Sunday October 6, 2013....

     Well I started my day remembering today was the first day of the new me.  I tell you I have a long way to go but it did help that I awoke to blue skies and sunshine.  the fall air was warm and crisp all day.  I prayed when I woke, then got breakfast for my daughter, took my son to work , and the whole time I only got upset once the rest of the time I took slow deep breaths and reminded myself of patience.   I don't think I said 'idiot' once.  It's a start.
      I have kept busy to keep my mind off things that I can't control, the stress is not needed anymore.  I cleaned the front room while working on laundry and dishes. I mowed the lawn, which felt wonderful to be out in the sunshine.  My daughter and I decorated for Halloween.  It was fun getting all the decorations out, and I can't wait until we can get all of our decorations together and start using them.
       I have tried to smile even when there was no reason to and I am about 90% sure that it has helped me maintain a cheerful mood.  It's hard to be mad and angry when you are smiling.  Things roll off your back a little easier.
       I am fighting a thyroid disease and it messes with your mind, so that on top of everything makes it difficult to be happy for long.  I used to be happy though, once upon a time in my life, and I am going to be happy again. 
     The new me is right there, waiting til the right moment, to break free and show the world what I can be.  I just have to believe in myself and work hard.  Hopefully this journal will help me stay on track.