Wednesday...

January 6, 2016....

    A part of my heart has left me.  Boy 2 flew the coop to test his wings yesterday.  He wasn't happy just leaving he really had to get away, and headed to a whole new state.  Now his room sits mostly empty.  I know it's only been one full day but I have been holding back tears the entire time.  I know what it felt like to want to leave. To want my own life, do what I wanted.   So I truly try to be the good mom that doesn't make a scene and cry all day and take it personally.  I try to say "He's an adult, he'll be just fine."  but really I'm not sure. There is suddenly a huge empty whole right in the middle of my chest.   I hope it shrinks because ouch!
   The other kids are doing great.  My love is out of town, this will be day 3 and only about 9 more to go.  I am trying not to think about that either. I miss him so much.  I still sit by the window waiting for him to come home from work , then he'll call to tell me they are back at the hotel and I finally have to give up the wait.  I'm so lazy as well.  Guess I feel I have nobody to keep the house clean for.
Dishes are piling up in the sink.  The garbage is stinking up the house.  The floor needs to be swept and it wouldn't hurt to mop it either.  Oh well maybe in 7 days.  I'll make it clean for when he gets back.
    The girl is with her Donor today. She won't be home til later.  Boy 1 is at work. The other girl I haven't seen for days but I think she is down in her cave.  It's quiet and lonely.  My scrapbook stuff is still packed up in the closet so I can't work on that to pass the time.  Guess it will be Netflix then.  Netflix and maybe a pizza?  We shall see.