Monday..

January 4, 2016....

    Not sure about this years start although I'm feeling hopeful and trying to stay optimistic.   New Years Eve was a complete bust! Ended up driving around doing kids errands til after nine and then when I finally got home and got dinner ready it was past 10, my love had already had a few drinks and was pretty much out by 10:30.  My boys wouldn't come up from their video games to celebrate with the girl and I so we were alone at the strike of 12.  Me and my girl, just like always.
    Boy 2 is moving to Idaho tomorrow midday.  The boy that isn't mine will be here to pick him up and take him away.  Excited for him, scared to death for him (he has no job lined up) and already missing him.  Guess I'm the mom.  The girl keeps getting teary eyed and grandma is coming unglued. I'll keep you posted on myself and how I hold it together tomorrow.
    Finishing off a four day weekend, already had such great news, then find out my love is out of town for a week.  I can handle a week, no problem.  Til he called this morning to tell me he will be gone for atleast 12 days.   Twelve days.  Don't know if I can handle that.
    I'll have more time for writing.  I'll have more time for cleaning.  More time to drive kids around. More time to go insane wanting to touch him.   To hear his voice. To sit quietly listening to him breathe when I wake at night and can't sleep.  Twelve days.  We shall see.