Tuesday..

 March 1, 2016....


   Where to start, where to start. A new month, haven't written in a bit and things keep getting so chaotic I am not sure what last was going on but today I was in training at work for the outbound specialty team. Didn't have access to the internet and couldn't find most of my screens so it was a real good time. I'm hoping as I get trained and actually take a couple calls I will find it not so bad and a good distraction.   Maybe she's onto something and I just haven't caught up yet.  We shall see.
    The weather has been beautiful. 62 degrees today and a little rain sprinkles. My bulbs are coming up nicely and I have almost all the weeds out of there.  I really cannot wait until they start blooming. It will be more color than last year regardless, but I hope more are still coming up because so far I am seeing only about 9 - 12 bulbs blooming and we planted quite a few. It's early though there is still time for more to bloom.  My mums from last year are also coming back although they won't bloom until later in the summer.
    I may not have a lawn but hopefully this year we can finish planting the bushes and get the front flowerbeds done.  Plus fill the holes out front with more gravel. I do so love having a house when it is drama free and I can just enjoy it's peace and beauty.
    As some know my body just does strange things when under stress of almost any kind. Low heart rate, Graves disease, now days I just start shaking and having chest pains. Headaches. Stomach aches, kicks in all the emotional crap too, yay me!  I keep telling my kids so they try and give as less stress as possible but the other two living here don't care what they do or say. So the stress level just soars. My doctor has given me some anxiety meds to get through the month and says I need to rid myself of the stress. How does one do that?  Move to a remote Island and live alone? Stress doesn't come by me it comes to me full force. If I could somehow control it that would be great and I would already be doing that, but I can't. It sucks and because it sucks I always start crying as well.  An endless battle I tell you. An endless battle.... Hope it is another battle that I win.