Wednesday

April 27, 2016...


    Work was a bore fest so I left early and came home to get something done here while there weren't any triggers for the panic attacks. Last night and today I have been having some chest pains.  Manageable ones can still breathe but still I don't really want it to progress.  I am so at a loss of what to do with my future right now.  I don't want to lose my love but I can't live in pain like this. I can't live with these panic attacks.
     I don't know what to do.  He tells me I'm not leaving but doesn't tell him anything.  Just lets him stay hurting me. I don't know what to do.
     Work is good but pretty slow right now and every day it gets harder and harder to keep a smile on my face. but every day I do it.  My safe haven no withstanding I don't really mind going in I just don't like getting out of bed. I got a good score on my calls from this month and I'm trying to keep up with it so I get another 100 percent next month. I need 3 months of exceeds... come on promotion....... come on decent raise. ....