the sun was out most of the morning. Didn't do much of anything except laundry and dishes.
I made some Christmas cards and got those ready to mail. I did some grocery shopping although I really have no money for groceries. I think we will be ok until midweek when I will start getting nervous about groceries all over again. I try not to stress anymore, it drains my happiness and makes me feel bad, but sometimes it all just presses down on you.
Seems like everyday is a new problem, a new trial, or test. I think so far I am managing them all ok. I like to think that I am a pretty strong person, and with god by my side I think I should be able to conquer about anything. I am just praying that I will find my path in life and that I will find the love of my life.
I am thankful for my kids and the joy they bring me, I am thankful we were able to have a Happy Holiday with enough food to feed everyone. I am thankful for my job and the pay check it provides. I am thankful for being born in the place I was, so that I could know what it was like to be poor from the start. I am thankful we had enough on my check to pay the bills and get some more food. I am thankful to have a full tank of gas in my car. I am thankful I was able to share in several Family events this weekend, I am thankful that my family and friends still love me and appreciate me even while I am broken. I am thankful for heat and power, water and internet. I am thankful I have all my friends and co workers helping me out with staying positive. I am thankful for my hearing, speech, sight, touch, and taste.
I am thankful for the million things God does for me each day that I don't even know about. I am thankful for the people who I knew and loved before they passed on to another life. I am thankful for the ability to read and write, and I am thankful for the passion to do both. I am thankful for the ability to do what I like to do in my free time and to reach for my goals and hopes and dreams at my leisure.
I am thankful that I have chosen to find peace and happiness instead of focusing on the pain and betrayal. I am thankful that slowly the peace is coming to heal my wounds and help make me strong for the road ahead.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Friday November 29, 2013....
Paying bills today, always cheers a person right up. I also went out today and bought my daughter a coat and boots. Not even Christmas stuff, but she needs them when it snows this week. Everything is so expensive that it makes me sad I spent so much and it wasn't even Christmas. Oh well.... I still ended my day smiling.
My girl and I got our tree up, my son said he wanted to have a different tree than everyone else, and put all the longest branches in the middle so he looks like a chunky tree. At first I was kindof not with the program, but then thought, 'what difference does it make? He gets to have an opinion about the tree, we still have a beautiful tree. It still twinkles brightly and all the ornaments go on still. In the end we left it how he had it.
I am still so thankful for everything I have that is important. I don't have a 5 bedroom mansion, but I have my kids, I don't have a new sports car, but I still make it to work, I don't have a million dollars but I do have my utilities paid and some food in the fridge. It's all in how you look at things. I may be homeless soon, but I will still have my inner peace. I may not have money for vacations, but I have my health. I may not have enough to save for the future, but I have a future to watch unfold.
I am thankful for the seasons, although there is one I could do without. I am thankful for holidays, that give me extra time off. I am thankful for having the flexibility to see the things my kids do in school, and I am thankful that my kids go to good schools.
I am thankful that I had the opportunity to live in a wonderful neighborhood growing up, and that my kids get the same opportunity. I am thankful my kids love me and are good kids that mind what they are told, I don't have to worry about them when I am not around. I am thankful they are helpful and that they humor me with traditions teenagers don't really care about.
I am thankful for my siblings, even though they are all boys.. I am thankful for the childhood I lived so that I know how to handle the present moment and keep going with my head held high and a smile on my face. The important thing is that I have a smile and I know more and more each day that no matter what happens I am becoming a new me. I am becoming a happier and more peaceful me.
I'm still working on the deep breath, and smile...... It's a work in progress....
Paying bills today, always cheers a person right up. I also went out today and bought my daughter a coat and boots. Not even Christmas stuff, but she needs them when it snows this week. Everything is so expensive that it makes me sad I spent so much and it wasn't even Christmas. Oh well.... I still ended my day smiling.
My girl and I got our tree up, my son said he wanted to have a different tree than everyone else, and put all the longest branches in the middle so he looks like a chunky tree. At first I was kindof not with the program, but then thought, 'what difference does it make? He gets to have an opinion about the tree, we still have a beautiful tree. It still twinkles brightly and all the ornaments go on still. In the end we left it how he had it.
I am still so thankful for everything I have that is important. I don't have a 5 bedroom mansion, but I have my kids, I don't have a new sports car, but I still make it to work, I don't have a million dollars but I do have my utilities paid and some food in the fridge. It's all in how you look at things. I may be homeless soon, but I will still have my inner peace. I may not have money for vacations, but I have my health. I may not have enough to save for the future, but I have a future to watch unfold.
I am thankful for the seasons, although there is one I could do without. I am thankful for holidays, that give me extra time off. I am thankful for having the flexibility to see the things my kids do in school, and I am thankful that my kids go to good schools.
I am thankful that I had the opportunity to live in a wonderful neighborhood growing up, and that my kids get the same opportunity. I am thankful my kids love me and are good kids that mind what they are told, I don't have to worry about them when I am not around. I am thankful they are helpful and that they humor me with traditions teenagers don't really care about.
I am thankful for my siblings, even though they are all boys.. I am thankful for the childhood I lived so that I know how to handle the present moment and keep going with my head held high and a smile on my face. The important thing is that I have a smile and I know more and more each day that no matter what happens I am becoming a new me. I am becoming a happier and more peaceful me.
I'm still working on the deep breath, and smile...... It's a work in progress....
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thursday November 28, 2013.....
No Thanksgiving miracles but I am still Thankful for the food that I'm pretty sure is busting to pop out. I feel so stuffed I took the saying gobble til ya wobble a little too seriously.
I am thankful for my family coming to my house for thanksgiving, I am thankful for my kids being home with me making wonderful memories, I am thankful there is no ice on the streets, I am thankful I still have several days off from work. I am thankful my belly is so full of wonderful food, I am thankful my kids got enough wonderful food to fill them up as well.
I am thankful for having time to play games with my daughter and forever thankful for the joy my kids give me. I am thankful for my job and paycheck, for my car, and for having such a great life. I am thankful for all my friends and coworkers that help me through each day. I am thankful for having a heated dry place to sleep and spend our time together.
I am thankful for indoor plumbing and hot showers, I am thankful for the wonderful scents of Thanksgiving dinner cooking in my little shabby kitchen. Tasting just as wonderful as if it was cooked in a mansion. I am thankful that I can smile when things are ruff, and thankful I haven't had a heart attack from all the food I just stuffed down.
I am thankful I have a camera to capture the wonderful memories even if it isn't the one I really want. I am thankful that I have so many things to be thankful for and that each day I think of more.
I am thankful for the weather so far, I am thankful we have had it so mellow thus far. I am thankful my son has a job and that my kids can go to school. I am thankful they go to schools that are somewhat safe and that they have the opportunity to learn and grow. I am thankful I know how to read, so I can escape into a new and different world and leave my problems behind.
The new year is coming, and as always I will wish on a better year to come. I don't know if this will be that year, but I know I am deserving some sunshine in my life real soon...
No Thanksgiving miracles but I am still Thankful for the food that I'm pretty sure is busting to pop out. I feel so stuffed I took the saying gobble til ya wobble a little too seriously.
I am thankful for my family coming to my house for thanksgiving, I am thankful for my kids being home with me making wonderful memories, I am thankful there is no ice on the streets, I am thankful I still have several days off from work. I am thankful my belly is so full of wonderful food, I am thankful my kids got enough wonderful food to fill them up as well.
I am thankful for having time to play games with my daughter and forever thankful for the joy my kids give me. I am thankful for my job and paycheck, for my car, and for having such a great life. I am thankful for all my friends and coworkers that help me through each day. I am thankful for having a heated dry place to sleep and spend our time together.
I am thankful for indoor plumbing and hot showers, I am thankful for the wonderful scents of Thanksgiving dinner cooking in my little shabby kitchen. Tasting just as wonderful as if it was cooked in a mansion. I am thankful that I can smile when things are ruff, and thankful I haven't had a heart attack from all the food I just stuffed down.
I am thankful I have a camera to capture the wonderful memories even if it isn't the one I really want. I am thankful that I have so many things to be thankful for and that each day I think of more.
I am thankful for the weather so far, I am thankful we have had it so mellow thus far. I am thankful my son has a job and that my kids can go to school. I am thankful they go to schools that are somewhat safe and that they have the opportunity to learn and grow. I am thankful I know how to read, so I can escape into a new and different world and leave my problems behind.
The new year is coming, and as always I will wish on a better year to come. I don't know if this will be that year, but I know I am deserving some sunshine in my life real soon...
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday November 27, 2013.....
So thankful it is a holiday weekend. Also thankful I have a four day weekend ahead of me. During the month of November it easy to think of things that you are thankful for and I have been posting that on social networking sites as well as here, but I find that the list of things I'm thankful for, far out weigh the list of things that are wrong in my life. The wrong things may be big right now, but may not necessarily be big tomorrow.
Looking at things a little better has made me far less stressed than I used to be and helped my mind not be so muddled with things that may or may not happen. I realize you can't bury your head and just think all is well, but at the same time if I just stay positive and keep thinking of the things that are good and right, it's easier to smile and look forward to tomorrow.
I am thankful I get my kids for Thanksgiving dinner and I'm thankful I get to host the dinner at my house with my mom and brother coming to visit, I don't get many visitors so that is nice. I am thankful we have food to eat and a dry warm place to be together. I am thankful for my family and friends, and for everyone that puts up with me and my many moods. I am thankful for social networking sites that help me stay close to all my friends and family and I'm thankful for my computer that allows me to live so much easier.
I am thankful for the long fall and the dry roads, I am thankful for my job and my paychecks. I am thankful for my car even though it's having a time right now, I am thankful for my nieces and nephews and the happiness they bring me as well. I am thankful for so much that none if it comes to me in order, like I'm thankful for my sight, hearing, and speech, and also for my health , as good as it is right now. I am thankful for everything I have seen and done in my life, and I am thankful that I can pray whenever I feel the need.
I am thankful for long hot summers, blue skies and sunshine. I am thankful for flowers and summer and spring and fall even though they are not long enough. I am thankful for living in such a beautiful state and being able to enjoy it's beauty, hiking , camping and just driving through. I am thankful for being born in the freedom of the United States and appreciate every soldier who has fought to keep it so.
I can go on, and on.. but I really need to get something done around this house, to host a Thanksgiving dinner for my family. Be Thankful and safe to you all... Happy Thanksgiving eve.....
So thankful it is a holiday weekend. Also thankful I have a four day weekend ahead of me. During the month of November it easy to think of things that you are thankful for and I have been posting that on social networking sites as well as here, but I find that the list of things I'm thankful for, far out weigh the list of things that are wrong in my life. The wrong things may be big right now, but may not necessarily be big tomorrow.
Looking at things a little better has made me far less stressed than I used to be and helped my mind not be so muddled with things that may or may not happen. I realize you can't bury your head and just think all is well, but at the same time if I just stay positive and keep thinking of the things that are good and right, it's easier to smile and look forward to tomorrow.
I am thankful I get my kids for Thanksgiving dinner and I'm thankful I get to host the dinner at my house with my mom and brother coming to visit, I don't get many visitors so that is nice. I am thankful we have food to eat and a dry warm place to be together. I am thankful for my family and friends, and for everyone that puts up with me and my many moods. I am thankful for social networking sites that help me stay close to all my friends and family and I'm thankful for my computer that allows me to live so much easier.
I am thankful for the long fall and the dry roads, I am thankful for my job and my paychecks. I am thankful for my car even though it's having a time right now, I am thankful for my nieces and nephews and the happiness they bring me as well. I am thankful for so much that none if it comes to me in order, like I'm thankful for my sight, hearing, and speech, and also for my health , as good as it is right now. I am thankful for everything I have seen and done in my life, and I am thankful that I can pray whenever I feel the need.
I am thankful for long hot summers, blue skies and sunshine. I am thankful for flowers and summer and spring and fall even though they are not long enough. I am thankful for living in such a beautiful state and being able to enjoy it's beauty, hiking , camping and just driving through. I am thankful for being born in the freedom of the United States and appreciate every soldier who has fought to keep it so.
I can go on, and on.. but I really need to get something done around this house, to host a Thanksgiving dinner for my family. Be Thankful and safe to you all... Happy Thanksgiving eve.....
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Tuesday November 26, 2013....
I am thankful my car got me to and from work. I'm thankful I have a job to go to and a pay check associated. I am thankful for the wonderful flavors of garlic and sea salt with a little olive oil, I am thankful for a full stomach and knowing that my kids have eaten. I am thankful I could put gas in my car and I pray it keeps running a while longer.
I am thankful for my childrens laughter and for the laughter they give me with all their pranks and brilliant ideas. I love them so. I'm thankful for the holidays to bring us together and remind us even more how thankful we should be.
I am thankful for having clothes to wear and shoes that don't have holes, even though I wear the holy ones more :) I am thankful for the weather and would rather have the rain and cold winds than anything more. I am thankful for all my blessings , even the ones I don't know I have. I try and find more in each day to be thankful for.
I am also thankful I have brothers to help me out and put up with me even when they don't want to. I am thankful for the process of taking a deep breath, it's gotten me through a couple situations today.
I am thankful for having the opportunity to be a home owner, no matter the shack that it really is. It's dry atleast and doesn't keep the heat out much but it's dry. I hope I can have the same outlook when we are moved out.
I am thankful for my job but I am still hopeful that I can find something that pays more. I really deserve to have my own place. My kids deserve their own rooms. We are decent people and we deserve decent things. I am thankful for sleep as well and I can hear my soft squishy bed, and my fluffy pillows calling my name... so for now.. be thankful.
I am thankful my car got me to and from work. I'm thankful I have a job to go to and a pay check associated. I am thankful for the wonderful flavors of garlic and sea salt with a little olive oil, I am thankful for a full stomach and knowing that my kids have eaten. I am thankful I could put gas in my car and I pray it keeps running a while longer.
I am thankful for my childrens laughter and for the laughter they give me with all their pranks and brilliant ideas. I love them so. I'm thankful for the holidays to bring us together and remind us even more how thankful we should be.
I am thankful for having clothes to wear and shoes that don't have holes, even though I wear the holy ones more :) I am thankful for the weather and would rather have the rain and cold winds than anything more. I am thankful for all my blessings , even the ones I don't know I have. I try and find more in each day to be thankful for.
I am also thankful I have brothers to help me out and put up with me even when they don't want to. I am thankful for the process of taking a deep breath, it's gotten me through a couple situations today.
I am thankful for having the opportunity to be a home owner, no matter the shack that it really is. It's dry atleast and doesn't keep the heat out much but it's dry. I hope I can have the same outlook when we are moved out.
I am thankful for my job but I am still hopeful that I can find something that pays more. I really deserve to have my own place. My kids deserve their own rooms. We are decent people and we deserve decent things. I am thankful for sleep as well and I can hear my soft squishy bed, and my fluffy pillows calling my name... so for now.. be thankful.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Monday November 25, 2013...
Hello and I'm sorry I have not written my daily progress for the last couple days, I was getting online a couple days ago and received the blue screen of death so needless to say I had to get some issues fixed.
Today was definitely Monday, but never fear, I still left with a smile on my face, the sky was blue, the sun was out, or rather on it's way down nightfall. Still smiling though.
It is Thanksgiving week and I am soooo excited for the long weekend. I was expecting to have to work but at the last minute got it off. I'm pretty excited. I don't know what I am doing for money for Christmas but hopefully something great will come up.
I am thankful my car is still running even though my transmission is going out. I am thankful I have a job to go to each day and a pay check that comes with it. I am thankful for my family, friends, co workers, and kids. I am thankful I have a dry place to lay my head and food to feed my kids. I am grateful I had gas to get to work.
I am thankful people still use checks , even though I get out of patience for anyone writing a check in front of me at a convenience store. I am thankful for Holidays to bring family together to make memories. I am thankful I can enjoy the little things, and I think of more each day. I am thankful for the birds and for the butterflies. I am thankful for hot coffee in the cold, and warm blankets and fireplaces. I am thankful for candle light
and quiet nights at home. I am thankful for so many things I may not ever mention.
Each day there is more to be thankful for and each day I find it easier to smile. Easier to let things go, and easier to pray and just leave it in god's hands, then deal with what I'm given later.
Hello and I'm sorry I have not written my daily progress for the last couple days, I was getting online a couple days ago and received the blue screen of death so needless to say I had to get some issues fixed.
Today was definitely Monday, but never fear, I still left with a smile on my face, the sky was blue, the sun was out, or rather on it's way down nightfall. Still smiling though.
It is Thanksgiving week and I am soooo excited for the long weekend. I was expecting to have to work but at the last minute got it off. I'm pretty excited. I don't know what I am doing for money for Christmas but hopefully something great will come up.
I am thankful my car is still running even though my transmission is going out. I am thankful I have a job to go to each day and a pay check that comes with it. I am thankful for my family, friends, co workers, and kids. I am thankful I have a dry place to lay my head and food to feed my kids. I am grateful I had gas to get to work.
I am thankful people still use checks , even though I get out of patience for anyone writing a check in front of me at a convenience store. I am thankful for Holidays to bring family together to make memories. I am thankful I can enjoy the little things, and I think of more each day. I am thankful for the birds and for the butterflies. I am thankful for hot coffee in the cold, and warm blankets and fireplaces. I am thankful for candle light
and quiet nights at home. I am thankful for so many things I may not ever mention.
Each day there is more to be thankful for and each day I find it easier to smile. Easier to let things go, and easier to pray and just leave it in god's hands, then deal with what I'm given later.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Thursday November 21, 2013...
Thankful for having a day off in the middle of the week. Wish it hadn't been such winter weather but it is that time of year I supposed. Today was a suffocating day though, with dark clouds pressing down upon me, crushing my lungs. I made it through though, and although I didn't accomplish much , I did accomplish a few things and that is alright.
I am getting Christmas fever even though I have no money to get Christmas with. I really wish I could figure out a way to make money on the side. I know there has to be something, someway. I'll keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and I 'm sure something will come to me.
We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year, I hope it is ok with everyone but I think that it would mean a lot to the kids and especially Jazmin to have it here with it being our last year in this house.
I am thankful we have been able to experience having our own place, with our own yard and space for our pets. The house has always been leaving a lot to desire in the space department in general but I am grateful to be out of the wind, rain, snow and cold. I am thankful to have a job to be able to pay the heat bill and I am thankful to have a steady paycheck no matter how small it is. Some people don't have anything at all.
I am thankful for the experiences I have had, even if they haven't all been good, I am learning and growing and becoming stronger than I ever thought I could be. I will surpass this phase and move toward a brighter tomorrow. I will do it with a smile on my face and a grateful heart and soul. The stresses they will come and go, but I will remain looking forward and every day trying to make myself a better person, to find who I want to be.
Thankful for having a day off in the middle of the week. Wish it hadn't been such winter weather but it is that time of year I supposed. Today was a suffocating day though, with dark clouds pressing down upon me, crushing my lungs. I made it through though, and although I didn't accomplish much , I did accomplish a few things and that is alright.
I am getting Christmas fever even though I have no money to get Christmas with. I really wish I could figure out a way to make money on the side. I know there has to be something, someway. I'll keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and I 'm sure something will come to me.
We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year, I hope it is ok with everyone but I think that it would mean a lot to the kids and especially Jazmin to have it here with it being our last year in this house.
I am thankful we have been able to experience having our own place, with our own yard and space for our pets. The house has always been leaving a lot to desire in the space department in general but I am grateful to be out of the wind, rain, snow and cold. I am thankful to have a job to be able to pay the heat bill and I am thankful to have a steady paycheck no matter how small it is. Some people don't have anything at all.
I am thankful for the experiences I have had, even if they haven't all been good, I am learning and growing and becoming stronger than I ever thought I could be. I will surpass this phase and move toward a brighter tomorrow. I will do it with a smile on my face and a grateful heart and soul. The stresses they will come and go, but I will remain looking forward and every day trying to make myself a better person, to find who I want to be.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Wednesday November 20, 2013...
Today there have been a couple challenges in traffic and dealing with the masses, (notice I didn't say idiots) I actually did some deep breathing and slowed down and let things happen as they needed to. It was remarkable not getting myself all worked up.
I am grateful that it's rain and so far, not snow. I'm grateful I haven't had to drive in the dangerous stuff thus far in the season. I am hopeful that it continues around us and not over us. Not that it isn't a beautiful sight to see but it's just so dangerous to drive on.
I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and gas to get to the job that I am also thankful for. I am thankful when I get a paycheck even though it all goes to bills, atleast I have the check to pay them. I am thankful for my co-workers who care about my struggles and make a point of finding out how I am and what's going on with me.
I am thankful as always for my family and friends, for the support that they all show and the endless hours of venting they endure. I am thankful for my kids and the laughter and love they bring me. I am thankful God let me be their mom.
I am thankful that I am on this journey to happiness and find it working more everyday. Although there are always set backs, things that happen that still get under my skin and push the stress buttons up to high, I still feel like there is more and more peace settling itself inside my soul.
Each day that passes I find myself thinking more about my future and what I can do to improve it, and less and less about the past, it's pain, and the things I cannot change. I need to leave the past behind where it belongs and move forward into a new future filled with happiness, and peace.
Today there have been a couple challenges in traffic and dealing with the masses, (notice I didn't say idiots) I actually did some deep breathing and slowed down and let things happen as they needed to. It was remarkable not getting myself all worked up.
I am grateful that it's rain and so far, not snow. I'm grateful I haven't had to drive in the dangerous stuff thus far in the season. I am hopeful that it continues around us and not over us. Not that it isn't a beautiful sight to see but it's just so dangerous to drive on.
I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and gas to get to the job that I am also thankful for. I am thankful when I get a paycheck even though it all goes to bills, atleast I have the check to pay them. I am thankful for my co-workers who care about my struggles and make a point of finding out how I am and what's going on with me.
I am thankful as always for my family and friends, for the support that they all show and the endless hours of venting they endure. I am thankful for my kids and the laughter and love they bring me. I am thankful God let me be their mom.
I am thankful that I am on this journey to happiness and find it working more everyday. Although there are always set backs, things that happen that still get under my skin and push the stress buttons up to high, I still feel like there is more and more peace settling itself inside my soul.
Each day that passes I find myself thinking more about my future and what I can do to improve it, and less and less about the past, it's pain, and the things I cannot change. I need to leave the past behind where it belongs and move forward into a new future filled with happiness, and peace.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Tuesday November 19, 2013...
I am thankful more and more each day but think you will all tire of the same old things. I am of course thankful for my children, always first and foremost. I am thankful I have a job to get up for and an alarm to wake me up and get me going.
I am thankful my work gives us Einstein Bros. Bagels when we earn a reward, and they also supply lots of yummy schmear. We ate some today and get more in the next few weeks for winning the traveling trophy. A silly reward really but one that earns food, and well atleast they notice the little things we do, that's got to make you feel good too.
I am thankful for my car that takes us to and fro and I am thankful that I had money to fill the tank. I am thankful that when I come home after a bad day at work there waits my family, telling me hello, asking about my day and genuinely caring how it all went down.
I am thankful for my daughter, who every day teaches me that someone else might have it worse and at least we are not as bad off as some people. We have each other and there is always a bright side in her mind. She makes me laugh and makes me feel loved. She thanks me for the things I do for her and most kids don't . I am thankful for my boys who teach me patience and make me laugh.
I am thankful for a warm dry bed to lay my head at night and although I don't want what's coming it's nice to have a reason to get up for another day. I am thankful for the job and the pay check it provides. I'm thankful that I can atleast make something to support my kids and give them the necessities of life.
Off to lay down and get some rest, hope that when the sun rises again it won't be white and icy. But if it is I will pray for a safe journey and be thankful tomorrow when I am home safe again.
I am thankful more and more each day but think you will all tire of the same old things. I am of course thankful for my children, always first and foremost. I am thankful I have a job to get up for and an alarm to wake me up and get me going.
I am thankful my work gives us Einstein Bros. Bagels when we earn a reward, and they also supply lots of yummy schmear. We ate some today and get more in the next few weeks for winning the traveling trophy. A silly reward really but one that earns food, and well atleast they notice the little things we do, that's got to make you feel good too.
I am thankful for my car that takes us to and fro and I am thankful that I had money to fill the tank. I am thankful that when I come home after a bad day at work there waits my family, telling me hello, asking about my day and genuinely caring how it all went down.
I am thankful for my daughter, who every day teaches me that someone else might have it worse and at least we are not as bad off as some people. We have each other and there is always a bright side in her mind. She makes me laugh and makes me feel loved. She thanks me for the things I do for her and most kids don't . I am thankful for my boys who teach me patience and make me laugh.
I am thankful for a warm dry bed to lay my head at night and although I don't want what's coming it's nice to have a reason to get up for another day. I am thankful for the job and the pay check it provides. I'm thankful that I can atleast make something to support my kids and give them the necessities of life.
Off to lay down and get some rest, hope that when the sun rises again it won't be white and icy. But if it is I will pray for a safe journey and be thankful tomorrow when I am home safe again.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Monday November 18, 2013....
Ahhh Monday, what can we say about you? I'm just going to say that atleast the workday went quickly and I wish they all went so fast. My mom made us dinner so I didn't have to cook when I got home, which is also another welcome thing that almost never happens to me.
I got to read a little of my book and got some laundry and dishes done. I put in a full day at work, and helped daughter with her homework, all in all a pretty peaceful day. I am smiling as we speak. Not for any real reason other than it hasn't been awful today and I'm thankful.
I have also discovered quite recently that the raw pain of recent events has suddenly lifted. It comes back on occasion, just for a second trying to push it's ugly head into memories. I am able to block it out more and more. Each day is still a struggle but it gets so much easier.
I am thankful I didn't have to make dinner tonight and had more time for other things. I am thankful my daughter gets her homework done without too much trouble from me, and I'm thankful she is getting better at reading and also loves having me read to her. I am thankful I have sight to see the words, and the knowledge to read books. I am thankful we still have a dry place to sleep and food to eat.
I am as always thankful for my family and friends, and I'm thankful for Jesus, dying for my sins. I am thankful for the dry roads so far and hope that when the storms do come they aren't bad during driving times. I am thankful for my health (though it could be better) I am thankful for the peace that enters my heart and drives away the stress and anxiety from my soul. May each day get better and each moment get happier until I've healed myself , patched my heart and listened to my soul.
Ahhh Monday, what can we say about you? I'm just going to say that atleast the workday went quickly and I wish they all went so fast. My mom made us dinner so I didn't have to cook when I got home, which is also another welcome thing that almost never happens to me.
I got to read a little of my book and got some laundry and dishes done. I put in a full day at work, and helped daughter with her homework, all in all a pretty peaceful day. I am smiling as we speak. Not for any real reason other than it hasn't been awful today and I'm thankful.
I have also discovered quite recently that the raw pain of recent events has suddenly lifted. It comes back on occasion, just for a second trying to push it's ugly head into memories. I am able to block it out more and more. Each day is still a struggle but it gets so much easier.
I am thankful I didn't have to make dinner tonight and had more time for other things. I am thankful my daughter gets her homework done without too much trouble from me, and I'm thankful she is getting better at reading and also loves having me read to her. I am thankful I have sight to see the words, and the knowledge to read books. I am thankful we still have a dry place to sleep and food to eat.
I am as always thankful for my family and friends, and I'm thankful for Jesus, dying for my sins. I am thankful for the dry roads so far and hope that when the storms do come they aren't bad during driving times. I am thankful for my health (though it could be better) I am thankful for the peace that enters my heart and drives away the stress and anxiety from my soul. May each day get better and each moment get happier until I've healed myself , patched my heart and listened to my soul.
Sunday November 18, 2013...
Although the weekend started out badly It ended pretty good. We had a wonderful Sunday dinner and although it's late as usual, I guess we are ready to start another week.
The grind is starting to become the grind and hopefully soon I can have enough change in my life for it to become something different. Maybe soon I'll actually be happy for Monday to come a long.
I am thankful for quiet weekends at home, and playing games, laughing and talking. I am thankful for holidays to celebrate and things that bring family together. I am thankful for Turkey and Pie and everything in between, and remember all the wonderful memories of how it used to be.
I am thankful that no matter what happens tomorrow, I will learn and grow and become that much stronger. I am thankful that though I thought I was broken forever I am slowly learning that not only will I not be broken forever, but I will also be better than I ever was before.
Although the weekend started out badly It ended pretty good. We had a wonderful Sunday dinner and although it's late as usual, I guess we are ready to start another week.
The grind is starting to become the grind and hopefully soon I can have enough change in my life for it to become something different. Maybe soon I'll actually be happy for Monday to come a long.
I am thankful for quiet weekends at home, and playing games, laughing and talking. I am thankful for holidays to celebrate and things that bring family together. I am thankful for Turkey and Pie and everything in between, and remember all the wonderful memories of how it used to be.
I am thankful that no matter what happens tomorrow, I will learn and grow and become that much stronger. I am thankful that though I thought I was broken forever I am slowly learning that not only will I not be broken forever, but I will also be better than I ever was before.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Thursday November 14, 2014....
Winter is upon us and doesn't look like it's gonna stop, right at the go. It's supposed to snow all weekend and I hope it doesn't snow bad. The temps are also supposed to drop tomorrow. Fun stuff!!
Smiled a lot today. Can't wait until I am done and everything is figured out. Then I'll be able to start moving on with my life. Now that makes me very happy. I found myself also taking some deep breaths today, although to be fair I woke up pretty dizzy so I was also taking deep breaths trying to get my dizziness to go away.
I am thankful for snow when I can sit at a window and drink coffee while watching it come down, knowing I don't have to drive in it. I am thankful for my job and my family friends, and children.
I am thankful for the life I have with my kids and I'm thankful I had food for them another day. I am thankful we have heat as the temperatures begin to drop. I am thankful I am becoming this new person that doesn't always stress, and doesn't always look at the negative.
I am thankful that no matter what has happened in the past, I will eventually move on to better and brighter things.
Winter is upon us and doesn't look like it's gonna stop, right at the go. It's supposed to snow all weekend and I hope it doesn't snow bad. The temps are also supposed to drop tomorrow. Fun stuff!!
Smiled a lot today. Can't wait until I am done and everything is figured out. Then I'll be able to start moving on with my life. Now that makes me very happy. I found myself also taking some deep breaths today, although to be fair I woke up pretty dizzy so I was also taking deep breaths trying to get my dizziness to go away.
I am thankful for snow when I can sit at a window and drink coffee while watching it come down, knowing I don't have to drive in it. I am thankful for my job and my family friends, and children.
I am thankful for the life I have with my kids and I'm thankful I had food for them another day. I am thankful we have heat as the temperatures begin to drop. I am thankful I am becoming this new person that doesn't always stress, and doesn't always look at the negative.
I am thankful that no matter what has happened in the past, I will eventually move on to better and brighter things.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Wednesday November 13, 2013....
I would like to say something thought provoking but my mind is always jumbled with thoughts of how I'm going to afford to raise my kids off the streets and out of shelters.. so thoughts are not to provoking.
Work went by far too slow for my liking but I managed to be smiling when I left. I didn't even pound my head against the desk today. I try and remind myself, when asked the same question for the 5th time in less than a minute, that perhaps the lovely person on the other end of the phone just can't hear me well, I know sometimes I can't hear them worth anything.
I try to get through my calls with a smile, mostly successful and my hopes are that I will get a decent score on my calls this month. That would be good.
I am thankful for my shower, hot water and my fluffy soft robe. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids another day and a dry place for them to sleep for now. I am thankful it didn't snow today and was somewhat warm again.
I am thankful I have a job and a paycheck to pay the never ending bills. I am thankful I am on this journey to become happy because by now, if I weren't I may be contemplating suicide. I wouldn't do it, I would just be thinking it everyday and that does nobody any good. Much better to be smiling.
I will hold my head high, I will go on and be stronger than I ever was before. I don't know how, I don't know where but it will be better than it's ever been, for me and for them.
I would like to say something thought provoking but my mind is always jumbled with thoughts of how I'm going to afford to raise my kids off the streets and out of shelters.. so thoughts are not to provoking.
Work went by far too slow for my liking but I managed to be smiling when I left. I didn't even pound my head against the desk today. I try and remind myself, when asked the same question for the 5th time in less than a minute, that perhaps the lovely person on the other end of the phone just can't hear me well, I know sometimes I can't hear them worth anything.
I try to get through my calls with a smile, mostly successful and my hopes are that I will get a decent score on my calls this month. That would be good.
I am thankful for my shower, hot water and my fluffy soft robe. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids another day and a dry place for them to sleep for now. I am thankful it didn't snow today and was somewhat warm again.
I am thankful I have a job and a paycheck to pay the never ending bills. I am thankful I am on this journey to become happy because by now, if I weren't I may be contemplating suicide. I wouldn't do it, I would just be thinking it everyday and that does nobody any good. Much better to be smiling.
I will hold my head high, I will go on and be stronger than I ever was before. I don't know how, I don't know where but it will be better than it's ever been, for me and for them.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Tuesday November 12, 2013....
I am thankful we had a warm sunny day today, I am grateful it is almost Thanksgiving and we get to see family and eat wonderful foods. I am grateful that I am not such a horrible person that I can only think of myself and not my child (children).
I am thankful that I am on a quest for happiness and that I am truly wanting to let this all go. I am thankful as always for my children and my family and friends.
Even through a really tough day I have walked away from it with nothing more than a little headache, laughter in my voice and a smile on my face. I will never be the wretched thing he has become, and that too makes me so full of gratitude.
I am thankful we had a warm sunny day today, I am grateful it is almost Thanksgiving and we get to see family and eat wonderful foods. I am grateful that I am not such a horrible person that I can only think of myself and not my child (children).
I am thankful that I am on a quest for happiness and that I am truly wanting to let this all go. I am thankful as always for my children and my family and friends.
Even through a really tough day I have walked away from it with nothing more than a little headache, laughter in my voice and a smile on my face. I will never be the wretched thing he has become, and that too makes me so full of gratitude.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Saturday November 9, 2013.....
What a great day. Beautiful warm sunshine and blue skies. I slept in, made coffee, checked out my face book, did laundry, dishes, took my son to work, raked my yard, cleaned my house, read in my book, made a fall wreath for my front door, made dinner, cleaned the garbage out of my car, picked my son up, caught up with my show on Netflix and I still have tomorrow left before the new week begins.
I am antsy for Tuesday court will not be fun I'm sure of it, but I'm leaving it in God's hands and whatever happens, is what is supposed to happen so I am trying not to stress out to much.
I have smiled a lot today. I was smiling when I woke to sun and blue skies, I was smiling when I was raking (because I love raking the crunchy fall leaves up), I was smiling when my house was cleaner, laughing out right while I watched my show, smiled while making my wreath and was smiling almost to tears at how beautiful the sunset was tonight. It was like a sunset ocean in the sky. The clouds looked like ocean waves all in pink and orange with a blue sky background. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen this far in my life. I am thankful I was able to see it.
Thankful I got so much done today and didn't sit around moping and being sad and depressed. I am thankful I got to start my Christmas shopping yesterday with my sister. I am thankful as always for my wonderful kids and family and friends.
I am thankful for the warm sun on my face and for having a beautiful warm weekend even those are gonna be few all too soon. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and a warm dry place for them to sleep.
I am thankful I have a credit card I can use to get my car fixed tomorrow and hopefully it won't be to awfully much. I am thankful it hasn't broken down yet even though it takes a lot of punishment from me.
The more thankful I become, the more aware of the little things I am. I find each day's trials to be a little less stressful and know in my heart that whatever tomorrow brings positivity will only make everything better. One day at a time....
What a great day. Beautiful warm sunshine and blue skies. I slept in, made coffee, checked out my face book, did laundry, dishes, took my son to work, raked my yard, cleaned my house, read in my book, made a fall wreath for my front door, made dinner, cleaned the garbage out of my car, picked my son up, caught up with my show on Netflix and I still have tomorrow left before the new week begins.
I am antsy for Tuesday court will not be fun I'm sure of it, but I'm leaving it in God's hands and whatever happens, is what is supposed to happen so I am trying not to stress out to much.
I have smiled a lot today. I was smiling when I woke to sun and blue skies, I was smiling when I was raking (because I love raking the crunchy fall leaves up), I was smiling when my house was cleaner, laughing out right while I watched my show, smiled while making my wreath and was smiling almost to tears at how beautiful the sunset was tonight. It was like a sunset ocean in the sky. The clouds looked like ocean waves all in pink and orange with a blue sky background. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen this far in my life. I am thankful I was able to see it.
Thankful I got so much done today and didn't sit around moping and being sad and depressed. I am thankful I got to start my Christmas shopping yesterday with my sister. I am thankful as always for my wonderful kids and family and friends.
I am thankful for the warm sun on my face and for having a beautiful warm weekend even those are gonna be few all too soon. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and a warm dry place for them to sleep.
I am thankful I have a credit card I can use to get my car fixed tomorrow and hopefully it won't be to awfully much. I am thankful it hasn't broken down yet even though it takes a lot of punishment from me.
The more thankful I become, the more aware of the little things I am. I find each day's trials to be a little less stressful and know in my heart that whatever tomorrow brings positivity will only make everything better. One day at a time....
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Thursday November 7, 2013....
Today started with a beautiful sunrise. Got to work on time, and it pretty much went down from there. With the exception of wanting to bash my head into my desk a couple of times, I plugged on through it with a smile on my face. Thank goodness for my friends laughing with me and helping me get through it.
We had a wonderful dinner of homemade spaghetti and garlic butter croissants. Ran my son on some errands and came home and read which is one of my favorite past times and does make me happy.
I'm starting to realize how much it does help to try and laugh through the stress, and also how much the problems seem less stressful when you are finding so many things to be grateful for.
I keep seeing so many things that say to be grateful for what you have, don't focus on what you don't have and just live your life and be happy. I'm happy to say that it may sound silly but it is so true. I don't have a million dollars. I don't have a place to call home. I don't have enough money to truly support my kids. I don't always have food to feed them, but, I do have a job that pays me money to support them better than I could without a job. I do have a dry place with heat for them to sleep, and I have a family and friends who always make sure we have food to eat even if it means going to eat with them.
I am thankful for all that I do have, and find that my priorities of what I want have certainly changed since I have found my self on my own. It's not about the movies, toys, electronics, or the material items but the necessities and really that's all that matters.
I am thankful to have my children they are my life and I would be nothing without them. I am thankful as always for my family and friends. I am also thankful for the sunrise and sunset each day I get to witness it. I am thankful for eyes to see the beautiful colors around me. I am thankful for laughter and hope. I am thankful for the ability to cook food my children enjoy. I am thankful I can read and write, two of the most important things to me.
I am thankful I am me, and even though so days I wish I was anyone but me, I know there is a reason God made me who I am , and I pray I can become everything he wanted me to be.
Today started with a beautiful sunrise. Got to work on time, and it pretty much went down from there. With the exception of wanting to bash my head into my desk a couple of times, I plugged on through it with a smile on my face. Thank goodness for my friends laughing with me and helping me get through it.
We had a wonderful dinner of homemade spaghetti and garlic butter croissants. Ran my son on some errands and came home and read which is one of my favorite past times and does make me happy.
I'm starting to realize how much it does help to try and laugh through the stress, and also how much the problems seem less stressful when you are finding so many things to be grateful for.
I keep seeing so many things that say to be grateful for what you have, don't focus on what you don't have and just live your life and be happy. I'm happy to say that it may sound silly but it is so true. I don't have a million dollars. I don't have a place to call home. I don't have enough money to truly support my kids. I don't always have food to feed them, but, I do have a job that pays me money to support them better than I could without a job. I do have a dry place with heat for them to sleep, and I have a family and friends who always make sure we have food to eat even if it means going to eat with them.
I am thankful for all that I do have, and find that my priorities of what I want have certainly changed since I have found my self on my own. It's not about the movies, toys, electronics, or the material items but the necessities and really that's all that matters.
I am thankful to have my children they are my life and I would be nothing without them. I am thankful as always for my family and friends. I am also thankful for the sunrise and sunset each day I get to witness it. I am thankful for eyes to see the beautiful colors around me. I am thankful for laughter and hope. I am thankful for the ability to cook food my children enjoy. I am thankful I can read and write, two of the most important things to me.
I am thankful I am me, and even though so days I wish I was anyone but me, I know there is a reason God made me who I am , and I pray I can become everything he wanted me to be.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Wednesday November 6, 2013...
Today I was trying to be upbeat and happy, at least more happy than I was yesterday. I managed it most of the day although my customers were trying my patience all day. I guess everyone has their days but I would just like to repeat Monday as far as customers calling in.
Got my sons tooth fixed today and was able to feed my kids some take out for a change. All in all a pretty good day. I am really tired though and plan to be getting to bed earlier than normal. Hoping I won't have more of the weird dreams I had last night.
I am grateful I was able to get my son to the dentist, grateful we could have take out for a change, and grateful it didn't snow today. I am grateful as always for my family and friends and my wonderful children.
I am grateful that no matter what tomorrow will come and someday I will find my path. I am grateful I am strong enough to smile when I am feeling like crying and grateful that when I am literally dizzy from the stress I can calm myself with a deep breath and a prayer.
I am grateful for my job and it's paycheck no matter how small and I'm grateful they offer insurance so I don't have to pay for Obama's. I am grateful he won't be president forever and pray the next one will be better.
I am grateful we had a warm place to lay our heads tonight and that I can afford to pay my gas bill. I am grateful I got my leaves cleaned up before it got cold. I am grateful ORS finally got my some money from the deadbeat and that will hopefully start going better. I am grateful this nightmare is almost over and no matter what happens in court, I am moving forward with my life.
Today I was trying to be upbeat and happy, at least more happy than I was yesterday. I managed it most of the day although my customers were trying my patience all day. I guess everyone has their days but I would just like to repeat Monday as far as customers calling in.
Got my sons tooth fixed today and was able to feed my kids some take out for a change. All in all a pretty good day. I am really tired though and plan to be getting to bed earlier than normal. Hoping I won't have more of the weird dreams I had last night.
I am grateful I was able to get my son to the dentist, grateful we could have take out for a change, and grateful it didn't snow today. I am grateful as always for my family and friends and my wonderful children.
I am grateful that no matter what tomorrow will come and someday I will find my path. I am grateful I am strong enough to smile when I am feeling like crying and grateful that when I am literally dizzy from the stress I can calm myself with a deep breath and a prayer.
I am grateful for my job and it's paycheck no matter how small and I'm grateful they offer insurance so I don't have to pay for Obama's. I am grateful he won't be president forever and pray the next one will be better.
I am grateful we had a warm place to lay our heads tonight and that I can afford to pay my gas bill. I am grateful I got my leaves cleaned up before it got cold. I am grateful ORS finally got my some money from the deadbeat and that will hopefully start going better. I am grateful this nightmare is almost over and no matter what happens in court, I am moving forward with my life.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013....
I am really not happy today, too much going on but I am smiling through it and still thankful for a lot of stuff so here goes,
I am thankful I made it safely to drop off my kiddos and get back across the city to work in the icy snow storm we woke up to. I am thankful I have a job to risk my life getting to and that it at least pays most of the bills. I am thankful that I have food to feed my kids this week and a warm place for them to lay their heads at night.
I am thankful for the ability to read and write and smile through the tears. I am thankful as always for my family and the friends who I bore to death with the constant venting about the unfairness of the everyday dramas in my life.
I am thankful I can see and hear and touch and feel and even though my heart is guarded by a steel enforced door, I still have the ability to love the ones who don't hurt me. I am thankful the sun came out and melted the nasty snow leaving dry roads to travel home on.
The more things I think of being thankful for the more the stressful things seem non significant. Tomorrow I will pray for a better day and answers to today's stress.
I am really not happy today, too much going on but I am smiling through it and still thankful for a lot of stuff so here goes,
I am thankful I made it safely to drop off my kiddos and get back across the city to work in the icy snow storm we woke up to. I am thankful I have a job to risk my life getting to and that it at least pays most of the bills. I am thankful that I have food to feed my kids this week and a warm place for them to lay their heads at night.
I am thankful for the ability to read and write and smile through the tears. I am thankful as always for my family and the friends who I bore to death with the constant venting about the unfairness of the everyday dramas in my life.
I am thankful I can see and hear and touch and feel and even though my heart is guarded by a steel enforced door, I still have the ability to love the ones who don't hurt me. I am thankful the sun came out and melted the nasty snow leaving dry roads to travel home on.
The more things I think of being thankful for the more the stressful things seem non significant. Tomorrow I will pray for a better day and answers to today's stress.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Monday November 4, 2013.....
Tired beyond all reason, was up all too late last night, made it through the day God made me, and I prayed this morning that it would go fast and that I would have a good day, and guess what, it went speedy quick and I had an excellent day. Maybe not everything went my way, I am supposed to take my son to a dentist appointment and can't get the time off but otherwise the day was great.
I'm thankful to have had such a good day, I'm thankful we had money for groceries and gas in the car. I'm thankful I could pay the bills. I'm thankful we have a dry place to sleep and heat to keep us warm.
As always I'm thankful for my family , and friends and my kids most of all they are my greatest blessing.
I have kept a smile on my face today and taken a couple deep breaths but being this tired I'm surprised the moods weren't swinging. Perhaps all this staying conscience of being happy is working.
Tired beyond all reason, was up all too late last night, made it through the day God made me, and I prayed this morning that it would go fast and that I would have a good day, and guess what, it went speedy quick and I had an excellent day. Maybe not everything went my way, I am supposed to take my son to a dentist appointment and can't get the time off but otherwise the day was great.
I'm thankful to have had such a good day, I'm thankful we had money for groceries and gas in the car. I'm thankful I could pay the bills. I'm thankful we have a dry place to sleep and heat to keep us warm.
As always I'm thankful for my family , and friends and my kids most of all they are my greatest blessing.
I have kept a smile on my face today and taken a couple deep breaths but being this tired I'm surprised the moods weren't swinging. Perhaps all this staying conscience of being happy is working.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Sunday November 3, 2013....
Today was a relaxing day. I've done nothing but a couple loads of laundry. Mostly spent the day watching Supernatural with my kids. I love and hate that show all at the same time. It snowed this morning. Nothing much, but still I am not ready to be driving back and forth in it. I'm not ready for a lot of things but especially not snow.
I have had a lot of things going through my head today, not all of them happy, but not all of them sad either. In my quest for happiness I think that you can't always be happy every minute of every day. There are so many things that are getting me down. Still though smiling seems to be a good way to get past them.
When a new horror begins to unfold, like my son jumping off a moving vehicle and breaking his front tooth, I take a deep breath and as I feel the stress coming on heavy , I simply remind myself that I am stronger than this. I can get over this one, and the next one and the one after that. After all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and if it kills you, well you are dead so it can't stress you out right?
I am thankful for my friends, family, and especially my kids. I am thankful for their love, even the teenager who doesn't say it often, and I am thankful that I had food to feed them for the weekend and a warm dry place for them to sleep. I am thankful for the weekend even though it isn't long enough, and I'm thankful that I have a job to go to during the week.
I am thankful for so much more but tonight think i'll just leave with that. Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully new and wonderful things will happen in it.
Today was a relaxing day. I've done nothing but a couple loads of laundry. Mostly spent the day watching Supernatural with my kids. I love and hate that show all at the same time. It snowed this morning. Nothing much, but still I am not ready to be driving back and forth in it. I'm not ready for a lot of things but especially not snow.
I have had a lot of things going through my head today, not all of them happy, but not all of them sad either. In my quest for happiness I think that you can't always be happy every minute of every day. There are so many things that are getting me down. Still though smiling seems to be a good way to get past them.
When a new horror begins to unfold, like my son jumping off a moving vehicle and breaking his front tooth, I take a deep breath and as I feel the stress coming on heavy , I simply remind myself that I am stronger than this. I can get over this one, and the next one and the one after that. After all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and if it kills you, well you are dead so it can't stress you out right?
I am thankful for my friends, family, and especially my kids. I am thankful for their love, even the teenager who doesn't say it often, and I am thankful that I had food to feed them for the weekend and a warm dry place for them to sleep. I am thankful for the weekend even though it isn't long enough, and I'm thankful that I have a job to go to during the week.
I am thankful for so much more but tonight think i'll just leave with that. Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully new and wonderful things will happen in it.
Saturday November 2, 2013....
Thankful for a beautiful fall day, spent with my daughter and family. Cleaned the house and raked leaves in the yard, went to the zoo with my daughter, and then visited my mom for her Birthday. Raked some of her leaves too, then came home and watched a movie with my daughter and Son.
It was a lovely relaxing day. I wish Saturdays had a bunch more hours in them but I guess I'll just wake up tomorrow and make the most of that day as well. I prefer to sleep in and do nothing on Sundays, but maybe if I start doing different things than normal, I'll get different results in my life.
I'm thankful as always for my family and friends. I'm thankful it's the month to tell everyone all you are thankful for. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and time to spend with my daughter. I am thankful I am becoming less stressed and more calm when things happen in my life, and I am thankful that with each new thing I have to be thankful for , it's one more thing to make me happy.
I'm thankful that I have a job and a paycheck to pay the bills, and I'm thankful for the roof over our heads and the heat that warms us. I'm thankful we have somewhere to lay our heads at night, when so many don't .
I'm thankful that I can smile through the stress and realize that my head makes things so much worse than they really are. I'm thankful I am starting to see that tomorrow holds such promise and just because he held us back from having anything nice, doesn't mean that I can't have a better home and dreams in the future. I'm thankful , for that matter, that I can dream in the first place.
I'm thankful for all my friends that are still here putting up with me even though so many couldn't. I'm thankful for their love and support no matter what I'm venting and how Im hating, they just understand and let me get it all off my chest.
Tomorrow is supposed to snow. I'm not too thankful for that although I am thankful for the water it brings us here in this desert state. Stay tuned , depending on the amount of snow that falls will determine the smile on my face tomorrow... but for now, forgive, deep breath, and smile.....
Thankful for a beautiful fall day, spent with my daughter and family. Cleaned the house and raked leaves in the yard, went to the zoo with my daughter, and then visited my mom for her Birthday. Raked some of her leaves too, then came home and watched a movie with my daughter and Son.
It was a lovely relaxing day. I wish Saturdays had a bunch more hours in them but I guess I'll just wake up tomorrow and make the most of that day as well. I prefer to sleep in and do nothing on Sundays, but maybe if I start doing different things than normal, I'll get different results in my life.
I'm thankful as always for my family and friends. I'm thankful it's the month to tell everyone all you are thankful for. I am thankful I had food to feed my kids and time to spend with my daughter. I am thankful I am becoming less stressed and more calm when things happen in my life, and I am thankful that with each new thing I have to be thankful for , it's one more thing to make me happy.
I'm thankful that I have a job and a paycheck to pay the bills, and I'm thankful for the roof over our heads and the heat that warms us. I'm thankful we have somewhere to lay our heads at night, when so many don't .
I'm thankful that I can smile through the stress and realize that my head makes things so much worse than they really are. I'm thankful I am starting to see that tomorrow holds such promise and just because he held us back from having anything nice, doesn't mean that I can't have a better home and dreams in the future. I'm thankful , for that matter, that I can dream in the first place.
I'm thankful for all my friends that are still here putting up with me even though so many couldn't. I'm thankful for their love and support no matter what I'm venting and how Im hating, they just understand and let me get it all off my chest.
Tomorrow is supposed to snow. I'm not too thankful for that although I am thankful for the water it brings us here in this desert state. Stay tuned , depending on the amount of snow that falls will determine the smile on my face tomorrow... but for now, forgive, deep breath, and smile.....
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Thursday October 31, 2013...
Happy Halloween. Have had a wonderful day. Started it with my daughters Halloween party, then her class Halloween party. Then we came home and made Taco soup (my favorite) and enjoyed that while I got a much better deal on my car insurance than I was offered at my current place.
I Zombied myself and we headed out Trick or Treating. She scored quite a bit of candy and we had a blast. We even got free drinks at Maverick. Yay us!
Came home and showered and now I'm ready for bed. Thankful tomorrow is Friday, and although I have to work all day, it's Friday! Love the weekend and it's my weekend with my daughter so even better.
Tomorrow start November and I usually reserve that for things that I am thankful for but everyday there is so much to look around and be Thankful for. Gratitude breeds more peace every day.
I'm Thankful for being able to go out with my daughter and Trick or Treat, and dress up and just have fun and spend time together. I'm thankful I got paid for it with my floating Holiday at work. I'm thankful we got to spend some time with my mom and made sure she had a good holiday as well.
I'm thankful my kids make my heart happy and my soul feel better. I'm Thankful Jesus died on the cross to save me. I'm thankful I was graced with my children , and friends and family.
I'm thankful I have a job that gives me a paycheck and insurance and even though it's not the most wonderful of jobs it isn't the worst either. I'm thankful that we had food to eat, and a warm place to eat it. I'm thankful my kids can lay their heads down in a warm dry place.
I'm thankful my heart doesn't hurt as bad as it used to, and I'm thankful that I can find so many things in my life to be thankful for. It's not easy and sometimes I still explode at the smallest things, but everyday is getting better and especially when I really concentrate on it. I just want to be happy and forgetting and moving on, knowing that I have a better life out there for me.
Happy Halloween. Have had a wonderful day. Started it with my daughters Halloween party, then her class Halloween party. Then we came home and made Taco soup (my favorite) and enjoyed that while I got a much better deal on my car insurance than I was offered at my current place.
I Zombied myself and we headed out Trick or Treating. She scored quite a bit of candy and we had a blast. We even got free drinks at Maverick. Yay us!
Came home and showered and now I'm ready for bed. Thankful tomorrow is Friday, and although I have to work all day, it's Friday! Love the weekend and it's my weekend with my daughter so even better.
Tomorrow start November and I usually reserve that for things that I am thankful for but everyday there is so much to look around and be Thankful for. Gratitude breeds more peace every day.
I'm Thankful for being able to go out with my daughter and Trick or Treat, and dress up and just have fun and spend time together. I'm thankful I got paid for it with my floating Holiday at work. I'm thankful we got to spend some time with my mom and made sure she had a good holiday as well.
I'm thankful my kids make my heart happy and my soul feel better. I'm Thankful Jesus died on the cross to save me. I'm thankful I was graced with my children , and friends and family.
I'm thankful I have a job that gives me a paycheck and insurance and even though it's not the most wonderful of jobs it isn't the worst either. I'm thankful that we had food to eat, and a warm place to eat it. I'm thankful my kids can lay their heads down in a warm dry place.
I'm thankful my heart doesn't hurt as bad as it used to, and I'm thankful that I can find so many things in my life to be thankful for. It's not easy and sometimes I still explode at the smallest things, but everyday is getting better and especially when I really concentrate on it. I just want to be happy and forgetting and moving on, knowing that I have a better life out there for me.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Wednesday October 30, 2013....
Halloween Eve. My daughter is ecstatic. Dressing up as a zombie cheerleader. She loves it as much as I do. We have her parade in the morning then back in the afternoon to help with the Halloween party. We are making paper plate ghosts. Should be fun. Last year we made spiders.
I hope the kids enjoy it as much. I am not in charge of it this year , which is fine with me because it's a lot of work.
I have the day off as a floating Holiday. Can't wait. Paid for 8 hours and don't even have to be there. Love Halloween!
Today I am grateful that it didn't snow , only rain. I am grateful I finally got some money in my account, I am grateful to have a roof over my kids head and a warm place for them to sleep, at least for now. Grateful I had food to feed them and a pay check on the way.
I am grateful that the work day finally ended, and as always I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for holidays to look forward to and mark the seasons with memories. I am grateful I have a camera to capture the memories and a computer to share the memories with.
I am grateful for the season even though I may not like them all. I am grateful I have a job and friends to pass the day with. I am grateful my car is running so I can get to work.
I am grateful that as of yet I don't have to stand on a corner holding a sign and begging for money. I am grateful I have people who care about me, and wouldn't let us sleep out under the overpass. I am grateful that no matter what tomorrow brings, I can still smile because I have the love of my children , my family, and friends. I can have Faith that God will watch over me and lead my life in the right direction.
I am grateful I am out of a relationship that only brought me down and never lifted me up with praise or appreciation. I am grateful that I lived through it as unscathed as I did.
I am grateful that this quest is bringing me peace and helping me handle new stress a little more gracefully than I used to. Still a challenge I need to work on, and I'm sure I still have a long way to go, but I am starting to see change and I even recognize when I relapse into the depression and anger. One day at a time. Smile and deep breath.....
Halloween Eve. My daughter is ecstatic. Dressing up as a zombie cheerleader. She loves it as much as I do. We have her parade in the morning then back in the afternoon to help with the Halloween party. We are making paper plate ghosts. Should be fun. Last year we made spiders.
I hope the kids enjoy it as much. I am not in charge of it this year , which is fine with me because it's a lot of work.
I have the day off as a floating Holiday. Can't wait. Paid for 8 hours and don't even have to be there. Love Halloween!
Today I am grateful that it didn't snow , only rain. I am grateful I finally got some money in my account, I am grateful to have a roof over my kids head and a warm place for them to sleep, at least for now. Grateful I had food to feed them and a pay check on the way.
I am grateful that the work day finally ended, and as always I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for holidays to look forward to and mark the seasons with memories. I am grateful I have a camera to capture the memories and a computer to share the memories with.
I am grateful for the season even though I may not like them all. I am grateful I have a job and friends to pass the day with. I am grateful my car is running so I can get to work.
I am grateful that as of yet I don't have to stand on a corner holding a sign and begging for money. I am grateful I have people who care about me, and wouldn't let us sleep out under the overpass. I am grateful that no matter what tomorrow brings, I can still smile because I have the love of my children , my family, and friends. I can have Faith that God will watch over me and lead my life in the right direction.
I am grateful I am out of a relationship that only brought me down and never lifted me up with praise or appreciation. I am grateful that I lived through it as unscathed as I did.
I am grateful that this quest is bringing me peace and helping me handle new stress a little more gracefully than I used to. Still a challenge I need to work on, and I'm sure I still have a long way to go, but I am starting to see change and I even recognize when I relapse into the depression and anger. One day at a time. Smile and deep breath.....
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Tuesday October 29, 2013.....
Beautiful day in the neighborhood, rain but as of yet none of the promised snow. I dislike snow. Slippery, cold, dangerous.... but I'll tell you what I'm thankful it hasn't started yet.
It is almost Halloween, we have a potluck at work tomorrow, which always makes the day go faster and better. I got a little off this morning but turned it around by afternoon. I'm hoping to be all about the happy tomorrow.
Smile, deep breath. That's what it's all about. Send the stress somewhere else. I make myself sick with stress and worry. I wonder what happened to the care free days.
I'm grateful for the job that pays me. I'm grateful for the food I was able to feed my children. I'm grateful for the dry roof over our heads and for the warmth I could afford for one more month. I'm grateful as always for my friends and family and especially my kids they are the sunshine in the storm. I'm grateful for the peace I find amongst the chaos. I'm grateful for the things my mom does to help me even if she can't really help me. I'm grateful that I can smile through the tears.
I'm grateful for God standing by my side even if I don't often have faith he is there. I'm grateful that I live in a place where we are still somewhat free. I'm grateful I can take time off work to celebrate holidays with my daughter, and I'm grateful that I can afford my medication so I don't keep getting sicker. I'm grateful for the crunchy leaves that are blowing against my fence. I'm grateful that my daughter finds such joy jumping in them, I enjoy crunching through the leaves as well. I'm grateful I have sight and hearing, and taste and touch. I'm grateful for my hands to work.
The thing I'm starting to learn the most in this search for happiness is that every time I take the time to think about it, I find that there are more and more things to be thankful for and less and less things to be angry and stressed about. Hopefully soon I'll be able to find happiness without having to really think about it. Hopefully soon the happiness will out weigh the misery.
Beautiful day in the neighborhood, rain but as of yet none of the promised snow. I dislike snow. Slippery, cold, dangerous.... but I'll tell you what I'm thankful it hasn't started yet.
It is almost Halloween, we have a potluck at work tomorrow, which always makes the day go faster and better. I got a little off this morning but turned it around by afternoon. I'm hoping to be all about the happy tomorrow.
Smile, deep breath. That's what it's all about. Send the stress somewhere else. I make myself sick with stress and worry. I wonder what happened to the care free days.
I'm grateful for the job that pays me. I'm grateful for the food I was able to feed my children. I'm grateful for the dry roof over our heads and for the warmth I could afford for one more month. I'm grateful as always for my friends and family and especially my kids they are the sunshine in the storm. I'm grateful for the peace I find amongst the chaos. I'm grateful for the things my mom does to help me even if she can't really help me. I'm grateful that I can smile through the tears.
I'm grateful for God standing by my side even if I don't often have faith he is there. I'm grateful that I live in a place where we are still somewhat free. I'm grateful I can take time off work to celebrate holidays with my daughter, and I'm grateful that I can afford my medication so I don't keep getting sicker. I'm grateful for the crunchy leaves that are blowing against my fence. I'm grateful that my daughter finds such joy jumping in them, I enjoy crunching through the leaves as well. I'm grateful I have sight and hearing, and taste and touch. I'm grateful for my hands to work.
The thing I'm starting to learn the most in this search for happiness is that every time I take the time to think about it, I find that there are more and more things to be thankful for and less and less things to be angry and stressed about. Hopefully soon I'll be able to find happiness without having to really think about it. Hopefully soon the happiness will out weigh the misery.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Monday October 28, 2013....
What can I say? I kept a smile on my face all day. It went pretty well at work and I was home before I knew it. The traffic sucked as usual, but again, smile on my face. Didn't call hardly anyone an idiot today, even though most of them are.
My daughter and I carved pumpkins, it was messy and slimy and definitely not my favorite thing to do, but we do it for the kids right?
Right!
Then came homework time, and well, I am just gonna say I lost it. LOST IT!!! They give my daughter a sheet with clocks on it, asking her to write the time on the digital clock underneath. Ok, no problem, then they want her to write the time 2 different ways from above.... ummmm.... So how many ways are there to write the time and has anyone ever, EVER had to write the time down any other way than how you would normally write it?!?! If you ask me, the school just has nothing better to do than waste everyone's time including our childrens. They should be using their time more wisely working on reading and writing than how many different ways you can write the time. Ugh! Rant over.
I am grateful for the workday, and the fact that at the end of it I make money to support my kids. I am grateful for the sunshine which didn't show itself today, I am grateful for the wind blowing the rest of the leaves from the tree so I just have to clean them up once. I am grateful to have a roof over my children's head , and food in their stomachs. I am grateful they can have a warm place to sleep.
I am grateful my car is still working (knock on wood) I am grateful I have two arms and two legs. I am grateful I have clothes to wear and my kids too. I am grateful as always for all my friends and family that help me get through each day.
I am grateful I am free to believe what I want and make my own choices everyday. I am grateful to be a mommy and even though it isn't easy being a single parent, I have a lot of experience in it. I am grateful that no matter what happens with others, I only have to worry about me.
What can I say? I kept a smile on my face all day. It went pretty well at work and I was home before I knew it. The traffic sucked as usual, but again, smile on my face. Didn't call hardly anyone an idiot today, even though most of them are.
My daughter and I carved pumpkins, it was messy and slimy and definitely not my favorite thing to do, but we do it for the kids right?
Right!
Then came homework time, and well, I am just gonna say I lost it. LOST IT!!! They give my daughter a sheet with clocks on it, asking her to write the time on the digital clock underneath. Ok, no problem, then they want her to write the time 2 different ways from above.... ummmm.... So how many ways are there to write the time and has anyone ever, EVER had to write the time down any other way than how you would normally write it?!?! If you ask me, the school just has nothing better to do than waste everyone's time including our childrens. They should be using their time more wisely working on reading and writing than how many different ways you can write the time. Ugh! Rant over.
I am grateful for the workday, and the fact that at the end of it I make money to support my kids. I am grateful for the sunshine which didn't show itself today, I am grateful for the wind blowing the rest of the leaves from the tree so I just have to clean them up once. I am grateful to have a roof over my children's head , and food in their stomachs. I am grateful they can have a warm place to sleep.
I am grateful my car is still working (knock on wood) I am grateful I have two arms and two legs. I am grateful I have clothes to wear and my kids too. I am grateful as always for all my friends and family that help me get through each day.
I am grateful I am free to believe what I want and make my own choices everyday. I am grateful to be a mommy and even though it isn't easy being a single parent, I have a lot of experience in it. I am grateful that no matter what happens with others, I only have to worry about me.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sunday October 27, 2013..
It was a beautiful weekend. So grateful to have a few more days of warmth. This week is supposed to drop about 20 degrees, and next weekend we change the time back an hour. Wish I didn't have to but I don't want to be early for everything. I hope that we don't get feet of snow next week like the other states are getting. I'm not ready to be driving in it. I'm not ready to shoveling it and the gray and the cold together reek havoc with my SAD. (self diagnosed) I will continue to smile and hope that I can find something great in each day that comes.
It was windy today but also sunny and warm and I got to watch my daughter run and jump into the pile of leaves I raked for her. She loves playing in all the crunchy leaves, and who can blame her. I love to crunch the leaves as well.
I am grateful I made it through another weekend with no money. I'm grateful I have gas to get to work and food to feed my kids a couple more days. I'm grateful I have a job to go to and a paycheck at the end of each two weeks. I am as always grateful for my friends and family and especially my kids.
I am grateful that in just a few weeks we will see what is going to happen to us and when we have to move. I am scared, and yet I'm excited to see what the future holds. I'm grateful that I have started to heal from the whole experience and this search for happiness is bringing me , if nothing else more smiles on my face.
It was a beautiful weekend. So grateful to have a few more days of warmth. This week is supposed to drop about 20 degrees, and next weekend we change the time back an hour. Wish I didn't have to but I don't want to be early for everything. I hope that we don't get feet of snow next week like the other states are getting. I'm not ready to be driving in it. I'm not ready to shoveling it and the gray and the cold together reek havoc with my SAD. (self diagnosed) I will continue to smile and hope that I can find something great in each day that comes.
It was windy today but also sunny and warm and I got to watch my daughter run and jump into the pile of leaves I raked for her. She loves playing in all the crunchy leaves, and who can blame her. I love to crunch the leaves as well.
I am grateful I made it through another weekend with no money. I'm grateful I have gas to get to work and food to feed my kids a couple more days. I'm grateful I have a job to go to and a paycheck at the end of each two weeks. I am as always grateful for my friends and family and especially my kids.
I am grateful that in just a few weeks we will see what is going to happen to us and when we have to move. I am scared, and yet I'm excited to see what the future holds. I'm grateful that I have started to heal from the whole experience and this search for happiness is bringing me , if nothing else more smiles on my face.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Friday October 25, 2013....
Friday evening. Weekend. Yay!!! Trying to not dwell on all the problems, stresses, worries... so I came home and sent my daughter off with her dad for the weekend, then raked some beautiful crunchy leaves. I love the sound of them as the rake scrapes across the driveway and lawn, dragging the mounds of orange crunchiness with it. I filled an entire garbage can and there is about 2 more garbage cans full still on the lawn in piles under the trees.
Made it through the week with all my hours, I'm grateful for that. I think the day went pretty well so I hope that as the weeks go by I hit everything on my calls and get a better score on my next month of sales.
Grateful that I have a job. Grateful that I can make a paycheck no matter how small. Grateful as always for my family and friends. Grateful the weekend is here with blue skies and sunshine and crunchy orange leaves.
Halloween is this week and I'll be partying with the 3rd graders, so it should be awesome. I'm grateful I can take the time off to spend with my daughter.
Grateful there is only two of us home and not enough food to eat. Im grateful that so far God or the universe or whatever you believe, has been on my side to find me help and keep me getting by.
Friday evening. Weekend. Yay!!! Trying to not dwell on all the problems, stresses, worries... so I came home and sent my daughter off with her dad for the weekend, then raked some beautiful crunchy leaves. I love the sound of them as the rake scrapes across the driveway and lawn, dragging the mounds of orange crunchiness with it. I filled an entire garbage can and there is about 2 more garbage cans full still on the lawn in piles under the trees.
Made it through the week with all my hours, I'm grateful for that. I think the day went pretty well so I hope that as the weeks go by I hit everything on my calls and get a better score on my next month of sales.
Grateful that I have a job. Grateful that I can make a paycheck no matter how small. Grateful as always for my family and friends. Grateful the weekend is here with blue skies and sunshine and crunchy orange leaves.
Halloween is this week and I'll be partying with the 3rd graders, so it should be awesome. I'm grateful I can take the time off to spend with my daughter.
Grateful there is only two of us home and not enough food to eat. Im grateful that so far God or the universe or whatever you believe, has been on my side to find me help and keep me getting by.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Thursday October 24, 2013....
I finally got my $50.00 bonus gift card at work which will come in handy to get a few groceries , plus ORS put a whole 36.00 into my account so I was able to get a little bit of gas. I'm having some issues with my insurance company right now but other than that the day went pretty well.
I found myself smiling most of the day, I got to work a whole shift at work and if I make it through tomorrow I should have a better paycheck this week. I am hoping that soon I will get more of my child support and then I can get back on track.
My head is constantly hurting with all the everyday stresses and trials but I know deep in my heart that it is making me a stronger and better person able to handle harder things in the future.
The sun was wonderful today, and the colors of the trees, just magnificent. I need to rake leaves which if done right can not only be fun but therapeutic and relaxing as well. (I also like to watch my daughter running and jumping in the crunchy leaves, something I wanted to do as well when I was young) I am looking forward to this week, it is Halloween, my favorite Holiday. I will be partying it down with the third graders and hopefully trick or treating in the freezing cold with my daughter. I don't work that day, because it's a sacred holiday after all. :)
I am thankful for my kids, family and friends, for my mom for putting up with my endless stress and helping in every way humanly possible for someone not working. I am thankful for my job and the paycheck it provides to pay for our life.
I am forever grateful for having a warm safe place my kids can lay their heads at night to sleep and also for having food for them to eat for one more day.
I finally got my $50.00 bonus gift card at work which will come in handy to get a few groceries , plus ORS put a whole 36.00 into my account so I was able to get a little bit of gas. I'm having some issues with my insurance company right now but other than that the day went pretty well.
I found myself smiling most of the day, I got to work a whole shift at work and if I make it through tomorrow I should have a better paycheck this week. I am hoping that soon I will get more of my child support and then I can get back on track.
My head is constantly hurting with all the everyday stresses and trials but I know deep in my heart that it is making me a stronger and better person able to handle harder things in the future.
The sun was wonderful today, and the colors of the trees, just magnificent. I need to rake leaves which if done right can not only be fun but therapeutic and relaxing as well. (I also like to watch my daughter running and jumping in the crunchy leaves, something I wanted to do as well when I was young) I am looking forward to this week, it is Halloween, my favorite Holiday. I will be partying it down with the third graders and hopefully trick or treating in the freezing cold with my daughter. I don't work that day, because it's a sacred holiday after all. :)
I am thankful for my kids, family and friends, for my mom for putting up with my endless stress and helping in every way humanly possible for someone not working. I am thankful for my job and the paycheck it provides to pay for our life.
I am forever grateful for having a warm safe place my kids can lay their heads at night to sleep and also for having food for them to eat for one more day.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Wednesday October 23, 2013....
You might trip me up but you can't break me. I may be low now but I will claw my way to a better life and when I get to the top of everything I'll be looking down at you alone and miserable and wondering how on earth you ever lost me.
I haven't written for a couple days because after all, this is my journey to happiness, but everyday is not sunshine and rainbows and when you can't feed your children, put gas in the car to get to work, or even put money in your child's lunch account, knowing they will be turned away for lunch right there in front of all their friends, while someone is off eating $10. steaks instead of paying their support payments, you tend to feel a little less than happy.
Today has not been better but for the blessings of friends, and a long hot shower, I am feeling much happier at the moment.
I am grateful to have food to feed my children one more meal, (all thanks to my mom who gave us some of her food) grateful for a warm, dry place to sleep.
Especially grateful to have a job to go to everyday to earn money to attempt a life for my children and a car to get there.
I am grateful for my friend, who even though she has nothing still finds it in her heart to help me with money for my daughters lunch account so she isn't hungry and embarrassed. I have sure found out who my real friends are and left many behind, but then, isn't that what happens when trials make us stand tall?
You might trip me up but you can't break me. I may be low now but I will claw my way to a better life and when I get to the top of everything I'll be looking down at you alone and miserable and wondering how on earth you ever lost me.
I haven't written for a couple days because after all, this is my journey to happiness, but everyday is not sunshine and rainbows and when you can't feed your children, put gas in the car to get to work, or even put money in your child's lunch account, knowing they will be turned away for lunch right there in front of all their friends, while someone is off eating $10. steaks instead of paying their support payments, you tend to feel a little less than happy.
Today has not been better but for the blessings of friends, and a long hot shower, I am feeling much happier at the moment.
I am grateful to have food to feed my children one more meal, (all thanks to my mom who gave us some of her food) grateful for a warm, dry place to sleep.
Especially grateful to have a job to go to everyday to earn money to attempt a life for my children and a car to get there.
I am grateful for my friend, who even though she has nothing still finds it in her heart to help me with money for my daughters lunch account so she isn't hungry and embarrassed. I have sure found out who my real friends are and left many behind, but then, isn't that what happens when trials make us stand tall?
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Sunday October 20, 2013...
Well despite the current stresses that I'm sure will pass sometime soon, I have had an incredible day. Started a little shaky like every weekend morning but the sun came up, the sky was blue and my coffee was there for me. I remembered my meds, and made breakfast.
I have gotten my laundry done, vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen. My daughter and I went to the park fed the ducks sat in the sunshine soaking up some vitamin D, and raked leaves.
We made cheesecake brownies, and watched cartoons while we ate tuna sandwiches for lunch. We also went for a walk and I uploaded my pics online. I am exhausted and wish I had another day to just hang out and relax doing nothing, but alas tomorrow is Monday and it's back to the daily grind.
I am thankful for warm fall days and playing in crunchy colorful leaves. I'm thankful for having food to feed my kids today and a warm dry place for them to sleep.
I am thankful I have a job to go to tomorrow and even though I am really not liking it at the moment I am thankful that it is there and pays me so that I can at least attempt to support my kids.
I am thankful that if I can continue to keep a smile on my face there won't be any room for a frown.
Well despite the current stresses that I'm sure will pass sometime soon, I have had an incredible day. Started a little shaky like every weekend morning but the sun came up, the sky was blue and my coffee was there for me. I remembered my meds, and made breakfast.
I have gotten my laundry done, vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen. My daughter and I went to the park fed the ducks sat in the sunshine soaking up some vitamin D, and raked leaves.
We made cheesecake brownies, and watched cartoons while we ate tuna sandwiches for lunch. We also went for a walk and I uploaded my pics online. I am exhausted and wish I had another day to just hang out and relax doing nothing, but alas tomorrow is Monday and it's back to the daily grind.
I am thankful for warm fall days and playing in crunchy colorful leaves. I'm thankful for having food to feed my kids today and a warm dry place for them to sleep.
I am thankful I have a job to go to tomorrow and even though I am really not liking it at the moment I am thankful that it is there and pays me so that I can at least attempt to support my kids.
I am thankful that if I can continue to keep a smile on my face there won't be any room for a frown.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Saturday October 19, 2013....
Today has been kind of challenging due to a dream I had last night and also some other things going on. But I keep smiling like a lunatic. The more I smile the less I can cry.
Hanging out cleaning and playing with my daughter. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. the colorful leaves are everywhere and we now have crunchy orange leaves all over the yard. My daughter wants to rake and play in those babies. Awesome how someone can have so much fun in discarded Nature.
I'll probably find more to say later but right now I just wanted to go over some things I'm thankful for, My kids of course, the warm sunshine, having food to feed my kids a warm rood over their head and a job to attempt to pay for everything to keep them warm and fed.
I'm most grateful for my family and friends who think I'm worth something, and for having the ability to take care of my children even when it doesn't seem like they care.
Today has been kind of challenging due to a dream I had last night and also some other things going on. But I keep smiling like a lunatic. The more I smile the less I can cry.
Hanging out cleaning and playing with my daughter. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. the colorful leaves are everywhere and we now have crunchy orange leaves all over the yard. My daughter wants to rake and play in those babies. Awesome how someone can have so much fun in discarded Nature.
I'll probably find more to say later but right now I just wanted to go over some things I'm thankful for, My kids of course, the warm sunshine, having food to feed my kids a warm rood over their head and a job to attempt to pay for everything to keep them warm and fed.
I'm most grateful for my family and friends who think I'm worth something, and for having the ability to take care of my children even when it doesn't seem like they care.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Thursday October 17, 2013....
Each day a new challenge. I would usually say 'nightmare' because that is what it all seems but due to the new need for happiness we are going to use the word challenge.
My insurance is wanting me to add my son, which I'm sure isn't a new thing for anyone but I can't even pay for groceries or a place to live so I really can't afford to triple my insurance. Don't know what I'll do about that but I guess I'll have to talk to them and see what the situation is. Stressing out, I know is not going to help anything or make the problem go away. We'll see what options there are and then stress out.
Today I am thankful I still have a job, I am thankful for being able to pay some of my bills and I am thankful that I was able to feed my kids today. I am thankful for my friends and family who still find me worth something.
Most of all I am thankful for my kids who never cease to make me smile.
Each day a new challenge. I would usually say 'nightmare' because that is what it all seems but due to the new need for happiness we are going to use the word challenge.
My insurance is wanting me to add my son, which I'm sure isn't a new thing for anyone but I can't even pay for groceries or a place to live so I really can't afford to triple my insurance. Don't know what I'll do about that but I guess I'll have to talk to them and see what the situation is. Stressing out, I know is not going to help anything or make the problem go away. We'll see what options there are and then stress out.
Today I am thankful I still have a job, I am thankful for being able to pay some of my bills and I am thankful that I was able to feed my kids today. I am thankful for my friends and family who still find me worth something.
Most of all I am thankful for my kids who never cease to make me smile.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Wednesday October 16, 2013.....
They call it hump day but it feels as far from Friday as Monday. I have kept a smile on my face, though the hours were long and the chain to my desk so short.
I find that the smile is key most days. It puts a smile in your voice and puts a smile on others faces as well. No matter what is going on, if I keep a smile it's easier to keep a good attitude.
We may never know why things happen the way the do, why things seem to always be put in our path to bring us down but I am starting to agree with all the pessimists out there who say to always see the cup half full instead of almost empty and things won't seem so bad.
I am thankful for many things today, for having a job for one more day, for waking to see the sun rise and the sky turn blue, for having a car to get me around in, and for having food to feed my children.
I am thankful everyday for friends and family who stand by me no matter what is happening, no matter what mistakes I make. I am thankful I have a warm place for my kids to sleep and for everything that makes me smile.
I am thankful I have a new chance everyday to start over, forgiving others and myself, giving me the chance to make better choices and a fresh new life.
It all starts with a smile ....
They call it hump day but it feels as far from Friday as Monday. I have kept a smile on my face, though the hours were long and the chain to my desk so short.
I find that the smile is key most days. It puts a smile in your voice and puts a smile on others faces as well. No matter what is going on, if I keep a smile it's easier to keep a good attitude.
We may never know why things happen the way the do, why things seem to always be put in our path to bring us down but I am starting to agree with all the pessimists out there who say to always see the cup half full instead of almost empty and things won't seem so bad.
I am thankful for many things today, for having a job for one more day, for waking to see the sun rise and the sky turn blue, for having a car to get me around in, and for having food to feed my children.
I am thankful everyday for friends and family who stand by me no matter what is happening, no matter what mistakes I make. I am thankful I have a warm place for my kids to sleep and for everything that makes me smile.
I am thankful I have a new chance everyday to start over, forgiving others and myself, giving me the chance to make better choices and a fresh new life.
It all starts with a smile ....
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Sunday October 13, 2013....
Well happy Sunday. It is a wonderfully rainy day, and although there is no sun and it is dark outside with all the gray clouds, I am having a spectacular day.
No work so I slept in. Took my son to work, made coffee, did some dishes and laundry and then nothing else but hanging out drinking my coffee. I did go and get a few groceries as well but have otherwise been taking God's hint and resting on this the seventh day.
I have kept a relaxed attitude today and have tried to smile as much as possible. I haven't had anything to complain about or be angry with. The house isn't perfectly clean but that's ok, it's warm and cozy and we have food to eat for dinner.
I have gas to get to work this week and hopefully soon I'll start getting some extra money. I am grateful for all the things above, and also for having the life I have had even though it isn't perfect. I am grateful for the rain and golden leaves upon the ground. I am grateful I can celebrate Halloween with my children and have our yard decorated.
I am grateful for Fall and the beauty it brings us before the winter. I forgive myself and others a little more each day and I am thankful for that as well.
Happiness can't be far behind....
Well happy Sunday. It is a wonderfully rainy day, and although there is no sun and it is dark outside with all the gray clouds, I am having a spectacular day.
No work so I slept in. Took my son to work, made coffee, did some dishes and laundry and then nothing else but hanging out drinking my coffee. I did go and get a few groceries as well but have otherwise been taking God's hint and resting on this the seventh day.
I have kept a relaxed attitude today and have tried to smile as much as possible. I haven't had anything to complain about or be angry with. The house isn't perfectly clean but that's ok, it's warm and cozy and we have food to eat for dinner.
I have gas to get to work this week and hopefully soon I'll start getting some extra money. I am grateful for all the things above, and also for having the life I have had even though it isn't perfect. I am grateful for the rain and golden leaves upon the ground. I am grateful I can celebrate Halloween with my children and have our yard decorated.
I am grateful for Fall and the beauty it brings us before the winter. I forgive myself and others a little more each day and I am thankful for that as well.
Happiness can't be far behind....
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Saturday October 12, 2013.....
Well here it is 8:26 pm on Saturday evening. I was up at 5:25 racing to work. There by 6 and finished out the day. Once home , picking up kids and doing dishes, gathering and washing laundry and straightening the toys overrunning my room from my daughter.
I didn't take the nap I was thinking about but the day has actually been really good. Had the usual awnry customers at work but they didn't bring me down and when I picked up my son from work, and he asked me how my day was, I couldn't think of anything bad to say about it. So I just said it was good.
We had food to eat which I am thankful for. Tays started his medication so he should be feeling better in a couple of days. (i'm hoping anyway) I still have tomorrow off , also grateful for that. Next week will be here before we know it but that's ok because then I can make some money to feed my kids. Grateful for the sun, and the warmth it brought. Grateful for the job I have even if it isn't the best. Grateful for all the fall colors they were making me happy today as well.
Keep taking deep breaths, telling myself it's all ok. Hope this keeps working because it's been a long time that I haven't been able to find something awful about my day.
Well here it is 8:26 pm on Saturday evening. I was up at 5:25 racing to work. There by 6 and finished out the day. Once home , picking up kids and doing dishes, gathering and washing laundry and straightening the toys overrunning my room from my daughter.
I didn't take the nap I was thinking about but the day has actually been really good. Had the usual awnry customers at work but they didn't bring me down and when I picked up my son from work, and he asked me how my day was, I couldn't think of anything bad to say about it. So I just said it was good.
We had food to eat which I am thankful for. Tays started his medication so he should be feeling better in a couple of days. (i'm hoping anyway) I still have tomorrow off , also grateful for that. Next week will be here before we know it but that's ok because then I can make some money to feed my kids. Grateful for the sun, and the warmth it brought. Grateful for the job I have even if it isn't the best. Grateful for all the fall colors they were making me happy today as well.
Keep taking deep breaths, telling myself it's all ok. Hope this keeps working because it's been a long time that I haven't been able to find something awful about my day.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Friday October 11, 2013...
Well today has been fabulous. Work was a little long and I only worked a few hours, but the calls weren't too bad. The place was empty and the feel of the place is kind of different being in the spot they moved us too. I kept a smile on my face though and was smiling when I left despite the fact I have to work at 6 in the morning. Yuck.
I am thankful that I got a few minutes to myself this evening and I am grateful that even though I have to work tomorrow , I have a job to go to. I am thankful that I only have to work a 1/2 day and then I'll have the rest of the weekend to do whatever.
I am thankful for my children as always but also for my mom who frustrates me to no end at times, and I'm sure I irritate her as well, but at times makes me laugh and has a heart of gold.
I am thankful I could buy my sons prescriptions today. They were not too expensive thanks to my insurance but money is looking scarce and we are not with much food. Hopefully our luck will turn soon.
Deep breath....
Well today has been fabulous. Work was a little long and I only worked a few hours, but the calls weren't too bad. The place was empty and the feel of the place is kind of different being in the spot they moved us too. I kept a smile on my face though and was smiling when I left despite the fact I have to work at 6 in the morning. Yuck.
I am thankful that I got a few minutes to myself this evening and I am grateful that even though I have to work tomorrow , I have a job to go to. I am thankful that I only have to work a 1/2 day and then I'll have the rest of the weekend to do whatever.
I am thankful for my children as always but also for my mom who frustrates me to no end at times, and I'm sure I irritate her as well, but at times makes me laugh and has a heart of gold.
I am thankful I could buy my sons prescriptions today. They were not too expensive thanks to my insurance but money is looking scarce and we are not with much food. Hopefully our luck will turn soon.
Deep breath....
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