Saturday..

June 4, 2016...


  Lazy day.  Spent most of it in bed. Now I have helped change the bedding and done 2 loads of laundry. I know I should slow down before I exhaust myself. My love has cleaned the whole kitchen spotless and is now working on the living room. 
  Boys 2 & 4 are at work and boy 1 is downstairs. I am learning to get over the damage he has triggered which the ex imposed upon me. Still shaky a little but the medication is helping a lot and the coloring to help me block things out for awhile.
    Now if only the kids would get a long. Wishful thinking I know. If we are going to be making wishes then lets just wish the would both find a good job and get moved out or buy a car or something other than playing video games in my basement.  I'm tired and always sick, and losing my mind and I'm just not wanting to keep supporting them forever.  I have my future to look at too.
   B had surgery in the afternoon and was home that night at the Maverick center walking with her graduating class. We are so proud of her. She's such a strong girl and a good influence for J. who really looks up to her.
    Most importantly my love and I are getting along fabulously again and my therapy is going well and the future is starting to look ok again.  I guess the nervous breakdown wasn't so bad after all.
It was just what I needed to get the help I should have already had.