Tuesday..

April 26, 2016....


    Rainy gray clouds, cold temps.  My most dreaded weather. I can't handle much more of the cold.  I really don't think I was meant to live in such cold temperatures. I was totally meant to be born in California or something. I don't think I'm made for extreme hot either but I sure do prefer the heat to the cold.
    Nothing changing here. So far today I haven't had any panic attacks but then the boys aren't home from work yet. Yesterday It only went as far as the head ache. I hope it goes no further tonight. I am really getting tired of living in pain in my own home just so L and his friends can do whatever they want.
    Work went well and although I wish I had a better pay I do think the work is rather easy. I get to read a lot of books which is nice.  I get to  visit with good people as well.  Win win. Except the pay.....  I do so wish I made more money.  It gets so old spending half your life using all your money on supporting your kids, then your kids turn 18 and you expect them to be on their own but instead you just get to keep supporting them, barely able to make it pay check to pay check so they can live in your basement and play video games. I want to live in the basement and play video games and not have to pay bills. We deserve that more than they do.  Wish they would all go get a life and leave me to mine. 
   I don't want to get myself worked up but I'm sure they will be down there forever and it is just suffocating to me.