Wednesday December 25, 2013....

   Well here it is Christmas day, come and gone.  The kids seemed to be ok even though we had barely any presents under our tree.  They of course were being nice for me. I am having a happy day by sure force of will.  I can think of a million things that would have made it a better day for them and everything needs money so never mind.
      Still very grateful I got to have my daughter for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning but I really wish I had gotten stuff to make a nice Christmas breakfast for them.   I never do anything right but I guess it gives me the chance to make it better next year.
     I have been praying for a month now for a Christmas miracle.  For someone to show up and leave me some money to either pay my bills and get food or to help with Christmas for the kids.  Nothing of course but I found out today that my Aunt who is really broke and wasn't able to get her kids anything, got a box of oranges with 200 dollars from a man she doesn't even know, and another friend got a pair of needed boots outside her door and has no idea who gave those.   So, I guess although my prayers weren't answered for me, God knew what he was doing and helped those who needed it more than me.   So kudos for God, knowing who to help.
     I hope that this year I can find a second job so I can get out of debt and find myself a life.  Then next year maybe I can help someone who needs it.  Maybe I can be an elf.